I recently took nearly two weeks off work and went home to Texas, where I unplugged from the shittacular machine that is strike-ruined Hollywood and did nothing but sleep, eat some damn good enchiladas, and watch Bourne movies until I passed out. Imagine my mild annoyance to find upon my return to California not only that labor and management had not resolved their fight, but that David Fincher is toying with the idea of doing Fight Club as a musical. Fight Club. As a musical. One of the best, smartest films of the 1990s. As a musical. I barely know what to say. This is like when your freshman philosophy professor makes you read Night and write a paper about theodicy. It’s like being smacked hard in the face by a world you thought you knew, a world that turns out to be cold and brutal and unforgiving. We’re out of new episodes of just about every TV show; “Lost” is about to return for a cruelly truncated season; and now Fight Club might be turned into a musical. Just … there are no words.
In Women You’ve Never Heard Of news: The new James Bond flick has recruited a pair of female castmembers, including the new “Bond girl,” which is something I thought we all stopped caring about a long time ago. Ukrainian actress Olga Kurylenko is going to play Camille, the girl who makes purty eyes at Bond and does her best to persuade him that sure, every one of his previous relationships has ended in murder or heartbreak or some terrible combination of the two, but this time, things will be different. Meanwhile, British actress Gemma Arterton has joined the cast as a fellow MI6 agent, one who will presumably be used as bait of some kind to lure Bond into a trap. Still, with Daniel Craig as Bond and Marc Forster at the helm, it can’t be too bad.
Are you a learning disabled housewife from the Midwest? Then you probably know all about the People’s Choice Awards that aired Tuesday night. Hell, you’re their People. You probably voted. For everyone else, the winners announced are a pretty thorough collection of some genuine crap. Best movie? Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End. Best musical group? Rascal Flatts. Best TV drama and comedy? “House” and “Two and a Half Men.” Just … there are no words.
This morning’s trailer watch brings a bit of a bright spot: It’s the clip for Forgetting Sarah Marshall, written by and starring Jason Segel, produced by Judd Apatow, and directed by first-time helmer Nicholas Stoller, who also wrote for “Undeclared.” It’s got the requisite cast, cameos, and apparent mix of sexual frustration and earnest emotion that are the hallmarks of Apatowian comedy. This could be one of the highlights of next summer:
Daniel Carlson is the managing editor of Pajiba and a low-level employee at a Hollywood industry magazine. He’s bummed but not surprised about the Landry-Tyra fallout. You can visit his blog, Slowly Going Bald.
OK, I will say this now: I absolutely adore Jason Segel. I've had an epic crush on him since Freaks and Geeks. Add to that my girlcrush on Kristin Bell (honestly, who doesn't have one?) and the fact that Russel Brand is in this (from the trailer evidently playing himself)...
Can I preorder the DVD now?
Posted by: Alex the Odd at January 10, 2008 12:02 PM
Fight Club Musical, sounds like something troy McClure would star in.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at January 10, 2008 12:08 PM
My only hope for society is that to vote in the People's Choice Awards, you have to turn in your voter registration card for burning. It's the same blessed prayer than includes the wish that people calling in for "American Idol" votes on their cellphones suffer some residual radiation poisoning and are rendered sterile.
Fight Club: The Musical will probably be brilliant. Especially if they involve Chuck Palahniuk in the process. An entire song about "I am Jack's Smirking Revenge". "His Name is Bob". "Haven't Been Fucked Like That Since Grade School?" But then again, my favorite stage musicals involve swearing muppets, Nazi pigeons, and the Bat Boy.
I pray that you get incurable liver cancer and that it spreads to your spine and skeleton.
Posted by: Saint Nightwalker at January 10, 2008 12:11 PM
Fight Club: The Musical has the possibility of being truly awesome. I'm imagining it being similar to "West Side Story" with Tyler Durden doing leaps and twirls when he's convincing the narrator to join him. And the climax could be something like the Simpsons' musical "Streetcar!" with someone flying around on a wire to symbolize the narrator's anguish. Oooh, and maybe if they borrowed from the "South Pacific" movie and did "mood coloring" so the screen could be pink whenever Marla is around, and brown for the fighting ... the possibilities are endless!
