Pajiba

I thought Whiplash was a woman. Definitely an interesting pick for Rourke...

Well for starters, I'd like to clarify the fact that I'm a hetero white male. To follow that statement: I officially have a huge man-crush on Mickey Rourke. Dying to see "The Wrestler". Problem is, the Trophy Wife has a serious dislike of Mickey due to all the past issues of spousal abuse, substance abuse, possible animal abuse.

But sumbitch is he badasssss! Can't wait for "The Expendables". Now that's a cast.

So, nothing against Rourke, but if the Iron Man 2 villain is going to be a Russian could he please, for the love of all that is holy, be played by an actual Russian for once? Seriously, nothing is more distracting and ridiculous than a poorly done Russian accent.

Sam Rockwell as Justin Hammer, on the other hand, is probably the most exciting news I can expect all week. Woohoo!

What is it about Sam Rockwell that makes him so appealing? He's not the most handsome guy out there...it must be his pants. They are MADE out of charisma. He's totally the type of guy who'd spend a Friday night getting takeout and watching Ghostbusters, before ripping off his charismapants and doing you on the sofa.

"...be played by an actual Russian for once? Seriously, nothing is more distracting and ridiculous than a poorly done Russian accent. ."

-----------------------------------------

QUIET YOU! all you need is Sean Connery, he'll do it with a proper Scottish accent.

PS: that's also how he does Spanish too.

Oh, I do a killer "my name is Ramirez".

Whiplash and Crimson Dynamo are two different people. Whiplash has the electric coils, Dynamo had an armored suit to rival Iron Man.

Sam Rockwell. He will play a rival multibillionaire business man, Justin Hammer, who apparently bankrolls criminal enterprises.

Fuck YES. The motherfucker creates superhuman mercenaries for the highest bidder, and a lot of villains got their start working for the guy (incl. Whiplash I believe which makes a bit more sense).

I do so hope they do an Armor Wars type deal for this or the third movie (as if they were going to stop as two).

Or, Xtreme, perhaps just picking the wrong type of girl.

Man, it's Ghostbusters FTW any day.

I've never seen An Officer and a Gentleman Xtreme, but a young Richard Gere isn't really my thing. I'm more the type of gal who becomes amorous when Dr. Venkman tells off Walter Peck. That pencil-necked bastard.

Oh, Vi-vi, I love it when you talk nerdy to me. I cannot wait to see all of these movies. And I would totally give my leftie to be the meat in a Downey/Rockwell sammich.

What in the world is Ben Kingsley doing in that mix?

Dustin, have you heard about Moon?

Ya know, I got me a new BF, but DAYUM!!! Tony Stark and Zaphod Beeblebrox together....that's a geekgasm sammich....yum!

I .... I....i....uh....huh....OH YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..............

I'll have what they're having.....

Nobody ever mentions Mr. Rourke in Domino. Is that regarded as a bad movie? Well, sirs and madams, it is a great movie - Mickey Rourke, violence, Tom Waits makes a cameo as a wandering preacher, and Keira Knightly gets naked. How it never won an Oscar is beyond me...maybe because of the lack of zombies.

"Are we really going to watch it?"

SEE? I would thank you for that. I take things literally and I respond much more than initiate anything in any circumstance. I need to be started up. There was that one time I was paying attention to "The Purple Rose of Cairo" because, hey, she said she wanted to watch it! Later on it was like "what was taking you so long?" Do you know what a frustrating clusterfuck it is for everybody to have someone aggresively attracted to me...yet acting subtle with me? I'd say she should've known better, but I might just be a freak that would throw off anyone's MO and expectations.

It's hard for me to make the first move Jay, my innate shyness tends to rear its stupid ugly head until I remember that I defeated that bitch back in high school drama. But in situations where I know the guy is interested, I have no qualms about being ballsy. The subtlety IS frustrating...I find the older I get, the less tolerant I am of bullshit :)

So...Julie now has a fetish for pants. I'm not even surprised.

And Dustin, you have the WEIRDEST taste in men. I'm not saying BAD, just...weird. I can't figure it out.

Withnail, your body of work is simply inspiring. I've enjoyed your comments so much and the clown penis is no exception! Hilarity.

