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I Bind You Sony From Doing Harm! Why We're Bummed 'The Craft' Is Being Remade

By Courtney Enlow | Trade News | May 14, 2015 |


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God. Dammit.

The Craft has bewitched Sony execs for a second time.

The studio is remaking the 1996 supernatural teen thriller, tapping up-and-coming horror filmmaker Leigh Janiak to write and direct the new version. Janiak will co-write the script with Phil Graziadei, the co-scribe on her breakthrough movie Honeymoon.

BUT. BUT BUT BUT. BUT NO!

Say what you will about its quality (FALSE, YOU CANNOT, IT IS PERFECT) The Craft is a really, really important movie for a lot of us. It’s our ’90s misfit witch movie and we love it. With its amazing soundtrack, fantastic cast who all deserved way better in cinematic life than they’ve been given and darkly fun atmosphere, this is a movie that exists in a specific bubble and it is wildly depressing to think of that bubble being popped and replaced with a millennial one. YOUTHS!

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And THEN the Hollywood Reporter had to go and make me feel bad about feeling bad.

The news of a female director coming on board to direct a female-centric feature project is welcome news to Hollywood, as it breaks after the studios have come under fire from the American Civil Liberties Union for “systemic failure to hire women directors at all levels of the film and television industry.” Janiak’s hiring was already weeks in the works; the filmmaker impressed execs with her take on a female empowerment tale.

BUT. BUT BUT BUT. BUT!

Of course I want a female director coming on board to direct a female-centric feature project. That’s fantastic wonderful news and maybe she’ll do an incredible job. But right now, I weep. I mourn for my perfect bubble.

I’m going to go watch it four times (“four would make a circle”—Rochelle, who is terrible at shapes) and re-read my own liveblog because I can. HAIL TO THE GUARDIANS OF THE WATCHTOWERS OF THE UNNECESSARY REMAKE.


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