Indiana Jones 5 In the Works

Shia Says Indy 5 Is In the Works

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (51)

On the possibility of a 5th Indiana Jones movie, Shia LaBeouf recently told BBC America: “”Steven (Spielberg) just said that he cracked the story on it before I left, so they’re gearing that up.”

There you go. Do I need to say more, or do you just want to go ahead and pull that envelope opener out of your top drawer and plunge it into your navel?

Yeah. That’s what I thought.

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Comments

Anyone going to object if I kill them?

Posted by: alphawhiskey at June 17, 2009 10:48 AM

Not at all. I'll go gas up the MurderTank.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at June 17, 2009 10:49 AM

Now I'm sad.

So very, very sad.

Posted by: Kelly at June 17, 2009 10:50 AM

Indy 5 is bad enough but then you have to sear eyeballs with a greased-up, semi-erect LaDouche. You sadist Rowles.

I'll get the flamethrowers, whiskey and maple syrup.

Posted by: admin at June 17, 2009 10:52 AM

I really was not in the mood for Cock d' LaBeouf. Although that does sound like a tasty French entree.

Posted by: Julie at June 17, 2009 10:54 AM

I'm writing my testament..

Goodbye

Posted by: Magiel at June 17, 2009 11:00 AM

That is a Photoshopped headline picture, isn't it? Because A) Shia isn't that buff, and B) No one can have that little chin and stay alive.

Posted by: Neodiogenes at June 17, 2009 11:02 AM

Next career move for Shia LeBeouf: Greased Up Deaf Guy.

Posted by: admin at June 17, 2009 11:05 AM

I... am actually in the mood for Cock d'LaBeouf.

Unsurprising. I am kind of a perv. And a little on the pedo side.

Either way, Indy 5? Really? Huh. Normally, I'd like some of whatever they've been smoking; but it sounds like it's gone bad.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at June 17, 2009 11:07 AM

Admin:
I will see that if Russell Crowe plays the creepy old pedophile.
"mmm...creamy thighs"

Posted by: badalamenti at June 17, 2009 11:09 AM

Of course, if we boycott the next one and encourage our friends to do so...wait, that would require effort.
STEVEN SPIELBERG RAPED MY CHILDHOOD! *sob*

Posted by: Jim Doggie at June 17, 2009 11:10 AM

Real or fake, I hate that this picture exists.

Posted by: Jerce at June 17, 2009 11:20 AM

It doesn't even matter anymore. As far as I'm concerned, the Raiders films ended with three. The fourth one sucked sweaty, dusty, dumpster testes...

In case you haven't seen the fourth, here's a spoiler:

RIDICULOUS NAZI DOMINATRIX ALIENS SWINGING MONKEYS DUMB SAWBLADE TRUCKS FUCKTARD SNAKE GAG STUPID WEDDING SHART

No, please... No need to thank me.

Posted by: Skitz at June 17, 2009 11:39 AM

You forgot GIANT FUCKING ANTS, Skitt.

Posted by: Julie at June 17, 2009 11:43 AM

STEVEN SPIELBERG RAPED MY CHILDHOOD! *sob*

Perhaps one of the best South Park Episodes ever.

Posted by: admin at June 17, 2009 11:46 AM

That picture makes me want to beat the shit out of him before putting him on the short bus to high school, then drive quickly to his school, meet him as he shuffles off the bus, and beat the shit out of him some more.
How is he being marketed as even slightly attractive? Guh. Yuck. Gross.
I've already determined after the last Indy that Spielberg and Lucas are fueling each others' downward spiral into pants-pooping dementia. Circle jerk at the nursing home!

Posted by: tf breakher at June 17, 2009 11:58 AM

He has a little peanut head. I like guys with little peanut heads, I can't stop staring and giggling.
To the point that I completely missed the penis in that picture. Now I'm giggling at that, too.

Posted by: Sharon at June 17, 2009 12:00 PM

He's like, daring you to stare at his crotch. All "I know I don't have a chin, but I can make it up to you. Go on, take a look. I'll wait."

Also, there's some dainty feet on that boy. That's neither here nor there though.

