web counter
 

I Had A Long John But No Silver: The Increasingly Ridiculous Cast Of New Year's Eve

By TK | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (25)

ludacris9.jpg

Garry Marshall’s New Year’s Eve is set to become one of the most spectacular, incredible, star-studding piles of rancid romcom crap in the history of cinema. Marshall already insulted the globe’s collective intelligence with the atrocious Valentine’s Day, an insipid, uninspired, unimaginative pile of “all you need is a good man/woman/goat” film making if there ever was one. Now, he’s making the spiritual whore-sister to it.

And the cast is absolutely nuts. The newest cast member is Chris “Ludacris” Bridges, who is desperately trying to find a breakout role, but has thus far been relegated to wise-cracking sidekick roles (2 Fast, 2 Furious, No Strings Attached). He was actually probably the best part of Crash, in a limited role again. I like the guy, actually. I think some of his music is amusing, and lyrically he’s surprisingly adept, albeit crude and puerile most of the time. He’s charismatic, funny, and I certinaly wish his career no ill. Now, he’s going back to romcoms — in New Year’s Eve, he’ll play a NYC cop who works in Time’s Square and… oh, seriously. Who gives a fuck.

No, really. WHO GIVES A FUCK.

For those of you who do, I’m gonna hit you in the mouth with a brick here’s the rest of the cast:

Abigail Breslin, Robert De Niro, Zac Efron, Ashton Kutcher, Lea Michele, Sarah Jessica Parker, Joey Bago’donuts, Michelle Pfeiffer, Mahatma Gandhi, Hilary Swank, Walter Matthau, Sienna Miller, Sofia Vergara, Til Schweiger, Darth Bane, Josh Duhamel, Assblaster McGee, Ice Cube, Ryan Seacrest, Bill Clinton, Alyssa Milano, Your Mom, Seth Meyers, Jessica Biel, Cary Grant, Katherine Heigl, Horace Pinker, Halle Berry and Carla Gugino.

(via The Playlist)









Each Time You Like, Share, Tweet or Stumble a Pajiba Post, An Angel Does the Paul Rudd Dance

← I Would Taste Like Golden Grahams and Fried Chicken | In The Aeroplane Over the Sea by Kim Cooper →









Comments

Who sees shit like this? Do you know one person that paid to see the last movie? I don't.

Posted by: Sean at March 23, 2011 1:58 AM

Can we stop calling De Niro a star yet? How many piles of shit can he make before his past glories no longer shelter him?

Posted by: John G. at March 23, 2011 2:12 AM

This will surely be Mahatma Ghandi's role of a lifetime.

Posted by: jk at March 23, 2011 3:21 AM

My mom is baking apple strudels and says you can't have any now. Your loss, TK, your loss.

Posted by: cinekat at March 23, 2011 4:28 AM

Can we stop calling De Niro a star yet? How many piles of shit can he make before his past glories no longer shelter him?

Posted by: John G. at March 23, 2011 2:12 AM

----------

This isn't De Niro. Neither was it De Niro in A Righteous Kill, any of the Fockershit, or any other pile of dross in recent years. It's not him; he died. Dunno who this hologram/android studio creature is, but I wouldn't worry about him - the real De Niro rests in his grave of greatness.

And is this the Your Mom that was in that thing I saw her in? I loved her in that.

Posted by: zeke the pig at March 23, 2011 5:37 AM

Personally I think this is a great move for Mr. McGee. I've been following his career since his seminal performance in Ass Crack to the Future Part 7: The Rodgering, and I think it's very brave of him to want to stretch his talent beyond what's required of him in his recurring role in the Put It Where It Doesn't Belong series.

Posted by: Groundloop at March 23, 2011 7:35 AM

Joey Bago'Donuts, Assblaster McGee, Mahatma Gandhi AND Your Mom are in the same movie?
Hell yes. Count me in.
Fuck the rest of those guys though.

Posted by: A-schaef at March 23, 2011 7:52 AM

I'm curious as to what Bobby Brown has in store for us these days as it obviously takes precedent over a role in this sparkling gem.

::Brown/Palin 2012::

Fingers crossed....

Posted by: beet salad at March 23, 2011 8:23 AM

Horace Pinker.
Brilliant.

Posted by: William at March 23, 2011 8:35 AM

I Had A Long John But No Silver: The Increasingly Ridiculous Ludicrous Cast Of New Year's Eve

There you go.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at March 23, 2011 9:37 AM

I'll see anything Cary Grant is in. This one is a double win since clearly he'll be playing a zombie.

Posted by: PaddyDog at March 23, 2011 9:59 AM

@zeke: In that case, he fits right in with several of the other persons on the list.

I liked the inclusion of Darth Bane the most. Wonder who'll be his apprentice?

Posted by: FabMax at March 23, 2011 10:02 AM

Cousin Larry?

Posted by: CptCrckpot at March 23, 2011 10:27 AM

Ashton and my mom? I've always wanted a father figure with a substantial Twitter following.

Posted by: branded at March 23, 2011 10:28 AM

I got the casting call for this. To do extra work. Now, I haven't been on a set since filming The Adjustment Bureau, but I STILL refused to be part of this.

Posted by: KatSings at March 23, 2011 10:40 AM

You know, my mom would be so adorable in a movie.

I'm guessing that Walter Matthau will be Cary Grant's zombie partner.

Posted by: tamatha at March 23, 2011 10:44 AM

I don't normally like zombie-themed entertainment, but I bet Cary Grant can make being undead look elegant and sophisticated.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at March 23, 2011 10:46 AM

KatSings, you truly have both taste and standards! (Which sadly does not bode well for you career-wise but entitles you to many free drinks if you ever find yourself in Central Europe.)

Posted by: cinekat at March 23, 2011 11:10 AM

Who "finds" themselves in Central Europe? If youre not from there, youre either just beggin to get your ass 10 kinds of killed by the Hostel folk, or you seriously want to get raped and sold into slavery.

Posted by: Illuminatus at March 23, 2011 11:26 AM

Oh for the halcyon days when "The Love Boat" was enough to keep these kinds of people occupied and out of our field of vision.

Posted by: , at March 23, 2011 11:26 AM

My mom would beat the shit out of everyone there. Except for Gandhi, maybe. Which would be weird, because she's all anti-violence, but I think she would do it for me if I asked really, really nicely and I enumerated the ways in which the world would be a better place without those people.

Posted by: figgy at March 23, 2011 11:30 AM

They gots JoeBags in this? Seriously, how much can JoeBags drink?

Posted by: Justin at March 23, 2011 11:39 AM

It's good to see Horace Pinker getting some film work. It seemed like all he could get was TV work for a while there.

Posted by: Paultera at March 23, 2011 12:04 PM

#1 Bill Clinton? He is doing Hangover 2, right?

#2 I would love to give Carla Gugino a spanking over her movie choices lately.

Posted by: maka at March 23, 2011 1:10 PM

Illuminatus, allow me to introduce you to my good friends Schnapps and Palinka.

Posted by: cinekat at March 24, 2011 8:53 AM