Pajiba

1) Quentin T confuses the hell out of me....Pulp Fiction rocked, but since he has begun the slide into self-parody, and that wasn't far to go. I loved Planet Terror, but really could have lived the rest of my uunatural life without seeing his rotting, dripping whang.

2) Sam Rockwell is a god. I want to have his 2- headed quirky children and prove he is the plucky comic relief and that I believe he is a CIA hitman. Please come find me.

3) Kill me....just.....kill me. I live in a town in a state that worships at the altar of Toby Keith and his boot-up-your-variously-different-ethnic-ass-ilk, so ...... just kill me before this happens. Just give me one more chance to smoke weed with Willie again.

KEVIN COSTNER HAS MADE A MOVIE THAT ACTUALLY LOOKS KIND OF FUNNY??????? When he reverts to scruffy, "Tin Cup" KC, he stands a much better chance of making a pretty good movie, as long as it doesn't fall into the "feel good" trap, which it looks like it might. Looks like a pretty good supporting cast, too. VOTE HOPPER!!!!!!

"...maybe not." Hee! I think I might actually put a Kevin Costner movie in my Netflix queue.

Oh Quentin. You maniacal genius you. We've had a rocky relationship, you and I. Pulp Fiction and Reservoir Dogs blew me away...except for your "performances". From Dusk til Dawn was highly enjoyable...Jackie Brown bored me to death. You almost had it right with Planet Terror...it could have been perfect (El Rey is now my number one action guy...the first hispanic action hero we're not ashamed to claim!)...but you just had to put yourself in it, didn't you? When will you learn?

Toby Keith? If this is the douchebag I think it is...I may have a new target dummy for the cyber-squirrels.

Sorry for the nitpickery, but wasn't Robert Rodriguez responsible for Planet Terror? I do believe Mr. Tarantino's half of Grindhouse was Death Proof.

Yes, Toby Keith is bringing the pain "Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue" (he didn't claim to be ignorant of geography like Alan Jackson the year before, but still). That sorta jock rock country Garth Brooks helped open the door for. Makes me nostalgic for Travis Tritt, he didn't seem to be so self-congratulatory and aggressive.

I believe "Beer For My Horses" was his duet with Willie Nelson an album or two ago. Does this mean Willie will have a role? He seemed to have given it up after "Honeysuckle Rose" and "Songwriter". And how weird that those movies exist. Not in a bad way, just...weird.

To be fair, and to give proper credit, "Planet Terror" was Robert's movie (I love "Jackie Brown", but that's just a matter of taste), BUT he did give himself a big hammy bit in "Death Proof", which I didn't mind, but he sure didn't resist the urge.

Tarantino will forevermore be known to me as Shovelhead. I thank Erin at TWOP for the name. It is so fitting. Reservoir Dogs was awesome, I liked Pulp Fiction, and I hated him when he guest starred on Alias because he tried to hurt Spydaddy. I will reserve judgement on this newest project until a later date.

Adere, Toby Keith is not a run of the mill country singer. Toby Keith used to be, but then he started making songs that are inflammatory to anyone who is not Anglo-Saxon. A typical, good country singer is one who does not insult broad swathes of humanity. Those of the Toby Keith persuasion do not hit this mark.

I grew up on country music and to me it will always be people like George Strait, Johnny Cash, George Jones, Charlie Daniels, and yes, Willie Nelson. Real country music is, in my opinion, the older stuff. Toby Keith is an insult to that music and those artists.

All three of those movies look great. Especially Trumbo. I love movies about Hollywood.

Kevin Costner wins for 'The Upside of Anger,' which was surprisingly good, and though I've said it before here, even 'The Postman' was the best movie possible from that trainwreck of a book.

He has that obsession with turning himself into the Great Hero, but wevs, still more hits than misses.

Shadows:

I will spend every night this week plotting your death. It shall be glorious.

That is all.

RE: TK,

Plot away. You can't touch this. I should be plotting your death for your exceedingly bad taste, but I'll just be nice this week and let you flail around like a madman after a kitten orgy-bender.

