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December 18, 2007 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | December 18, 2007 |

After years (and years) of speculation, it looks like an A-Team feature is officially in the works. The crack commando unit will finally be hitting the big screen, and while casting speculation has been the only thing the prospect of the movie has been good for, no one has yet been attached. But, John Singleton, who officially has one good movie (Boyz N the Hood) and two Oscar noms to his name, but who hasn’t made anything decent in 16 years, is signed on to direct. And given the fact that The A-Team has someone who is now a second-rate director (did anyone see Four Brothers? Don’t you wish you hadn’t?), I suspect the ultimate cast will be similarly second-rate. Some are suggesting that Ice Cube may take the role of Mr. T (who is irreplaceable). But given the obviously limited budget, here’s my modest proposal to fill out the cast: Ryan Reynolds as Faceman; Sam Rockwell as Murdoch; Mos Def as Mr. T; and John Slattery as Hannibal. You can get all four for under $8 million, and leave plenty of money in the budget for the “modern twist” the movie is taking by incorporating oil tycoons and laser technology into the storyline.


Oh, and now they are Iraq War vets, rather than Vietnam vets. Jayson Rothwell, who wrote last year’s Jean-Claude Van Damme starrer, Second in Command, wrote the script. I didn’t even realize that Van Damme was still making movies. He had three last year, and one this year. Where are they being released?

I’m really not sure how Hancock slipped past our radar here, but aside from The Dark Knight, Will Smith’s next feature may be the coolest-looking movie in Summer 2008. In it, Peter Berg (Friday Night Lights, The Kingdom) directs Smith, who plays a drunk, homeless superhero who has a tendency to create a lot of collateral damage when saving the day. Jason Bateman plays his corporate PR exec, who takes his case after Hancock saves his life. Unfortunately, the exec’s wife (Charlize Theron) falls for Hancock, which creates … ah hell, you know what? There’s a teaser trailer out now; you can get the gist from it.

Pretty cool, huh? A Jason Bateman/Will Smith buddy comedy. I’m there.

Random: Hey Apatow — lay off the Walk Hard marketing already. You’re overselling the hell out of it. Did anyone else see the full-length football-themed Dewey Cox video on “Monday Night Football” last night? I was pretty excited about Walk Hard until about three weeks ago, when John C. Reilly started stalking me on my television. Give it a rest, Dewey — the expiration date on the biopic spoofery is nigh; I can recite the goddamn trailer by memory now.

Hey! They’re remaking Clash of the Titans. Stephen Norrington, the ingenious (sic, for Armando) behind The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen will be directing it. Man, it’s gonna suck — what an absolutely horrible idea. Nobody has been cast yet, but if the studio wants to save some cash on make-up and special effects, just get Sharon Stone to play Medusa. Just pull her straight out of bed and throw her on set, and see if Perseus doesn’t turn to stone.

Random: Is there still that one guy in every high-school English lit class who is just a little too obsessed with Greek mythology? Like, creepy obsessed? The one guy who owns the 1981 version of Titans and watches it every other weekend? Ah, who the hell am I kidding — all those guys read Pajiba now (and I suspect a couple write for us, too). Welcome. Please check back often; we’re the number one source on the net for Clash of the Titans casting news!

So, you’ve read here on these pages about our (my?) excitement for Bruce Campbell’s upcoming (probably straight-to-DVD) flick, My Name Is Bruce. The premise is rockin’: Bruce Campbell plays a down-on-his-luck, trailer-trashin’ version of himself, who is mistaken for his character, Ash, from the Evil Dead flicks and asked to basically save the world, only it turns out that Bruce Campbell is kind of a drunken coward, which means he’ll fall ass backwards into conquering evil. Stoked, right? Well, here’s the trailer, and I know this is gonna hurt the feelings of some of y’all Chin fans, and it kills me to say it, but: It looks like shit. The crappy production values and the D-level acting I can deal with — it’s part of Bruce Campbell’s charm. But the jokes, and Ted Raimi’s writing — E-Gads! — flatter than a horizontal Keira Knightley. I’m sorry, but I’m not optimistic.

And, finally, in today’s official trailer watch, I missed the first few seconds of The Dark Knight trailer attached to I Am Legend because my brain — which was retching gray matter — was still having some difficulty coming to terms with the trailer for Adam Sandler’s next film, You Don’t Mess with the Zohan, about a Israeli soldier who fakes his death so he can reemerge as a hair dresser in New York City. And here’s the saddest part: It’s co-written by Judd Apatow, who apparently ran out of decent jokes sometime around August.

Weep, motherfuckers, weep:

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The Daily Trade Round-Up / Dustin Rowles

Industry | December 18, 2007 |

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.

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