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July 15, 2008 |

By Daniel Carlson | Industry | July 15, 2008 |

Look, I like video games as much as the next guy, I really do. I could go old school and talk about the “Contra” code. I could go slightly less old school and talk about the blood activation code for “Mortal Kombat” on the Sega Genesis. Remember how you had to switch your controller to Port 2 on “Metal Gear Solid” for the PlayStation so you could more easily beat Mantis? Come on, that was great. I played “KOTOR” and went Dark Side without even thinking. I’m still leveling up my weapons on the “CoD 4” multiplayer.

But for the love of all that is holy, I’m tired of movies based on games. They’re never ever good. Ever. Never ever ever. But that doesn’t deter the studios, as evidenced by this week’s news that Warner Bros. is making a feature from Capcom’s Lost Planet. There will, inexplicably, be a screenwriter for the project, despite the fact that Warners could probably just cull scenes from Doom and mix them around to get the same effect. David Hayter, who penned Zack Snyder’s upcoming Watchmen, will write the screenplay. The game is a third-person shooter that deals with an ice planet, energy, and the fate of mankind, and it will probably be a pretty shitty movie.

I’ve seen Richard Linklater’s School of Rock several times, but I’m still somehow on the fence about it. It’s a nice movie, but it’s also surreal to see Jack Black so restrained and clean and almost inspirational. But it mostly worked the first time around, which is why a sequel is in the works. Paramount’s School of Rock 2: America Rocks will be written by Mike White, who wrote the original, and it will also reunite Black and Linklater. The new film will follow Black’s character as he leads a group of summer school students (two of whom will hopefully be named Chainsaw and Dave) across the country on a road trip exploring the history of rock and other genres. I really hope they let Black fly on this one. I miss Barry Jive and the Uptown Five.

Holy shit, the Weinstein Co.’s Dimension Films might want to resurrect the Scream franchise with Scream 4. I don’t even want to write about that. Just … no.

My roommate and I are sitting on the couch right now, trying to find something to watch. For reasons I will never be able to explain, we keep finding our way back to MTV’s “Legally Blonde: The Search for the Next Elle Woods.” I’m ashamed of myself for even watching this, but more ashamed of the judges for sending my girl Lauren packing. What gives?

Anyway, one more business note: I fully plan on braving the sweaty insanity that is Comic-Con in San Diego on July 25 and 26, and would welcome the chance to be berated in person by any of the Eloquents. Email me: danielwcarlson (at) gmail (dot) com.

This morning’s trailer watch brings the latest clip for The Spirit. It’s longer, and wackier:

Ricky Gervais plus ghosts. What else do you need? Here’s Ghost Town:

Daniel Carlson is the managing editor of Pajiba and a low-level employee at a Hollywood industry magazine. You can visit his blog, Slowly Going Bald.

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