Posted by: Genny (actually Rusty now) at June 17, 2009 12:11 PM

I had someone tell me I wasn't a *true* Indiana Jones fan because I said the last one was horrible. He followed that comment with a little "V for Vendetta is about as good as House Bunny". Several hours after this conversation I went into labor. Coincidence? I think not.

This crazy shithead texts my husband all hours of the day/night with comments like:
The Hangover had some funny parts.
The Lion King and Finding Nemo are the most over-rated Disney Films.
The Black Cauldron is the greastest Disney movie of all time.
Spiderman 3 is the better than 1 and 2.

I should reply to his texts with "You know you're going to be alone for the rest of your life, right?"

Posted by: Kiko at June 17, 2009 12:24 PM

Ow, my naval.

Posted by: Matt 2.0 at June 17, 2009 12:29 PM

Shia la Boeuf can be as naked and bulked-up as he likes, but he'll still be an ugly little twerp with a monkey face and a comically tiny head. It's kinda sad when you don't even rank as a potential 'neck-downer'.

Posted by: Shay at June 17, 2009 12:32 PM

I'm totally baffled by this shithead's meteoric rise in Hollywood. Here's a guy that has zero, ABSOLUTELY, zero range, he gets by Lohan style. (Meaning that he's always just playing his dumbass self) If anyone has any doubt about how pernicious Nickelodeon and Disney are he is conclusive proof of how effectively they brainwash our young.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at June 17, 2009 12:40 PM

I'm going to tenuously affix my heart to my sleeve and timidly step across to the side that's looking forward to this movie.

I am hopeful that Steven Spielberg has learned from his mistakes, has decided George Lucas is a fucking twatnozzle, and is going to make the Indy movie that the last one should have been.

You can all laugh at me when it's another abomination.

Posted by: Snath at June 17, 2009 12:48 PM

BarbadoSlim, I thought that I was the only one who didn't get this boy's appeal. I just don't understand why he's famous.

Posted by: Carolina Girl at June 17, 2009 12:49 PM

OK, in the past I've found LeBeef to be somewhat attractive.

And, I normally like to see pictures of near-naked men.

BUT, there's something NOT right about that photo.

Posted by: Drake at June 17, 2009 12:51 PM

If Russell Crowe drank a bottle of castor oil and shit out a big old greasy untalented turd....THAT is what that picture looks like.

I weep for Indy. Once, you were great. You helped melt Nazis. You helped put Kate Capshaw on the gravy-forever train and kept her (for the most part) from polluting our movie screens forever, you even made an extremely hot pair with your pere'. But, then you got greedy....wanted more fortune and glory kid. Hell, you even put Cate Blanchett in the worst role of her career.....then you gave birth to this mongoloid fuck. You are dead to me.

Posted by: dammitjanet at June 17, 2009 1:02 PM

There was an Indy 4? I tried to remember such a movie, but all I get is a strangely painful white spot in my memory...kinda like a flash burn. Hmm, strange. I guess I'll just have to hang on to Harrison Ford and Sean Connery riding off into the sunset.

Posted by: Jenilane at June 17, 2009 1:55 PM

That greasy shot of LaBeouf looks like a preliminary shot/audition photo for a pre-computer generated Gollumn...

Did I spell that wrong? I don't care. That's how I roll, bitches...

Posted by: Skitz at June 17, 2009 2:19 PM

How can there be an Indy 5 if #4 never existed? I do not understand. But this movie will never exist for me, either, so I don't give a fig.

I really don't understand how this kid has such a career. I...I nothing him. He's just there. But, how?

And for the love of everything holy, please take that picture away it is freaking me out.

Posted by: figgy at June 17, 2009 2:24 PM

LaDouche

Dammit admin, you went and got my hopes up for some MXC/Indy crossover, where Harrison Ford would be Captain Tenneal, with his antics narrated by Kenny Blankenship and Vic Romano, while the effeminate Guy hits on frustrated villains.

I'm going to have to go drink some Draino or something now, and hope it cleans out my brain.

Posted by: lordhelmet at June 17, 2009 2:45 PM

I'm pretty sure I'll end up like Walter Donovan from Indy/Holy Grail if I watch an Indy # 5 and 'choose poorly.'

"Whaaaat iiiiiiisss happening toooo meeeeeeee?"