Besides...I got llama power. Beat that.

i've always been vaguely suspicious that "beer for my horses" is actually a congratulatory song about lynching. by which i mean making it into a movie seems like just about the worst and most offensive idea ever.

Janana: If not for lynching, then at least for the very worst kind of vigilante justice.

Well a man come on the 6 o'clock news
Said somebody's been shot, somebody's been abused
Somebody blew up a building
Somebody stole a car
Somebody got away
Somebody didn't get too far yeah
They didn't get too far

Grandpappy told my pappy, back in my day, son
A man had to answer for the wicked that he done
Take all the rope in Texas
Find a tall oak tree, round up all of them bad boys
Hang them high in the street for all the people to see that

(Chorus)
Justice is the one thing you should always find
You got to saddle up your boys
You got to draw a hard line
When the gun smoke settles we'll sing a victory tune
We'll all meet back at the local saloon
We'll raise up our glasses against evil forces
Singing whiskey for my men, beer for my horses

We got too many gangsters doing dirty deeds
We've got too much corruption, too much crime in the streets
It's time the long arm of the law put a few more in the ground
Send 'em all to their maker and he'll settle 'em down
You can bet he'll set 'em down 'cause

(Chorus x2)

That was supposed to be italicized in toto, but I clearly don't know what I'm doing.

Toby Keith is the same kind of excrement as Dennis Miller. Both of them saw a commercial opportunity to salvage dead-end careers out of 9/11 and have leveraged it to a sickening extent by appealing to the xenophobic mob mentality. It almost makes me respect Billy Ray Cyrus for taking the honorable route and exploiting only his underage daughter for personal gain instead of the fears of the illiterate masses.

Here's my friggin' problem with Toby Keith - Not only does he reinforce his own dipshit stereotype, but he also makes the rest of the country look bad - "We'll put a boot in your ass, it's the American way"... Brilliant, isn't it?

As far as his stupid ass idea of a flick goes? Here's the problem: "We'll raise up our glasses against evil forces
Singing whiskey for my men, beer for my horses". What the hell does he mean, "evil forces"? Is there some ancient cabal chock fulla pagan rituals intent on conjuring up some benevolent Dark Lord? When I hear "evil forces", I'm thinking the friggin' Eye of Sauron, ogres, black magic, Dark Willow, Four Horsemen type of shit... And what's the idea with getting your horses drunk? You might knock down the first onslaught of "evil forces", but you go celebrating too quick you wind up with a RUI (riding under the influence) and your horses eviscerated by Lovecraftian beasties.

My only hope is he casts the Badonkadonk douche in place of Willie, the horses actually do get drunk, and the both of 'em get their asses trampled from hell to breakfast*.

*(no idea what "from hell to breakfast" means - it's something my grandparents say when they get agitated)

Bubbles!

How could Kevin Costner even CONSIDER voting for Dennis Hopper? Does he not understand that Hopper's environmental policy will cause the polar ice caps to melt, turning the world into post apocalyptic war zone covered in water, and Dennis Hopper will leave his role as president to run a band of gasoline guzzling, fascist freaks who will reign down terror and mayhem all across the oceanic land? I mean naturally Costner will learn to adapt by evolving into a Mer-man, but what about the rest of us? Call it a comdedy, but it doesn't seem like a laughing matter to me........

Shados, it is okay. (psst...I adore that movie. It is one of Spade's career highlights.)

Squeak, squeak. Squeaky squeaken.

Screw Toby Keith, I can't get past the documentary about Dalton Trumbo.
He wrote one of my favorite books EVER.
I will be seeing it.

LyL, not only is that badassed, but it sounds like something very much out of Donnie Darko. I don't know why...

LyL, your little town in Montana sounds an awful lot like my little town in Indiana.....

Is it bad that I couldn't pick Toby Keith out of a lineup?

Twig, really? I though Chris Sanders left after his project American Dog was retooled to become the abomination we'll all have to suffer through Bolt, starring Miley Cyrus and John Travolta. (I really wish that was a joke.)

starring Miley Cyrus and John Travolta

Wtf...when did the apocalypse happen? I know I wasn't goofing off in the bathroom that long..

