When I saw the headline, “John Cusack ponders disaster flick,” I was momentarily unable to figure out what it meant. Was Cusack watching a disaster movie and thinking about its emotional, cultural, or filmic repercussions? Or was he reflecting on movies he’s made like “America’s Sweethearts,” in which he does his best to torpedo every last shred of the goodwill we’ve been holding for him since the 1980s? The answer is less compelling and far more terrifying than either of those: Cusack is in talks to star in Roland Emmerich’s 2012 for Columbia as his next project. In an even whatthefuckier side note, Chiwetel Ejiofor is in talks to co-star. Apparently the lure of working with the man who helmed 10,000 BC is too hard to pass up. Cusack will play a part-time limo driver who takes a heroic journey to save his family when some kind of apocalypse threatens mankind, while Ejiofor will play the president’s science advisor, who also becomes a hero. What can I say, Emmerich loves him some heroes. Emmerich also wrote the script with his 10,000 BC co-writer, Harald Kloser. What are you doing, John? Why would you ponder this disaster flick? Didn’t you learn anything from those top 5 breakups? You can’t handle the kind of rejection people will send your way when this movie comes out.
I liked John Grisham when I was 12, which is probably the only acceptable age to read books about young idealistic lawyers who announce things like “I’m a lawyer!” before gathering all their gumption to go up against the evil of their firm on behalf of their client to avoid the gas chamber … pelican brief. I haven’t kept up with Grisham in a long time, but he’s apparently turned his efforts from mediocre legal thrillers to mediocre human dramas. Phoenix Pictures announced this week that it has picked up film rights for Playing for Pizza, Grisham’s novel about a washed-up NFL quarterback who joins a semi-pro team in Italy and winds up gaining “a new perspective on life and a love for all things Italian.” Nice try, Grisham: This story was already made, and it was called Under the Tuscan Sun, and it taught us all how to live and love. You think you can top that? Shame on you, sir. Shame.
That’s most of what’s happened so far this week. There have been a couple minor castings, and some sales out of Cannes, but that’s it. On to the trailer watch:
First up is the teaser for City of Ember, a cornball family fantasy that looks like it’ll rank pretty high on the unintentional hilarity scale. And you better believe that’s Bill Murray:
Next is the clip for Bax Luhrmann’s Australia, complete with a Nicole Kidman who’s had just way too much work done. Plus the music in the trailer is a total knock-off of Henry V:
Finally, here’s the red band trailer for The Happening, now with 58% more violence and self-mutilation:
Daniel Carlson is the managing editor of Pajiba and a low-level employee at a Hollywood industry magazine. You can visit his blog, Slowly Going Bald.
John Grisham can do little wrong in my eyes these days. I just found out he helped pay for the restoration of Faulkner's house. As a writer's-house-pilgrim, I thank him.
Shyamalan is going to run out of chances soon enough, I'm sure. There was a cougar attacking someone's hand, yes?
Posted by: EvanG at May 20, 2008 6:15 AM
oh look - Nicole Kidman WHISPERING her way through another film and ruining it.
Posted by: Izzy at May 20, 2008 7:05 AM
The concept for Ember was actually kind of cool. (Yes, I read kid books. It's where the plots and storytelling live these days.)
Except I'm pretty sure the whole 'the city is dying and we should leave' thing was like the central mystery uncovered in the first book. Stupid trailers.
Blah. Bill Murray = awesome.
Posted by: twig at May 20, 2008 7:19 AM
I don't understand why people still cast Nicole Kidman if they're looking for a character who can emote. I was never under the impression that she was some kind of huge box-office draw. Also, Abbie Cornish is a younger, more expressive, healthier looking version of her anyway.
But it's got Hugh Jackman so I'll probably see it anyway.
Australia looks like a complete bomb... and yet I cannot resist anything with David Wenham in it, so I'll probably end up watching it at some point.
Posted by: Mary at May 20, 2008 7:44 AM
Seeing as how Cusack got battered at the box office last year with his 2 fall dramas I'm not surprised he's back on a blockbuster movie. Probably needs to get paid, then he'll be back to the small indies. Maybe the experience will be all he needs to get off his ass and get "Grosse Point Blank 2" off the ground.
Anyone notice a couple shots in the trailer for "Australia" where Kidman looks exactly like Naomi Watts? Maybe that's been her plan all along with the plastic surgery. She's trying to steal the identity of an infinitely more talented actress.
Posted by: Rob at May 20, 2008 8:20 AM
The Happening In My Pants
Posted by: MO at May 20, 2008 8:28 AM
"Australia" looks like how the Jumanji world was portrayed in the animated series.
Posted by: JS at May 20, 2008 9:00 AM
Past and present man crushes..........in a film by the 10,000 BC guy.
How the hell am I supposed to react to this?!?!?!?
Posted by: WestCoastPat at May 20, 2008 9:04 AM
How the hell am I supposed to react to this?!?!?!?
Be optimistic. There is plenty of time for Roland Emmerich to be carried away by wild stoats.
Posted by: twig at May 20, 2008 9:09 AM
Oh, Martin Blank, why do you hurt me this way?
Regarding the trailers:
I keep trying to figure out if the Ember girl is the same girl who played young Briony in Atonement. Plus, Bill Murray and Tim Robbins? I'll catch it on DVD.
