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In Case You Were Wondering, Yes, Transformers 3 Will Out-Stupid Its Predecessors

By TK | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (14)

2008_extreme_movie_007.jpg

No, I will not apologize for the header pic. Call it revenge for having to watch Human Centipede.

We will never escape the unending parade of Michael Bay-esque suckitude. Despite the fact that Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen was bloated, terrible, vapidly stupid and more than a little racially derogatory, Jerry Bruckheimer and company are charging ahead with yet another entry. Recently it was announced that a pair of actually talented actors — John Malkovich and Francis McDormand — had joined the cast. Now, word comes that one mediocre actor, and another terrible one, are joining the fray.

First is Patrick Dempsey, who hasn’t made a decent movie since, shit, I dunno — Enchanted? Which is one of those classic cases of a movie that was good in spite of him, rather than because of him. Let’s be honest — Amy Adams and Susan Sarandon made that movie. Dempsey was just window dressing. He’s not a bad actor, he’s just… kind of unremarkable. But he was recently quoted as saying, “”I start filming later this month in “Transformers 3″, which I play a character who is far more “dark” than others.”

Whoop de fuckin’ doo.

Even worse is the potential addition of Jamie Kennedy, who should be on every list of terrible actors that is ever created. Jamie Kennedy has only done two semi-intelligent things in his life — the first two Scream movies, and dating Jennifer Love Hewitt — and he even screwed that up (seriously, Jamie, you think you’re ever going to do better than that?). Kennedy is also unconfirmed, but I wouldn’t put it past Bay to cast him. He has a habit of embarrassing good actors (oh, John Turturro… I can never look at you the same again), and inexplicably using wretchedly awful ones as well. Other than George Lucas, I can’t think of a director who so successfully combines terrible talent alongside coaxing miserable performances out of good ones.

Transformers 3: I’m Rich, Bitch is set for release in 2011. May God have mercy on us all.

(Source: Slashfilm)









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Comments

Transformers 3: I’m Rich, Bitch

That has to be the greatest title...ever.

By the way, if anyone begins to wonder why I'm awake this early and commenting on everything, blame Trouble. She woke me up wayyyyy before I usually get up, and I'm slowly losing my mind to boredom.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at May 4, 2010 10:36 AM

*Note in agenda*

Buy an uninhabited island and move there before 2011.

Posted by: Magiel at May 4, 2010 10:37 AM

Every person on chatroullete looks like the header pic.

I know because for the first time I went there today. I saw no less than 3 penises (although to be fair, one was in the guys underwear, though still clearly erect). It should be called "circlejerk.com"

I do not recommend.

Posted by: superasente at May 4, 2010 10:38 AM

I didn't mind Jaimie Kennedy, not that I thought he was a good actor, but he was just kind of one of those "awwwwe, look at the doofus" types. Then I saw his documentary Heckler. Dude is one of the whiniest little bitches I've ever seen. Take the hint, man.

Posted by: admin at May 4, 2010 10:42 AM

Maybe by "dark" Dempsey means he'll be sporting blackface, which will not only carry the racist mantle from the last installment, but will also give us something to talk about in his performance.

Posted by: michaelceratops at May 4, 2010 10:45 AM

You know, when I saw the picture, I thought, "That's even worse than TK's Human Centipede bait and switch" and now I find that he thinks it is some sort of revenge for having watched the movie. Nice try. You know you wanted to see it and you know that we know you wanted to see it. The Jamie Kennedy picture was just petty.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at May 4, 2010 10:51 AM

hey guys..what do u think about this? just chat with me --I am an open-mineded single girl and I love sports. I want to end my single life by meeting a guy who likes sports too. Let's mingle at the club ___Tallmingle.com_____" which is a popular meeting site for tall singles and admirers!

Posted by: Millerma at May 4, 2010 10:56 AM

Millerma, if that's your real name. I like sports and I'll gladly end your life, single or otherwise.

Posted by: The Other Agent Johnson at May 4, 2010 11:00 AM

I think that header pic was to cool the raging boners (and lady boners) that the JGL pic below caused.

It sure worked for me.

Posted by: Drake at May 4, 2010 11:24 AM

DB,
Hahahahahahahahahaha! That's what you get for texting me after 10 pm! Asshole!

I WAS SLEEPING!!!!!

About this thread: Meh.

Posted by: Trouble at May 4, 2010 11:42 AM

We have any Mayans with connections here who can get the end of the world moved up a year?

Thanks.

Posted by: , at May 4, 2010 12:03 PM

I'll see what I can do comma.

Posted by: Dangerous Dave at May 4, 2010 12:11 PM

"Dangerous Dave" is a Mayan name?

Posted by: superasente at May 4, 2010 12:41 PM

admin- I saw Heckler and thought exactly the same thing. He might have had a small point about how shit films don't justify some of the extreme invective that get thrown at them, but by the 15th time he made the same point, all I could think was "oh fuck will YOU JUST SHUT UP". It was a 15 minute point that took 90 minutes to make.

Posted by: Squirrelgripper at May 4, 2010 7:06 PM