Pajiba

The album is actually from Lonely Island, which is the sketch group Samberg and two SNL writers, Jorma and Akiva, worked on before they made it onto SNL.

It had potential. Unfortunately Samberg severely over doing the 'O' face just makes me want to punch him squa in the nuts.

And rhyming film with film, total genius.

be aware that I didn't want to waste my lip gloss... or be the girl at the coffee shop that everyone judges for being with "that guy."

Also, fucking shower before you take me out.

Are we talking about more than this video?

Haha, Jay, ya got me. Now that I've been caught airing out my dirty laundry 'round here, I guess I should just start paying for "real" therapy.

Meh. I'll forget this weird brain-state once I'm done with finals and papers and exams and ohgodsomeonepleaseshootmenow.

caught airing out my dirty laundry

I thought that's what we did here though.

And is that where all the single women are?

And is that where all the single women are?

What? Open-air laundr-o-mats? Coffee Shops? On dates with annoying dudes?

Eh, only yes to two of the three. But coffee shops are a good please to meet single women.

Frick!

We can also be found erroneously double-posting. Grrr...

This whole finals thing is driving me insane. I've been locked in my room alone in the dark all day then binge drinking all night. Somehow this works for me. Had a terrible hangover but it helped me destroy a Chem test so I'm feeling pretty good.
(Somehow the worse I am physically, the better test-taker I become. My defining moment was stumbling into an English class after giving blood on an empty stomach then getting The Best Grade in the Class. Safe to say I am clutch. Also, still a little insane from the stress of two more days of solid test taking as well as other ridiculous commitments)

JAY! Listen up, I am only gonna say this once: Just say hello. If you think a girl's cute, that's all you need to do to get your foot in the door. If she ignores you or walks away, no skin off your nose, finish your beverage and turn the page. If she smiles and says hello back, introduce yourself, ask her if she's got a book or if she's familiar with yours. Or at the very least ask her what she's drinking. Just be sweet/smart Jay and the rest will follow. And if it doesn't, her loss. But we ladies love it when the "second glance" (ya know, when you check someone out and then said someone checks you out and you both meet eyes for a hot second, then look away, because you think "nyah, no way" then you look back and said someone is looking back and then said someone smiles and you smile, or vice versa, yea, that second glance) turns into a "Hey." It makes us feel special.

Optimus I'm in hell until next monday.

The hell, she ends Friday.

I hate finals week.

We can do this... together. We can give each other strength.

Wonder Twin Powers: ACTIVATE!

Form of Cheetara! Wait, no, I've got my cartoons mixed up. FRICK.

Okay: I actually day-dreamed (day-drempt?) yesterday that if I get hit by a car before I hand in my finals, people will remember me as being smart and all my profs will be forced to give me A's.

Then, last night I drempt (dreamed? whatever.) that the Eagles had won the Superbowl and I had tickets. But it was held at my old high school and I got to park my car near the 50 yard line (I don't have a car). Then Marty Morningweg told me my car had been towed and that I now owed the Eagles $1600. The reason my car was towed was because there was a gymnastics competition going on behind the bleachers. The kid who won the tournament? It's a foul-mouthed little kid from the Bad News Bears. He saw me after "dismounting" and called me "a dirty Jew."

Then I woke up. Does that mean that I get all A's?

Form of Cheetara! Wait, no, I've got my cartoons mixed up. FRICK.

That's twice today that I've laughed at the use of "frick," Kayanne.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rr6quR0v9JY

Andy Samberg is officially on the list of guys I would suck off, along with Rick Springfield (of Jesse's Girl fame) and, well, Rick Springfield. Look at him.
http://soupisnotafingerfood.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/rick-springfield4.jpg
Who wouldn't?

Frickity Frick Frick!!! Optimus don't tell Jay that!

*sigh* First of all, I am interesting, intelligent and attractive and while I do find it difficult to chat up someone at any given moment, I turn to Ms. Austen for advice in such matters.
"But then I have always supposed it to be my own fault-- because I will not take the trouble of practising. " (From Lizzie to Darcy regarding playing the piano and, in his case, making conversation)

Second, Optimus while you get points for creativity with a cactus, it sort of sets the standard really high. Where does the conversation go afterwards? Sometimes with stunts it's hard to pull away from the flash and actually get to an interesting conversation beyond "Hey, nice cactus." Also, true wit is better expressed through pulling hilarious tidbits from the moment at hand.

But being charming is a start.

*sidles up to Jay*

How YOU doin'?

I just saw a heartbreaking image of Jay pulling a lil' wagon with a cactus inside. Distraught.

Awww, because you created such an adorable image of Jay, all is forgiven and now I hope he chooses to live his life always pulling along a cactus.

And I know what you mean. It's just some guys (read, MOST) guys who pull stunts just want everyone's attention, not just one woman's. Keep It Simple Stupid, ya know?

Oh admin, I'll have to take the ferry to Morgansville, which is what they called Shelbyville in my day, and back then the ferry only cost a nickel! And in those days nickels had pictures of bumblebees on them. Give me five bees for a quarter, I'd say!

Now you can't get on a ferry without having some tranny offer you a good time 'below decks'. Oh the world these days...

Jay, you win so many points for dropping a Ghostbusters reference. But like I said, what you like is what you like. If you want a girl to pounce on you, then by all means, go find that girl and then I'm sure she'll pounce.