Posted by: Betty at January 10, 2008 12:14 PM
"Way to insult 'tards"
Oh sweet irony, you are an unforgiving mistress.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at January 10, 2008 12:15 PM
Jason Segal's character was my favorite in Knocked Up. I find him to be incredibly sexy. Seriously. AtO, we may have to throw down over him.
I have to warn you, though. I am freakishly strong for my size.
Posted by: Kolby at January 10, 2008 12:19 PM
Oy, TK, lay off the Bond hate. Casino Royale saved Bond for me. There was Craig in a tiny bathing suit and my bizzare girl crush on Eva Green (which puzzles me). AND there were less horrible puns/quips. Also, the women weren't treated like such brainless dull bimbos. (sure one was a cheating bored wife of a criminally ugly criminal and the other was a duplicitous bitch, but at least they weren't "Dr. Christmas Jones")
Bring on Fight Club the musical I say. I don't mind. I mean we've already reached the 7th circle of Hell (Jessica Simpson movies), so why not keep digging?
Posted by: joker at January 10, 2008 12:25 PM
Seriously?! If there's gonna be a "Fight Club" musical, I want front row seats and I demand to be drenched in punch-juice. I want spit and teeth and sweat and... Fuckin' covered in an interactive stage-to-seat Gallagher and Gwar orgy of gore and... (out of breath) *pant*
Holy cow, I think I just made myself puke a tad.
Seriously though? A musical? Methinks it's gonna suck like a hoover. However, it would be awesome to see an entire song-and-dance number of "Haven't Been Fucked Like That Since Grade School". Absolutely brilliant, insertclevernamehere. I'll get started on costume designs...
Posted by: Skitimus Maximus at January 10, 2008 12:27 PM
Kolby and Alex...you guys could fight it out in Fight Club the musical. Casting will be at my place, tomorrow, 11pm. It will be a full rehearsal, but to make sure you can overcome any 'stage fright' it might be better nude. I think AtO has the edge though cuz she can deal with pain vs. reward as evidenced by her great back piece.
Posted by: PissBoy at January 10, 2008 12:34 PM
For chrissakes, people, quit hating on the midwest. We're not all a bunch of redneck rubes and *gasp* some of us read this website.
Posted by: sarah at January 10, 2008 12:34 PM
PissBoy: *snort* *snort*
*HI FIVE*
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at January 10, 2008 12:36 PM
I want to have so many of Jason Segel's giant-handed slaptastic babies.
Posted by: Julie at January 10, 2008 12:39 PM
And insertclevernamehere (from here on out i will call you Tweedle...cuz I think Tweedle is pretty clever)...i think "Haven't Been Fucked Like That Since Grade School" would be a great song. Marla rolls over and sort of sighs the verses to the song like Bjork's 'It's Oh So Quiet...'
"I feel great. What a day. What a mate. What a lay.
It makes me feel like I did that day in grade schoooooooooooooooooooolllll
(exhaling a drag from her Marlboror Red on the note)
He was 9. I was 10. No safe sex needed then because he had not yet fully become a maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnn.
Oh I haaaaaven't been fucked liked that since grade schoooooool. Been 20 years since I've felt so coooooool. But my life is shit, and I'm fed up with it. Will this man play me out like the foooooooolllll I ammmmmmmmmmmmmm?
Off with the shirt, up with my skirt, no janitors in the closet for this day...."
I need to keep writing this because it's gonna fucking rule!!!!!!!!
Posted by: PissBoy at January 10, 2008 12:43 PM
You seem to a have a penchant for musical theater my friend I can totally picture that.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at January 10, 2008 12:47 PM
It came to me mind in about 9 seconds. I can see it as being the most unenthusiastic tale of awkward sexual exploration in the history of musical performance. I'm pretty sure there aren't many OTHER songs in musical theater about awkward sexual exploration, but if there were, this one would win. The whole song would need to be sung with the delivery of the lines when she took all the sleeping pills...semi-tired/high/post-orgasmic. It could be gold. I can't believe I just got myself excited for this concept. I need to go punish myself in the fanboy corner.
