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If They Hire Horatio Sanz to Play John Belushi, I'll Drown Myself in Pee

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (22)

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  • Steven Conrad (screenwriter, The Pursuit of Happyness) and Todd Phillips (director, The Hangover, Old School) are developing a John Belushi biopic. Phillips will produce, and may direct. That’s all we know about the project, other than it probably shouldn’t be made, and I can’t think of anyone that suits the role, and they’ll probably end up getting Seth Rogen to put the weight back on, or ohgodohgod Kevin James to grow a beard or Dan Fogler, oh Jesus goddamn, what’s wrong with humanity? (THR)

  • EW is reporting that NBC has reached out to Danny McBride of “Eastbound & Down” and Rhys Darby of “Flight of the Conchords,” as potential cast members for “The Office,” ahead of Steve Carell’s departure. (EW)

  • Whatever happened to Robbie Fox, the screenwriter for the cult comedy, So I Married an Axe Murderer? (Remember when Mike Myers was funny?) Fox has mostly disappeared, save for penning the story for In the Army Now, the 1994 Pauly Shore comedy (Remember when Pauly Shore was funny? No. You don’t. Because he never was). Anyway, Fox is back now with Slide, a screenplay about a father with a troubled past who comes in to coach his son’s Little League baseball team. It sounds spectacularly lame, so it’s only appropriate that Gerard Butler has signed on, and it’s being converted into a soccer movie. You know, because Butler is Irish. Dude. DUDE. Stick to B-action flicks, man. No one wants to see you in family or romantic comedy roles. No one. (L.A. Times)

  • Gawker uncovered a 1999 episode of MTV’s “Undressed,” featuring Christina Hendricks, and man alive, she was so young and cute and … wow, that was a really bad show.

  • Anyone ever heard of the graphic novel, Last Man Standing? Paramount has secured the rights to make it into a film. (Slashfilm)

  • Jason Reitman and Diablo Cody are reteaming for Young Adult, described by Cody as a movie about a woman “stalking her high-school sweetheart [that] has elements of humor, but it’s pretty serious and fucked up,” The Playlist has picked up on a rumor that Josh Brolin may be joining Charlize Theron in the cast. (The Playlist)

  • Finally, AMC has picked up its 5th series, “The Killing.” Set in Seattle, the series is based on the successful Danish television series “Forbrydelsen” and tells the story of the murder of a young girl and the subsequent police investigation. Let’s just hope it’s more compelling than “Rubicon.”









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    Comments

    You know, you're not doing much to assuage my gradually rising rage today, Dustin.

    Posted by: admin at August 12, 2010 11:07 AM

    • That clip also had the guy who played Scott Hope on Buffy.

    I know a girl who looks an awful lot like the young Christina Hendricks. Big rack and all.

    Posted by: Uda at August 12, 2010 11:15 AM

    Anyone ever heard of the graphic novel, Last Man Standing?

    I have it on preorder from Heavy Metal but it got delayed by two months. The artist's deviantart page can be found here.

    http://adonihs.deviantart.com/

    Lots of retro-80's hot chick eye candy.

    Posted by: twig at August 12, 2010 11:16 AM

    I wonder what's different about Slashfilm's implementation of You Might Also Like: that makes it work as it should?
    It's difficult to phrase that question without sounding snarky, which is not my intent, by the way, so please don't take it as such.

    Posted by: Rykker at August 12, 2010 11:17 AM

    Artie Lange as Belushi? The man is doing everything in his power to live Belushi's life.

    Posted by: Mrcreosote at August 12, 2010 11:21 AM

    I need clarification, to wit -

    When I saw the title of this post I wondered, "Does Dustin mean that in a good way (as in "My joysome frolicking will be such that I will lose control of my bladder and not care! Such is my joy!") or in a bad way (as in "I won't be able to abide the hellish afterscape of this misguided casting and will pee all over myself as evidence of my scorn and derision! That'll show 'em!)?

    Help!

    Posted by: Mrs. Julien at August 12, 2010 11:25 AM

    Also: Whose pee?

    I need answers.

