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December 8, 2008 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | December 8, 2008 |

I love novelty CDs. They’re great, because you can always find them for under $5 in the used bin, and there’s usually one decent song on most of them. Even Jimmy Fallon managed one good song on his novelty songs album. “Idiot Boyfriend” is officially the only worthy contribution Fallon has ever made to pop culture. And then, of course, Adam Sandler has the shampoo-bottle-up-my-ass romantic song, which was fun to play for oblivious girlfriends when you were 23. Because you were kind of a jack-ass. Also, when you were 26, it was fun to play Tenacious D’s “Fuck Her Gently,” to a different girlfriend, because the one you had when you were 23 had already realized you were a jackass and left you, and “Fuck Her Gently,” is the perfect way to introduce that aspect of your personality to your new girlfriend.

Well, lucky you: You’ve finally managed to find another girlfriend, five years later, and along comes Andy Samberg’s comedy album and the new single, “Jizz in My Pants” (which debuted on “SNL” over the weekend) which is the perfect song to scare away your new girlfriend. Here’s what you do: You tell her that you heard this really great song, and that it makes you think of her. Then you really talk it up, flatter the hell out of her, and then drop this video on her and watch as she laughs kind of uneasily and you detect a small bit of hurt. That’s the seed, my friend, that will eventually swallow your relationship. And you can thank Andy Samberg. Also the fact that you’re kind of a tool.

Cause I'm an Idiot -- and I'm Your Boyfriend / Dustin Rowles

Industry | December 8, 2008 |

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.

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