Melody, twig...I love you both. You make me feel better about my secret love for the last good disney movies.

"Why do we even have that lever?"

Ripping on all of country music is a bit harsh, no? If it's new pop country that you're talking about, fine, and this yippee hippie ra ra Toby Keith-style junk is certainly lame.

But expand the horizon! There is some amazing country music that's come out of this country. For god's sake, Elvis was hugely influenced by country and returned the favor in dramatic fashion.

And seriously. Bluegrass is off the f*cking CHAIN! Banjos, harmonies, fiddles? Love. It. And you can too!

Give it a whirl! Everyone knows grass-type pokemon are the cutest anyway.

RE: David...

Your embrace of Tila Tequila and now your self-proclaimed love of country music has compelled me to add you to TK's list surreptitiously. I hate you, in oh so many ways, and hope you drop dead in the pool during a live screening of A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila: The Down South Edition (And We Don't Mean Geographically!)

Zoe Bell is a car hood riding daredevily goddess who can beat the shit out of me with a metal pipe any day of the week.

Was...was that sexy talk? Cuz you really gotta brush up on that...

Nah, that was "I got kicked in the head by a livid horsey as a child and am therefore slightly touched" talk. :)

Patrick Warburton as Kronk is some of the most inspired voice casting ever ever ever...no one deadpan quite like him.

Tarantino will forevermore be known to me as Shovelhead. I thank Erin at TWOP for the name.

HA! Melody, I do the same thing :)

Damnit...now I'm gonna go watch it again tonight.

oh! Kolby! if you are still around this thread, I heard an interesting (read: all sorts of weird and amusing) suggestion at a baby shower this weekend.
When you go grocery shopping (or anywhere public) always carry a jar of pickles, so if your water breaks you can just smash the jar of pickles and nobody will ever know. then your excuse for going to the hospital would be you got a shard of glass in your foot.

Dang, that seems kind of complicated. I suppose, if my water were to break in the grocery store, I wouldn't be waiting around to smash anything, except perhaps any little old ladies who dare to get in my way as I rush out the door.

I love them too...man I need to watch this movie again. I only own it on VHS, which means I can't watch it since I sacrificed my VCR to the gods of inferior technology.

Kronk Angel: "We've been through this. It's a harp and you know it."
Kronk Devil: "Right. That's a harp. And that's a dress."

Was...was that sexy talk? Cuz you really gotta brush up on that...

It worked on me...

Damn you, Kevin Costner. Why must I continue to be affected by your charms? I don't want to like you. But I do. You seem to try hard, but you always get on the bad side of certain movies. You are like the proto-Affleck. Damn you to hell.

In other words, yes, I will be seeing Swing Vote.

So, I suppose Kill Bill is now considered persona non grata in any Tarantino discussions? Or is it just too obvious a pick?

Anna Faris? As Linda Lovelace? I need to lay down for a moment, I am about to swoon.

Trumbo looks awesome. I was always interested in that period of American history, where hysteria was the law and insanity and paranoia held sway. Good thing that could never happen again, am I right? Hahhahahahaaaa...eh...mm.

But seriously, when are there going to make a film about the comic book industry back then? EC Comics, Wertham, the Comics Code. So much history, so many intriguing stories.

"I threw my Forty of MGD at my dog and now he's sleeping with my wife in the back of my red white and blue van, oooooooh these colors don't run and neither does my fridge, damn you bin Laden!"

If I choke on my PB&J and die, Julie, it's all your fault.

I think that I have more kids movies than adult movies at this point in my life. I don't even have kids.

Sadly, both Emperor's New Groove and Toy Story I and II are on VHS.

I have a right to own kids movies. Most kids are taller than I am once they hit 5th grade anyway. I love my stash of Pixar/Disney/Dreamworks animated fun.

But seriously, when are there going to make a film about the comic book industry back then?

The "Kavalier and Clay" movie never really got off the ground. I fear that it's better that way, but who knows?

Sniff...I love you guys. You're all so great and worthy of being my friends.

