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Hugh Grant was Set to Replace Charlie Sheen on Two and a Half Men: A Mad Libs of Whaaaaaa?

By Courtney Enlow | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (16)



hugh-grant.jpg

I…just…he…do what now?

According to Deadline, Hugh Grant was set to replace Charlie Sheen on Two and a Half Men, but pulled out at the last minute, like Sheen used to do with the hookers in his more alert days.

Let’s take a look at the various angles this post could select:

- There’s the “Hugh Grant has stooped to replacing Charlie goddamn Sheen as a viable career option?” angle

- There’s the “Where exactly does Hugh Grant fit into the story about Jon Cryer and his giant son living with his loser brother?” angle

- There’s the “At least they have a love of the prosties in common” angle

- There’s the “I stab myself in the side of the head with my ‘Why Alec Baldwin is so cool’ blogger pencil because I feel as though I’ve stared into the blackness and can no longer feel feelings” angle

I choose positivity. I choose the “Hell, at least Duckie almost got to keep his job” angle. But, sadly, not entirely unlike with Andie, Duckie lost out in the end. But we, the people, are the winners victors (I can’t say the ‘w’ words. It’s just what he wants us to do.)

Seriously though. Hugh Grant.

1. Hugh Grant
2. Pandery, lowest common denominator sitcom
3. Part originated by Charlie Sheen portraying himself
4. Giant teen’s terrifying nightmare opening credits morph, a la latter-day Roseanne
5. Hugh Grant

I understand nothing. I literally cannot picture this strange new sitcom.

Luckily, I will not have to. Huzzah!









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Comments

My mind, she is blown.

How did they imagine pulling this off? Would the series suddenly shift into a bizarre Mirror-Universe where all the cast are suddenly ostensibly British? Then will the series just become intentionally more and more ridiculous (One of the dads starts dating a penguin, fat kid has to fight his evil twin to win back his family's love, a wandering troupe of feral Rockettes takes up residence in the den and holds raucous tap-dancing/blow parties late into the night) until the fictional world just up and explodes at the end of the final episode?

Because I think I would watch that, actually. Game on.

Posted by: StoatCat at May 12, 2011 2:43 PM

Charlie Sheen's character gets into a car crash that requires reconstructive facial surgery and somehow rewires his brain to change his accent.
Wink at the camera so the audience understands how ridiculous it is and carry on.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at May 12, 2011 2:50 PM

I'm with you J-Rob! Truth is stranger than fiction.
Maybe Cryer was gonna wake up and the last however fucking many years would of just been a dream.

Posted by: logan at May 12, 2011 3:06 PM

Grant would have to adopt a faux American accent, which would sound not at all convincing.

Or maybe he's their long-lost English relation, just over for Sheen's funeral and he decides to hang out for a few more seasons.

Posted by: The Wanderer at May 12, 2011 3:07 PM

Why in the howcome would Grant even consider a sitcom?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at May 12, 2011 3:20 PM

I love Hugh Grant. I DO. I cannot for the life of me, imagine this being an actual possibility. I REFUSE.

Posted by: Melody at May 12, 2011 3:51 PM

Thanks for that, The Wanderer...I was suddenly reminded of Grant trying to pull off an Italian American accent in Mickey Blue Eyes, and it made me smile.

But Grant on 2 1/2 men, forgidaboudit.

Posted by: EJ at May 12, 2011 4:03 PM

How would Hugh Grant (aka Ricky Gervais Sr.) fit into the show...hmmm....

Hugh Grant plays one of Evelyn Harper's (Holland Taylor) latest husband/love interest who hires Alan (Cryer) to work for him as his personal assistant. Alan is elated at first since his new job allows him to buy Charlie's old house. Charlie, meanwhile, is now on the run after being charged with statutory rape and murder, which he swears he didn't do but doesn't remember because he was drunk as skunk when it happened. Unfortunately Alan finds out that Hugh Grant is just as lecherous as Charlie when he catches him in a three way with Judith (Marin Hinkle) and Berta (Conchata Ferrell).

Alan threatens to expose him but is reluctant to when he finds out that his mother has just been diagnosed with a life threatening illness and any sudden shock could push her over the edge. Hugh seeing an opportunity uses Alan's new digs as his base of operations for all of his duplicitous chicanery.

Posted by: John W at May 12, 2011 4:30 PM

Was he going to be a cousin, like on Perfect Strangers? I miss that show.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at May 12, 2011 6:46 PM

Mrs Julien - They were offering him a million an episode....

Posted by: logan at May 12, 2011 7:10 PM

Is this the same Hugh Grant who back in the day was caught with a prostitute mere weeks before his big movie came out, and incidentally this went down in the middle of his relationship with Elizabeth Hurley? 1995 Elizabeth Hurley? The end credits to Austin Powers are worth the price of admission to several movies even though Mike Myers is in the frame Elizabeth Hurley?

So, tell me, where did this sudden non-lapse of judgment come from? Aliens trans-reversed his brain? Charley crazy-pants sucked up all the dumbshit powder? Perhaps Hugh got a better offer - say, a filmed menage with Paris & Perez, but, you know, arty because they'll post-process it into 3D.

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at May 12, 2011 7:42 PM

I definitely love the series and I want it to continue though. Sheen is a good actor but having him fired would certainly lessen enthusiasm with the show. I hope Kutcher will do great job.

Posted by: buyaionaccounts at May 13, 2011 3:30 AM

Ok, I had this all figured out, now they've gone and ruined it (and I don't even WATCH this frickin' show):

Charlie runs away with Rose (I think that's her name), so his money and house remain. While he's away, he is contacted by an old songwriter/washed-up popstar friend of his, Alex Fletcher (Grant reprising his role from "Music and Lyrics") who has broken things off with his tweaky girlfriend Sophie, and has come to LA to work on scoring a movie. Alex needs a place to stay, and Charlie offers to let him stay at the house. Jon Cryer's character (wtf-ever his name is) has to keep an eye on the house, and the randy Brit complicates matters considerably. Hilarity ensues!

Warner Brothers, write my check, please.

Posted by: dammitjanet at May 13, 2011 10:05 AM

Noooooo Charlie must die! And not a long, slow, painful,lingering death from Syphillus, but a quick, get him off out tv, fuck you, death.

Posted by: kirbyjay at May 13, 2011 10:14 AM

Not sure if this will work Ashton isnt really the party animal type but he could be a good fit because he can be funny and sorta awwe shucks at times but on two and a half men there was something about Sheen being the butt of every joke that just felt very real in conjunction with his real life and personality that it wouldd take a GREAT ACTOR to pull off!! Lets be honest the guy who gets married at 20-whatever to a 40+ year old and play house for like 7yrs isnt really that convincing as a womanizer!!

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