I have a strange urge to see Australia. Do not ask me why. I cannot explain it. I'm sure that lust for Hugh Jackman plays a part; I also like Nicole Kidman (fire at will).
I'll see The Happening in the theater. I will. I can't help it. It's got Vince Papale and Philadelphia and looks kind of like Signs, which I unabashedly love.
I'm so getting my ass kicked after this.
Posted by: Nicole at May 20, 2008 9:14 AM
Speaking of Watts: I finally saw the Painted Veil (I've discovered that certain stations on my digital cable allow me to watch movies that my neighbors have ordered. However, I still have to stare at the paused screen if they have to pee.) and I thought she was fantastic in it (of course though, my neighbor decided to pee for four hours so I have no idea how it ends.) Also, who absolutely loved her in I Heart Huckabees?
One more thing, with all these celebrities selling baby photos, why haven't we seen Cotton Weary's son yet, eh? I'm intrigued to what he might look like.
One more more thing, Never Date An Actress is absolutely fucking brilliant. And it's on Youtube. So go watch it.
Deviating from KiloWatts, does it seem weird to anyone else that Hugh Jackman and Nicole Kidman are both...Australian...yet in the trailer they seem to be affecting English (British) accents?
Posted by: Renee at May 20, 2008 9:15 AM
Re Cusack:
Not everything he made was bad. The Ice Harvest was really fun.
But Emmerich? Oh, please, no!
Re Kidman: Is it my ears only, or did she actually try to fake a british/australian accent?
Posted by: FabMax at May 20, 2008 9:20 AM
To be honest, City of Ember looked much better when it was a trailer right before a midnight screening of The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian. In fact, it may have been the most enjoyable two minutes of the night for me. Too bad a well rested mind views it as garbage.
I hope Australia is better than the trailer leads me to think it will be.
In conclusion, I am an M. Night Shyamalan apologist, so I will be seeing The Happening on opening day and then defending his vision for years to come so long as its not Lady in the Water levels of awful. Though the twist (you don't want to know) leads me to think it might be worse than Signs and Lady in the Water combined. Shyamalan seriously needs to make his next twist that there is no twist in his film. That would be great. Even release fake screenplays with twist endings to throw off the fanboys so they are blindsided by a relatively straight forward narrative with good camera angles and solid, if mostly unremarkable, performances.
Yay for I Heart Huckabees! Ember looks stupid, but the Bill Murray/Tim Robbins combo is impossible to resist. Australia looks like a retread of the horrible horrible horrible "Far and Away", but I might still see it because Baz Luhrmann is the director. I HATED "Moulin Rouge", but at least he's not trying to overstylize everything to hide a weak story and mannered acting.
Speaking of which, can anyone think of a good Ewan McGregor movie (except for Trainspotting)? I just love watching him act, but I generally can't stand his movies.
Posted by: LB at May 20, 2008 9:25 AM
Thank you, IMDB. It is indeed young Briony Tallis and now I will have to see City of Ember.
Posted by: Nicole at May 20, 2008 9:37 AM
I'm so getting my ass kicked after this...
I am an M. Night Shyamalan apologist...
I have liked all of ShyMan's movies at least a little. I recently re-watched the last third of Lady in the Water and even though he fucked that one up big time, there is quite a sweet and profound story buried in that muck. (Giamatti nearly made me cry.) The only one I hated was Unbreakable, and I even thought that was great, right up to the piss-off-stupid ending.
I think a large part of the problem is most people's misapprehension that every M Night movie has to have a "twist ending." When they don't get their "twist," they either try to make some random plot element the "twist" (which doesn't work) and/or complain that the "twist" is dumb. People: The Village had no twist. What was a shock to the characters was telegraphed very effectively to the audience. Signs had no twist.
What I look for, and appreciate, in M Night's movies is the investigation of how the characters respond to their situation--ordinary people in extraordinary circumstances. The crisis in Signs, for instance, is completely ridiculous (Aliens? Tap water? Really??) but that isn't the point. The point is to put the characters into crisis and watch how they deal with it. I was moved (and frightened) by the way the characters in Signs dealt with the situation. As Stephen King once said, "I'm not interested in how the gadgets work; I'm interested in how the people work."
This new film looks as if it could be very engaging, if done right--though I have read an early review that completely trashed it.
Posted by: Jerce at May 20, 2008 9:47 AM
There appears to be an event happening.
Wow, that is exactly what I say when I drop a deuce. Like M. Night is. With this movie.
Posted by: Dangle McGee at May 20, 2008 9:50 AM
FabMax, I think you are right on the money. Seeing as Ms. Kidman has had more needles in her face than there are in any Indonesian sweatshop, I don't believe that she is even capable of basic human speech anymore. Blame whoever does her voice-over work.
Seriously though, that woman haunts my dreams.
Posted by: jM at May 20, 2008 9:52 AM
In regards to The Happening, M.Night is the Lorax.
With Cusack,the Devlin and Emmerich ouvre is much more enjoyable when you realize that they don't take their films seriously and are just making them to be mindless entertainment (second greatest DVD commentary track ever is on Day After Tomorrow). Australia looks tedious and City of Ember does look way more entertaining then Prince Caspian even though Reepicheep was teh awesome.
