web counter
 

I Wanna Hold Your Braaaiiiiiinsss

By | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (55)

zombeatles.jpg

With the upcoming Pride and Prejudice and Zombies I think it’s safe to say that zombies are showing up everywhere. Horror, comedy, regency drama, and now a musical biopic of The Beatles. It’s based on a novel by Alan Goldsher called Paul Is Undead and it will chronicle the story of an undead John Lennon as he leaves Liverpool, kills and reanimates a band, and then takes them on tour of terror across Europe and the States. This might sound like a joke but the production team behind it has some credentials after working on Erin Brockovich and Pulp Fiction.

The film will supposedly also feature cameos by Mick Jagger as England’s greatest zombie slayer, Jesus Christ who admits they were bigger than him, and Yoko Ono as an Eighth Level Ninja Lord. I think we can expect her to literally break up the band. Now, if you think that pun is bad, you might want to look away now.

For the rest of you (maybe 3 or 4?), here is a list of five potential Zombie Beatles Hits.

1. “Help! (A Zombie Is Chasing Me)”
2. “All You Need Is Brains”
3. “It Came In Through the Bathroom Window”
4. “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band (Was Delicious)”
5. “Lucy in a Pie With Almonds”

What do you mean that was terrible? Oh come on now, I thought a couple were pretty clever. OK, OK, I have no shame. But don’t act like you’re not going to make up a few of your own in the comments.

(source: Deadline)









Each Time You Like, Share, Tweet or Stumble a Pajiba Post, An Angel Does the Paul Rudd Dance

← Meow! | True Blood's Sookie and Tara Catfight with a Side of Lafayette | Pajiba After Dark 5/12/10 →









Comments

Happiness is a warm gun.

Posted by: Blank at May 12, 2010 6:20 PM

Happiness is a warm gun. No modifications needed.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at May 12, 2010 6:37 PM

Damnit!!! Okay, the entire dead babies album.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at May 12, 2010 6:38 PM

"(Will You Still Feed on Me) When I'm 64?"

Posted by: sansho1 at May 12, 2010 6:38 PM

I'm sorry. Beatles covers are against my religion. I might just have to teabag* the shit** out of the producers.

*in the crazy protest sense

**see what I did there?

Posted by: esme at May 12, 2010 6:39 PM

I Wanna Hold Your Hand (While I Nom-nom Your Brains)

Posted by: frank (aka frank_247 aka the lone Scotsman) at May 12, 2010 6:43 PM

that was fab, frank

Posted by: mswas at May 12, 2010 6:48 PM

- Don't Suck Me Dry (as in Don't Pass Me By) - although I guess that's more vampires.

- Cry Baby, Cry doesn't really need any modification

- And I Killed Her

- Baby, You're a Dead Man

Fuck it, I suck at this. I just wanted to prove I know a lot of Beatles songs.

Posted by: dsbs at May 12, 2010 6:51 PM

Yeah, I was trying to do something with Maxwell's Silver Hammer, and realized that needs no modification either. DAMN! That's my favorite.

Norwegian Brains?
With a Little Help From My Friends' Brains?
A Day In The Death?

Posted by: Anna von Beaversmack at May 12, 2010 6:54 PM

Hey Jude, stop gnawing on my arm. Not cool dude.

Posted by: Ryan at May 12, 2010 6:57 PM

You've Got to Hide Your Brains Away
You're Going to Eat That Girl
Everybody's Trying to Eat My Baby
Please Feed Me
A Taste of Brains
Got to Get You into My Mouth

Posted by: Precious Lilywhite at May 12, 2010 7:05 PM

I Want You (She's So Tasty)

Posted by: Precious Lilywhite at May 12, 2010 7:08 PM

She's Dead She's Dead
I Wanna Eat Your Man
I Feel Fine (don't worry that red on my arm is just paint)

...okay I'll stop now

Posted by: Precious Lilywhite at May 12, 2010 7:15 PM

Back in the USSR (With Zombies)
Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Zombie
Eleanor Rigor-mortis
I Saw Her Standing There (Eating My Best Friend's Arm)
I Want To Hold Your Hand (And Eat It)
Run For Your Life...that one really speaks for itself
While My Zombie-Killing Shotgun Gently Weeps
You'll Be Mine (Specifically, Your Brains)

Posted by: stardust at May 12, 2010 7:22 PM

Eleanor Rigor-mortis is my favourite. Nice one.

