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May 31, 2007 |

By Daniel Carlson | Industry | May 31, 2007 |

It’s not so much that I’m surprised at Dane Cook’s continued rise to hacky fame; in the words of Judd Nelson’s John Bender, “The world’s an imperfect place.” Cook is a bland observational comic making observations that aren’t actually true, but his carefully manicured stubble and vintage Ts combine with his forced wackiness so well that it’s no wonder fraternities across this great land of ours have embraced the Danester as one of their own. He’s got a movie coming out called Good Luck Chuck (I would link to the trailer, but I like you too much to do it), in which he plays a guy named Chuck whose girlfriends all wind up getting engaged as soon as they break up with him, which eventually means women are actively seeking him out just so they can date him, dump him, and find their own eventual true love. The plot’s not entirely without merit, though any doubts the trailer may have left about the film’s inevitable crassness have been answered by one of the film’s teaser posters, seen here:


Yes, that’s a head in the corner. … Yeah.

Anyway, my point isn’t really about Good Luck Chuck, or even the fact that ads feature a faceless woman gently fellating the star in what one hopes isn’t a sign of things to come in movie ads, but the fact that Cook is in talks to star in a comedy called Bachelor No. 2 that follows almost exactly the same plot. The new film is about a character named Tank who takes girls out on purposefully awful dates in order to drive them back to the guys who dumped them. Do you see it? In both movies, Cook will play a guy who dates women in order to send them forward/back to a better relationship. It would be one thing if he kept playing amiable slackers or something, but to star in two films with such high-concept plots is just bizarre. It’s like Cook has gotten tired of stealing from Louis C.K. and is just going to steal from himself. Good riddance, I guess.

In this week’s remake news — there was probably once a time when I was surprised by the number of remakes coming out of Hollywood, but those days are long, long gone — Universal is developing a remake of 1939’s Midnight as a starring vehicle for America’s Favorite Blonde, Reese Witherspoon. The script will be written by Michael Arndt, who won on Oscar for writing the almost-too-quirky-but-saved-by-Steve-Carell Little Miss Sunshine. Arndt was the one who had the idea in the first place, citing the Claudette Colbert comedy as one of his favorite films and referring to the opportunity to update the film with Witherspoon as a “dream come true.” I have no idea how the new film will stack up against the original, which also starred John Barrymore and was co-written by Charles Brackett and Billy Wilder, but I have a feeling they’ll just throw in some Sufjan Stevens and call it a day.

Finally this morning, I bring you the trailer for Joshua, a psychological thriller about a terrifying little boy who starts screwing with his family and infant sister. You’d think that his parents would’ve known something was wrong when he started wearing a suit, since cinematic history offers solid proof that children in formalwear are nothing but vessels for the forces of darkness, but whatever:

Daniel Carlson is the managing editor of Pajiba and a low-level employee at a Hollywood industry magazine. You can visit his blog, Slowly Going Bald.

I Can't Even Think Of A Good Pajiba Pun. That's How Tired I Am Of Dane Cook.

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