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January 8, 2009 |

By Seth Freilich | Industry | January 8, 2009 |

Seth: HELLLOOO? … Helllooo? … hellooo? …’ellooo? …ooo?

Seth: HELP! … Elp! … elp!

Some Guy: Hey buddy, you doing ok?

Seth: What do you think?! …think?! … ‘ink?!

Some Guy: What happened, man?

Seth: I fell into this fucking canyon, dip shit! …shit! …’it!

Some Guy: Uhm, take a look around, friend. You’re not in no canyon.

[Seth looks around and realization dawns]

Seth: Can it be? Am I? Hey! … ey! .. ey! Am I where I think I am? …am? … am? How can this be? …be? …ee?

Some Guy: Yes. You are where you think you are. Turns out she’s back and will be appearing on the CW’s “90210.”

Seth: FUCK! …UCK! … Uck! …uck!

[Two weeks later, Some Guy stops while walking down the street to read a headline]

“Former TV critic Seth Freilich found dead of starvation stuck in the massively freakish cavern between Tori Spelling’s knockers.”

Some Guy: Guess I shoulda helped that guy out. Ah well. lonely / Seth Freilich

Industry | January 8, 2009 |

Seth is a Senior Editor and sometime critic. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.

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