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Iron Man 2, The Expendables, Jonah Hex and Shirtless People

Pretty Pictures Round-Up / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | July 29, 2009 | Comments (47)

I don’t want to devote an entire post to each of these images circulating around the Internet at the moment, so I’m just going to unleash them all at once, overload your brain, and then steal your wallet when you land face first into your Cheerios.

Here we go. First up, here’s the first movie poster for Jonah Hex, starring Josh Brolin and Megan Fox. The movie, set in the Wild Wild West, is about a scarred bounty hunter who tracks a voodoo practitioner bent on liberating the South by raising an army of the undead. It’s a decent looking poster:

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Next up, a teaser poster for James Cameron’s Avatar, featuring Sam Worthington’s character. It does absolutely nothing for me, although he looks kind of glittery and Twilight-y:

avatar-poster_1.jpg

Here’s another new one from Iron Man 2, and is it just me, or does RDJ look a little like Evil Hasselhoff? Just me, huh?

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Here’s a couple of new images from Astroboy. Try your damndest to give a shit.

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astro-boy-monster-oneshot.jpg

We’re still not done. Check this image out from The Expendables, which stars — among many others — Sylvester Stallone and Mickey Rourke, who both look like they might be spending the better part of the movie crying, “I’m too old for this shit.”

expendables-rourke.jpg

Here’s another image from Prince of Persia. Clearly, Jake is having some difficulty keeping his shirt buttoned.

prince-of-persia-image.jpg

And here’s some new art work for Zack Snyder’s next film, Sucker Punch.


suckerpunchartwork.jpg


Finally, your reward for making it all the way to the bottom here:

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Comments

I can't for the life of me remember what Sucker Punch is about, but that just might be my new favorite movie poster ever.

Posted by: Snath at July 29, 2009 10:14 AM

BUNK.

Posted by: gp at July 29, 2009 10:14 AM

Well, I certainly feel rewarded for that.

Posted by: Vermillion at July 29, 2009 10:17 AM

Is it wrong that I prefer the Danica McKellar picture? PRETTY.

Posted by: Julie at July 29, 2009 10:23 AM

I guess Danica is technically shirtless but that is somewhat less than I was hoping for when I read "Shirtless people."

Tease.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at July 29, 2009 10:27 AM

OMGZ! First, little Miley gets lured into porn by the she-devil Liebowitz and now poor, innocent Danica McKellar is posed like some little Lolita so that pedobears world-wide can have an international spankathon? What is this world coming to? (Heh... see what I did there?)
What's that? Danica is HOW old?
Oh... never mind.

*sounds of zipper manipulation*

Posted by: Spender at July 29, 2009 10:31 AM

Anybody know how to clean a keyboard? I mean really clean it.

Posted by: admin at July 29, 2009 10:38 AM

Hm, that poster for Jonah Hex is decent looking. Except for the Megan Fox. (HA!)

Jake G. can have all the trouble he likes keeping his shirt buttoned. I am somehow OK with that.

The Sucker Punch art is (mostly) beautiful.

*gasp* BUNK. (The only question is, Danica or Josh? Oh, what the hell... let's make it a three-way!)

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at July 29, 2009 10:39 AM

Posted by: admin at July 29, 2009 10:38 AM


Depending on the damage done, Lemon Pledge works. Glass cleaner works too. For the screen.

Posted by: annoyingmouse at July 29, 2009 10:43 AM

Today is Wednesday.

...

Posted by: Skitz at July 29, 2009 10:45 AM

The crazy part about Ms. McKellar is she's also smarter than you. She's got two math books out, and physics theorem with her name on it, and helped get National Pi Day created this year!

Unfortunately, she also got married earlier this year.

So the perfect nerd ideal is off the market! (She married a musician who is also a computer nerd, so that should give some folks a little hope for finding hot love).

Posted by: morganew at July 29, 2009 10:46 AM

That picture of Danika makes me feel slightly dirty, like when I see my neighbor's teenage daughter undressing through her bedroom window across the street. The same one that, a couple of years ago, I would see playing jump rope with her friends, and now I can't help but notice that she's got nice boobies.

I know it's wrong, but still...

Posted by: Neodiogenes at July 29, 2009 10:47 AM

To be fair to Jake, that's pretty true to how the Prince dresses. Also I finally watched The Guild after that review yesterday. Brilliant!

Posted by: Chugga at July 29, 2009 11:12 AM

Why does Jake always look like a gay pirate in his Prince outfits?

I have no idea what Suckerpunch is about, but I love the poster. It's like a punk Belle Epoche poster.

Posted by: BWeaves at July 29, 2009 11:15 AM

Danke schön.

Posted by: Cindy at July 29, 2009 11:19 AM

Anybody know how to clean a keyboard? I mean really clean it.

Posted by: admin at July 29, 2009 10:38 AM


Q-tips, rubbing alcohol and a little bit of OCD

Posted by: Heather at July 29, 2009 11:25 AM

You see, the Persians never invented the button. So, historically speaking, their shirts flapped attractively open when not secured by a sash or belt. It was Darius the Great in 450 BC who...
Oh never mind, I am not defending the historical accuracy of this movie anymore. Jake G is hot, and I couldn't be more pleased that he is button challenged.
Also: Sawyer= Bunk!