Posted by: Adam C at May 20, 2008 9:55 AM
No, no no. 'ID4' was mindless entertainment. 'The Day After Tomorrow' was absolute shit.
Posted by: twig at May 20, 2008 10:07 AM
Add me to the list of M. Night apologists. Though unlike most of them, I adore Unbreakable and think it's his best work. I think the man gets too harshly bashed as a bad director, when really his problem is his writing. I think he's proven time and again that he's a brilliant director in nearly every capacity. But for Godtpus's sake man, try doing someone else's script for once; yours have been the dictionary definition of diminishing returns.
Posted by: Bistro at May 20, 2008 10:10 AM
Anyone notice a couple shots in the trailer for "Australia" where Kidman looks exactly like Naomi Watts?
YES! Could they be the same person? Has anyone ever seen them in the same place, together?
Posted by: mswas at May 20, 2008 10:20 AM
Well, I actually liked America's Sweethearts. It's perfectly entertaining, and if I catch it on tbs/usa/tnt/bravo I'll watch it for a little while. So there.
A movie with both John Cusack and Chiwetel Ejiofor is going to be hard to resist. I am especially enamored of Ejiofor. Unless, of course, it gets totally trashed (especially by a Pajiba reviewer).
I thought Ember looked interesting. And it has Tim Robbins! We'll see what I think as more info comes out about it. Of course, since I almost never go to the movies anymore, :( we're really just talking about what I might see on DVD.
Posted by: tamatha at May 20, 2008 10:21 AM
I found Signs to be a highly entertaining comedy. Oh, wait. That wasn't a comedy? Seriously?
Damn.
Twig, I will defend ID4 as Will Smith's best performance. I love that movie. It is stupid, over the top, and completely irrational. I watch it anytime that it is on cable.
Posted by: Melody at May 20, 2008 10:26 AM
Adam C, you make me curious: what in your opinion is the first "greatest DVD commentary track ever"?
I never listen to the commentaries on DVDs--normally it just doesn't interest me--but I enjoy the hell out of TDAT. I haven't laughed that much in years. (It was only recently edged out by 40-Year-Old Virgin.)
Posted by: Jerce at May 20, 2008 10:35 AM
I also will be seeing The Happening, because A. I truly believe Shyamalan will someday get his head out of his ass and make good movies again, and B. they are set in Philly. And I will watch anything set in my beloved city. I can't explain it. There must be some secret practice at local hospitals where they bury a piece of every newborn's umbilical cord underneath Fairmount Park to create such rampant homerism.
Posted by: Julie at May 20, 2008 10:36 AM
I like most of what Shyamalan has done - except for Unbreakable. I haven't seen Lady in the Water, but I do like Signs (it was on just the other day, and even though I knew what was happening, I still found myself changing the channel to skip the scary parts). And now that I really think about it, I agree with Jerce - it's the characters. They're so well developed and multi-layered. Dammit, the guy made me care about Mel Gibson, for chrissakes.
Posted by: Kolby at May 20, 2008 10:43 AM
Rob - Grosse Pointe Blank 2 is off the ground...and in the can.
Well virtually.
Have you not seen the trailer for War Inc?
Posted by: Simon B at May 20, 2008 10:57 AM
Anyone notice a couple shots in the trailer for "Australia" where Kidman looks exactly like Naomi Watts?
YES! Could they be the same person? Has anyone ever seen them in the same place, together?
I wouldn't reccommend it. It is deeply, deeply flawed (and I really like MNS other movies).
Lady in the Water has this weird meta-narrative thing going on with the story, where he's deconstructing the way a story should be told within the story itself - it's not the world's worst idea but it really, really didn't work.
Posted by: twig at May 20, 2008 11:06 AM
The title of this post makes me want to watch HIgh Fidelity RIGHT NOW...that is one of my favorite movies (and books) in the universe.
"Top five musical crimes perpetuated by Stevie Wonder in the '80s and '90s, go! Suuuuuub-question: is it in fact unfair to criticize a formerly great artist for his latter day sins? Is it better to burn out or fade away?"
Posted by: Julie at May 20, 2008 11:09 AM
"Speaking of which, can anyone think of a good Ewan McGregor movie (except for Trainspotting)? I just love watching him act, but I generally can't stand his movies."
LB - maybe this is just me, but I would totally recommend Big Fish as it absolutely made me bawl. But other than that, your question does pose a quandary. I personally also enjoyed him in Down With Love and Velvet Goldmine, and particularly in Brassed Off (I know I'm reaching, but I think that's the first thing I saw and loved him in).
Posted by: Anne (in Reno) at May 20, 2008 11:10 AM
Bistro:
Unbreakable is his best film. Though I think The Village is almost tied for that title. They both feature great performances, interesting concepts, and creative camerawork.
The only one of his films I find damn near unwatchable is Signs, but that's purely based on my own preferences.
Re Ewan McGregor: Also Young Adam with Tilda Swinton. And I agree that Down with Love is a good one too.
Posted by: socalledonlycousins at May 20, 2008 11:26 AM
Also, as someone who generally detests musicals, I greatly enjoyed Moulin Rouge, probably as a result of high goodwill for most of the cast and for Elton John's catalogue, plus it was pretty funny. That film marked the last time Nicole Kidman was able to smile without tearing face skin.
