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I'll Do It Again, I Will Let You Take Me For A Ride: Sequel News

By Jodi Clager | Trade News | December 11, 2012 | Comments ()


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Perhaps you can figure out from the header that Salt 2 is in the works. The first Salt was terrible for many reasons, not the least of which was Jolie's inability to make me believe she could whip anyone's ass in a fight. The first draft of Salt 2 was apparently so bad that Jolie passed on it. She didn't pass on the first movie, but that draft for the second one was horrible? Wow. Now Becky Johnston (Seven Years In Tibet) is working on her own draft. Pass.

Maybe you knew that there would be a Transformers 4 but you chose to wipe the knowledge from your brain with Liz and Dick or one of those brain-eating amoebas. Alas, the robots in disguise are back again and they have Mark Wahlberg attached as their human liaison or friend or something. Michael "Boom Boom" Bay has now added Nicola Peltz (The Last Airbender) as Wahlberg's daughter. Brenton Thwaites (Blue Lagoon: The Awakening, Home And Away) will be the bad boyfriend. You know what would make this even better? Wahlberg playing another teacher! He's so good at it!

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The Amazing Spider-Man 2 already has a villain, a Mary Jane, a Harry Osborn, and the two returning leads. Now we find out that Uncle Ben will make an appearance in the sequel. I need Martin Sheen to appear in the movie like Robert Pattinson did in New Moon: a weird, ghostly vapor that warns the protagonist not to do anything crazy and only appears when there is danger. If they have Uncle Ben revealing his pasty chest to a crowd of hooded extras, well, all the better!

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Finally, in not-really-a-sequel-but-it-could-have-been-news, Matt Damon initially approached Jonah Nolan, brother and writing partner of Christopher, to make the Bourne Franchise keep rolling along. Damon hoped that Nolan could find some angle to keep his version of Bourne going after everything was seemingly wrapped up in The Bourne Ultimatum. If Nolan couldn't find a twist to make it interesting, maybe just let go.


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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • Groundloop

    YO! AWPTIMUS!! YA GOTTA GET OUTTA MY FACKIN' YAHD!! TAWMMY AND DUMB PAULIE ARE COMIN' OVAH TO WATCH DA FACKIN SAWX!! AN' TAKE BUMBLEBEE WITCHA! HE DID A NUMBAH ON JACKIES ROSE BUSHES AN SHE'S GONNA HAVE MY FACKIN' BAWLS!!

  • Mitchell Hundred

    How many brothers does Christopher Nolan have? Because I remember hearing that he brought that other one in to help him write some of the Batman movies.

  • Pookie

    Fuck you Matt Damon, I thought you were too good to play Bourne. I guess that king size nut you have to pay every month is catching up with you. Don’t worry though, you can always make another movie about you buying a zoo since the first one did so well at the box office.

  • Miss Laaw-yuhr

    Damn it, I thought you were going to talk about the Wanted sequel, which is the sort of nonsense I will definitely see. Maybe even with a double header of After Earth.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Salt was spectacularly bad, but as much as Jolie's near transparency made her an unconvincing action hero, the script deserves the lionshare of the blame.

  • How are we not all typing Trans4mers? It's the one time it actually works.

  • Uriah_Creep

    Somewhere in Hollywood, a movie executive is doing a facepalm upon reading this.

  • The Other Agent Johnson

    I... I actually kind of enjoyed Salt. Liev Schrieber! Chiwetel Ejiofor! A truly impressive neck-breaking scene! I thought it was fun, with a little bit of Cold War crazy tossed in. I'd check out a sequel.

    Yes, Jolie was physically not very believable. But she acted pretty well in it, so yeah. I can't be the only one that dug it, can I?

    Hello?

    Anyone?

    (shivers)

  • Slash

    I liked it OK. I agree that Jolie was far too thin. But the rest was enjoyable enough. Well, "enjoyable" in the sense that seeing her go rogue (or double rogue? whatever) on all her comrades was pretty badass, esp. the bottle to the jugular part. And Schreiber is always compelling.

    The movie clearly ended in a sequel-friendly fashion. If we have to have more than one Transformers movie, I don't see why we can't have a sequel to "Salt."

    Look at it this way: even crummy movies employ people. So they're not completely worthless.

  • ,

    Rogue Double Chocolate Stout for me.

  • NateMan

    I enjoyed it. I thought it was a nice twist to have the 'woman betrayed and framed' to actually be guilty of what everyone thought she was guilty of.

  • TherecanbeonlyoneAdmin

    Transformers 4: Marky Mark and the Clunky Bunch.

  • Natallica

    Just when he made me love him on "Ted", he chooses to do this travesty. Damn it, Wahlberg, you're making it so hard!

  • NateMan

    "Damn it, Wahlberg, you're making it so hard!"

    Said 50% of the gay male population of the United States.

  • Natallica

    I was going to write "difficult", but even I thought "Wahlberg" was better paired with "hard"

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