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at July 29, 2009 11:31 AM

The Prince of Persia poster is hilarious because the woman is rapidly exiting some sort of outdoor public fountain as Jake whips around in circles to help. They show no signs of being attacked, so what's going on?

Were there freshwater sharks in there? Does she have bad balance combined with an inability to swim in 1 foot of water? Did she suddenly realize it was an open air latrine?

I know. It's a Roman bath and she suddenly saw the sign saying, "No Persian Bitches Allowed," and had to break the fuck out.

Posted by: Kballs at July 29, 2009 11:33 AM

*Lights up a cigarette* So was it good for you too?

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at July 29, 2009 11:34 AM

BWeaves, that's probably because he totally is a gay pirate.
A HOT gay pirate but you know, gay...with the pirating.

Posted by: JenVegas at July 29, 2009 11:39 AM

Jonah Hex: They've got Megan Fox's cleavage on there, and that's apparently all a movie needs.

Iron Man 2: Overly groomed facial hair annoys me.

Sucker Punch: No matter what that movie is, it can never be as cool as the poster. So what's the point?

Even I'm not immune to Josh Holloway's dimples, but he needs to work on his chest a bit.

Posted by: Todd at July 29, 2009 11:53 AM

Can I poll the menz on here for just a second? Is Megan Fox's waistline up there actually alluring or is it troubling in a "but where did her organs go?" kind of way? Because I'm leaning to the second but since I don't want to make the boom-boom with Ms.Fox, I figured I'd check with her target audience.

Because seriously, where did her organs go? Are they in her boobies? That seems uncomfortable and inconvenient.

Posted by: Genny (actually Rusty now) at July 29, 2009 12:11 PM

Also, I think I detect chest hair on that Prince of Persia still which makes me happy. Some of us ladies like our men with a reasonable amount of fur.

Posted by: Genny (actually Rusty now) at July 29, 2009 12:16 PM

Never has math looked quite so appetizing.

"Oh Danica, say it...go on...."

"Alright.... 3.1415926535897932384626433832795…"

What can I say, I like pi.

Posted by: bleujayone at July 29, 2009 12:37 PM

G(aRn), I also wondered about that. And the lower half of her rib cage. These are things she probably needs.

Posted by: Alice at July 29, 2009 12:40 PM

Yeah, but if her stomach exists solely to process ice chips and soy crisps, then her intestines probably resemble a ball of yarn and yarn's pretty easy to squeeze into a squishy little ball.

Although if she's anything like other Hollywood starlets, it's pinching that enlarged liver I'd be worried about.

Posted by: Leigh at July 29, 2009 12:48 PM

Hey Genny, I'm a little furry. Sort of a Ruffalo/Jackman furry.

So you've got red hair, huh? That's cool. So what's goin' on? Oh, you like Neil Gaiman? ha ha. That's funny. He's my favorite, too. You know what I can't get enough of? Books that have a twist ending that actually fits the story, you know? You too?! Oh man, we have so much in common . . .

Posted by: Kballs at July 29, 2009 12:50 PM

Even I'm not immune to Josh Holloway's dimples, but he needs to work on his chest a bit.

*pokes head out of bunk*

Maybe you should work on your face, Todd the Clod!

Posted by: jM at July 29, 2009 1:01 PM

@Genny That's what corsets do. Well, corsets and photoshop. If she actually wore one on a regular basis that tight her liver would start to move down into her hip cavity and her stomach would be pushing up toward her lungs, her kidneys would start to push towards her spine. Her lower ribs would bow in, and her back muscles might begin to atrophy, depending on just how tight it was and how many hours a day she wore it. Sexy, no?

She isn't that tiny in reality, photoshop easily took 3" off what she looked like in the studio, women don't start wearing corsets young enough nowadays to allow them to cinch as tight as they were in the olden days.

Which brings me to my huge costuming pet peeve. Corsets are UNDERWEAR! You put a dress over them! I know it's supposed to be "sexy" and all, I get that, but seriously, you don't run around in a corset and a skirt, you just don't. it's like running around in a bathrobe and calling it couture. At least throw a dress with the bodice ripped open over it. Then you've got the "Oops! In all the excitement my clothes fell off!" look.

Posted by: lumenatrix at July 29, 2009 1:11 PM

I see Megan Fox is hard at work making the one expression her face can make. Boring. Not even Josh Brolin makes me want to see this.

On the other hand....Wet, shirtless Jake? SIGN ME UP.

Ooooh. Thank you for the Josh Holloway. Thank you.

Posted by: figgy at July 29, 2009 1:14 PM

I don't know, lumenatrix...did you see those pictures of her from the set? She seriously had the tiniest fucking waist I have ever seen in my life. It looked terrifying. And that wasn't no photoshop.