Posted by: socalledonlycousins at May 20, 2008 11:29 AM
Nice to see the love for my own guilty pleasure, ID4. No longer must I cower in the shadows of my lack of hipness due to the fact that I crack up every time Will Smith punches out an alien and yells "Welcome to Erf".
I also think MNS's Unbreakable is his best....I managed to walk into 6th Sense unspoiled, and that is one of those movie experiences I won't forget. Signs really appealed to me during a time when I was going through religious questioning, although less so now. Now it's about really really stupid aliens.
If the spoilers i have read are true regarding the happening, then with the number of vegetables I have eaten, houseplants I have murdered, and blunts I have smoked, I'm gonna be the first to go.
And by "go" I mean die a horrible self-inflicted death, not attend a movie screening.
Posted by: meh at May 20, 2008 11:38 AM
anne I second the love for brassed off, great movie.
Despite the presence of the botox-ice queen I cant help to be overly exited for Australia. I mean Baz Luhrmann makes a movie every 500 years so i have the moral obligation to be overly exited for anything that comes out of his psychotic lovely head.
Posted by: rio at May 20, 2008 11:43 AM
I swear, I must be the only person who doesn't love "Grosse Point Blank". I didn't dislike it, but I saw it once when it came out and that was enough. I almost feel cheated, as people get so much out of that movie.
I really liked "Unbreakable" too, especially in how it didn't twist but just shifted the angle, like when the camera shows us the rock bridge Indy is standing on. "See? THAT'S what's going on." Like re-reading Snape's flight from Hogwarts. I'd tell people "take one step to the side and now look at it".
I didn't know about the "Ember" movie until I saw an ad for the trailer at rottentomatoes last week. I haven't read them but the books get put on the summer reading lists so they're thought to be fairly respectable.
Oh and what was in the Guinness last night? Jeez, my left leg felt a little numb at one point and I'm still getting rid of this little headache. Usually it's your brain that feels numb, right? Here I'm worrying my knee's gonna buckle if I stand up. Didn't have any more than usual but there was an extra kick somehow. But it was worth it to indulge my younger self by karaoke-ing "Twilight Zone" and "Love Removal Machine" with "Watching the Detectives" inbetween. Maybe they would've liked "Fire Woman" even more, but that's certainly not as fun, and it's my show anyway, dammit!
A Life Less Ordinary. Ewan and Cameron Diaz are both pretty good in this romantic comedy. The set up is complicated and the plot is predictable, but Holly Hunter and Delroy Lindo play homicidal cupids. I highly recommend it.
Posted by: Jennifer at May 20, 2008 11:46 AM
"Anyone notice a couple shots in the trailer for "Australia" where Kidman looks exactly like Naomi Watts"
Actually, I thought at points in King Kong that Watts looked just like Kidman. Which is funny, because I don't think they look that much alike--but then again, Watts has those changeable looks that can make it hard to spot her from one role to another. (P.S. I'm not all that impressed with Watts, either. She's not bad, but she's strangely uncompelling.)
And that music isn't a knockoff of Henry V. It is the music from Henry V. But it wouldn't surprise me if they change it for the actual movie. I'm not sure why they thought we wouldn't notice. Patrick Doyle's score is pretty iconic, even if it doesn't have the obvious familiarity of Star Wars or Indiana Jones themes.
Posted by: KateNonymous at May 20, 2008 11:57 AM
Have faith - Roland Emmerich may have made The Day After Tomorrow and Godzilla...but hey it can't be that bad...John Cusack is attached to it...and Chiwetel Ejiofor might even co-star...so it might not be so bad...
'...Nicole Kidman who's had just way too much work done' Yes what has happened to her face and career? Austrailia looks bad...but i may still go and see it.
Posted by: Neena at May 20, 2008 11:59 AM
At the CineHell I manage, we have over 20 poster cases. When a new poster comes in, the staff working that day votes with us on if we should hang up the new poster UPS just delivered.
The day the poster for The Happening arrived, not one had got raised after we unrolled it.
Another 'should've been direct to dvd' Hollywood moment.
Posted by: SpiceLux at May 20, 2008 12:03 PM
"Watching the Detectives"
That must have been something to behold. Look! It's Elvis!
Posted by: socalledonlycousins at May 20, 2008 12:04 PM
Meh, I think Unbreakable is definitely at least tied with Sixth Sense for his best work. And I really enjoyed Signs, it scared the crap out of me (and it was filmed in Bucks County, which whoot! is where I'm from).
I know I'm in the minority, but I fucking DESPISE Moulin Rouge. I thought Nicole Kidman overacted to the point of inducing a seizure, I cringed the entire film. I have such a visceral reaction to that movie, I just hate it. Flames on the side of my face hate.
Posted by: Julie at May 20, 2008 12:07 PM
Anne: If you haven't seen "Shallow Grave" that's an excellent movie with Ewan M in it. (see how cleverly I got out of messing up the spelling of his last name.
The movie is twisted and scary and I loved it!
Posted by: trixie at May 20, 2008 12:08 PM
Holly Hunter and Delroy Lindo play homicidal cupids
You are shitting me. I've been avoiding that movie for the longest time because of the romantic taint...and now you tell me there are homicidal cupids played by two of my favorite actors? Shadows, get thee hence to netflix!
