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January 9, 2008 |

By Daniel Carlson | Industry | January 9, 2008 |

I recently took nearly two weeks off work and went home to Texas, where I unplugged from the shittacular machine that is strike-ruined Hollywood and did nothing but sleep, eat some damn good enchiladas, and watch Bourne movies until I passed out. Imagine my mild annoyance to find upon my return to California not only that labor and management had not resolved their fight, but that David Fincher is toying with the idea of doing Fight Club as a musical. Fight Club. As a musical. One of the best, smartest films of the 1990s. As a musical. I barely know what to say. This is like when your freshman philosophy professor makes you read Night and write a paper about theodicy. It’s like being smacked hard in the face by a world you thought you knew, a world that turns out to be cold and brutal and unforgiving. We’re out of new episodes of just about every TV show; “Lost” is about to return for a cruelly truncated season; and now Fight Club might be turned into a musical. Just … there are no words.

In Women You’ve Never Heard Of news: The new James Bond flick has recruited a pair of female castmembers, including the new “Bond girl,” which is something I thought we all stopped caring about a long time ago. Ukrainian actress Olga Kurylenko is going to play Camille, the girl who makes purty eyes at Bond and does her best to persuade him that sure, every one of his previous relationships has ended in murder or heartbreak or some terrible combination of the two, but this time, things will be different. Meanwhile, British actress Gemma Arterton has joined the cast as a fellow MI6 agent, one who will presumably be used as bait of some kind to lure Bond into a trap. Still, with Daniel Craig as Bond and Marc Forster at the helm, it can’t be too bad.

Are you a learning disabled housewife from the Midwest? Then you probably know all about the People’s Choice Awards that aired Tuesday night. Hell, you’re their People. You probably voted. For everyone else, the winners announced are a pretty thorough collection of some genuine crap. Best movie? Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End. Best musical group? Rascal Flatts. Best TV drama and comedy? “House” and “Two and a Half Men.” Just … there are no words.

This morning’s trailer watch brings a bit of a bright spot: It’s the clip for Forgetting Sarah Marshall, written by and starring Jason Segel, produced by Judd Apatow, and directed by first-time helmer Nicholas Stoller, who also wrote for “Undeclared.” It’s got the requisite cast, cameos, and apparent mix of sexual frustration and earnest emotion that are the hallmarks of Apatowian comedy. This could be one of the highlights of next summer:

Daniel Carlson is the managing editor of Pajiba and a low-level employee at a Hollywood industry magazine. He’s bummed but not surprised about the Landry-Tyra fallout. You can visit his blog, Slowly Going Bald.

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