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Have Fun Storming the Castle

This is the best thing I’ve seen all week / Seth Freilich

Trade News | December 11, 2008 | Comments (54)


This may be the greatest inspirational speech ever. The only thing it’s missing is that quote from above.


Eloquent Eloquence 12/11/08 | The Many Faces of Keanu Reeves



Comments

Yep. That's awesome.

Posted by: tamatha at December 11, 2008 2:10 PM

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Posted by: Maryscott O'Connor at December 11, 2008 2:10 PM

WE.... ARE.... PAJIBANS!

Kill ROWLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at December 11, 2008 2:10 PM

I fucking hate you all- but man oh man I love The Mighty Ducks, and Independence Day.

Posted by: Emily at December 11, 2008 2:11 PM

*whine*

I'm at work and I can't see it! What does it say?

Help!!

Posted by: Trouble at December 11, 2008 2:11 PM

Your my boy Blue!

Posted by: admin at December 11, 2008 2:12 PM

Damn. Now I don't know whether to go out and win the big game, defeat the forces of evil, or get laid.

Posted by: Macafee at December 11, 2008 2:14 PM

Yes we can?

Posted by: twig at December 11, 2008 2:16 PM

I got lost in the hotness of Viggo and Patrick.

Posted by: Cindy at December 11, 2008 2:17 PM

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

I'm so fired up, I'm going to get off the computer....I'm going to clean the house, I'm going to do laundry...I'm going to stab that hobo who yells in my alley at night and wear his skin as a victory tunic.....er...um....YEAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Wait, Maniac Cop 2 and 3 are on TMC back to back? Well, maybe I'll do those things in a little bit.

Posted by: Rubble44 at December 11, 2008 2:18 PM

Wow, I am ready for battle now!

Charges outside with the trash, fully expecting a duel of some kind while violin music swells...

Posted by: Pants at December 11, 2008 2:23 PM

"Never give up! Never Surrender!" from Galaxy Quest was the motto for my high school's marching band my sophomore year of high school, as decreed by our band director. That was the same year we got to shave his head because we scored about 95 at States.

There are so many different kinds of dork in that story that I don't even know which one to mock myself for.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at December 11, 2008 2:27 PM

OK, I'm sending this to my friends.

Posted by: Sabrina at December 11, 2008 2:31 PM

That was aces. The coolest thing I've seen in months.

I'm going to get up now, stride down the hall into my boss's office, and punch him right in the face.

BRB.

Posted by: Jerce at December 11, 2008 2:32 PM

While watching that I wanted to simultaneously cry, laugh, scream, cheer, start a slow clap, brandish my weapon, tear off my blouse in ecstasy, climb on top of my desk, score the winning point and kill myself in a blaze of glory.

Posted by: scorzi at December 11, 2008 2:34 PM

What, only ONE CHICK in that whole gdamn thing?? Women never get the inspirational speeches. Assholes.

HA HA HA HA!! JK. I knew it was going to come up somewhere along the way, so I'm pre-making fun of you!!! HA HA HA HA HA!!!

But seriously: one chick, ten dudes? Sounds like my football parties. Just add some tacos in there and you've got yerself a gooooood time.

Posted by: boo at December 11, 2008 2:40 PM

Sloth love Chunk.

Posted by: Lucas at December 11, 2008 2:41 PM

That was so awesome that it almost motivated me to get my ass out of this chair and vacuum.

I'll just keep cruising Careerbuilder.com. I am inspired!

P.S. - Rocky? Rudy? How can you not be fired up?

Posted by: Nicole at December 11, 2008 2:43 PM

That video was awesome! It just needed one of my favorite inspirational speeches from Stargate SG-1.

Jack O'Neal: "Well, I suppose this is where I say something inspirational."
*long pause*
*team exchanges dubious looks*
Jack O'Neal: "Nothing comes to mind. Lets do it."

Posted by: Dev at December 11, 2008 2:45 PM

That should be my video alarm clock. I'd wake up at the asscrack of dawn, chug some Redbull mixed with coffee grounds, and just punch the day square in the goddamn face.

Posted by: feramones at December 11, 2008 3:02 PM

boo you have to understand that women inspire us to do good things like be better people and bathe but not to commit bloodlust or win football games.

Posted by: dylanj at December 11, 2008 3:04 PM

I want to inspire someone to commit bloodlust WHILE bathing.

Posted by: Julie at December 11, 2008 3:16 PM

So, like, I'm laughing, but I'm also kind of tearing up a little bit, and I have to admit that I feel genuinely inspired. To do what, I'm not sure, but I AM fairly certain that this video could form the basis of a moderately successful self-help program.

Posted by: gatesong at December 11, 2008 3:17 PM

dylanj, that's just because you haven't heard the right women speak. And because screen writers refuse to write bloodlust and victory speeches for women. I thought Eowyn did a pretty good job with her severely reduced part in "Lord of the Rings", when she growls "I am no man" before stabbing the shit out of the ring wraith.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at December 11, 2008 3:18 PM

Genny

I was mostly joking. Women do inspire a ton of bloodlust in men. Like Troy. Or OJ.

Posted by: dylanj at December 11, 2008 3:20 PM

Ha!