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at May 20, 2008 12:14 PM
It's truly a Philthadelphia thing. I am an M. Night Shamayalan appreciator. I like his stuff. I don't care if it's predictable or melodramatic, or Hitchcock ripoffs. I likes them. They make me happy. Hell, I loved Lady in the Water.
Apparently, it's my job to apologize for every filmmaker from Pennsylvania. At least the ones that make horror. Sigh.
On that same note, Playing for Pizza isn't the greatest thing since sliced bread, but it's at least a hearty taco. It'll make for a charming little comedy.
I agree with Julie about Moulin Rouge. The scene where the Duke sings 'Like A Virgin'? I still have nightmares. Even with LemonFace Zellweger, Chicago had better music and a more interesting story. In my opinion at least.
That said though, I agree that everybody's free to wear sunscreen.
Posted by: Renee Pogue at May 20, 2008 12:21 PM
I liked ID4 a little bit before I realized the entire second half of the plot is ripped off from Return of the Jedi. just replace Han and Leia with Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum (to shut off the force field) and Lando with Bill Pullman (to attack with fighters once the force field is off).
Posted by: Three-nineteen at May 20, 2008 12:21 PM
Aw man...I'm with Shadows, I want to drink margaritas and join a book club with Holly Hunter, so I may have to rent that movie as well.
Posted by: Julie at May 20, 2008 12:22 PM
jerce, There is a huge tie for first for me, but some of them are UHF Weird Al Yankovic in a cast/director commentary, Resident Evil Milla Jovovich and Michelle Rodriguez ripping on Paul Anderson throughout the entire commentary, Big Trouble in Little China where John Carpenter and Kurt Russell alternate between discussing the movie and their children, Hellboy just for Ron Perlman's Jerry Lewis impersonation, and The Mummy for Stephan Sommers and Bob Ducsay explain how they enjoy tormenting extras. Extra bonus for Resident Evil:Apocalypse for Oded Fehr and Milla Jovovich busting on the movie's production while Sienna Guillory (recorded separately) waxes eloquent on the "art" and "style" of the film like it was a Academy Award nominee.
Posted by: Adam C at May 20, 2008 12:22 PM
Seriously? Are none of the Cusack fans the least bit optimistic about War Inc?
...oh and on the Ewan M front, what about Nightwatch and Blackhawk Down?
Posted by: Adam C at May 20, 2008 12:25 PM
Oh! Yes, if you haven't seen "Shallow Grave" then that's a good start, LB. A year before "Trainspotting" by the same director, and you've got Eccleston being the uptight schmuck roommate. It's fun!
I forget about "A Life Less Ordinary". Also it's from my post-college Horse latitudes so my brain throws it in the "let's not dwell on that" pile. It's probably a bit better than I remember.
Extra bonus for Resident Evil:Apocalypse for Oded Fehr and Milla Jovovich busting on the movie's production while Sienna Guillory (recorded separately) waxes eloquent on the "art" and "style" of the film like it was a Academy Award nominee.
BAAAAA-ha-ha!
Are you familiar with "Commentary Tracks of the Damned," a column in The Onion's AV Club?
Posted by: Jerce at May 20, 2008 12:30 PM
Big Trouble in Little China where John Carpenter and Kurt Russell alternate between discussing the movie and their children
Adam C, I JUST saw that movie for the first time two weeks ago, and I loved it so much that I actually put on the commentary for certain parts of the movie...I loved Russell and Carpenter's rapport, you can tell they have such a high regard for each other.
Speaking of awesome commentaries, my favorite is Paul Giamatti and Thomas Haden Church's for Sideways. I rarely listen to commentaries, but they were so fucking funny together that I listened to the whole thing and was howling the entire time.
Posted by: Julie at May 20, 2008 12:31 PM
Another awesome commentary - Dog Soldiers.
Kevin McKidd, Sean Pertwee, Liam Cunningham, director Neil Marshall and a crate of lager.
Needless to say, they have a great time...and the commentary doesn't finish until some time after the final credits have rolled.
Posted by: Simon B at May 20, 2008 12:44 PM
"Extra bonus for Resident Evil:Apocalypse for Oded Fehr and Milla Jovovich busting on the movie's production"
Oded Fehr makes me tingly in the nethers.
"Women pay me to ...give them pleasure."
Posted by: Loob at May 20, 2008 12:48 PM
The City of Ember was a pretty good tween-young adult book. And I always felt it's setup translated to a great look for a movie. But it looks like they turned it into some magical mystery adventure romp, when it's not. It's claustrophobic and kind of depressing but good to read. Bill Murray would even be good for the real role of the Mayor, if they made him the greedy/manipulative, but also sometimes stupid character he is in the books.
Posted by: E at May 20, 2008 12:49 PM
Can we also limit the use of the slow motion hand running through knee level grass shot. It was done in Gladiator (maybe before that, I'm a youngin') to great effect, and now I see it all the time, and it carries no meaning.
Posted by: E at May 20, 2008 12:52 PM
I hate Moulin Rouge. I despise that movie. That is high grade schlock masquerading as a decent movie. I have nothing against Nicole Kidman or Ewan, but that movie is a dark and evil stain on both of their careers. That movie is horrible. The over-wrought love story, the rehashing and thus, screwing up, of some great songs, and extravagant over-usage of botox and sequins. Ugh.