Except David and TK, of course.

Do not mention Home on the Range to me. I only see red. That abomination does not exist.

Nor does Meet the Robinsons...crappiest movie ever. Ratatouille was awesome though.

2-D is only a tool, directors of the world. You still have to put thought and effort into a good product. As they say, Garbage In, Garbage Out.

now I want to go home and watch cartoons...

[thinks longingly of the Robin Hood DVD sitting on the shelf...that foxy hero]

In other news, the coolest movie title that's most likely to suck: Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Undead.

lordhelmet...of course you can...I don't need a bunch of undead bumbling around, knockng precious vases over. But you do know it's gonna be awhile, right? You heard what he said up there...he has Slutty Drunken One-Night Stand Bobblehead™ on the list right before me. It's gonna take him awhile to take care of her...the zombies are just gonna get confused and think her one of them, and he has no real power on his own, bulletproof sweatervest notwithstanding. By the time he gets to me, my cybersquirrels will just rip him to shreds.

However, I do have to take issue with your Disney attitude. You do realize they're taking over the world, right? I would get in good with them right now if you knew what was good for you. Your lack of faith disturbs me...

Nicole! I watched the first three episodes of Dr. Who. I am quite intrigued. And excited for David Tennant, because as much as I enjoy Eccleston so far, Tennant is far prettier.

Was anyone else obsessed with Faerie Tale Theater as a kid? Disney's The Princess and the Frog immediately made me think of Robin Williams as the Frog Prince, and Terri Garr as the Princess. God I loved that show.

Dammit, you're right, Shadows, maybe if he promises to return her to me straight away I'll let TK use my personal assassin on the Bobblehead so we can get through this quicker. Thanks for the zombies, though. I'd rather have them than cybersquirrels. Now, for my master plan: zombies+Disney=wacky fun & better movies! (Why would I want to get in good with them when I've got my own plans for world domination. Geez!)

Nicole...I promise I didn't start this derailing this time!

Damnit, David...stop mocking my attempts to hate you. Fine, yes, you can pet them....grumble, grumble...

Was anyone else obsessed with Faerie Tale Theater as a kid?

And recorded them off the tv, commercials and all? And kept them for years after and watched and loved and laughed and cried...until your mom accidentally sold the tapes to the thrift shop and they became lost forever?

Umm...no....gayyyy....

Ted, I felt disappointed last November when I was flying into Chicago at.....10 am.

Just didn't have the same effect, and certainly not the same lighting.

But one time, I was indeed on a train heaving on to Euston. A high point of my life.

...a contact high...

You, sir, are a bad liar. Contact high, my foot.

Also, my seat was 26D. You see how frustrating this was?

And I couldn't look into the water below Hungerford Bridge because the sides were all boarded up.

But I did call someone on a payphone on 45 between 6th and Broadway.

Yes, I sought it out!

Fine, Nicole, I'll play nice with David...but no more Slutty Bobblehead talk. Oh, and Et Tu, Chica?

Bethy, I never said I wasn't enjoying the takeover! As someone who owns every last disney movie on DVD and goes to Disney World every couple of years, I'm fairly confident they'll promote me when South America is turned into the new It's A Small World exhibit...

Oh, I could ask for more Bethy. I could ask for a lot more. Like a magically refilling beermeister, a version of my dog that doesn't poop and can walk his own damn self, bras that fit perfectly, automatic orgasms, 20/20 vision, Arrested Development to go back on the air, and world peace.

But I guess cute things to look at is a start :)

What did you think the cybersquirrels were for?

I mean...what are you talking about?

{shifty glance at the shadows behind him, shows the three black circled tracking device implanted in his head...}

RUUUUNNN!!!!

bras that fit perfectly

That's why the might Godtopus saw fit to give men hands...

So the cybersquirrels are militant kidnappers who are planning world domination? Will I have to wear Mickey Mouse ears? I don't look good in Mickey Mouse ears. I'm a Goofy kind of girl.

That's why the might Godtopus saw fit to give men hands...