Posted by: Precious Lilywhite at May 12, 2010 7:31 PM

Get Back (While I Shoot The Zombie In Front Of You)
Ob-La-Di Ob-La-D'OH I Got Bit By A Zombie!

Posted by: MM at May 12, 2010 7:36 PM

Here Comes The Sun (But That Only Stops Vampires, Not Zombies)

Posted by: MM at May 12, 2010 7:38 PM

Yesterday

Yesterday
You complained that someone bit your leg
Now I'm wishing I was Simon Pegg
And that was only yesterday

Suddenly
I just noticed that you're looking green
I think you might want to chew my spleen
Oh, you came at me suddenly

Why you tried to bite
Me, don't know; you didn't say
I grabbed my shotgun
And just blew your head away

Yesterday
Then, you didn't want to eat my brains
Zombiepocalypse is here to stay
Oh, how I long for yesterday

Posted by: Jelinas at May 12, 2010 7:41 PM

Jelinas...

*Pause*
*Begins slow clap*

Posted by: Blank at May 12, 2010 7:49 PM

Yesterday (all my friends were not Zombies)

Across The Zombie Universe

Twist Away and Shout for Help

I'm Looking Through Your Half Eaten Skull

Nowhere Man Ate My Brain


Ok There I run out of creativity...

Posted by: yocean at May 12, 2010 7:51 PM

{clap}


{clap}

for Jelinas...

Clearly I'm not very good at this, but I'm enjoying it more than I should.

(We All Live In A) Yellow Submarine (Because It's The Only Way To Escape the Zombies)

Posted by: MM at May 12, 2010 7:56 PM

Ate Brains All Week

Posted by: meaux at May 12, 2010 8:21 PM

Why Don't We Do It In The Road.

Wait, what are we talking about?

Posted by: superasente at May 12, 2010 8:29 PM

meaux: Fucking bra-vo.

Great job everybody!

Posted by: TylerDFC at May 12, 2010 8:41 PM

You've Got to Hide Your Brains Away

Here, There, and Everywhere (Oh GOOOOOD!!)

I Am the Zombus

I'm Looking Through You (the hole I shot..)

Let it Feed

Posted by: robotsdontscream at May 12, 2010 8:42 PM

And that's a slow clap right back at you, MM. O-blah-di, O-blah-D'OH is my fave because I picture The Simpsons singing it. :)

Posted by: Jelinas at May 12, 2010 9:05 PM

I am dead
as you are dead
as you are undead and we're all undead together.
See how zombies run like undead from a gun,
see how brains fly.
I'm crying.

Sitting on a mall roof, waiting for rescue to come.
Corporation virus, stupid bloody microbiologist.
You've been a naughty boy, you let your brain get munched.
I am a dead man, they are all dead men, I am a zombie!!
Goo goo ga BRRAAAAAIIINNNSSS

Posted by: Lindsay at May 12, 2010 9:52 PM

/shoots himself for finding this too late

Posted by: D-Day at May 12, 2010 10:49 PM

No, D-Day, show us whatcha got!!

Posted by: MM at May 12, 2010 11:15 PM

Sgt. Pepper's Dead Hearts Club Band?

Eight Deaths a Week

Dead Prudence

Strawberry Brains Forever

Lucy in the Sky With Shotguns

She Loves Me (dead dead dead)

Yellow Deadmarine

Posted by: figgy at May 12, 2010 11:53 PM

Dead Tripper

Lady Madeada

You've Got to Hide Your Dead Away

MrFig suggests:

Hard Dead's Night
All You Need is Brains
Dead in the USSR
Come Together to Eat This Guy


Posted by: figgy at May 13, 2010 12:02 AM

It's almost all been done so far. What's left?