As full disclosure, I feel that 99.5% of musicals are crap. I do not believe in the magical powers of Sound of Music, I hated Oklahoma, and Moulin Rouge made me nauseous with all the sugar-sweet tripe. I did enjoy the daylights out of Chicago, though, in spite of Renee. Catherine Zeta Jones and Queen Latifah made that movie more watchable than it should have been.
Posted by: Melody at May 20, 2008 12:52 PM
Melody, you are allowed all of that.
But what about "Grease"?
There's opinion and then there's fact.
(there exists somewhere a picture of me singing "Summer Nights" along with the male chorus of showtunes night at Marie's Crisis in Greenwich Village after one or two too many martinis. I didn't know the other shows they were going through and by the time they got to "Grease" I was LIT, but still sad when the pianist took one of his occasional solos on "There Are Worse Things I Could Do". Years later it still pains me getting cheated like that. Oh and I don't want to see that picture again.)
Oded Fehr makes me tingly in the nethers
The Mummy guy? Sheeit. Talk to some of the women I work with. They quote him. Me, I'd had no idea that movie had this hot'n'bothered wing of fandom. But then, I don't feel the same way about the dusky tattooed men. At least he had a cooler costume than the guy with the same role in "The Last Crusade" (and now I've mentioned that movie twice. Don't get me wrong though, "Doom" is where it's at).
Black Hawk Down doesn't count. After the first fifteen minutes it's impossible to tell who anyone is anyway. Great movie, could not tell one guy from the other once they got into that firefight.
I liked the commentary on the extended/deleted scenes from 'Gladiator' where Ridley Scott talked about how they had to cut the scene with the Christians getting eaten by the lions because 'the lion didn't eat the little boy interestingly enough'.
Posted by: twig at May 20, 2008 1:15 PM
heheh! He also had some tv role as a doctor on some forgettable hospital thing, but they made him have short hair... something less ravishable happening then. ;)
Posted by: Loob at May 20, 2008 1:17 PM
... and the 'stars' commentary track from Hot Fuzz with Timothy Dalton giggling like a fiend every time someone gets killed.
Posted by: twig at May 20, 2008 1:17 PM
Jay, I know that I am going to get hammered for this, but I also don't like Grease.
I don't believe in musicals.
Posted by: Melody at May 20, 2008 1:25 PM
Grisham is a decent writer, but his stories always let me down in the end. The last one I read was The Last Juror and the ending just blew.
I want to see The Happening, and I truly hope it's nothing like Lady In The Water. I didn't care about the twist, but that the movie was so incredibly manipulative. And for the life of me, I have no idea why people get so geeked up over Bryce Dallas Howard. She's decent, but nothing to scream over.
I also liked Unbreakable, and not for the twist, but the interesting take on the superhero genre. It's not one of his universal faves, but it's not the crap that people make it out to be.
Posted by: Brie at May 20, 2008 1:27 PM
Melody, I also hate Grease. I think it's one of the most overrated movies, and I wanted to personally beat the shit out of all the characters.
Except Rizzo. She was cool.
Posted by: Brie at May 20, 2008 1:32 PM
Ooh, ooh!! I hate Grease too! I want to be first in line to beat the hell out of Danny Zucko with a gym sock full of quarters and...angry wasps.
Posted by: Julie at May 20, 2008 1:34 PM
cut the scene with the Christians getting eaten by the lions because 'the lion didn't eat the little boy interestingly enough'.
Hee hee hee.
Oded Fehr is handsome, but he doesn't make me do the dance of "I'm feeling allergic to my pants."
Posted by: Julie at May 20, 2008 1:36 PM
Many thanks for the commentary track recs -- most of those are movies I wouldn't Netflix otherwise, so I would have missed the commentaries.
I am beyond tired of Nicole Kidman but OH MY, does Hugh Jackman look delicious in that trailer. I don't know... it might be enough to get me to a theater in spite of my better judgment.
I am a fan of The Sixth Sense/Unbreakable/Signs, but I just stopped checking out MNS's movies. I think I felt like I'd seen some cool stuff and I didn't want to ruin it.
I really like Signs
Posted by: Louise at May 20, 2008 1:39 PM
Many thanks for the commentary track recs -- most of those are movies I wouldn't Netflix otherwise, so I would have missed the commentaries.
I am beyond tired of Nicole Kidman but OH MY, does Hugh Jackman look delicious in that trailer. I don't know... it might be enough to get me to a theater in spite of my better judgment.
I really like Signs (despite disliking MG the person; the rest of the cast is great) in an interpretation that MNS specifically rejected -- that the whole thing is a dream of Mel's. The kinds of things that happen and the tenor of the dialog and the shifting in timeline...not to mention the absurdity of the actual aliens -- it all works beautifully if it's all a dream.
Posted by: Louise at May 20, 2008 1:41 PM
Is it just me or does Hugh Jackman look EXACTLY like Clint Eastwood as The Man With No Name in the Australia trailer. Probably still won't see it, though.
Posted by: Jeff at May 20, 2008 2:11 PM
I take it that Tim Robbins never gets offered any roles besides 'crazy post-apocalyptic guy' any more.