I was just trying to teach you how to flirt with the ladies that you may find interest in, but that don't "guide your hand," so to speak.

And trust me, it's not always easy to find someone at school that shares the same interest in you that also into you.

Little help here, okay? Just get me started!
*pushes you out of the nest* Does that help? Ha. Ahem..

I think the reason I'm projecting this advice on you is because a have several guy friends that are _wonderful_ but don't have the self-confidence (for a variety of different reasons) to go after any girls. This frustrates me because they sit with their hands on their laps while the douchebags go chatting up the women. *shudder* I try and help them out, but they still need encouragement, but I don't want to crowd them so I keep my mouth shut about 85% of the time. Soooo sorry I projected all of that onto you.

You're an adult; you can get your loving any way that you see fit.

But you must make the douchebags flee! I don't know you want him to go away.

Ha! Oh God do I try.

Trust me, the girl slowly nodding her head and pursing her lips (while he's yacking away about "this FUCKING AWESOME rager) and scanning the entire room and looking anywhere but his face while simultaneously do everything humanly possible to not come into physical contact with the douche is trying to get away, but politely trying to find an excuse. Granted, sometimes I'll just make an exit. But if you happen to see a lady in such duress I'd suggest making your way over there, The guy may think you're cock-blocking, but the lady will consider you the upholder of chivalry.

Hahaha.

You don't have to be a douche to stop a douche. You just... It'd be nice if you said hello, that's all. But generally, it does take the Zaphod character with the balls of steel to go up to a girl and grab her interest, but that doesn't mean that Arthur can't be the one with balls of steel.

And yea, some girls will roll their eyes and ignore you, but a true Tricia will appreciate your gesture a lot more than you realize.

You steal that Zooey Deschanel, Jay! Right out from both of Sam Rockwell's faces.
I have come to realize that I, in many ways, am rather Beeblebroxy. Charming, fascinating, prone to wild mood swings. Oh, and I mix a mean Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster.

I, in many ways, am rather Beeblebroxy. Charming, fascinating, prone to wild mood swings.

Duh, Rhyme. How many times have we discussed your game? It's about as poppin' as your flow. Or whatever you kids say these days.You play the "oh woe is me" card, but you end up working your magic with the quiet ladies.
Speaking of... How are things/ did things go with your Buffy lady from across the hall.

I'll remain in motion much longer than you want me to once acted upon.
So don't encourage me.

*nudges Jay* Get goin'.

Ok, Jay I'll give you that. It is really hard for you to approach when the ladies travel in groupings. But there are single ladies (Put a ring on it!) wandering around solo. I should know, I'm usually one of them. Check out bookstores, malls, galleries, coffee shops... Oh! The grocery store is a semi-decent place. You're good cause you're only in your thirties, so you've got a wide-range of scope without seeming... a little sketch. I start to get nervous (confused?) when a guy two decades older than me tries to see what I'm cooking.

I wish I could help you with the party thing, but if I knew how to remedy that dilemma I'd be using the cure myself. However, you have the added benefit of going to adult parties, where a guy won't say you should make out with him because you won a round of beer pong and then when you say "no thanks" he insists that you should be much more drunk at that point so you can say yes. Because that makes me feel real safe.

Yea, those are _my_ odds.

Charming. Absolutely charming.

Okay, someone who asked for help a few minutes ago turned out to be the daughter of someone who works at another branch. I was a bit obstructed but didn't see a ring in the glance I gave. She was wearing a bunch of wool and a scarf and glasses with chin-length dark brown hair.

It was kinda terrifying, actually. But maybe she'll come back for more!

Especially now that she knows I'm here.
(this is where I'd ask Phil to play that clip of Goose laughing hysterically)

Now I am still going out singing later, but I can't make any promises.

Yes, I will sing Boz Scaggs to a roomful of strangers without hesitation, but don't ask me to flirt with just one of them. That's intimidating.

I have a soft spot for "Iran." I just like saying "like a very hairy Jake Gyllenhaal to me," thought.

Oh Optimus, you're fun. I'm not sure if you enjoy the act of "put(ing) a ring on it" or the song (Single Ladies).

Also, I cannot tell you how happy I am that you are choosing to let a manipulative girl go about her merry (read: crazy ass) way. Too many of my guy friends who claim to not want drama are still drawn to the cray-cray ladies. And as a warning, a friend of mine is still messed up from the manipulative evil bitch that broke up with him a little while ago. She convinced him there was love, wanted him to get engaged, yadda yadda, she broke it off because she decided he was too boring. They were together for 2.5 years. She was controlling and a bitch the entire time. AND Miss Crazy herself is one of my roommates.

Yes!

Also, who is Phil But, ya know, yay for drunken confessions!

I'm the only one who hasn't heard this song, right?

Ah, once again, it becomes a game. Nine years ago someone was complaining that "Genie In A Bottle" refused to get out of her head, and I said, with relief, that I'd never heard it.

Plus, I'm not sure about this Phil unmasking. Sounds a little too tidy.

Oh my god. Middle school me loved "Genie in a Bottle." I was more of a Christina fan than Britney... Who would have guessed they'd both end up being whores. But when it really came down to it, Mandy Moore was my fav. And she turned out pretty much ok!

But Jay, I have to give you props for pulling out an anecdote from 9 years ago. Brilliant.

lol i love this song
im gonna be one of those douchebags who says i jizzed my pants for everything that happens now
suck it