Inglourious Basters Posters

Brad Pitt and Eli Roth Are Mispelled Illegitimate Offspring

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (30)

Look, y’all! Brad Pitt and Eli Roth posed for promotional posters. And we’re running them! Because that’s what movie blogs do — we’re an extension of the studio marketing arms, only in our case, we promote things that we’ll probably crap on in three months (though probably not in this case). Basically, we show a movie’s tits, and then tell you what a bad lay it is.

Don’t think I don’t have issues with it. Especially where Eli Roth is involved. But here they are, all the same:

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Comments

He's got a musket. Why has he got a musket? That's kinda awesome.

Posted by: Lucas at May 5, 2009 10:33 AM

"I love hitmen. No matter what you do to them, you don't feel bad."

Posted by: twig at May 5, 2009 10:42 AM

Why does Brad Pitt's head look like it's sewn onto his neck? Anyone else seeing that?

Posted by: UncivilizedMike at May 5, 2009 10:44 AM

Maybe he's such a hardcore basterd that someone tried to saw off his head and failed. Tried and failed? Tried and died.

Posted by: king at May 5, 2009 10:47 AM

Brad Pitt is really starting to look like Orson Welles in his younger, slimmer days. Not a good thing.

Posted by: BWeaves at May 5, 2009 10:50 AM

It should say "ELI ROTH IS A HACK"

Posted by: Case at May 5, 2009 10:54 AM

Regarding the ring around Pitt's neck: Maybe he's been hung? (Insert your own penis joke here.)

Posted by: BWeaves at May 5, 2009 10:54 AM

Roth's eyebrows are STARING at me!

I see the weird scar on Pitt too. WTF is that?

Posted by: Trouble at May 5, 2009 10:55 AM

In what will no doubt be Eli Roth's best role since starring in Tales from the Crapper (thanks imdb).

Brad Pitt is really starting to look like Orson Welles in his younger, slimmer days. Not a good thing.

Then I look forward to Pitt's future in commercials. I bet that he could work wonders with Mrs. Pell's Fish Sticks.

Posted by: branded at May 5, 2009 10:59 AM

This will be awesome. The best thing Eli Roth will ever do.

Posted by: George at May 5, 2009 11:04 AM

BWeaves, I direct you to this NSFW link (thanks to Stacey at Webster's for linking it originally). Make your own determination. Kind of disappointing, actually. He seems like he should be bigger than life. Or at least, bigger than this.

Posted by: Snath at May 5, 2009 11:14 AM

Eli Roth looks like Sylar from Heroes.

Posted by: joan at May 5, 2009 11:25 AM

Snath I suspect he's a grower.

Posted by: Snuggiepants the Deathbringer at May 5, 2009 11:31 AM

Actually, hang on a second. After my scientific research of those photos, I have to take that back. He's really not all that bad. Possibly a shower. Considering average is about five inches (seriously), he's already looking past that in those pics. If he's a grower from THAT? Back up a little bit.

Posted by: Snuggiepants the Deathbringer at May 5, 2009 11:33 AM

Pitt's penis looks fine. I've seen smaller.

Posted by: BWeaves at May 5, 2009 11:36 AM

I decline to offer a full opinion on any penis I haven't personally examined, but from those pictures I'd have to say that Mr.Pitt doesn't have anything to be ashamed of. Maybe nothing to brag about, but it nothing to be ashamed of either.

And Eli Roth is the kind of guy where he'd be good looking if you didn't get the overwhelming sense that what he really wants to do is cut you into little pieces while humming "Tiny Dancer" or some shit. Also, per the "hairy chest" discussion yesterday it looks like Mr.Roth is wearing two sweaters in that picture.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at May 5, 2009 11:45 AM

I'm not saying he's not above average or at least normal, but he's Brad Fucking Pitt. He's famous, handsome, talented, and as-good-as married to Angelina Jolie. He should have a wang like a summer sausage.

Posted by: Snath at May 5, 2009 12:47 PM

So that scar on his throat is a little bit of a spoiler. Kind of.

Posted by: Claire at May 5, 2009 12:51 PM

Wait I thought you were gonna show us some tits Rowles?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at May 5, 2009 12:54 PM

That's a sawed-off shotgun in Roth's hand.

Posted by: Mattfactor at May 5, 2009 1:01 PM

I can't help but love Brad Pitt when he goes into Nutball Mode. It's when he goes into Clean and Pouty look that he makes me hate him.

Posted by: figgy at May 5, 2009 1:19 PM

I vote grower. Sneaky ones, those growers. And he has that calm, confident demeanor that comes with a surprise wang.

Posted by: courtney at May 5, 2009 1:51 PM

figgy That's how I like my Brad Pitt too. Straight up crazy. Which is just one of the reasons I love Fight Club.

Posted by: Snuggiepants the Deathbringer at May 5, 2009 1:58 PM

I don't care what anyone says, Pitt pulls off that mustache, and pulls it off damn well.

Oh, and I recently re-watched The Sting, and was shocked (SHOCKED) at how much young Robert Redford looked like Bradd Pitt (and vice versa). It's uncanny!

Posted by: ChristianH at May 5, 2009 1:58 PM

I think the scar happened before the movie and it's explain why he hates the Nat-Zees.
And did anyone else see the link from the previous page? Inglorious Basters.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at May 5, 2009 2:48 PM

And he has that calm, confident demeanor that comes with a surprise wang.

Next time I meet a man with such a demeanor, these words will play repeatedly in my head like a broken record. And I will grin like a giddy schoolgirl.

Posted by: Shinykate at May 5, 2009 3:35 PM

'Eli Roth is a Bastard'...nicest thing i have ever thought about him.

Posted by: Ella at May 5, 2009 6:49 PM

The best bit for me is that the browser header is coming up as "Inglorious Basters". I think that's a whole different movie altogether, albeit a potentially very entertaining one.

Posted by: redhead at May 5, 2009 9:42 PM

@ Lucas, that's not a musket, that's a sawn-off shotgun.

Posted by: chenry at May 6, 2009 9:02 AM

ChristianH - that's what I thought too! In fact, go you one further, He and Jennifer Aniston were the new Redford and Streisand. Let that settle, and you'll know it's true. Aniston is BAWBWAA.

Posted by: replica at May 7, 2009 12:15 AM

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Brad Pitt and Eli Roth Are Mispelled Illegitimate Offspring

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