Posted by: Kris at May 20, 2008 2:41 PM
What's that? People admitting to hatred of Moulin Rouge AND Grease?
Where have you been all my life, oh kindred spirits? Oh, bosom buddies! Yay!!!
I'm with you, Melody--for some reason, I found Chicago really, really enjoyable, despite a general distaste for musicals. But man, I just felt like I needed a case of ADD to enjoy Moulin Rouge. Blech.
Posted by: MO at May 20, 2008 2:41 PM
My tolerance of musicals is fickle. I adore Little Shop of Horrors, Jesus Christ Superstar, Singing in the Rain, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers...I was in the drama club in high school and used to go to shows at a number of local high schools...and I enjoy Broadway shows and local productions in Philly...but only to an extent. Eventually my tolerance has a breaking point and I yearn to set on fire the next person who starts singing about their bad hair day or the color of their pee.
Posted by: Julie at May 20, 2008 2:49 PM
CryBaby is my anti-Grease.
I'm picking up weird, wanna-be-Casablanca vibes from the Australia trailer. Is it just me?
Posted by: Annie at May 20, 2008 3:04 PM
There must be some secret practice at local hospitals where they bury a piece of every newborn's umbilical cord underneath Fairmount Park to create such rampant homerism.
You have indeed solved the mystery. I'm going to have that tattooed on my back and show it people every time they ask me why Eagles fans are the way we are.
I don't do musicals. I don't get it. The one exception is Evita, because I absolutely adore Madonna, and because my aunt had the original cast recording and used to sing along with it and it's one of my happiest memories of her.
Posted by: Nicole at May 20, 2008 3:04 PM
What's that? People admitting to hatred of Moulin Rouge AND Grease? Where have you been all my life, oh kindred spirits? Oh, bosom buddies! Yay!!!
I've never seen Moulin Rouge because I don't care for musicals in general, and it really seems to be a polarizing, love-it-or-hate-it kind of film, so I skipped it.
But oh dear sweet Chocolate Godtopus, how I hate hate HATE Grease! What a stupid, stupid movie. My hate is amplified because it came out when I was a kid, and my peers couldn't get enough of that stupid fucking movie.
John Travolta. Can't. Sing. Oh, God, the memories make my head ache.
CryBaby is my anti-Grease.
Word to the word, Annie. Johnny Depp can act AND sing.
Posted by: Jerce at May 20, 2008 4:21 PM
Does Jerce live in Philadelphia too? That town seems to have it in for Rydell High.
I'm so glad other people hated "Moulin Rouge" too! Thanks for the Ewan McGregor suggestions - I just couldn't get behind "Down with Love", but ya'll have suggested several others that will soon be topping my Netflix queue.
Posted by: LB at May 20, 2008 4:38 PM
Oh, Kris, my friend, you have no idea about Tim Robbins. His next movie is called The Rectifier (I always thought this would be the sequel to The Pacifier -- bazing! thank you I'll be here all week, don't forget to tip your steak and try the waitress).
He plays a well-to-do fella who gets so outraged at all the noise from car alarms that he goes around delivering vigilante justice by smashing the shit out of the cars with golf clubs and baseball bats. He actually develops Cat Burglaresque cards and leaves the behind. He makes a videotape manifesto. He makes a costume.
Maybe I can get a costume and start smacking bluetooth tumors against people's ears. I bet that'd hurt.
But I'd be doing them a goddamn favor saving them from the Cybermen!
Jay, WORD. Firstly, every time I see a bluetoother I think, "If I yanked that out of your ear would your brain come out?" Secondly, it used to drive me batshit insane when I was working in Center City because I could never tell if the person talking to himself was "on a call" or a well-dressed schizophrenic.
Posted by: Nicole at May 20, 2008 4:55 PM
Pardon my formatting; I'm currently dealing with the sciatic nerve from hell as well as ex drama (sprung from last week's funeral goings-on), and clearly am no longer format-literate.
Posted by: Nicole at May 20, 2008 4:57 PM
it used to drive me batshit insane when I was working in Center City because I could never tell if the person talking to himself was "on a call" or a well-dressed schizophrenic.
Oh LORD. I see those people every day, and I still always assume that they're crazy and not on the phone. That says a lot about my opinion of the residents of this fine city.
Posted by: Julie at May 20, 2008 5:12 PM
I saw a revival of the stage version of Grease (with Adrian Zmed as Danny and Deborah-Stop-Calling-Me-Debbie Gibson as Rizzo). It really gave me a new appreciation for the movie.
As for M. Night, I was a big Sixth Sense fan. Unbreakable seemed like a letdown when I saw it in the theater. When I saw it again on TV a couple of years later, I was really impressed, and now I this that it's far superior to Sixth Sense. It's not really about superheroes--it's about identity, and I think he takes a really interesting look at how we craft our visions of ourselves.
I don't think Signs is anywhere near as good, but I admire its construction. Everything fits together, and is there for a reason. (I don't think life is like that, but I still enjoyed the way it worked on screen here.)
I found the Village scary and stupid, which is my least favorite combination. And when one of my friends asked if Joaquin Phoenix was as
And I guess Lady in the Water works as an object lesson--it demonstrates why "show, don't tell" is a principle and "tell, don't show" is not. Giamatti is great, but that's just because he's Paul Giamatti, one of the small number of actors and actresses who shows up prepared to work, regardless of how crappy the movie is. But the movie itself is appalling, not for its ham-fisted (but still kind of funny) attack on critics, or for the worst vanity casting ever, but because what might have been a tale of redemption was a story in which someone told a story.