Posted by: PissBoy at January 10, 2008 12:51 PM
Ooh! And they could pass out bars of soap and temporary tattoos of the chemical-burn kiss and exploding fat-sacks and holy crap I've lost the ability to use proper puncuation and grammer but it would also be awesome to have an audience member get invited up on stage each night to partake in the first night you have to fight rule and...
Jesus, I need more coffe and my doodle pad!
Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at January 10, 2008 12:53 PM
Is Meat Loaf still alive? He'd probably be willing to do Fight Club: the Musical, although I think Brad Pitt and Ed Norton might be a bit harder to get.
The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club The Musical. (Sorry that was a layup. a meatball over the plate. a very very obvious joke..)
How I met your Mother's Marshall set to Caddyshack songs? I am SO there!
Posted by: Amanda47 at January 10, 2008 12:54 PM
Night of the Living Dead: The Musical had rave reviews up here in Toronto. Though I didn't get to see it. Apparently the first 3 rows got drenched in fake blood. Therefore Fightclub:The musical could have some promise. It would be interesting to see it on stage. I would pay to see it. And don't forget the success of Avenue Q, which has yet to grace canada with it's presence!
Posted by: Jax at January 10, 2008 12:57 PM
"Apparently the first 3 rows got drenched in fake blood. ..."
AWESO...ah, wait, fake blood? Meh.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at January 10, 2008 1:00 PM
Is Fight Club the Musical like Silence of the Lambs the Musical? I have a cd of a Silence of the Lambs musical that I have yet to listen to.
Daniel Craig is a better Bond than Pierce Brosnan. i hated the movies with Brosnan. I loved Casino Royale.
Posted by: Melody at January 10, 2008 1:09 PM
Watch the movie again. The amount of bodily fluids bandied about? People will be getting Gwarred with blood, sweat, liposuctioned fat (eew it's all salty and warm...this guy ate a lot of pork!). The lady may not want to order the soup, you know what I'm saying?
I'm just waiting for the musical numbers dedicated to IKEA furniture, and the one featuring the penguin spirit animals.
Neil Patrick Harris as the Narrator kicking his own ass across the stage. Dan Fogler as Bob with the Bitchtits, because for added realism, they actually blow out his brains. For the finale, they actually blow up the theatre. Or else, they end up like The Bald Soprano and go out into the audience and start abusing everyone.
Ok, I snorted pretty hard at that one. I think I'll wanna see this, even though most of the surprises are thrown away in the trailer...
And nobody's done Bond better than Daniel Craig in a millenium - I'm already standing in line to see the next one. Working on my tan. And my british accent...
Posted by: malikvlc at January 10, 2008 1:21 PM
Alright. Here's the thing. I just got off the phone with Norton's people. He's down with the whole thing. For reals.
Yeah, I'm not entirely telling the truth. But how about this? I'll get a hold of Broderick and Nathan Lane. Huh? Imagine Lane in the giant-ass sunglasses and the comfy coffee-cup robe... It's the "Odd Couple", fer chrissake's! But with violence, blood, sweat and... and dancing! God, I'm salivating just thinking about it...
Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at January 10, 2008 1:26 PM
Strong words for the midwesterners on this one. Was it the extended stay in Texas that unleashed such feelings? Can't say that I blame you.
Fight Club the musical sounded awful until I read the input from the Pajibans. I'll accept it, but it really is something only Troy McClure should do.
Posted by: katy at January 10, 2008 1:45 PM
I LOVE Jason Segel!!! I am so glad he gets a bigger part finally! He was always my favorite in freaks and undeclared. I could do without the annoying lightning chick from heroes, however. And I like that people are trying to imagine Fight Club making a good musical, quite intriguing...but most likely going to be butchered.
