Pajiba

"Twilight" isn't ruining marriages. Ignoring your marital problems by focusing on bullshit like "Twilight" is ruining them. Marriage takes work, folks. If you spend most of your time making a life-size 3-dimensional papier mache Edward head to use as a dining room table centerpiece, maybe it's time to put down the balloons and glue and have a conversation with your life partner that doesn't include the words "vampire," "werewolf," or "I wish you were more like . . ."

I sort of hope the fanatic Twilight fans destroy their marriages. 1) It's instant karma. 2) Fewer of them might breed. 3) It frees up their partners to indulge in midlife crisis affairs without any guilt (yeah, I know, some do this anyway, but think of the poor schmoes who have a conscience!) and maybe they'll find an intelligent person to hang out with instead.

Apparently, these women who experience the euphoria of new love (lust) whilst reading a poorly written book have never read some of the better romance novels. Not only is it possible to get that rush, but you can do it over and over, with different heroes each time! Including vampires, werewolves, demons, etc., if that's your thing. Then again, they probably aren't savvy enough to find the Smart Bitches, Trashy Books site for good recommendations, so I'm back to hoping they don't breed - or breed again.

1. Yes. Married.
2. Uh, is it. Um, J..uh. Nope. I don't know.
3. Yes, he is a very smart man with a degree in mathematics.

I'm going to the midnight screening of Eclipse tonight. I'm not a mouth breather. I have a kid. A pretty badass little girl is what I have, actually. I'm not obsessed or a fanatic, though Pajibans like to tease me otherwise. As Kballs points out, not working on a marriage ruins a marriage.

I may be a little sick of the Twilight bashing. Maybe. Just a little bit. Human Centipede.

Thankfully, my wife knows the names of very few actors.

Also: yes; no; yes.

Make sure you wear a Star Wars shirt and bring a lightsaber to the midnight showing when you go review this film, Dustin. You might as well have some fun confusing the emotionally retarded twiletards.

Ruining your marriage? Don't be an idiot. Twilight might be the best thing that ever happened to your dull, lifeless marriage.

Your wife wants to fuck a vampire and/or warewolf?

Be a vampire. Turn the lights out, lie back/ be aloof, and don't take offense if she moans 'oh Edward'.

She's satisfied, your satisfied. Now fall asleep while she reads. It's not that difficult.

Who is Jasper Hale?

I'll be standing outside the theater at 2 a.m., waiting for the movie to end and the hordes of pheromonally charged girls/women to come surging out, looking for something, ANYthing to fuck.

Mmmmmmmm ... I'll take you. And you.

Marriage? Oh ... yeah, that.

engaged
who??
yes masters in physics!!
I am going to the midnight showing with my sister and I don't give an F who makes fun!

Here's what it's about:

You are a 37-year old Amercian house-frow.

You once had a career, you were once a cutie,
now you are a stay-at-home with 2 or 3 offspring.

When you were 24, you met this guy and fell in love or whatever, thought he was the greatest thing since sliced bread.

But now, you look at him every morning, he has some belly flab, maybe a hole in his underwear,
he works 12 hours a day to support your ass, he's not all that interesting anymore.

So you find this book about young people (which you are not anymore and will never be again), unencumbered with responsibility, discovering true love, and one of them is a vampire, which is dangerous and sexy.

So your choice:
Go back to your routine life,
or escape into some dreamworld.

It's not unlike the female high school teachers reaching back to their adolescence by having sex with their students.

I like matte vampires too. Rawr. I start my True Blood Season 2 marathon tomorrow (I accidentally typed that as 'marathong'. Sweet.) I don't swoon for sparkles, though. I don't argue the Teams or whatever. Just my guilty pleasure.

i have not yet gotten married i took e harmony' test they said if my answer to those qeustion where true then i'm too perfect for any woman on earth.like edward cullen. so far iv'e had three online girlfriends all from russia the first one introduced herself and shared a letter from her mother and father with me, the second one turned out to be the most notorius Con artist in russia the third one was honest with me but i don't where she is right now.

True Story: MrFig and I watched Twilight on one of our first dates. We laughed so hard during the damned thing that I think it cemented our love forever.

But now, 4 years later, he refused to watch New Moon with me.

MY MARRIAGE IS BROKEN! *sob*

(Not really.)