    Posted by: Mrs. Julien at August 12, 2010 11:27 AM

    "Couch," my ass. Motherfucker, you go back to the bus station.

    Posted by: Tracer Bullet at August 12, 2010 11:29 AM

    Artie Lange as Belushi?

    By Crikey, I think you've got it.

    Posted by: Rykker at August 12, 2010 11:30 AM

    I might bite on LMS, but the description after the jump looked like a jumbled mess of too many cliches. Can anyone comment on a direct reading?

    I think sometimes people forget that adapting a multi-volume comic book into a 150 minute movie can quickly turn into an exercise in underdevelopment, plotholes, and lack of characterization.

    On a side note, this year at Faber's "Hendricksian Tittyological Astrophysics" program, we will be introducing a new course:

    Angular Boobmentum 195: A frame-by-frame dissection of how Christina Hendrick's funfunfunbags can enter a room 10 minutes before the rest of her body, yet grativitational forces are not strong enough to pull them off her chest. Further topics include a statitical analysis of boobie bounciness versus the rotation speed of neutron stars.

    Prereqs include Expansion Theory 173: Will Heidi Montag, and at what point, explode? Should or laissez-faire cultural attitude gloss over possible fallout implications? As well as Uncertainty Principle 115: In the age of instant digital information, how do we differentiate between who's hot or not? Expected lab materials include your own spy kit, telephoto lens, and a collage of flattering AND unflattering pictures of Kirsten Dunst and/or Cameron Diaz.

    Posted by: Professor D-Day at August 12, 2010 11:49 AM

    I loved "Undressed." It told me of what a great and wonderful world of sex college was going to be when I finally got the fuck out of high school.

    Goddamn liars.

    Assholes.

    Posted by: DeistBrawler at August 12, 2010 12:04 PM

    Sounds like we went to the same college, DB.
    Not that that's really a high-five kinda thing, given our particular lamentation.

    Posted by: Rykker at August 12, 2010 12:38 PM

    I never heard of undressed. That was so awful I think I'd rather drown myself in Horatio Sanz's pee. Was that the actual music on the show? I hope whoever created that show dies a slow horrible death just for making me realize that MTV's programming was even WORSE 10 years ago.

    Posted by: Paul at August 12, 2010 1:15 PM

    So I Married an Axe Murderer? (Remember when Mike Myers was funny?)

    I liked Myers back then but honestly, Scottish father aside, the best part of that movie is all the cameos. It's really just a string of funny cameos held together by the forgettable plot advancing scenes.

    Posted by: Cassidy at August 12, 2010 1:30 PM

    Butler's Scottish, though that doesn't change the prognosis for the movie.

    Posted by: Verbs at August 12, 2010 1:51 PM

    R-Patzz needs to pack on the pounds and he'll look EXACTLY like Belushi.

    You know it's true.

    Posted by: Sofía at August 12, 2010 3:27 PM

    Ugh. And some truths can't be unthought.

    Posted by: Rykker at August 12, 2010 3:49 PM

    Well Dustin, it's an intersting way to ask for a golden shower but we don't even know you like that.

    Posted by: greer at August 12, 2010 6:45 PM

    Please no Horatio, I'll jump into the toilet with Dustin

    Posted by: Mrs. Admin at August 12, 2010 6:46 PM

    Thankfully, Horatio has lost too much weight to play Belushi.

    Posted by: Snrub at August 13, 2010 4:59 AM

    Butler is Scotish, not that it would matter
    to a JEALOUS idiot like yourself, Dustin.
    Why do you think it is that we hear bad
    remarks about this incredible actor only from
    JEALOUS MEN?
    You don't have anyone fooled. The movie going
    public decide for themselves. Oh, and by the
    way, did you get the news today? Butler just
    surpased two BILLION dollars in ticket sales
    world wide from his "b-movies." How silly does
    that make you feel, or should I say, how stupid?

    Posted by: Sandy at August 13, 2010 7:12 PM

    I don't think I've seen this described in such a way before. You actually have clarified this for me. Thanks!

    Posted by: Alvera Bayton at December 14, 2010 10:59 PM