If You Had to Watch One of these 12 Films, Which Would You Choose Based Only on the Movie Poster?
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If You Had to Watch One of these 12 Films, Which Would You Choose Based Only on the Movie Poster?

By Dustin Rowles | Trade News | February 12, 2013 | Comments ()

What's going on with movie posters? This feature used to be a lot more fun back when movie poster designers seemed more interested in actually doing what a poster is designed to do, which is to say: Attract enough attention to motivate lookers to find out more about the movies being advertised. We used to run this feature every couple of weeks, but I don't think we've ran this since last November, and there is still a dearth of decent movie posters. But, if you had to choose movie based only on the winning movie poster design, which would it be?

And for making you suffer through 12 bad movie posters, I'll at least include a cool photo of the Dixon boys and Hines Ward from the set of "The Walking Dead" at the bottom of the post.













Happy Fat Tuesday, My Little Babe-raham Lincolns | 5 Shows After Dark 2/12/13

Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • Buck Forty

    As I was scrolling down my iPad I thought the arrow icon on The Internship was pointing to where they'd photoshopped Owen Wilson to make him slimmer. (I thought you'd taken a screen grab off a photoshop fail site, y'see)
    And Burt Wonderstone is one of those movies where actors get the chance to get a little 'work done' all in the name of the role they're playing, right? Oh how they suffer for their craft! (I'll definitely be seeing this movie).

  • Iron Man 3 or Internship.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    I'm giving it to Brass Teapot because WTF, poster people? Were you late for lunch or something? Jesus, your poster is so bad I want to see the movie just to make it feel better about how you've abused it, probably undeservedly. Because that's the kind of bad nobody deserves.

    Well. Adam Sandler deserves it.

  • Lovezoid

    Iron Man 3 is the only one that says anything to me about what I'm actually going into, and I'm excited by it. Even if I didn't know anything about Iron Man I'd be intrigued.

    There's others I'd want to see but only based on name/filmmaker recognition, not the actual imagery.

    The Burt Wonderstone one - is that really Carrell, Buscemi and Carrey?!!! Damn near unrecognisable.

  • 'Iron Man 3'. Either that or 'Olympus Has Fallen.'

  • If I hadn't seen that "The Brass Teapot" featured Michael Angarano, I would have been left wondering, "Why is Adam Sandler wearing such a horrible hairpiece while standing on that car?"
    Also, that poor guy on "42" is falling off a very sandy cliff.

  • Bdog

    The last one

  • sara h.

    trance, iron man and snowpiercer...

  • Lyn

    "In a game divided by color, he made us see greatness" is a really bad tagline. But I'm surprised it took this long to make a Jackie Robinson movie.

    Snowpiercer! Can't get past the title.

  • Frank Booth

    Will be a great double bill with Cobb ....

  • BlackRabbit

    Yeah, I'm afraid that will hurt it somewhat. It's a clunky kinda name.

  • jthomas666

    What's the over/under on how many seizures are caused by that Trance poster. Damn.

  • trance!

  • sean

    Iron Man 3. Even though every trailer so far has sucked. I already saw the Playroom.

  • mats19

    Why are people getting paid to do such shitty photoshop jobs...

    I wanted to see the Brass Teapot but that poster fails all logic on how two people could interact with one another atop a car hood.

  • hippyherb

    A place beyond the pines
    Dark Skies

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I like the look of the 42 poster, though I'm not likely to see it in theaters because... baseball.

    The tagline for Olympus has me cringing.

  • Kballs


    Or "The Place Beyond the Penis" because that is a wild name for a mov---what's that? Oh, PINES. Well now it just sounds stupid.

  • MissAmynae

    Trance, 42, and Snowpiercer by the posters.

    The Playroom had me at Molly Parker.

  • ZyGGy

    Um The Playroom because John Hawkes is right there. Hello John Hawkes.

  • gforcetwo

    The Incredible Burt Wonderstone, obviously. I mean, it is abracatastic. C'mon!

  • Samantha Klein

    Iron Man 3 and Olympus has fallen. Maybe Trance? Maaaaaybe The Playroom if I'm feeling particularly pretentious that day?

  • headmonkeys

    The Playroom, but only because Hawkes and Parker feature prominently.

  • Bert_McGurt

    Jesus Murphy, we need another Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson movie? Aren't they about 20 years too old to conceivably be "interning"?

    Other than that I'm definitely on board with whatever Hawkes and Parker are selling. Is it orgies? It looks like orgies. Ain't no "dead wood" in this flick, folks!

    And The Brass Teapot has me intrigued, but then again sexy ladies sprawled on a car hood tend to have that effect.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Aren't they about 20 years too old to conceivably be "interning"?

    I'm pretty sure that's the plot.

  • Bert_McGurt

    Ewww. I guess I unconsciously assumed that was too thin to base a whole movie on. Course, that's never stopped them before.

  • Natallica

    Why is everyone in The Playroom poster so smug? Weren't the 70's supposed to be fun, with all those drugs and stuff?

