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Inexplicable Inexplicability: Animal Farm, Angry Birds, Stephenie Meyer

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (15)

Boxer.jpg

Apparently they’re making yet another version of Animal Farm, which makes it the second attempt in twelve years to try to top the original animated film that broke my soul as a wee lad. The dogs that kept everyone in line? Terrifying. The grotesque pigs? Made me love bacon even more. Poor idiotic Boxer, working himself to death? If any creature ever should have gone Galt it was Boxer. So now we’re getting another animated version, this time all CGI, and this time with Andy Serkis providing motion capture!

But … there are only humans in the story for bits and pieces, so what exactly is he going to motion capture? Will they make him pretend to be different animals? Poor guy just can’t get work without motion capture. They’ve probably surgically implanted the little motion tracking devices, and one day when he can’t handle not being considered for actual roles, he will commit suicide, and studios will use the motion capture data for CGI suicides for the next fifty years. Wilhelm scream? We’ll have the Serkis Suicide.

This is probably a better idea than motion capturing actual animals though. Think about it. Hooking up animals to computers and having them act out violent revolution against humans? That’s just asking for a Cows with Guns scenario.

(source: Cinema Blend)

The next inexplicable bit of news is that Stephenie Meyer has gotten a new gig as producer of Austenland. It’s being written by Jerusha Hess, co-writer of Napoleon Dynamite and Nacho Libre. THR describes the film as focusing on “a single, thirtysomething woman with a secret obsession with Mr. Darcy — as played by Colin Firth in the BBC adaptation of Pride and Prejudice. The obsession is ruining her love life because no real man can compare.”

So, it’s autobiographical?

I don’t get what Meyer brings to the producer chair though. It’s a weird position, which is either filled by an extremely competent individual who gets all of the pieces together to let the director get the film done, or it’s filled by some actor who can’t write or direct, but is demanding additional credit and money despite doing no work. Oh, okay, I just got it.

(source: THR)

Finally, it seems that the rumored Angry Birds movie is actually happening. TK expressed the eye rolling idiocy of the project last summer when the rumors first surfaced. Former disposable executive of Marvel Studios David Maisel has been brought onto the project and he had this to say: “There has been so much chatter about an ‘Angry Birds’ movie, but it’s now real. The process is starting now.”

Oh well he seems humble. I bet he’s fun at dinner parties.

(source: SlashFilm)









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Comments

I could have been the first to comment but I have nothing to say

Angry Birds?

Posted by: kirbyjay at July 6, 2011 7:58 AM

"single, thirtysomething woman with a secret obsession with Mr. Darcy — as played by Colin Firth in the BBC adaptation of Pride and Prejudice..."

I don't think this would make her all that unique.

Mrs. Donut, for example, has a not so secret obsession with Mr. Darcy — as played by Colin Firth in the BBC adaptation of Pride and Prejudice. Luckily for her, the obsession is not ruining her love life because there is indeed a real man who can compare. Oh yes...

Posted by: ForbiddenDonut at July 6, 2011 8:26 AM

To answer your question about what connects Stephenie Meyer with Jerusha Hess, the answer being that both are Mormons. They both attended BYU (but missed each other by one year) and both met their spouses while there too. I'd be curious who else they bring into the production fold.

They are also both successful even though they're hacks but that's neither here nor there.

Posted by: bleujayone at July 6, 2011 8:45 AM

Poor idiotic Boxer, working himself to death?

I judge any system of government on what they'd do for Boxer. It's what we want - no-nonsense hard working people as the backbone of our country (or any country) and how we treat them in their twilight years shows our compassion and respect for their years of effort.

Of course, I never thought Animal Farm was a communist critique so much as a critique of any ideology - Boxer's pretty well fucked by most modern systems.

Posted by: twig at July 6, 2011 9:15 AM

I just told one of the little Stinkies that a movie of Angry Birds was in the works. He looked at me, disgusted, and said, "That makes NO sense." He's 9, btw.

Posted by: Stinky at July 6, 2011 10:13 AM

Orwell cursed ecumenically, so yes, Animal Farm could be used, mutato nomine, as an indictment of all totalitarianism and even many democracies.

Boxer would fare miserably here in the good ol' US of A, but he probably wouldn't be sent to the knacker's.

Posted by: The Wanderer at July 6, 2011 10:48 AM

I can't wait for the Words With Friends movie.

Posted by: Paultera at July 6, 2011 10:52 AM

Ooohh...I hope the Words With Friends movie has an interactive feature cuz I would totally kick your collective asses!

Posted by: wsapnin at July 6, 2011 11:15 AM

I never thought I would say (type) this, but I am completely Austened out. Please, Hollywood, leave her alone for a while.

Posted by: PaddyDog at July 6, 2011 12:22 PM

Just imagine Statham standing in an enormous arena. In his gruff accented voice he says, "I came to make Words, Not Friends."
Helluva teaser trailer.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at July 6, 2011 5:59 PM

Angry Birds may well set a record for the most content adapted from the least material. This would make a good Pajiba list (except it would be entirely populated with video game movies).

Posted by: LEROOOY at July 6, 2011 6:33 PM

Well...they did make a Facebook movie, and it turned out shockingly well in the hands of Mr. Fincher.

Could Angry Birds be another one of those?

NO, OF COURSE NOT YOU GODDAMN IDIOTS.

Posted by: SPAGHATTAH NADLE (formerly popejenm) at July 6, 2011 10:48 PM

Actually, Twig, Animal Farm is not only specifically about Communism, it is written to directly parody the early history of the Soviet Union.

Posted by: John G. at July 6, 2011 10:54 PM

They've already done an angry birds movie...Rio.

Posted by: Sarah D at July 7, 2011 4:04 PM

Cardigan Welsh Corgis seem to be the craziest dogs ever. They will brighten your day and make you feel awesome.

Posted by: Lydia Borba at August 4, 2011 4:03 AM