Posted by: VeinsRHiways at January 10, 2008 1:49 PM
TK/joker:
You're both right. Craig is the best Bond since Connery (no, his acting was superb back then, but you can't deny that the man had it), and has really brought new life to the series. As much as I loved Casino Royale, though, there were moments when I really wanted to hit the fast forward button on my remote. I've seen it 3 times now and still haven't put my finger on exactly what it is that makes it slow down about halfway through. My suspicion is that I don't care a wit about poker, and those interminable cardplaying scenes where Bond and Le Chiffre exchange long, meaningful looks are kind of lost on me.
I do have to say though, Craig in a tiny bathing suit...not boring.
Posted by: Smokin at January 10, 2008 1:57 PM
Casino was mighty good, EXCEPT for that idiotic Poker thing. Oh boy, license to kill, my ass. Why don't you just give them all beer hats and have them burp and eat nachos while they have their little Texas Hold'em Hoedown (say that three times fast).
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at January 10, 2008 2:11 PM
can i ask any americans on this site, what do you all think of Russell Brand, if you've heard of him(he's in forgetting Sarah Marshall as the Himbo actor/musician new love intrest of veronica mars)
ANd the Mighty Boosh come to think of it?
have you a)seen it/him
b)enjoyed/accepted what you have seen?
I only ask cos Brand and the BBC3 TV hit The Mighty Boosh are huge over here with a massive fan base and such like and i wondered if, no offence to y'all, you actually got their relative, bizarre sense of humour?
Posted by: Nadine at January 10, 2008 2:14 PM
Ah the Midwest bashing...how pathetically lame. Now being a Midwesterner myself, I find a lot of it funny, but now it is just wearing thin. I am not particularly loyal this group, but honestly, why must you group me with these fools? Many in the Midwest will certainly fall into your categorizations, but I am but one of the few (but a larger group than you realize) that will defy the lowly norm. We may not all share a taste for fine films (I rather enjoyed PoTC even if it was nonsensical. There is just something about Johnny Depp that defies logic. Were he the lead actor in Two and a Half Men, I would actually watch that dreck.) but our hunger for snark is quite ample. Quit being such an elitist snob and realize that snark and sarcasm, while not our major export, will still grow in the vast, empty, and might I say flat, Midwest.
Btw, I would absolutely watch Fight Club: The Musical. Betty has the right ideas, although I despise West Side Story, this musical truly has a chance at greatness. I look forward to performing when the rights become available for public consumption.
Posted by: ScarletKnight at January 10, 2008 2:18 PM
Ha ha ha! Even though I love her, it's pretty hilarious to see someone on this site refer to the revered and holy Kristen Bell as the "annoying lighting chick from heroes." Ahhh, thanks VeinsRHiways, my black heart needed that chuckle.
By the way, what is up with your handle, dude? It leaves a distinct...visual.
so it's okay when trash like legally blonde and the wedding singer get turned into musicals because musicals are inherently trash, but when something edgy with a pixies song and dark lighting gets the treatment, we piss and moan?
i say let broadway try it. at worst it will be a hilarious joke that makes that 13-year-old who still wears her rent t-shirt from 5th grade cringe a little. at best, broadway will have a success on their hands that makes them realize that not every musical has to be puppies and flowers.
would you rather have sex and the city: the musical?
Posted by: vinniedelpino at January 10, 2008 2:24 PM
I don't really think anyone is trashing it Vinnie. It's more the thought that any time an adaptation has been done recently from the screen to the theater, it has sucked more ass that Andy Dick. Now, with Fincher supposedly behind his own material that may be different. I for one am busy writing the orignal music at this very moment. And anyway...who cares if we're trashing something...according to the headphones on my head right now 'We be to rap what key be to lock.'
And i thought they already did Sex and the City on broadway. It was called Little Shop of Horrors. Can't you imagine Kim Catrall as Mushnik, the redheaded chick as the dentist cuz she's a little manish, the brunette girl as audrey (wig needed of course) and Sarah Jessica Parker as someone's foot? I love Little Shop...I can't believe I just sullied that play with my horrid casting suggestion. maybe they could all star in a revival of Titanic? And drown. Early in the play. There. That'll work.
Posted by: PissBoy at January 10, 2008 2:36 PM
Pissboy - what parts would we be auditioning for? There's only one female role in the entire thing...