Posted by: Julie at December 11, 2008 3:21 PM

but I wouldn't want to see the female equivalent of Mickey inspiring Rocky to win the big fight. That would be a scary scary sight.

Posted by: dylanj at December 11, 2008 3:23 PM

Was I the only one at the end who immediately got distracted by the fact that the dude who edited it together's last name was "Blinkie", and just found that name amusing in its own right?

Posted by: PissBoy at December 11, 2008 3:27 PM

I've been known to yell "Get up, you son of a bitch! 'Cause Mickey loves ya!" at my friends.

For an inspirational speech by a whoa-man, look to Cate Blanchett in Elizabeth: The Golden Age.

Posted by: Nicole at December 11, 2008 3:28 PM

Some people have way too much free time. Lucky bastards. That was a hoot.

Posted by: rene at December 11, 2008 3:29 PM

for the record there were TWO gals in that montage (Bring It On and Pirates of the Caribbean )... however, i am surprised there was no victory speech from Elizabeth.

Still. Pretty fucking funny.

So, uh, Jerce you still have a job?

Posted by: Stella at December 11, 2008 3:42 PM

Anyone else almost cry? Yeah, that music gets me. That, and the Mighty Ducks. :)

Posted by: Carrie at December 11, 2008 3:42 PM

Having no speakers at work sucks. That said -

Genny(aka Rusty)- Galaxy Quest quoting is cool enough in my book to cancel out the dorkiness of band.

dylanj - Women do inspire a ton of bloodlust in men. Like Troy. Or OJ. I LOVE IT.

Posted by: Jeni at December 11, 2008 4:05 PM

Sure he was kind of a tragic antihero, but who can forget my namesake's definitive statement: "Evil will always triumph, because good is dumb." Words to live by, oh dark one.

tear off my blouse in ecstasy

That right there - the best way to react to an inspiring speech. Forget cheering, applause, or charging into battle - nothing beats ecstatic stripping!

Posted by: lordhelmet at December 11, 2008 4:07 PM

Actually, three women, although one is in drag as Peter Pan.

Posted by: Nathan at December 11, 2008 4:10 PM

Nicole, that was actually the first speech I thought of, but I figured the only people who saw Elizabeth: The Golden Age were people who wanted to ogle Clive Owen and the costumes. Which would be me. And you, apparently.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at December 11, 2008 4:16 PM

what's best about this, of course, is the newsies clip.

Posted by: JT at December 11, 2008 4:26 PM

you mean that wasn't tinkerbell?

Posted by: Stella at December 11, 2008 4:35 PM

'Remember, they may take our lives, but they will never take our freedom! Unless... unless they kill us, then animate our dead corpses as zombies to fight for them. Then they'll have taken our lives AND our freedom.'

http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0421.html

Posted by: ChrisD at December 11, 2008 4:36 PM

JT, you are my new favorite Pajiban

Posted by: Kate at December 11, 2008 5:01 PM

that was so awesome.

Posted by: Celie at December 11, 2008 5:07 PM

What follows is, for me, the most inspirational speech I have ever heard in a movie. It always gets me going:

Guy 1: It's a hundred and six miles to Chicago...we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.
Guy 2: Hit it.

If you don't know what movie that's from you're a dork.

P.S. Thanks for asking, Stella; my last day's tomorrow. Heh.

Posted by: Jerce at December 11, 2008 5:44 PM

Seth thanks to this post I now know I can pass my finals, ace my exams, kick ass on my presentation, and eviscerate the hell out of my senior thesis. You, sir, are my hero.

Jerce BLUESBROTHERSOMGFTW! Yes.

Posted by: Kayanne at December 11, 2008 6:10 PM

Newsies!!!

Posted by: LB at December 11, 2008 6:26 PM

Slow clap to all of that!

Also, yay for Jamaica's bobsled team...horrendously fab movie!

Posted by: Mona at December 11, 2008 6:31 PM

Christian Bale and the Newsies makes me happy.

Posted by: Crystal187 at December 11, 2008 9:56 PM

I figured the only people who saw Elizabeth: The Golden Age were people who wanted to ogle Clive Owen and the costumes. Which would be me. And you, apparently.

*sigh* *raises hand*

God her armor + cape was so hot.

Posted by: twig at December 11, 2008 10:44 PM

That is an epic montage. It might have motivated me a little to continue studying for my exams... However, it needed a little Mal thrown in there.

Posted by: io at December 12, 2008 6:05 AM

Word, io. I use the phrase "I aim to misbehave" as often as possible.

Posted by: Jerce at December 12, 2008 9:46 AM

High point of that video: "And Englishmen still abed shall know that I am the Lord when I say to them that they may take our lives, but they will never take... our Independence Day!"

Genius.

Posted by: Dill The Devil at December 12, 2008 10:01 AM

Oh captain my captain... awww back when Ethan Hawke was cute /swoon

Posted by: Irina at December 12, 2008 10:56 AM

I held it together till the free willy part. A orcha jumping over a little orphen boy should be at the end of every epic speech.

Posted by: Elpon at December 12, 2008 12:26 PM

I sent it to half my office, and everyone simultaneously roared at the Free Willy scene.

Posted by: scorzi at December 12, 2008 2:02 PM

I lost it when Free Willy showed up :D

Posted by: MikeTheG at December 14, 2008 3:07 AM