I think a guy's arms would start to ache if he had to hold my boobs all day. Though I wouldn't mind testing that theory.

Tarantino is probably the best film maker currently. Toby Keith, where to begin? First of all he should be sent to Iraq, seeing as he's all in favor of the war and shit. Secondly, that Tobacy chewing motherfucker couldn't find his ass with both hands tied behind his back. With all that brush to clear, I'm surprised Tex has enough time to make a movie.

1. I don't know who Toby Keith is.
2. I didn't watch the August trailer because Josh Hartnett bored me after about 10 seconds.
3. Kevin Costner being funny...well I'll be damned. That trailer actually made me chuckle.
4. Tarantino is awesome and if you disagree, I'll hunt you down Bride-style. Yea sure, he fucks up sometimes, and he is symmetrically challenged and he likes to put himself in his films...but so fucking what? Bitches.

Mmmm...cybersquirrels...tasty...

And bras that always fit...and adjust accordingly...

I think a guy's arms would start to ache if he had to hold my boobs all day. Though I wouldn't mind testing that theory.

Do you have to get the natives all riled up, Servo?

I used to think Toby Keith was just that husky singing feller who shilled trucks on TV. I had no idea the man actually has developed a career out of making the most redneck music since Ray Stevens. You folks are so educational.

Say what you will about QT, but the man can pull out some killer performances out of otherwise mediocre actors. I re-watched the Kill Bills recently and had forgotten how awesome everyone is in that. I don't think Uma's as good in anything that isn't helmed by QT.

What I want to know is when is Finding Nemo coming out on Blu-Ray. Dammit.

And if with those mouse ears Julie has to wear a sweater with her name right smack across her breasteses.

Mr. Pink told me this morning that he dreamt about the zombie apocalypse last night. Awesome. Influence of The Pink is strong.

I>Shadows what the hell do you need bras for?! Is there something you'd like to share?

They're for Julie! I always take care of my womenfolk! And she needs all the help she can!

Shadows, provided you refrain from actively aiding the Mouse in achieving world domination in conflict with my own ends, I'd be please to keep you as an ally. Especially a like-minded ally who has similar ideas regarding the roles of men's hands a bra replacements. Julie...I understand you're seeking volunteers? I have a list of names I could supply. Bethy, what the hell, I'll sign your petition, I could do a lot worse. I could use better eyesight anyhow.

S.O.D.: The concept of cybersquirrels entices me. However, just to be on the safe side, I'm currently building a cybersquirrel launcher. What can I say? I have a bad habit of being mauled by squirrels.

"We'll put a boot in your ass, it's the American way"

Am I the only one who reads this and thing "No it's not. Putting a boot in your ass is the Australian way. Do you not watch the Simpsons?" Seriously. Bart vs. Australia? Anyone? Anyone? No? Okay... back to my hole...

Oh never mind, it's Julie...it's probably something to do with sex.

That reminds me of my poor new roommate. She bought these thingies called Gem Gels last week and put them all over her window...cause she's cute like that. One set of gem gels were in the shape of cats, with various accessories. After walking into her bedroom and seeing them, I proceeded to ask her why she covered her windows with "gel kitties and gel sperm." Yeah. They were balls of yarn.

She'll get used to me.

Bethy you're right, I should add something. How about an end to obesity and compulsive public nudity? Easy on the eyes, good for morale and public safety/security, everyone wins! And with global warming, even us Canadians will be able to join in!

I also gotta say - Julie as a Catholic schoolgirl, hotter. Just sayin'

Am I the only one who reads this and thing "No it's not. Putting a boot in your ass is the Australian way. Do you not watch the Simpsons?" Seriously. Bart vs. Australia? Anyone? Anyone? No? Okay... back to my hole...

Kizzer! Meee! "I can't believe you were able to write so legibly on your own butt."

I get it Bethy, it's the short skirt/knee sock/innocent but SO not innocent persona...I must say me and my friends did look quite fetching in our skirts. But the shoes? Bad bad bad.