Jay haven't we had this conversation a thousand times before? *sigh* And Xtreme I'm coquettish in my flirtations. It works on the men I want to approach me, trust. And Julie in general I never make the first move either. I like it when my mens take the bull by the horns. And by bull I mean me... And by horns I mean breasts. Soft, round, perky horns.

People, all you need to know is two words, they can be used at any time and any place.

You Fuckin'?

If the answer is no, move along.

A-fuckin-men!

I think a lot of dating/flirting depends on which type of substance is abused at the time. Beers/coolers tend to lead to awkward, can't quite coordinate with each other sex (no rhythm), while tequila tends to lean towards wild and kinky outdoor sex (great rhythm), but whiskey will just end up in hard/rough sex (good rhythm), but Everclear always ends up with blackout sex (no idea on the rhytm). Nothing worse than waking up next to a girl (in your own bed) and not knowing who she is. Especially when she asks you what her name is. Trust you me, she will not be calling you back.

figgy, I blush if the wind blows wrong. I blush when people *look* at me, for crying out loud. I feel your pain.

Figgy and lizzieborden, there is nothing better/worse than women who blush. For guys (especially the ones who can't do subtle well), it's the best/'worst thing. We can say "you're hair looks great today" and going by the blush we know we're going to get lucky/nothing. Fuck me, now I'm really confused.

They should cast one completely unknown guy in The Expendables. Don't even give the character a name. Make him wear a red shirt. And then have everyone but him die.

Given how unoriginal and uninspiring most mainstream films are, I hardly see how it could hurt matters much to a have a few films a year come out that are actually 100 minute incredibly overly elaborate set ups for an inside joke.

Wait a sec, are all the bad films just inside jokes I don't get? You guys would tell me, right? Right? Guys?

i don't know if it's sad or not, but the whatever part about "you fuckin'", admin, is that i might actually go for it due to the sheer audacity it would take to say that.

or else it'd earn you a drink in the face. probably depends on my mood. do you have ratios for it working/not working?

I don't know what MY response to "You fuckin?" would be, but whether the panties are off or staying on, either way it would contain laughter.

That totally reminds me of an exchange I had at the liquor store on the day before Christmas Eve.

Me: :innocently stands in line to buy port for her favorite aunt:
Crazy drunk guy: :bumps into me while getting into line: I'm SORRY!!
Me: That's ok!
CDG: :stands waaaay too close: Merry Christmas!!!!
Me: Merry Christmas.
CDG: Happy holidays!!!
Me: Happy holidays.
CDG: :stares at my tits: I would FUCK you.
Young couple in front of me: :turns around in horror:
Me: BWA HA HA HA HA!!!

I love my city.

Listen guys I'm going to tell you a sure fire way a get some lovin'. When I would go over a woman's house I would wear pants that were kinda tight in the package area. Before I would walk up to her door I would take a moment to squeeze my man-hammer to get him hard. She'd open the door and we would say hello to each other, then she would offer me a seat on the couch. I would on purpose sit with my legs open slightly just so she could get a peek at my bulge.

Rule #1- Never talk about sex with a woman in a conversation, let her bring it up in the conversation first, then shy away from talking about sex. Always appear to be embarrassed when talking about sex.

Rule#2- Every time you have a conversation with a woman always look her in the eyes and say her name, never say baby or honey, talk just above a whisper so she's almost forced to move in closer to hear you. Here's a hint to holding eye contact with a woman, look directly between their eyes, you can do that shit all day long without having to actually look them in the eyes.

Rule#3- Always wear sandals or flip-flops to a woman's house if you're just going over for a visit, never tennis shoes or dress shoes. Which brings me to my next point, guys please get a pedicure and manicure once a week. Trust me, it will pay off in the end.

Rule#4- Never wear more jewelry than the woman you're dating, you're just asking for trouble.

Rule#5- ABC A-Always B-Be C-Conversing. Women like being asked tasteful thoughtful questions, never be tacky or crude.

Rule#6- Listen, listen, listen. It doesn't cost a thing to listen to a woman talk, you might just learn something.

Rule#7- When you are at a woman's house and she's doing something in her house take the initiative and help her. I remember once going to a woman's house and she was moping up some juice she spilled on the floor. I took the initiative and washed her dishes. And before I knew it, we was fucking before I washed the last dish.

