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June 27, 2007 |

By Seth Freilich | Industry | June 27, 2007 |

Mother fuck. So last Monday, I guess Jimmy Fallon was on Howard Stern’s radio show (this info all comes to me second-hand from friend-of-Pajiba Manny, who is generally an untrustworthy rapscallion, so take it for what it’s worth). And while on the show, Fallon claimed that NBC was interested in him taking over the post-“Tonight Show” spot after Conan moves out in 2009 (insider opinion is that NBC may renege on its agreement to move him into “The Tonight Show” if Leno decides he wants to stay and that, should this happen, NBC will probably buy Conan out of his contract as he would be unlikely to want to stay with the two-timing NBC at that point). Worse yet, Fallon went on to claim that, while there’s obviously no exact date yet when they would want him to start, he’s signed a holding contract with the network. That is, he’s being paid to just sit and wait. Now paying Fallon not to do anything is just an act of public charity. But paying him to keep dibs on him? Well, as Manny put it to me: “Oh my god, my brain just threw up in my mouth.”

You know, every once in a while I regret that my ever-increasing old age, and the savage reality of holding down a regular-type job, rarely affords me the luxury of staying up late enough to watch Conan. And I just have too much other crap on my TiVo to add him into the regular rotation. So the one positive of this whole story is that, were it to come to fruition, those pangs of regret would be gone gone gone, as I would surely shed no tears over missing Fallon and his “cute” floppy hair and “charming” inability to hold a straight face. But just knowing that Fallon is hosting a show, even a show that I never catch glimpse of? Well that knowledge could, all on its own, force my body to revolt at a cellular level. And it could do the same for you. That’s right folks — if NBC gives Fallon a late-night show, the network very well may be giving you cancer.

Speaking of cancer, I told y’all that I thought Isiah Washington was an asshole who basically got what he deserved. Some of you begged to differ. Well check this out: Washington now says that T.R. Knight should’ve been fired way back when, because he had the gall to be offended when Washington used the word “faggot” even though Washington wasn’t directing the word to him in a direct and personal confrontation and, worse yet, Washington “was used” to help T.R. raise his profile so that he could get a raise from ABC. Oh, and when Isiah used the word again at the Golden Globes, well that was just the media’s fault, because a reporter asked about whether he used the slur (and, you know, there’s just no way he could’ve answered that question without using the slur again). Now, to be fair, some of you guys did bring me around a little on the point that ABC probably should’ve just fired him on the spot after the first or second incident, or told him he’d be let go as soon as the season was over. But that doesn’t change the fact that Washington is coming off as a grade-A prick in all this. And I realize he’s trying to defend himself and his reputation, which I have no problem with. But I gotta say that I probably felt better about the guy two weeks ago, before he started talking out. So for me, and I suspect for some others, his little defensive campaign seems to be backfiring. And it could get much worse when he shows up on “Larry King Live” over on CNN on July 2 (the same estimable journalist who will be interviewing the post-prison Celebutante-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named this very night). But I’ll have to read about Washington’s appearance the following day, because you couldn’t pay me enough to watch that Crypt Keeper’s god-awful show. (And as a footnote here, word came out yesterday that Washington is possibly talking with NBC about a show deal, although there’s also word that those talks have been put on hold - so, whatever.)

Turning from the hideously wrinkled and fugly Larry King, I suspect that most fans of “Heroes” will be pleased to know that David Anders has been brought on for the second season (and some gals might be extra happy — he’s kinda dreamy to some of you, no?). Anders is, of course, no stranger to mythology-based shows, having played baddie Julian Sark on “Alias.” For those who want zero spoilage whatsoever, move on outta here. For those who are left, Anders is slated to play Hiro’s, uhrm, hero, Takezo Kensei. It’s safe to assume this means we’ll meet Anders/Kensei while Hiro is on his feudal Japan trip, and I’m betting that Kensei either returns to the present with Hiro, or turns out to be relatively immortal and already living amongst us in the present. In any event, I was a big fan of his on “Alias,” dreaminess aside, so he’s a welcome addition.

And the boys get some new drool-material this fall as well, in the form of Paula Marshall. Marshall has signed on for a four episode stint on “Nip/Tuck,” where she’ll play Sean’s romantic interest. Who’s Marshall, you ask? Some of you will recognize her from “Veronica Mars,” where she dated V’s dad for a couple of episodes. Others may recognize her from “Cupid” or “Snoops.” But my crush on her comes from her turn on “Sports Night” as the eminently dateable porn star. In less exciting “Nip/Tuck” news, however, they’ve also signed Joely Richardson back on board for 15 of the season’s 22 episodes. This bums me out to no end — her character has felt particularly tired to me, and I was actually quite pleased to see her written off to NYC last year. Don’t get me wrong — on the real world front, I’m of course happy to know that Richardson’s family issues have been resolved to the point that she can return to the show. I just wish she would use her free time for a new acting endeavor somewhere other than on “Nip/Tuck.”

Oh yeah. Oliver Platt and Lauren Hutton are both slated for multi-episode guest arcs on “Nip/Tuck” as well. Five episodes for Platt, who’ll play a Hollywood producer, and at least three episodes for Hutton, who will be playing a publicist. I’m down with both of those casting moves, but only if “Nip/Tuck” manages to do something fun with its LA stuff, and doesn’t simply follow the fold of shows that have gone before it.

Great googly-moogly. This is nothing more than rumor and fluff right now, particularly because “The Thick of It” is still potentially in play with NBC and Showtime. But me likey this rumor, so I’m mentioning it anyway. What’s the rumor? That Patton Oswalt may get involved in some type of TV collaboration-type thinger with Mitch Hurwitz. That’s comedy genius mixing with comedy genius which is a recipe for, well, you get it. I would love to see “The Thick of It” land someplace, but if it doesn’t, a Hurwitz/Oswalt project sounds like a fine backup plan to me.

And speaking of rumors, the sixteenth (16!) run of “Survivor” may turn out to be, like the eighth season, an all-star edition. These rumors are running around all over the place, and most suggest that the all-stars will only be folks from seasons 9 through 15 (which is the upcoming fall season). While Jeff Probst hated the last all-star season, I think most fans of the show enjoyed it — I know that I personally hated the idea at first, but wound up quite enjoying the hell out of it. So if they cast it well, I think I’d be down for another one.

“Oh woe is me. Woe. Is. Me. I signed on for a reality show, I won the reality show, and now I’m about to open my own restaurant. So how dare those bastards at ‘Top Chef’ make me try to fulfill my contract by coming back for a Season One vs. Season Two episode. An episode for freaking charity, at that! I’m way to important to spend three days of my life doing such nonsense.” That’s the bitching, in a nutshell, that Season One winner Harold Dieterle recently did for the New York Post. He even consulted his lawyer, who told him he was locked up to doing the special (his contract said that he would remain available to producers through May of this year). But, of course, he says he remains grateful to “Top Chef.” Sounds like it, no?

And I end with this: if the impending Transformers is one-eighth as good as this, I’ll be shocked:

Seth Freilich is Pajiba’s television editor. He’s planning to invite Isiah Washington and Jimmy Fallon over for tea and crumpets this afternoon. The festivities will be catered by Chef Dieterle.

"I Suck So Long and Hard I Can't Even Stop Laughing Long Enough to Get Out the Title of This Pajiba Entry."

The Trade Round-Up / The TV Whore
June 27, 2007

Industry | June 27, 2007 |

Seth is a Senior Editor and sometime critic. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.

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