  • Basement Boy

    ... and I don't recall The Ice Storm exactly being a laff-riot.

  • jt

    Trance. It's a kick-ass poster and includes the following words: Trainspotting, Slumdog, Boyle, McAvoy, Cassel.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    my sentiments exactly.

  • googergieger


    Guy behind The Host, Memories of Murder, Mother, etc? You guys need to get better with the movies.

  • Rocabarra

    I kinda wish the Burt Wonderstone movie starred Steve Zahn instead of Jim Carrey just so that the poster could say "Starring STEVE" and they'd pretty much have the spectrum of comedic Steves covered.

  • Bert_McGurt

    It's a Steve-omedy!

  • lowercase_ryan

    Trance - cause I already know what it is and who's involved.

    The Place Beyond The Pines - cause I miss Twin Peaks and Baby Goose y'all

    And Snowpiercer - cause it looks like post-apocalyptic sci-fi, and I loves me some post-apocalyptic sci-fi. Seriously, can we just get on with the apocalypse already so we can get to the good stuff. Wandering and scavenging, exploring the world, banding together with a bunch of savages, being a hero and shit. And you know, not having a job.

  • toblerone

    None by these by these posters. Terrible all around.

  • TheReinaG

    None. I would see zero of these movies based on these posters. Not one. I wouldn't even take the two minutes out of my day to watch a trailer for one of these movies. Except some have casts I may let sell me things, but all of these posters are god awful.

  • mswas

    Oh I so hope the Croods don't evolve

  • Ben

    It's being done by Chris Sanders, the guy behind How to tame your dragon and Lilo and Stitch? What are you dead inside?

  • FrayedMachine

    Do no professional poster designers study ... design anymore? These posters are all pretty horrible. The only one that looks remotely interesting and intriguing is Snowpiercer but even then I'm forcing myself to be incredibly incredibly open minded. Eugh. Even the Iron Man poster could use some work. ... And by some work I do mean a ton of work.

  • Let's not put this on the designers.

    I'm sure that somewhere, hidden deep within their computer's archives, are some awesome designs for these.

    And then the studio cames in and tells you exactly. what. to. design. to. the. degree. of. the. character. face. angle.

  • FrayedMachine

    I'll admit that I don't know how poster designing work and am just inferring from my own personal experience with freelance work. I can get that studios/commissioners/whatever can suck balls because haha wtf. But the quality of these posters are also pretty low. Like painfully low. Like I do not understand how and why so many posters are so blatantly low quality photoshopped now. It's honestly like no one's trying anymore.

  • I'm sure the studio has a billion data points and analytics to pick exactly which color makes viewers want to buy a ticket, what angle to put Gerard Butler's face at to make him look MOST whimsical, etc. etc. It's nitpicky and micromanaging, but it's not design anymore.

  • Lovezoid

    I think this illustrates your point perfectly:


  • ghisent

    Jumpin' mackerel. John Hawkes and Molly Parker? I don't even care what the movie is, I'm already sold. So yeah, that one.

    And then a three way tie between Iron Man, Snowpiercer, and 42.

  • Rocabarra

    Ditto that! John Hawkes is amazing in everything he does, and putting Alma and Sol together in a movie means I don't care what it's about, just shut up and take my money already.

  • Uriah_Creep

    Speaking of John Hawkes, I just saw The Sessions, and while I have no real problem with Helen Hunt being nominated for an Oscar, I find it reprehensible (reprehensible, I say!) that John was not nominated for Best Actor. I haven't been that touched by a performance in many months, and he was the movie. I would take Denzel Washington's nomination (he's done much better work) and give it to my man John. In my book, he wins.

  • Ironman, but that comes pre-loaded because it's a sequel. Still, I like the bits flying off and him falling. That's worth checking out.

    42, for the angle of the thing, and because I already know what it's about and the story interests me.

    Based on posters alone, it's pretty much a total fail.

  • Jezzer

    I would have liked the poster better if he wasn't making the Unflattering Beyonce Face on it.

  • emmelemm

    Snowpiercer, but only because I can just barely squint and see that it says "the director of The Host and Mother". I hope that's the Korean The Host and not the Stephanie Meyers thing.

  • Ted Zancha

    They all just look so terrible.

    I wanted to jump on Trance because its Boyle, McAvoy, and Dawson. But it hurts my eyes.

    And what the hell is the Croods?

  • Ben

    The croods is the new movie being done by Chris Sanders (The guy behind How to tame your dragon and Lilo and Stitch) About a family of cave-people that find a crazy new world. That poster is awful but the guys track record for great kids movies is pretty damm solid.

  • Jezzer

    "And what the hell is the Croods?"

    A real-time TK review, if there is a just God in the Heavens.

  • Wow...that gave me a headache

  • Fruity Fonzie

    Iron man and Trance

  • Sad Rockstar

    I really want to see The Place Beyond The Pines but they really shoulve used someone else besides Gosling. He looks like hes trying really hard to pull the part off and thats always just sucks to watch

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