Posted by: bombscribe at June 17, 2009 2:59 PM

Actually lordhelmet, judging by The Indy That Never Was, you my not be far off. I hope they have the Surfboard of Death.

Posted by: admin at June 17, 2009 3:02 PM

I have several reactions:
1 - Where is that photo from? Kind of creepy
2 - The difference between this and the Yorrick role is...?
3 - Looks like one of the boys from Southpark is going to get raped again. So sad

Posted by: Brian at June 17, 2009 3:04 PM

This may actually have a chance to be simply okay if they keep George Lucas' shit ideas away from it. Then again, it appears that it will still have Shia in it.

Posted by: NF at June 17, 2009 3:11 PM

Let's not forget Chief Ottoparts, as well as Wall Bangers! And there'd better be lots of Mystery Fluid and Septic Sludge..

Posted by: lordhelmet at June 17, 2009 3:17 PM

No. Why? Because no, that's why. NO. Goddammit, Spielberg!!!

Posted by: Chickaboom at June 17, 2009 3:24 PM

My navel? My eye!

Posted by: Odnon at June 17, 2009 3:25 PM

I have to say LeBeef was fine in his kid roles. He didn't ruin Holes and did a reasonable job as Francis Ouimet in The Greatest Game Ever Played so I don't hate the guy. But keep him away from big-boy movies and especially hallowed series. And for the love of all that is holy, remove that picture from the header! It is like 12 kinds of wrong.

Posted by: ed newman at June 17, 2009 3:30 PM

Is this picture from the lost audition for the role of Gollum?

Posted by: dawn at June 17, 2009 3:49 PM

"If Russell Crowe drank a bottle of castor oil and shit out a big old greasy untalented turd....THAT is what that picture looks like."

Oh, my God - that is one of the nastiest, funniest things I've read in ages.

Posted by: samantha t at June 17, 2009 4:20 PM

You can all laugh at me when it's another abomination.

Posted by: Snath at June 17, 2009 12:48 PM

I understand. I held the same hope with X-Men Wolverine and Indiana Jones and Greenscreen of Shame. I want you to be right.

On the plus side, the new Indy game coming out looks to be everything Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skullfuck wasn't.

Posted by: alphawhiskey at June 17, 2009 4:55 PM

*sigh* River Phoenix.....

Posted by: Odnon at June 17, 2009 5:01 PM

Spoiler Alert!

Indy's bastard son grows up to become Magnum P.I.

Posted by: Leftylad at June 17, 2009 5:13 PM

I... can't look away from that picture... I'm afraid if I do, he's gonna leap out & get me.

Posted by: Melissa at June 17, 2009 6:57 PM

I don't like that picture. There's something wrong with it. I'm not sure what but it's just off enough to be creepy and yet impossible to look away from, and now I'm staring at a picture of a guy I never wanted to see that naked and cringing despite the fact he has a perfectly fine body. I think the part of my brain that reserved for hot naked men has been permanently damaged from seeing this. Why would you do this to me, Rowles?

Posted by: s. pisaster at June 17, 2009 8:50 PM

Put a thumb over his face and it's all good. Or at least tolerable. Didn't see 4 and never will, not gonna see 5, so my memories of Indy 1, 2 & 3 remain untarnished. Ignorance truly is bliss.

Posted by: villain's minion at June 17, 2009 9:49 PM

the 4th indy Jones didn't really seem that bad to me i liked it.

Posted by: Utah Dynamo at June 17, 2009 11:08 PM

Wait, they're making a fifth Indiana Jones movie? They didn't even make a fourth!

Wow, maybe after they're done with these new Indiana Jones movies we'll get a fourth Star Wars, too!

Posted by: James at June 18, 2009 5:26 AM

Indy 5...bad idea...Indy 4 was a travesty...don't ruin the series Speilberg by making another.

DammitJanet...i agree with you 100%

BTW - i like Shia LaBeouf and hope he has a long career. He has IMO a very charismatic screen presence.

Posted by: Neena at June 18, 2009 7:01 AM

yeh if ya like the little fagboy look. lol

Posted by: nonw00t at June 18, 2009 8:37 PM

His looks don't do anything for me either...but i think he's a gr8 actor.

Posted by: Neena at June 19, 2009 8:27 AM

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Shia Says Indy 5 Is In the Works

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