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By Cindy Davis | Trade News | February 7, 2011 | Comments ()

Really, J.J.? Just how dumb do you think we are?

In his first interview to discuss the super-secret details of his upcoming film Super 8, the “fidgeting” and “conflicted” filmmaker pretended he was Snow White’s friends: Bashful and his lesser known cousin, Coy. It was surely a coincidence that this interview appeared in print the same day a new teaser aired during the Super Bowl.

Poor Abrams and his friend and producer Steven Spielberg, could only convince that teensy, little movie studio, Paramount Pictures to distribute the film and I suppose we should all be worried that it won’t make a penny. According to J.J., “…I feel we need a little bit of a coming-out party because we are up against massive franchises and brands and most people don’t know what ‘Super 8′ means. We’re a complete anomaly in a summer of huge films … and we don’t want to be so silent or coy that people don’t care or don’t hear about it.”

Yes, J.J. we are all a bunch of ignoramuses out here. We’ve never heard of you or “Lost” or Star Trek or “Alias” or “Fringe” or Cloverfield; never mind fancy movie camera film. We don’t know who this Spielberg guy is, so why do you even keep mentioning his name? And I mean, a science fiction movie in the middle of summer? That sounds so strange and technical — will we have to think a lot? I don’t know how you’ll get people into the theaters to watch your little film. What a risk taker you are!

For those of you too overcome by the thought of having to click on a link to read the whole interview and the big “secrets” revealed, here’s a summary: Super 8 is a story about a group of kids who want to make a zombie movie using their Super 8 camera (link included — for the stupid). While out filming, they witness a horrific train accident and… emerging from the wreckage, something inhuman. Super 8 is purported to have a bit of a Stand by Me, coming-of-age vibe, mixed with science fiction and special effects gobbledeegookery. The little filmmaker that could hopes we will manage to discover his quiet movie among the BIG SUMMER BLOCKBUSTERS.

“We have such a challenge on this movie,” Abrams said. “Yes we’ve got Steven’s name on it and my name on it — for what that’s worth — but we’ve got no famous super-hero, we’ve got no pre-existing franchise or sequel, it’s not starring anyone you’ve heard of before. There’s no book, there’s no toy, there’s no comic book. There’s nothing. I don’t have anything; I don’t even have a board game, that’s how bad it is. But I think we have a very good movie.”

For those of you who abstained from the Super Bowl or haven’t seen TK’s Trailer Round-up, here are two very understated Super 8 clips:

Super 8 stars Elle Fanning, Kyle Chandler and Amanda Michalka and it hits theaters June 10, 2011, but good luck finding that sucker.

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