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Is Twilight Ruining Your Marriage?

By Dustin Rowles | Trade News | June 29, 2010 | Comments ()

By Dustin Rowles | Trade News | June 29, 2010 |


205739-dt-robert-pattinson-kristen-sterwart.jpg

With the midnight release of Twilight: Eclipse soon arriving (and I can't wait to sit in a theater, the lone straight male, with 500 shrieking women!), "Twilight addiction" is at a crescendo, which I know because Yahoo Movies wrote about it. But where there's addiction, there's always something dark and sinister lying beneath. In this case, there have been cited anecdotal reports that this Twilight addiction has caused a strain in many marriages, as women often neglect their husbands in favor of feeding their Twilight obsession.

"If there is a chemical that's released when you're falling in love, your brain has it when you're reading or watching 'Twilight.' You get that utopic feeling of first love and you want to experience it over and over again," one 50-year-old former engineer who has experienced her own "Twilight"-related marital problems, said.

In light of that damning anecdotal evidence, we thought we'd put together a very simple quiz to determine whether your marriage is in danger of strain because of your Twilight addiction. Answer these simple questions to make the determination:

Women

1. Are you married?

2. Do you know the name of the actor who plays Jasper Hale in the Twilight series?

3. Is your husband's Intellectual Quotient score higher than 70, or above the level of mental retardation?

If you answered "Yes," to all of the above questions, then your Twilight addiction is definitely ruining your marriage.

Men

1. Are you married?

2. Have you ever willingly watched a Twilight film in its entirety while sober?

3. Are you straight?

If you answered "Yes," to all of the above questions, then your Twilight addiction is definitely ruining your marriage. If you answered yes to the first two questions, and no to the final question, your marriage was over a long time ago.


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