And I may not have a kick ass backpiece like Alex (seriously - it's coming along beautifully), but I do have one tattoo, and a scar above my left kneecap where a metal rod went through my leg. So, you know, pain schmain.
Posted by: Kolby at January 10, 2008 2:37 PM
Not every musical is puppies and flowers anymore though, I think we should recognize that. Avenue Q anyone? Hilarious.
And Nadine: I have heard of both and love love love Mighty Boosh. But I also studied in the UK, so I'm not sure if I can give my American roots props for my oh so good taste, haha.
boo: My faith in humanity would be restored completely if someone knew what my handle refers to, I would even give Kristen "I'm an evil lightning whore" Bell a chance.
Posted by: VeinsRHiways at January 10, 2008 2:37 PM
Well...apparently now it'll hafta be a 3-way,(Word!) cuz it's you, Alex, and Julie as well. The winner would be Marla, obviously. 1st runner up would be Marla's understudy and play the role of Angel Face (think Peter Pan type casting here). 2nd runner understudies for Angel Face and plays Chloe. (assuming Chloe had a part of course) I just love that the first defense was that you could take some pain and not at my blatant attempt at seeing nudity.
Posted by: PissBoy at January 10, 2008 2:45 PM
TK- Casino Royale, boring? What would you rather have? Bond windsurfing on a bluescreen, er a melting glacier? The invisible Aston Martin Vanish? Dr. Christmas FUCKING Jones? It wasn't perfect (Yes the card scene was slow, but there a few interludes like the fight with scary machete dudes and the poisonous martini.) but Casino Royale was a serious shot in the arm to a geriatric series. The parkour opening scene was out of control.
And because it bears mentioning once again, Daniel Craig and his fantabulous swimsuit.
I've almost made my husband toss out of our DVD collection the previous two Bond movies because they seem so goofy in contrast to Casino Royale.
Honestly, I do not understand the worship of Kristen Bell. Every time she opens her mouth, I want to slap her smarmy lips off.
I willingly surrender Jason Segal to you gals. I'd take Martin Starr over him any day. There was just something about Bill...
Please, please, please no Fight Club musical! Unless one of the numbers involves waltzing with IKEA coffee tables or a great barn-raising-type (ala Seven Brides for Seven Brothers) song about making liposuction soap.
And boo, who said we Southerners were willing to give up our throne as the reigning National Butt of Everyone's Jokes. Where would we be without the incest, moonshine, and toothless hillbilly references? It's our heritage, dammit.
Posted by: Alabamapink at January 10, 2008 2:48 PM
Jason Segal is MINE, ladies! I'm willing to throw down for him. That movie looks to be all kinds of funny - can't wait to see it. Who's the brunette - - is that the Jackie chick from That 70's Show?
Daniel Craig was a better Bond, but I never minded watching Pierce. He's one tasty morsel.
AND SERIOUSLY? Why all the midwest hate, Daniel? I live in Chicago, and besides eating more red meat than most other folks, we're pretty normal here. I swear. My boyfriend grew up ON A FARM IN CENTRAL ILLINOIS and he's perfectly functional. He can read and everything! I know the the folks on the coasts love to yuk it up at our expense, but seriously, if y'all are so clever, why not come up with some new material? This thing's been done - oh - about a gazillion times already on Pajiba.
Posted by: tt_marie at January 10, 2008 2:49 PM
ok,Veiny i could be totally wrong on this, but is it a Jim Morrison reference?
Posted by: Alabamapink at January 10, 2008 2:56 PM
I think FIGHT CLUB would work perfectly as a musical, seeing's how the book and movie are custom-made for homosexual men, anyway.
Posted by: Case at January 10, 2008 2:59 PM
No way! I grew up in the 90s, not the 70s haha. Although I definitely had a Doors phase for a second. If anyone remembers the certain episode of this genius show (there's your hint) I will let you have Jason Segel! No, no I won't. But I still might give Kristen Bell a chance. No, no, probably won't do that either. Well, it would at least bring me a little bit of joy while working in this awful windowless florescent lit hallway.
