Pajiba

This totally sounds like the plot of a Terry Pratchett novel. A plucky, sarcastic hero just wants to make movies and money, but ends up saving the world. Hilarity ensues, and somehow we all finish the book a little wiser about our own world.

I used to be scared to death to **** at school back in elementary school because teachers would take their whole class on a bathroom break and if anyone was ****ting then the whole class would form a line and peek through the cracks in the door to see who's ****ting and then laugh at you and spread it around school. One time my class was in the bathroom and kids started to form that line and the kid in the ****ter stuck his dick (yes tiny) through the crack in the stall and started barking at us so we wouldn't go look at his face. needless to say, we never found out who was taking a **** at school that day.

it also sucked because the ****ing kids at my school would have like an internal clock that would go off if you left the room for too long to use the bathroom and then they would accuse you of taking a ****. so my trick was to sign out to go to the bathroom and then i would walk VERY VERY slowly out the door and stop and look around a little bit then VERY VERY slowly start heading towards the bathroom making sure that everyone saw how slow i was moving. then i would HAUL ASS to the bathroom and **** my brains out and wipe super fast then i would BOOK ASS back to the room and right before getting to the door way i had to walk REALLY REALLY slow and stop at the door and look around again and slowly walk in and sign out my name because i knew everyones clocks were going off alerting them that i was probably taking a **** but once they saw that i was dilly dallying they would brush it off as someone just wasting time..... not taking a ****. rough times in elementary school i tell ya, but im still here today which means i survived it.

Also I used to do that too.

Well. This is an unexpected and sensible use of millions of dollars begotten through elite posey-posing, intoning and gesticulating. I can't hate on that at all. Ever. Well done.

I also kinda liked Dances With Wolves. I liked the Wolf.

Adventureman
You are a mystery wrapped in an enigma. Truly, sir, a poet laureate of Pajiba. ****ting stories touch the heart of every man, woman, and whatever the hell Skitz is. You speak to our very souls, and elicit stirring memories from the dusky past. Who among us has never has a ****ting at school/work/goat barn at the county fair/ story that we recall with shame and horror.
Your tale pierces to the bone.

Are you telling me that those fucking geekified douchebags that go to MIT couldn’t figure out how to clean up an oil spill but Kevin Costner could? The guy was already gettin’ grade A pussy, now he’s going to able to get Bono grade pussy.

Ok Nadine I really didn't want to go down this road. But if you think Cosner is getting better pussy than Bono you are crazy. Cosner is getting that birkenstock wearing, celery juice drinking, environmentalist, treehugger grade pussy. And Bono, shiiiiiiit, Bono gets that cannes, house of chanel grade pussy.