Shadows, TK, I'm usually a lover not a fighter. But, I am a mercenary for hire. I have a grappling hook, a large rope supply, knot expertise, and while I may not have a basement full of zombies, I do have a pleasure dungeon full of pretty. Man pretty. So, if you guys just email me your bids, we can get this interthread war started.

SoD, um, no hard feelings, k? Maybe if you sold some tapes you could fundraise for hiring jM. And we could watch too. Heh. And welcome to the petition - what's your wish?

So, if you guys just email me your bids, we can get this interthread war started.

Complete control of Europe? All the nuts you can eat? A walk-on appearance on Madagascar 3: The Search for Curley's Gold?

and what IS it with guys and catholic school girls??

Julie's got it...innocent but not innocent...and short skirts. We also like cheerleaders for the same reason. however, personally...I'm an all-over man...

Damn it Shadows, did you just cost me a groping? Sigh...I really needed one too.

Julie, I get the feeling you're a bit needy today, so because I'm an old softy at heart, I've got your groping right here. [gropes Julie] Better now?

*sniff * shadows......I.....I was just...*sniff* kidding.....

Dakaron, WORD!

Janet, have you seen Billy Ray Cyrus? Need I mention "mullet"?

score! [puts on Mike Wazowski hat, grins like a fool]

well, the polls are in, apparently I have to go shopping for a plaid pleated skirt and a white button down shirt
now what kind of shoes we talkin here Julie? innocent mary janes to provide an offset to the naughty nature of the rest of the outfir and bring it into stark relief? or just go for broke with stilleto heels?

and I am drafting up the first draft of the petition as we speak
it will soon be ready for publication and circulationI will keep you posted

Mine were the traditional saddle shoes...be sure to wear those with knee socks, if you go with stockings I'd recommend a nice pair of heels or fuck me boots if you want to cause a stroke.

Janet, you are obviously an enlightened individual. You are welcome anytime onboard Spaceball Two/MurderMaid, now with more murderin' and leaving-the-solar-system-in-a-hurry capability. You have also earned a pass from my personal assassin. Congratulations!

Ooh! I own Wilco! So with Emmy Lou that's TWO country cd's then. Does Grant Lee Phillips count as well? Cause then that's three.

And I know that you pajibans went to hell and had an orgy, but who let who bring up the country vinyls from the overwarmed bilous depths of Satan's gallbladder?

lordhelmet, Shadows, watching is extra. And Bethy already knows my contribution to the list; Christian Bale dipped in sangria. The End.

was that Bubs in August?

It's worth noting that equating Robbins/Toby Keith /Sugarland/Rascal Flatts/Big&Stupid with the real country music is the equivalent of equating Britney Spears to the Beatles. They're both pop music, but there's a light-years long chasm between them.

The country that gets mainstreamed in the US is fucking terrible, it's a popstarred, glamorized version of what country music should be, and it's WHY you all hate it so much. The truth is, there is probably more good than bad country music. But since the majority of people have such awful fucking taste, the bad is all you hear.

Anyone who wants to hear the good stuff, you know how to reach me.

TK: I believe you forgot the Dixie Chicks. They're like the Anti-Toby Keith. by that count I have...yup. five country CDs. Wilco, Wilco, Alison Krauss, Dixie Chicks and Dixie Chicks. Who'd a thunk?

Pink: OOOOH! You finally broke out of the big house! Yay! Anyways, hope you're feeling a bit better.

David: GASP! Nasville star? Really? You might want to keep that on the down-low, or else the Velvet Mafia will revoke your gay license. Those guys do NOT fuck around.

Anyone who wants to hear the good stuff, you know how to reach me.

You intrigue me. There's good country music? I might check this out...if I weren't so fearful of hearing the bad and beating someone within an inch of his life.

Bethy, if you're serious, lemme get home and peruse ye old music hard drive.

Goddamnit, I feel a blog post coming on.

My girlriend's gonna think it's weird that I come to a movie review site and get horny for her after...

Tell her I said "you're welcome," Shadows :)

Lordhelmet...truce! [gropes you back]

Julie, you're my kind of gal. You get a MurderMaid pass, too. Vermillion, we wouldn't laugh at you if you didn't make it so easy! SoD, TK, you guys aren't going to go and call a cease-fire, are you? I just got my MurderPopcorn ready!