Posted by: VeinsRHiways at January 10, 2008 3:02 PM
Buffy the Vampire Slayer!
And I grew up in the 90s, too. But I like poetry, and god love, I actually gave Morrison a try.
Well I think the cause of Casino Royale's slowness was the bloody poker game and the love story. You normally don't get a love story in a Bond movie. It's usually more "Hello"-shag-sex pun-kill. Speaking of bad sex puns
Posted by: joker at January 10, 2008 3:09 PM
As a midwesterner living in the south, I would have to disagree that "..the Midwest is the new South." a) Everyone (and I mean EV-RY-1) in the Midwest does NOT have a huge fucking W sticker in the back window of their vehicle which is not always a truck.
b) Nobody in the Midwest refers to grandchildren as "grandyoung'ns" and will never use "dadgum" in a sentence.
c)And Midwesterners have generally traveled outside of their region (except for maybe Chicagoans) whereas Southerners are proud to have never crossed the Mason/Dixon line.
So quit bangin' on us. Just because the Midwest is the middle of America doesn't make us all "Middle Americans."
I am pretty excited with a movie with Jason Segel as a lead! I think he is so great in pretty much everything he does. I love how silly he is as Marshall on How I Met Your Mother.
Posted by: Erin at January 10, 2008 3:24 PM
Oh I appreciate him as a poet for sure: "
What can I read her
What can I read her
on a Sunday Morning
What can I do that will
somehow reach her
on a Sunday Morning
Lovely. Buffy, really? No. Way better.
And as someone who is always confusedly labeled as both midwestern and southern, I feel that southerners definitely win when it comes to the flava! But I am a traitor, living now in the far superior NW.
Posted by: VeinsRHiways at January 10, 2008 3:25 PM
I find Kristen Bell annoying at every possible level, like Sarah Michelle Gellar's cunt cousin or something.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at January 10, 2008 3:27 PM
Seriously, Daniel Craig is the the best thing to happen to the bond movies since Connery left. Casino Royal wasn't perfect, but it was a hell of a lot better than anything Pierce Brosnan ever did. And the bathing suit scene? Yummy.
I don't know how I feel about Fight Club on Broadway, I mean, it's probably going to blow, but the chances of it ever coming out to my neck of the woods are slim to none, so it's really no skin off of my back.
Posted by: KatyBelle at January 10, 2008 3:28 PM
Great link, joker. Mr. Pink and I made it through On Her Majesty's Secret Service the other night (He'd never seen it.), and there were more than a few groaners in that one.
Oh boo, I'm so relieved. Now I'm off to the hollar to tend to my still and shoot some 'possum for dinner. Yee Haw! Git-R-Done!
Posted by: Alabamapink at January 10, 2008 3:30 PM
yeah, it was a shot in the dark. i never watched it, but there was a huge cult following for that show. i just never got it.
better? well, it must remain a secret, because
me:tv knowledge::jessica alba:acting ability
Back to Fight Club: The Musical, I think the best number could possibly be the one called "Bitchtits". Think about the possibilities and the jazz hands...
PS. wsapnin - I have lived in the South nearly my entire life and I don't believe that I have ever heard grandchildren referred to as "grandyoung'ns" or the term "dadgum" being used in a serious sense. For the love of Pete, where are you?
Posted by: legib at January 10, 2008 3:37 PM
Kindred the Embraced as your TV show Veins???
Posted by: PissBoy at January 10, 2008 3:38 PM
I used to LOVE that show (Kindred) waaay back in high school. I totally forgot about it.
Posted by: tt_marie at January 10, 2008 3:43 PM
"Mr. Pink and I made it through On Her Majesty's Secret..."
I'll describe the first to things that immediately popped into my the first time:
WTF?!?!
Who is this assbag?
WTF? why is Mrs Peel hanging out with this tool?
In exactly that order.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at January 10, 2008 3:43 PM
Daniel, I don't like to be that person, but it was the shitty drama Grey's Anatomy that won the People's Choice award, not House.
I'll skip the Fight Club musical, since I didn't get the appeal of the film. All I remember is Bitch-tits and Brad Pitt making soap of out old lady fat or something. Ick.