Even that could have been interesting--a movie about storytelling--but it wasn't. We literally watched one person tell another person a story. No one learned anything, there was no greater understanding or appreciation at the end of it. It was a story about a sequence of events, followed by that sequence of events. With a murderous grass-dog.
As for The Happening, I might see it later, but I won't pay movie theater prices for it. But it can't be worse than Lady in the Water. As I said to Mr. Nonymous, "We saw Lady in the Water on cable, and I still think M. Night Shyamalan owes me money."
Posted by: KateNonymous at May 20, 2008 5:41 PM
Cusack must be taking the title of one of his movies to heart in picking his films, Must Love Dogs. War, Inc. is running at 19% on the tomatometer.
Posted by: OscarTamerz at May 20, 2008 8:24 PM
I will see Australia for a few reasons...1) Baz Luhrmann...his movies are a freaking mind trip and I love it...2) Hugh Jackman...nuff said...3)I grew up in Darwin, where at least some of it is set, and was filmed. Deep loyalties there...I just hope he doesn't fuck up the story of the bombing, because Darwin get's a bad wrap often enough about that...
I don't think that I've seen this mentioned here thus far, but being that he's the unofficial poster boy for Pajiba, how did it go unmentioned that Christian Bale has officially signed on for 3 Terminator movies?
Now that we've all returned from s t o p w i t h t h e f u c k i n g s p a c i n g. com, where we made many white and black friends (but apparently no Asian, Hispanic, South Sea Islander or Other friends)...
how did it go unmentioned that Christian Bale has officially signed on for 3 Terminator movies?
I took a moment to investigate this (saying a tearful farewell to my fine new black friends), and apparently it's true:
And even if this doesn't work out, it's not like Christian Bale isn't due for a stinker or two. I don't believe he's had a flop since Newsies.
Posted by: Jerce at May 20, 2008 9:50 PM
Alright Spambots, YOU WIN!! I am going out and fucking the next black, tan, eggshell, or even champagne colored guy I come across. They'll all be darker than my pale Irish ass, so if that doesn't sate your god damned interracial dating entreaties and stop your abundance of postings I am going to douse myself in nail polish remover, set myself on fire, and run screaming into the middle of the summertime Liberty Bell tourists where I will hopefully take out not only those people who walk five in a row and block the sidewalks but also those fucking Ride the Ducks boats.
Posted by: Julie at May 20, 2008 10:56 PM
:dies laughing:
And of course the Powers that Pajibee erased the Spambots posts, so now I look like a crazy person who just REALLY wants to either get laid by someone with a gorgeous complexion, or wants to kill tourists.
Both are true anyway, so I'm surprisingly ok with that.
Posted by: Julie at May 20, 2008 11:01 PM
A little late, as usual, but:
Re: Ewan MacGregor:
Shallow Grave is indeed great, and is also responsible for a full third of my nightmares (the other two thirds revolve around spiders and the mess that is my subconscious).
Re: City of Ember:
I liked that book. I agree that it was claustrophobic, and definitely a little creepy -- not your usual kiddie fantasy novel. I'm hoping that the trailer is just for show, and we don't have another The Seeker: The Dark is Rising incident.
Posted by: Becca at May 20, 2008 11:06 PM
Three more Terminator movies? THREE? So by the law of sequels, they must take place in either space, hell, or da hood. He must fight Jason, The Dream Warriors or Ivan Drago. And Jamie Lee Curtis needs to fight Bruce Campbell.
Posted by: insertclevernamehere at May 20, 2008 11:18 PM
Wow, Servo. Just wow. I'll pay you five bucks to take out the Ride the Fucking Ducks vehicular calamities and all passengers.
But this is probably because I listen to Joel, Mike et. al cutting on Wisconsin more than I spend in Stone Mountain Park just down the road.
But then, it also appears to be a DUKW trip on water here, you have to seek it out within this park that you also have to seek out.
But apparently, that is the exception. These appear to be in urban traffic in the other cities. At first, I just thought those duck bills were something dopey to wear. But, following Nicole's....inference....I see they're...noisemakers?
So there's a DUKW rolling around in the street full of kazoos?
It saddens me that an important element of the WWII amphibious landings is hurting people like this.
Use the famous Wacky Quacker™ to become a part of the show as you roam the streets of Historic Philadelphia. Free with every ride, the Wacky Quacker™ will grab locals' attention and get the Duck rocking as you roll through the city streets.
Ho Lee Shit.
I'd almost forgive the "Grease" hating for that.
I was once told I hadn't really showed a guest around Atlanta. I'd replied there wasn't that much to see (we went to Athens and Walt Disney World with a stop at Stephen Foster's house instead). But if there was, there might be AtlantaDucks.com
I can appreciate an early riser.
John Grisham can do little wrong in my eyes these days. I just found out he helped pay for the restoration of Faulkner's house. As a writer's-house-pilgrim, I thank him.
Shyamalan is going to run out of chances soon enough, I'm sure. There was a cougar attacking someone's hand, yes?