So if I said "I'm in Dickies almost every day" you'd probably make something dirty out of it, wouldn't you?

Yeah, I thought so.

I could also add.....no, no no no no, I won't.

Jeremy,

You never called, so I got bored and watched Nashville Star. Basically, it's your fault.

Dearest Godtopus/Buddah/Jesus/Whomever It Concerns,

We, the citizens of Pajiba, ever so humbly ask for a few minor changes to the way this world is currently being run. We mean no disrespect, but we believe our lives could be made a little bit easier. We are, afterall, the intellectual elite of our respective cultures.

We submit the following changes in our existance for your purusal and hopeful implimication:
~a magically refilling beermeister
~a dog that doesn't poop and can walk his own damn self
~bras that fit perfectly
~automatic orgasms
~20/20 vision
~Arrested Development to go back on the air ~world peace
~an end to obesity
~compulsive public nudity
~public executions of those "artists" giving country music a bad name
~Christian Bale trussed up ans soaked in sangria

We feel these small things would not be too much to as from such an all-powerful and compasionate deity such as yourself, and would go a long way to the betterment of our collective lives.

Sleep on it.

You Faithful Followers,
(petition signatures follow below)
Bethy
(your name here, leave in subsequesnt comments)

I love the image of Jay having a dickie for each day of the week.

And now I'm laughing hysterically...

Women of Pajiba (you know which ones), please stop making me ruin my pants!

Forgive us, Vermillion, for we know not what we do. We don't intentionally try to...Oh no! I spilled water all over my white t-shirt. I'll just have to take it off...

As I was saying, we don't go out of our way to just...Dammit, I can't reach that top shelf. I keep jumping up and down and up and down but I can't reach. Maybe if I use this trampoline?...

jM: ha! Do you need help? I'll be ready to assist once I finish this lollipop and put my hair in a ponytail.

Is there any room left on that petition to provide Nathan Fillion with constant employment? They can be any types of roles--he's a versatile man. I will watch him in a tuxedo; I will watch him in fatigues; I will watch him in a suit; I will watch him out of...um. You know.

I think Jeremy out-dirties me, and I love him for it.

If ANYONE dares to speak bad about Johnny Cash, you will be on my list. I will find you.

I despise country music with a passion that only comes from being a furriner raised in the military and in big cities across the country and most of the world, Melody...and even I love Johnny Cash.

Shadows, military you say? Hate country but love Johnny Cash? Care to be the XO on MurderMaid?

If not I want to be Scotty, so I can beam people and such and such.

I'll take that job lordhelmet, but only because I hear that your helmet is sooooo big. And no, I wasn't playing with my dolls again.

Hee! Man, I miss Rick Moranis. I laugh my ass off whenever Colonel Sanders walks in on him, his panicked "WHAT?!" is comedic gold.

What the shit?

What did you people do in here? I feel like I need to go take a shower, and Julie can attest that I'm no prude.

*sigh*

TK, blog post, please.

ooh, ooh, ooh.....lordhelmet...can I be the snark officer? If not, I am one hell of a baker. I will keep us all supplied with delicious scones, muffins, and rum balls.

My comment to add to the petition...

Oh, Godtopus/Buddah/Kalimar/Jesus/Earth Goddess, et all;

We, the women of Pajiba, ask also that you assist the wonderful Nathan Fillion in finding permanent employement which requires him to frequently remove as much clothing as possible, while making snide asides. The same would be appreciated for Clive Owen.

We also ask in your holy name(s) that you eliminate from the face of this, the planet we share, the likes of Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, the new Madonna, Gwyneth Paltrow, and others of their kind. This would be a gift of your ultimate benificence and show your overwhelming love for man-and woman-kind.

These things we ask in your most blessed name(s),

WoP

Consider the country music challenge answered.

So there.

Yay! I'm officially dirtier than Julie! Now, I just have to out dirty grinder. I'm sorry, but really, a horse? How are you still alive?