Juicy in the Sky With Diamonds?

The Continuing Story of Underworld Bill?

She's Got a Ticket To Bite?

Baby, You're A Lich Man?

Why Don't We Chew It In The Road?

--note; sorry if I ripped one off!

Posted by: D-Day at May 13, 2010 12:19 AM

While my catarrh gently seeps...

Posted by: Odnon at May 13, 2010 1:06 AM

Let it Zom-Be

Posted by: Odnon at May 13, 2010 1:08 AM

I Dug Up a Pony (and ate it)

Something (Is chewing on my arm. Oh my Go-)

Hey Jude, Be Afraid

Day Ripper of Flesh

Let it Be (Quick and Painless)

A Day in the Undead Life

I'll Eat a Walrus

Posted by: Kelli at May 13, 2010 1:14 AM

Oh fuck there goes my sleep now thanks!

O Bloody, O Blood-ah!
She Came in Through The Bathroom Window.
And I Ate Her.
Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Zombie.
I Feel Fi..aarrghhdhhthhdhh!
All My Liver.
Ticket to Rot.
A Hard Day's Blight.

/backs away from the keyboard..

Posted by: Odnon at May 13, 2010 1:26 AM

Let's just do Abbey Road from the top:

1. Come Together (To Fight Off the Zombie Hoards)
2. Something (Caused the Dead to Rise)
3. Maxwell's Silver Hammer (Might Come in Handy)
4. Oh! Darling (Not You Too!)
5. Octopus's Garden (Would Be a Nice Place to Hide, Except that it's Underwater and Zombies Don't Have to Breathe)
6. I Want You (To Shoot Me If I'm Bitten)
7. Here Comes the Sun (And Holy Shit I Can See a Shitload of Zombies)
8. Because (God Hates Us)
And the medley!
9. You Never Give Me Your Money (So I Won't Hesitate if You Get Bitten)
10. (Even The) Sun King (Can't Save Us Now)
11. Mean Mr. Mustard (Is a Fucking Zombie! Aim For His Head!)
12. Polythene Pam (Is, Like Mean Mr. Mustard, also a Fucking Zombie and Therefore Must Be Stopped!)
13. She Came In Through the Bathroom Window (And Now We're Trapped!)
14. Golden Slumbers (Will Take Me Before I Am Risen as the Walking Dead)
15. (Don't) Carry That Weight (He's Going to Wake Up and Eat You!)
16. The End (Of Humanity)
Bonus: 17. Her Majesty (Was a Zombie Already, So This Really Isn't That Surprising)

It'll be remembered as probably the most popular Dead Beatles album, but most undead rock critics will rank it lower than Sgt. Pepper's or Revolver.

Posted by: ChristianH at May 13, 2010 1:36 AM

4. Oh! Darling (Not You Too!)

Hee! Love it.

Posted by: MM at May 13, 2010 2:01 AM

* Unlurks*
While My Brain Stem Gently Bleeds
You're Gonna Lose That Brain
Another Ghoul
I've Just Had A Face
The Long & Winding Intestine
Maniacal Mystery Tour
The Ghoul On The Hill
All You Need Is Spleen
Date Ripper
The Ballad Of Eating Yoko
I'm Only Feeding
If I Needed Some Lung

Etc.

* Returns to lurking*

Posted by: Uriah Creep at May 13, 2010 4:48 AM

crying crying laughing sobbing

*headdesk*

Posted by: dammitjanet at May 13, 2010 10:45 AM

A Taste of Honey (and damn is she tasty!)

A World without Lungs

Baby, It's You (I wanna have for breakfast)

Cayenne (will make you even tastier!)

Drive My Car (and get the hell out of Dodge!)

Hello Little Girl (why is there brain matter on your chin?)

