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In Which I Come Clean And Reveal The 7 Real Pilots And 1 Fake

By Jodi Clager | Trade News | February 12, 2013 | Comments ()


MILF-Island.jpg

Oh, sweetlings! Some of you were quite clever little detectives and some of you just wanted the most horrific/idiotic shows to be the lies. My poor dears. Here is where I either make you feel better or convince you that your plan to curl into the fetal position and sob was probably a smart one.

"Beverly Hills Cop"

True! Eddie Murphy is producing, and may appear, in the CBS drama starring Brandon T. Jackson.

BrandonTJackson_jpg_630x500_q85.jpg

"Mixology"

True! It's being touted by ABC as "high concept" because of the one night premise and stars Kate Simses, Mercedes Masohn (pictured), Blake Lee, and Andrew Santino.

mercedes-masohn.jpg

"The Donor Party"

True! I know, right? NBC is responsible for this gem that is without a cast so far.

"Giving 110%"

LIE! This one was mine. I bet I could sell it to NBC if I tried.

"Wonderland"

True! NBC is looking to get their own gritty fairy tale going. They don't have a cast as of yet.

"Holding Patterns"

True! NBC is once again snapping up odd-sounding premises for their comedy line-up. Nothing funnier than surviving a plane crash with your buds and then dealing with the aftermath!

"Girlfriend in a Coma"

True! I'm sorry. NBC has cast Christina Ricci as the Coma Girlfriend in this comedy. Yes. Comedy. I'm trying to think of a funny way to get a comatose woman pregnant and coming up short.

After-Life-Movie-Stills-christina-ricci-11424855-800-413.jpg

"Sleepy Hollow"

True! Fox might pick up this pilot if all goes well. No cast for this one yet either.

Remember, if you think these are bad, just think of the drivel I didn't share with you.


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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • Milly

    Christina Ricci needs to be in more things.

    It was a shame that Pan Am got cancelled as it was just getting into its stride at the end of the first and only series.

  • jon29

    Commentors need to read more Coupland. Cliffs notes: no raping occurred in the making of this coma baby.

  • Bert_McGurt

    Wait, this is based on a Douglas Coupland book? That changes EVERYTHING.

  • bburglat

    Couldn't she have been (unknowingly) pregnant when she went into the coma?

  • Artemis

    I actually think Wonderland sounds cool (though it's NBC, I assume they'll screw it up somehow). The rest of these are just wretched.

  • logan

    But MILF Island IS real right? Right? Damn you Rowles dont tease me.

  • $2786243

    I am really hoping the coma-baby is the result of the character's instructions to a family member to make sure that the character becomes a mother no matter what, and that she was implanted with an embryo that she had created pre-coma. Because (while still creepy and weird) that's about the only scenario that doesn't make me want to act like that Smash All The Things rage-gif over this.

  • jon29

    High school senior, loses virginity, becomes pregnant, falls into a coma and has the baby 9 months later.

  • $2786243

    Yeah, but wasn't the kid born a couple of *years* into the coma?

  • jon29

    Not in the book.

    "After making love for the first time, high school senior Karen Ann
    McNeil confides in her boyfriend, Richard, about the dark visions she's recently been suffering. A few hours later she descends into a coma. Nine months later she gives birth to a daughter, Megan, her child by Richard, the protagonist in this disturbingly funny novel."

    Of course, network TV has destroyed some other Canadian books I enjoyed quite a bit (*cough* Flashback *cough*).

  • Wembley

    Oh. I didn't know it was based on a Canadian book. I can't read Canadian. But I can understand Canadians if they speak slowly and loudly enough.

  • Uriah_Creep

    I'LL DO THE BEST I CAN, EH?

  • jon29

    It's just like a regular book, except it's a little too polite, and it apologizes a lot.

  • $2786243

    Gotcha. (I could have sworn the earlier post mentioned that there was a multi-year lapse between Coma and Baby.) That makes the premise a little less concerning.

    (I'm also weary of the girl-gets-pregnant-the-first-time-she-ever-has-sex plot thing, but okay.)

  • Wembley

    So people in comas don't age?

    Cause Christina Ricci would have been 13 twenty years ago-so this is even sicker.

  • Artemis

    Seriously. If you decide to make a preposterous show about someone who spent 20 years in a coma and has a 17 year old child, at least bother to cast someone who wouldn't have been a 13 year old pregnant CHILD.

  • jon29

    In the book, she's a high school senior when she goes into a coma. NBC cast a 33 year old to play a 37 year old.

    Insert outrage here?

  • Kballs

    The biggest problem is how young Christina Ricci looks. She has a doll-like face that easily takes 10 years off.

  • Pinky McLadybits

    BOOK?!?!?!

  • jon29
  • Kballs

    Sounds like a barrel of giggles.

  • bleujayone

    Because nothing says funny like losing 20 years of your life, waking up and not recognizing the person in the mirror or the world outside, right? But this is Enema-B.C. where we take the ante and crush it flat. In addition to the usual shenanigans associated in the usual long-term coma recovery, we added the bonus of finding out you were somebody's rape toy while you were under AND that the strange person in the room with you who is your age when you went down and has your eyes is in fact the fruits of your violation...because it's HILARIOUS, right? But hey, you'll be at the same level of maturity, so it's really just like having a brand new sister with all the bitches in high school now older, fatter and possibly greyer, so there's that I guess.

    This isn't a comedy- it's an episode of "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" with a laugh track.

  • jon29

    I haven't seen anything about the adaptation, but being raped while in a coma would mark a pretty radical departure from the book.

  • dizzylucy

    I think NBC must be trying to kill us. There's simply no other explanation.

  • Kballs

    Girlfriend in a Coma is preposterous. People emerging from 20 year comas are a goddamned mess. They're lucky to regain the ability to speak, let alone get into hilarious shenanigans with their rape-child.

  • KatSings

    Honestly, if I weren't tracking the pilots this season for potential future work, I would have had no idea. There are some...interesting choices in development this year.

  • Green Lantern

    My vote would've been "Girlfriend In A Coma".

    You're a saucy minx, Jodi!

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