Also disagree w/ the midwestern jokes. They're really not funny anymore.
Posted by: Brie at January 10, 2008 3:58 PM
You know B, for as much a tool as Lazenby was, OHMSS had some pretty fierce stunt sequences, like the ski chases and the car chase/race on ice. They were especially impressive for the time in which they were made.
Posted by: Alabamapink at January 10, 2008 4:00 PM
nooo, as much as I like all that vampire stuff, far off. something quirky and glorious, a show Juno wishes it was as good as. it's nothing important to the show or anything, just a lil' detail from one episode. soo good though.
Fight Club would be a cool musical done in a small theater in the round. Like that'd ever happen...
Posted by: VeinsRHiways at January 10, 2008 4:12 PM
My brain is truly unable to comprehend how, exactly, "Fight Club: The Musical" is going to work out. I mean, jesus, it's just not the kind of story that makes you want to break out in song. Whatever, though. I hate musicals anyway, and it's only a matter of time before some asshole destroys all the movies I love by putting them to godawful music. Do you think there'll be some sort of ridiculous dancing/fighting/no shirts scene in this musical? And what if someone slips on all the fake blood that's gotta end up on the stage? I just don't think this guy's seriously considered the logistics of this project.
Posted by: Cady at January 10, 2008 4:18 PM
Legib--the wsapnin's are just outside of Music City USA. And while most of the people here in the 'burbs are transplants, believe me, the local culture is still alive and well.
I was eating breakfast with my kids at a local greasyspoon and heard the old man at the next table tellin his friend that his "grandyoung'ns was over to the house yestiddy." Sorry, there is no way that I could have made that word up. And I hear 'dadgum' or it's variation 'dadgummit' probably 10x a week.
C'mon Pink, you know you say it. ;)
Posted by: wsapnin at January 10, 2008 4:29 PM
Re: Fight Club Musical
Now Meatloaf can reprise his role as Bob and bring the much-needed element of song to the part.
"His name is Robert Paulson....." (set to music)
For fuck's sake.
Posted by: Finn at January 10, 2008 4:33 PM
What is your problem with House?? How can it possibly be anywhere as bad as, let's say, Grey's Anatomy or ER? Hugh Laurie anyone?? Anyone?
Posted by: bonnie at January 10, 2008 4:38 PM
Nadine, there's love for The Mighty Boosh in Canada. "Fuzzy little man-peach" is part of my quotation rotation.
Posted by: Lauren at January 10, 2008 5:02 PM
Yay Hugh Laurie. I feel you, Bonnie. As House he's strangely hot. I think it's the sarcasm, I have a thing for sarcastic evil-minded bastards.
Posted by: joker at January 10, 2008 5:03 PM
and now Fight Club might be turned into a musical. Just ... there are no words.
So, it's really good then?
Just kidding. Though I can see how a Fight Club musical could really kick ass with the right team behind it.
Then again, I still want to adapt 28 Days Later as a stage musical, so what do I know?
RE "Fight Club Musical, sounds like something troy McClure would star in."
Word. Barbado wins the thread.
I liked the last Bond movie. Yeah, the card playing part was slow. Not sure why people sitting around playing cards wasn't riveting, but it wasn't, which makes me wonder why any form of poker playing is broadcast on TV. Who watches that crap?
Posted by: Slash at January 10, 2008 6:06 PM
I do have to say though, Craig in a tiny bathing suit...not boring.
Understatement of the year. Talk about a money shot - if that wasn't it, I don't know what the hell is.
Any sentence with Kristen Bell, cunt cousin, and Sarah Michelle Gellar in it is automatically awesome and wise. I'm with Alabamapink - most of the time I want to slap the smug off Kristen's face.
Posted by: Daphne at January 10, 2008 6:09 PM
It's probably "Hugh Laurie, everyone!". The problem is, House is a great character. House, on the other hand, is not constantly a great show. I'd vote for the guy, but never for the series.
Fight Club, The Musical. In lack of my own, I'll repeat your words: there are no words. And the thing about Troy McClure that made me snort some coffee, thank you very much.
