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Jam. Jam. Here Comes the Man: Tyler Perry

He's Going to Put Us in "Motion." Eee-Ugh. / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | June 26, 2009 | Comments (10)

I hate to interrupt Michael Jackson Day on the planet Earth (and as Melissa noted in the comments last night, it’s really taking all the attention away from Joshua Jackson’s passing) with something as trivial as this, but the absurdity of it might temporarily distract you from every goddamn person you know talking about the death of MJ (personal favorite, “Jam” featuring the other MJ in the video). But, we can’t mourn the passing of one superstar without noting the continued rise of another, a man who dominates on television, on stage, and in the movie theaters.

I speak of Tyler Perry, of course, who blesses us with his presence twice yearly now (once in the Spring, once in the Fall) because it’s not like it takes a lot of time and effort to put a Tyler Perry movie together. Anyway, you’ve probably heard that he has a new movie coming out called I Can Do Bad All By Myself — the play it’s based on actually featured the very first appearance of Medea. It’ll be released on September 11th. And look what we have here: The “motion poster,” which is a newfangled little trick the studios are pulling (Terminator Salvation did this as well). I have no idea why such a thing is necessary, but I find it strangely laughable.


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Comments

that poster kinda creeps me out.

Posted by: gp at June 26, 2009 10:48 AM

That's exactly what I was thinking as I scrolled past it to write that exact same sentence, gp. It's creeping me out.

Especially that women's vacant and hollow wordless terror, like she's been implanted into the flower as part of some sick genetic experiment, or maybe by an evil flower cult sacrificed her to their flower god to give it eternal life, if you like horror more than scifi, and now all she can do is look out in agony whenever the flower blooms, imploring someone, anyone, to please end her existence of unfathomable pain and indescribable horrors. And the title refers to, like, a rogue warlock or something, who split off from his good-natured coven because he was ooky spooky and evil and they wouldn't help him with his blasphemous flower worship, and his parting words were FINE THEN, I CAN DO BAD ALL BY MYSELF.

All of which would probably still be better than a Tyler Perry production. Damn you, misleading movie poster!

Posted by: Nat at June 26, 2009 10:56 AM

Why, Mary J? Why?

Posted by: admin at June 26, 2009 11:00 AM

Not really digging this "all italics" format on the front page.

I mean, does Tyler Perry ruin everything?

Posted by: Jerce at June 26, 2009 11:06 AM

I concur.

I speak words, and then I digress.

Posted by: annoyingmouse at June 26, 2009 11:11 AM

Mr. Rowles, in listening to your constant attacks on Mr. Perry one thing is apparent. I liken it to a kid with snot in his nose that enjoys the sensation of inhaling and exhaling the snot as opposed to just blowing it out and being done with it.

Posted by: al pacino's baby at June 26, 2009 11:12 AM

They announced that Janet Jackson is going to be starring in Why Did I Get Married Too just recently, as well. Because we all need a little more Tyler Perry in our lives.

Posted by: Snath at June 26, 2009 11:57 AM

When I saw Tyler Perry in Star Trek, I actually said "Oh HELL no" out loud in the theatre. He makes my butt pucker with disdain.

And that is in no way comfortable.

Posted by: tf breakher at June 26, 2009 12:27 PM

"Feed me!"

-- Mean Yellow Flower From Outer Space

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at June 26, 2009 2:22 PM

I'm waiting to see how far Messiah Perry's destructive powers reach.

If Tyler Perry can make me hate the splendiferous Mary J. Blige, then his power is now absolute.

Posted by: Stacy D at June 27, 2009 8:17 AM