Hey Dude, don't eat me now

I Saw Her Standing There (So I ran like hell)

Lovely Eata

Twist and Shout (if it helps you get away)


Posted by: dammitjanet at May 13, 2010 10:52 AM

Please Bleed Me
This Boy (Tasted funny, must've been a clown)
Thigh Baby Thigh
Hey Stewed!
Brain (I Don't Mind)
Take My Back
Don't Pass me Thigh
Her, Them, and Everyone
All My Clubbings
Chest it Is
The Tragical Hysterectomy Pour
I Feel Spine
Eye Swill
Hey, Barbecued Bill
I'll Eat Back
You Can't Stew That

Albums:
Eat the Beatles
The Bite Album
Scabby Road
Sgt., Peppered, Boned, with Hearts and Glands

I'm out!

Posted by: The Walrus at May 13, 2010 11:10 AM

Sgt., Peppered, Boned, with Hearts and Glands

Well it was 20 years ago today,
Sargent Pepper taught a band to flay,
They've been getting into necro-phile,
But there guaranteed to drink black bile,
So may I break loose on you,
The act you've known to carry rusty shears,
Sgt., Peppered, Boned, with Hearts and Glands!

Some threads need to put into a side-bar on the home page, so we can spend a good month chiming in with all the related thoughts that pop into our head while being as unproductive as possible during the day; this is clearly one of them.

Posted by: D-Day at May 13, 2010 12:02 PM

p.s. EE winner should get a copy of this book. Fierce competition Pajib'ers!

Posted by: D-Day at May 13, 2010 12:07 PM

"Yellow Shambling-teen"

Posted by: motoj at May 13, 2010 1:04 PM

Apologies to stardust at May 12, 2010 7:22 PM.
I didn't see your "Me and my Zombie" line there.

Posted by: Odnon at May 13, 2010 1:27 PM

Hey dude, don’t eat me now.
Take a second to try to remember.
Remember to eat her brain and her heart,
Then you can start to eat your neighbor.


Here I stand head in hand
munching my brother's brain
When he's gone I'll have to get
Another to eat again

Everywhere people stare
Each and every day
I can see them run from me
And I hear them say

Hey you’ve got to run to get away
Hey you’ve got to run to get away


Posted by: dammitjanet at May 13, 2010 1:52 PM

The Ballad Of Eating Yoko

This made me smile hard.

Also, I'll have you know I had Zombie George Harrison in my dreams last night. That picture is terrifying.

Posted by: ChristianH at May 13, 2010 3:04 PM

@Uriah Creep
Good grief, "Date Ripper" and "I've Just had a face" = WIN.

Posted by: alwyx at May 13, 2010 5:00 PM

It occurs to me that some of these sound like dirty, zombified versions of Sufjan Stevens song titles.

Posted by: ChristianH at May 13, 2010 7:05 PM

More like Sufjan Eatens!

There are so many winners here. The name "Uriah Creep" itself = win.

Posted by: D-Day at May 13, 2010 8:42 PM

If you put "Military" and "flirting" together. You will get a place to meet military singles and admirers in the world! Are you a civilian looking to meet someone in the military? Are you serving in the military? You've come to the right place! We bring together single members of the Army, Navy, Marines, Air Force, Coast Guard, Police Force, and Firefighters -- as well as civilians, veterans. Over the years, we have achieved tremendous success in bringing military singles and admirers together.

Posted by: lily at May 13, 2010 10:01 PM

Yellow Submarine becomes Code Red Quarintine.
WE ALL LIVE IN A CODE RED QUARITINE

Posted by: Oscar at May 26, 2010 5:13 PM

Shes a Zombie
Zomggies
Within you Without your brain
Eat you too
The inner brain (is mine)
Lost in Paranoia (Los Paranoias)
Paperback zombie
A Hard days fight
Hello... Goodbye
Tomorrow already died

Posted by: SS at July 4, 2010 12:54 PM

Victim screaming in the dead of night!
Take these zombie legs and learn to run!
All your undeath
You were only waiting for this moment to have fun.

Victim screaming in the dead of night!
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see. (No modification needed.)
All your undeath
You were only waiting for this moment to eat me.

Brains, brains, brains.
Brains, brains, brains,
Brains brains brains brains brains brains brains brains brains!

Posted by: Chairman Meow at July 18, 2010 2:04 PM