Posted by: figgy at July 29, 2009 1:19 PM

Nothing like getting hit on over the internet while you're still in your pajamas featuring shirtless cowboys. Thanks for the offer, Kballs.

lumenatrix, yeah, I've read books detailing the kind of damage corsets did to lady-folk back in the day. And figgy's right, there was at least one photo from the set of the movie that showcased a whip-thin waist on Ms.Fox, which is what got me wondering. Bleh. Remind me never to complain about not having a perfect 24 inch waist again.

Posted by: Genny (actually Rusty now) at July 29, 2009 1:35 PM

Oh, yeah, no, she's cinched, don't get me wrong, she is tiny in person, I'm sure. You can still take your waist in pretty small, especially if you already have zero body fat. If they pad your boobs it makes your waist look even smaller, which I'm sure they're doing on set as well.

The poster above, though is insane. It looks like she has a 10"-12" waist there. Even Scarlett O'Hara could only get down to 15". I have a feeling they also made her bust bigger and her hips narrower in the picture, which throws the proportion off even more.

Posted by: lumenatrix at July 29, 2009 1:39 PM

lumenatrix,
Seriously, look up the photos from the set released a few months back. I actually think her waist looked smaller in real life than in that poster. It's Funhouse Mirror ridiculous. Ludicrous, even.

Posted by: Kballs at July 29, 2009 1:49 PM

That RDJ pic needs just a hint of denim and leather for it to be 100% George Michael-ey.

Who am I kidding?
Well, I guess it would be nice... If I could touch your body...

Posted by: Sofía at July 29, 2009 2:03 PM

I'm going to agree with Kballs and say that in real life her waist looked smaller than it does in the poster. I think that for the poster they had to use Photoshop to expand her waist.

Posted by: Snath at July 29, 2009 2:20 PM

Danica McKellar is posed like some little Lolita so that pedobears...
That picture of Danika makes me feel slightly dirty

Y'all do know that Danica is 34, right? Older than most of you folks, I'd imagine.

Posted by: Rykker at July 29, 2009 2:58 PM

is it just me, or does RDJ look a little like Evil Hasselhoff?

*indignant squeal*

HE DOES NOT!! You take that back!

Posted by: Lauren at July 29, 2009 3:14 PM

Y'all do know that Danica is 34, right? Older than most of you folks, I'd imagine.

Yep, but that photo does not look recent to me.

Posted by: ed newman at July 29, 2009 4:13 PM

For the love o' Godtopus, Rykker... it was meant to be funny. Y'know. Maybe you don't.
More likely, I don't. I'm not a terribly "funny" kinda guy. The deal is, she once played "Winnie Cooper" and...never mind.
It was meant to amuse.
That is all.

Posted by: Spender at July 29, 2009 4:30 PM

I checked out the pics from the set. It looks like the corset is pulled really tight at the very center of her waist and gets really loose at the ribs and hips. Common if you need your actress to actually be able to move in any way. In every shot I saw she had this half-skirt thing over her hips, so it was kind of hard to see what she really had going on hip:waist wise. But yes, she is very tiny. from how it looked to me, though, the poster still has a much narrower ribcage and hip. the live pics were a more severe wasp-waist. I could be totally wrong, though.

Anyway, long story short, girl is tiny. Corsets mess up your insides.

Posted by: lumenatrix at July 29, 2009 4:44 PM

Can I poll the menz on here for just a second? Is Megan Fox's waistline up there actually alluring or is it troubling in a "but where did her organs go?" kind of way?
Posted by: Genny (actually Rusty now) at July 29, 2009 12:11 PM

Wanna see troubling? Here.

I'm one of the few defenders of Fox on this site. Not for her acting, god no, but for her looks. I would not push her out of the bed in the morning. Plus, there is nothing wrong with a tiny lady. Me likes the tiny ladies.

That aside, I still can't wait to see The Expendables. I like crap action films as much as the next guy. And whoever said something about groomed facial hair like that with RDJ, I agree. There is something wrong when it takes you twenty minutes to fix your facial hair.

Posted by: Deistbrawler at July 29, 2009 5:38 PM

My ovaries emitting sympathy pangs just looking at the creeptastic photo, Deist.

Posted by: Leigh at July 29, 2009 7:32 PM

Deist, I clearly have nothing wrong with tiny ladies as I am one. A quick internet search would indicate that I'm the same approximate height and weight as Megan Fox. That's what troubles me, because the only way I could get my waist THAT small is if I had the top of my hip bones chopped off, about four ribs (two on each side) removed, or something going drastically wrong with my large intestines, small intestines, kidneys and stomach.

Then again, maybe Ms.Fox is slightly less leggy than me, which would me she'd have more than 2 inches between her hips and rib cage which makes it slightly more possible. Not a lot, but slightly. It's still worrisome. And that photo is horrifying.

Posted by: Genny (actually Rusty now) at July 29, 2009 10:42 PM

I think it's just good posture.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at July 29, 2009 10:56 PM

That Avatar poster needs to show more of Sam Worthington's gorgeous face. And body. Preferably minus clothing and glitter.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at July 29, 2009 11:25 PM

Genny (actually Rusty now)

That you are...not that I was looking at your Facebook pics...what? Wait...I'll be in my bunk.

Posted by: Deistbrawler at July 30, 2009 3:40 AM





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