Pookie thanks for the tips. I am in the beginning stages of a relationship and don't want to screw it up. Not going to follow each and every rule that you prescribed but will be mindful of them nonetheless when hanging out with my woman.

Tamatha its Fuck The World

I'm glad to see that Pookie has been reading his Cosmo. Although I'm not sure about the man-hammer bit.

Lizzie in all honesty I've only used it four times and it was on women I already knew and that understood my sense of humor. I just felt like getting beyond the akward shit. Three times it worked, one time it didn't.

.....Rockwell and Robert Downey JR are starring together in the Iron Man sequel?

ansdgfhuvskj *thud* 'nadine? nadine?? oh god...she wont wake up! call an ambulance!
She's flat lining!!
*weeewooowwwooo*
what do we have?
22 year old female found unconcious and non responsive at the scene, muttered something in the ambulance about Overwhelming Ecstacy before-oh no!!
*beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep*
get the paddles!!CLEAR
*kathunk*
*beeeeeeeeeeeeep*
CLEAR
*kathunk*
beeeeeeeeeeeepbeep beep beep beep*
She's back! We've got her! She's okay...she's going to be okay...oh hey, check it out Sam Rockwell will be in Iron Man 2!
*beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep*......

Sincerest apologies for the over usage of boldness. My bad.

Is it that tough? Hmm, let's see - BSlim, nice pants. Take 'em off.

Lainey, nice pants yourself.

Off with them!

(figured I'd just join in. the more the merrier, right?)

Hey Pookie: You got #7 right. I married the man who washed my dishes. That's not just one night of getting laid. That's 26 years guaranteed, and so far, so good.

SEE!

Two problems with that guy Xtreme.

Firstly, he dropped out of school to be a carny. So he was obviously of substandard intelligence which manifests itself in his question.

Secondly, wanna fuck leaves room for consideration. Do you or don't you? Whereas you fuckin'? is more of an are you or aren't you? Do you want to do the act as opposed to are you doing the act?

So,

You Fuckin'?

I placed 11th in the nation in speech and debate. Yes, my mantle is graced by a foot-tall polished silver statue attesting to the nationally recognized skill of my tongue.

admin, you are so correct on both parts
*humble bow*

Only worked for me once. And it was the girl that asked me, so it was a forgone conclusion, really. It was like the scene from Jacke Brown:

Melanie: That's Japan.
Louis: Uh, looks like... I can... It shows...
Melanie: Wanna fuck?
Louis: Yeah.

Good times, good times...

All the Pajiboys seem to be quite proud of their oropharyngeal abilities. I want PROOF. And I'm volunteering Sofia.

Posted by: Lainey at January 8, 2009 2:52 PM
Posted by: lizzieborden at January 8, 2009 2:49 PM

After I plow you ladies a couple of times one or both of you needs to go and pick up some beer and a pack of smokes.

I'm not trying to be a braggart or anything, but Monet painted, and Strauss composed, Pavarotti serenaded the angles, and I do....what I do.

Diapers? That's going to cost you extra, Xtreme.

After I plow you ladies a couple of times one or both of you needs to go and pick up some beer and a pack of smokes.

Yeah, but what about you? I mean, you might want a beer or a cigarette too.

Not unless it's court ordered admin. Listen, I did my DNA test and I'm in the clear, so stop following me around.

Holy craptopus! go away for a minute and miss a lot!!!

I, like Kayanne, like my menfolk to take the lead...you know, a little forcefulness is a BIG turn-on. Hell, my man RODE THE BULL on New Year's Eve!!! Total turn-on. I'm lining up to be saddled next. And, I am very excited that Pajibamens have talented tongues...oh yes.

It's a trait I share....think on THAT one!!!

What, you don't get off on shaking the uptight guy loose?

That would absolutely be a turn on, Jay. And with you it wouldn't necessarily be "uptight"...we've seen your dirtier side, just in carefully articulated fashion. We Pajigirls remember your post on oral. You're like Playboy...if it were edited by Vonnegut.

Well, yes, uncovering the beast within the shy guy is fun....but what's wrong with some handcuffs, hm?

but what's wrong with some handcuffs, hm?

Administered by whom on whom?

All these clown-cock has got me wonderin'..

Do clowns go full make-up on theirs, you know, as in red clown cockhead, orange pube wig?