Posted by: gargumma at January 10, 2008 6:43 PM
Nowadays, regional jokes of any kind are trite.
While Fight Club: The Musical would be awesome with Troy McClure, I think it would be even better with Max Power.
Posted by: The Stew at January 10, 2008 8:18 PM
Ah yes, Max Power, his commanding presence, his stern visage..his, name. Doubtful he'd deign to work on such a project though.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at January 10, 2008 8:33 PM
I could never hate Kristen Bell. I can't help it, she's so motherfucking adorable I want to put her in my pocket.
I'm personally enjoying the whole Fight Club: The Musical thread with ideas for songs and fight scenes, you guys are fucking awesome, and this should be a blog article in of itself! Come Pajiba do it!
Posted by: ph at January 10, 2008 10:51 PM
I don't know, the whole support group thing reminds me too much of that one scene from Rent, meaning noo thank you. But i suppose in the context of Fight Club, it would be very different. I just still find it hard to believe someone is legitimately thinking of going through with this. Yeah, it's been a great topic for commenting, but really? really???
Posted by: VeinsRHiways at January 11, 2008 12:16 AM
I love House, and Hugh Laurie... so i'm just just glad that won Best Drama instead of.. i don't know, One Tree Hill or whatever.
and oh my god, JASON SEGEL!!!
Posted by: dene at January 11, 2008 1:22 AM
How can you hate House? House rules! And it's even better by comparison with the Grey's Anatomy-s and Private Practice-s pieces of crap being shoved down our throats, receiving Golden Globes and so on.
In other thoughts, I vote that anyone who professed their hate for Kristen Bell receive a life-ban from commenting any of TV Whore's reviews from now on. Seth, you've been betrayed. But I am still faithful, I'll give the stirring speech at your funeral. The masses will avenge you.
Posted by: Irina at January 11, 2008 3:04 AM
For those who would like to slap Kirten Bell's "smug face": please watch season 1 of Veronica Mars and then tell me your opinion hasn't changed! She kills!!!!
And please, Pajiba staff, no more posts of Kirsten Bell/Summer Glau, it gets my hopes up for a V.Mars/Firefly rebirth..and then when I read the heading it just makes me want to weep.I finally saw Waitress and as decent as it was, Mr. Fillion wasn't playing Mal (aka his greatest character yet).
I know, I know, the past is the past..but what do we have to look forward to now?? gossip girl?!?
Posted by: io at January 11, 2008 4:19 AM
M'kay. I am so willing to throw down for Jason Segel but here are the rules:
1) No hair pulling
2) Only those spelling his name correctly are allowed to be in the running
3) Did I mention no hair pulling? Because it's kind of an important point for me right now.
I wouldn't put my money on me though... I'm a wuss at the moment - I punked out on my last tattoo session after half an hour (granted, I did then spend three days in bed with th flu) but I'll dose up on Vitamin C and soon I'll be ready to go. Oh yes.
The idea of Fight Club: the Musical! is growing on me I must say.. I think we have some really workable ideas here.
Tell me though, when are we going to cut the crap and create Pajiba Producion Co.? Think about it. It's the best idea anyone's ever had. Ever.
As a quick ps: thanks for the tattoo love :) It's always appreciated!
Posted by: Alex the Odd at January 11, 2008 5:27 AM
Good call Alex. We can discuss this at the first annual Pajiba Fest. (That's the name of the convention I've come up with just now...original i know.) Hope ur feeling better today!
Posted by: PissBoy at January 11, 2008 7:32 AM
I have a GIANT crush on Jason Segal. I (thankfully) started watching HIMYM pretty much exclusively for him. Big tall guy with sensitivity, raunchy sense of humor and just a smidge of psychosis. Raawrrrr!
The new Bond movie intrigues me... one of the biggest questions, for me, is: Will it be as incredibly fucking boring as the last one?
Fight Club: The Musical... is sort of strangely and disturbingly fascinating as a concept. OK, maybe just disturbing.
The People's Choice Awards actually occur? I kind of always thought that they were just commercials that never actually resulted in anything.