Awwwww, jamiepants! You my boo!

Well, you know, I'm just really reserved until then. Of course this is all purely academic, I haven't been "on the couch" in quite some time!

Jay, the fact that you said academic and "on the couch" in the same sentence just really turned me on. It could be that whole Playboy via Vonnegut thing again, though.

And Riley, Joseph G-L is precious...and he wouldn't be if he wasn't talented. OR if he wasn't in 10 things and Brick.

The fact that don't understand how sexy it is makes it infinitely moreso.

STOP!!!!!!!!

Can we just take a second and comment on the trailer we just saw? It looks ok, might be worth seeing if it gets better pub, but I have one pertinent question....

SINCE WHEN IN THE FUCK DOES JOHNNY KNOXVILLE GET AN "AND"?????????

Used to be, back in the days, an And meant something. And was Tom Bosley on Happy Days or Abe Vigoda on Barney Miller. Or even fucking Jerry Mathers as the Beaver. With the list of actors that were in this movie, it should be "Despite" Johnny Knoxville. Not that I don't love it when he gets kicked in the junk or luges down a hill strapped to a mannequin on Jackass, but he doesn't hold the weight of an And.

From now on, parcel out the And's with a little more reticence and contemplation. Like...And Powers Boothe or And Jack Klugman. Men of honor, men of importance.

Now back to the cunning linguists and their talented tongues.

And Pookie?

Zorak agrees with you, Mr. Rubble.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sU-noSHzbP0

I prefer to think of myself as a satisfying challenge.

Surely someone is up to the job!

I doubt it Genny. Both you and Lizzie are alone because you choose to be. Guys (and some girls, I imagine) would line up from here to SWSX for a chance to be your Pajibasuitor....

I, on the other hand, remain hopelessly alone on the side of the dance floor, watching the cool kids do the Teen Wolf.

I like it, I saw many info. on ***seekingsugarmomma. c om***. Very funny site. Like it so much!!!

...watching the cool kids do the Teen Wolf.

waitwaitwait. There's a cool kids group? When did that happen, and why wasn't I invited?

Trust me Rubble44, all you have to do is throw yourself into the fray. Or at least join the FB group and start friending folks.

Or you could do what I did and start stalking Julie.

(PLUS, how does "someone please lay claim to me" translate to me wanting to be alone? I'm confuzzed.)

GaR, we could just claim each other, if no one else is up to the task....

And finally: good morning, everyone!

That's purely for self-defense purposes, Pookie.

Ladies who feel Alone... Yea, I used to feel that way. But when I wished for a Pajibasuitor (thanks for the vocab, Rubble44) on a falling star, the next day I got Pookie calling me "boo." Thankfully he has returned to spelling my name wrong and ignoring me, but ladies, please, be careful what you wish for.

...and do unspeakable things to me, preferably with RDJ, Clive Owen or Christian Bale in the background.

Why settle for in the background, dammitjanet?

And thank you for the lesson, Kayanne. Note to self: don't get involved with Pookie, he'll only break your heart.

Pookie is an old soul and a free spirit, my friends. He cannot be held to one person, cannot be tied to the physical. Pookie loves and moves on to love again.

Pookie loves in a way that is free of the earthly notions of love, such as eye contact and caring about someone else's feelings.

You know, Kayanne, I believe it was Dustin's "Pookie Retrospective" that really helped me understand him. You just have to kind of .. let go of traditional ideas and embrace the Pookman for who he is. Then it becomes clear.

Pookie loves in a way that is free of the earthly notions of love, such as eye contact and caring about someone else's feelings.
Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at January 9, 2009 11:12 AM

Huh. I'll be damned. Did not know Pookie is my ex-boyfriend.

Also, AvB? You made me snort. At work. You win!

So is there an application process ladies or do we just kinda volunteer?

Ah, lizzie you forgot something...dirty talk is optional, but never hurts during your application process.

Well excuse me for not wanting to walk on the beach with you, excuse me for not calling you everyday, excuse me for not remembering what you wore on our first date, excuse me for not writing you a love poem. Now with that being said you would like to go get some take out and some weed and a room overlooking whatever?

What kind of takeout, Pookie?

Just don't do what I did and accidentally put the hot mustard on there. Talk about a sticky situation.