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How Many Overwrought, Action-Filled Cliches and Stock Phrases Can You Spot in the New Thor: Dark World Trailer?

By Dustin Rowles | Trade News | August 7, 2013 | Comments ()


thor-the-dark-world-trailer-defends-different-worlds.jpg

I got nothing against the first Thor movie: It was as good as you might expect from a generic action-movie template. It’s not a movie that stands up to any kind of scrutiny, however, and if you actually listen to what the actors are saying instead of gazing fondly into their deep-set blue eyes and admiring their long locks of beautiful hair, it all kind of caves in on itself. The trailer for Thor: The Dark World is the perfect example of that: Action movie trope after action movie trope, and overwrought action-movie line after action-movie line.

The delivery and the actors delivering the lines — Chris Hemsworth, Stellan Skarsgard, Natalie Portman, Tom Hiddleston, Idris Elba — kind of allow you to tune out to what is actually being said, which is a good thing since what is actually being said is meaningless, ponderous bullsh*t. The following ten lines from the trailer are something you hear in damn near any action movie:

1. “After all this time.”

2. “I wish I could trust you.”

3. “I gave you my word, I would return for you.”

4. “You face an enemy known only to a few.”

5. “You must be truly desperate to come to me for help.”

6. “If we do nothing, they will destroy us.”

7. “You even think about betraying him … and I’ll kill you.”

8. “We’re running out of time.”

9. “The very fabric of reality will be torn apart.”

10. “I’ll find a way to save us all.”

But I’ll grant you that it sure does look pretty and ‘splodey.




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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • Tristan Enseleit

    Keep in mind, folks, this is the guy that wrote a horrid article about how Heath Ledger being cast as the Joker (over Paul Bettany, whom we know as Iron Man's JARVIS or from his own bomb of a movie, Priest) was the biggest mistake of Christopher Nolan's career in directing. Look how that turned out, at the cost of an award-winning performance posthumously.

    So if those lines are heard in EVERY action generic action movie, why not actually do the work and find another movie in which each of those is spoken? Otherwise, this article just looks like schmutz written by a guy that isn't a fan of Marvel characters or comicbook movies. Any editor with a backbone would instruct you to go and back up your declarations with some sources there. So, prove those lines are in other movies, then. It might even bring some humor to the article instead of it coming off as an insult. There are a lot of Marvel fans coming off some disappointment at all the twists and letdowns of Iron Man 3 that are most likely looking forward to this next film in Marvel's Phase 2, so be careful.

  • TheOriginalMRod

    Thor always says hoaky stuff.

  • stardust

    I'm, sorry, what did you say, Dustin? All I saw was Loki looking like walking bad boy sex.

  • Scorptilicus

    So, why does the first Thor cave in on itself? I'm not quite sure what that even means. Plot holes cause it to collapse?

    Anyway, good points about the trailer. It is cliched as hell. Still looks glorious.

  • emmalita

    I saw the list and then watched the trailer and was all, "Thor - the Drinking Game."

  • peachykeen5014

    I feel like they may have just cut Natalie Portman out of her Episode II scenes in Naboo and pasted them in as Asgard.

  • Leelee

    I'm sorry, I can't take part in this discussion as all the dialogue was drowned out by my fangirling screams, heard only by dogs, when Hiddleston turned and blue-steeled at the camera.

  • katethegreat

    He is so, so pretty. I don't even know how he manages it.

  • THOR'S BRAIDS, THO.

  • So...context of the lines means nothing?

    Also, you want what, a Thor movie written by Jonathan Franzen? Two hours of ponderous discussions of the meaning of familial ties? It's a movie about a god who wields a magic (er...highly advanced science) hammer and flies, and who falls for blah Jane Foster over complete badass (not to mention eye-meltingly hot) Sif. Adjust your scales a bit there, big fella.

  • DataAngel

    Urgh. The things I do/watch for Christopher Eccleston.

  • Helo

    NEEDS MOAR DENNINGS.

  • Ugh, why can't she just replace Bland McBlanderson Portman? She's so bland.

  • emmalita

    She even looked bland punching Loki. No one should ever look bland punching the Hiddleston! They should look all torn up inside.

  • Sherry

    Thor naked from the waist up? I. Am. In. I *may* have pressed pause on that scene an unseemly amount of times for my lions, they are moistened. Hubba hubba. (Oh, there was dialogue, too? Huh.)

  • Green_Eggs_and_Hamster

    Those poor Lions. I know mine get super upset when they get all wet.

  • I was cringing, cringing, cringing, and then he took his shirt off and suddenly it's all WHO CARES, IT'S THOR.

    *sigh* My shallowness shames me sometimes.

  • Anne At Large

    and if you actually listen to what the actors are saying instead of gazing fondly into their deep-set blue eyes and admiring their long locks of beautiful hair

    Somebody is watching this wrong, Figgy, and I don't think it's us.

  • tmoney

    I will pay extra (XD) just so I can gaze upon the beauty of the gentlemen and their luxurious locks. Chris Hemsworth's hair alone is awe-inspiring.

  • Thorpunzel! Let down your luscious locks! Imma climb up them.

  • I can see how this might look dull to a straight dude. But Chris Hemsworth, Tom Hiddleston and Idris Elba being all demi-godish together in a movie is going to get my money, no matter how cliched it is.

  • blacksred

    the only thing that would make this better would be adding The Wolverine to the mix. Yum

  • hickoryduck

    I'm a straight woman and I feel nothing.

  • Maguita NYC

    Female Sexual Arousal Disorder is no laughing matter and there is proper treatment for that: Go see Thor and Pacific Rim. On a loop.

  • kirivinokur

    “The very fabric of reality will be torn apart!"

    That one's hard to say convincingly and to say OR watch with a straight face.

  • $65530708

    If the "fabric of reality" is an allusion to an article of Kat Denning's (or Tom Hiddlestion's for the ladies) clothing that "will be torn apart" than I'm all for it.

    Is Kat Dennings not is this one?

  • I saw her in the trailer, and she certainly has been talking about it on Twitter, so it is safe to say yes.

  • Guest

    Thanks (the trailer isn't working for me).

  • TherecanbeonlyoneAdmin

    Seriously, I was expecting Thor to look deep into Loki's eyes and tell him in a low rumble hitched by emotion, "I wish I knew how to quit you."

  • stardust

    No Thorki! Ew. Loan me some brain bleach, wouldja?

  • Resa Anderson

    You and me both, mister.

    Edit: Oh, "expecting". I thought you said "wishing and fantasizing and writing fanfic about it." My bad.

  • Afferbeck

    That reminds me of this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

  • emmalita

    I wish.

  • Samantha Klein

    Oh, go drink a V8, Dustin.

  • Sardonical

    ^this
    What a whiney vaginy.

  • Utopian

    God forbid we want a movie that actually says something new for a change, rather than rehash the most inane dialog we have been hearing for decades. How was the Lone Ranger, anyway?

  • firedmyass

    "God forbid."
    "Something new."
    "For a change."

    What original phrasing! Your bold and unexpected use of never-before-heard word combinations has inspired us all.

  • Utopian

    Right, because a comment on a blog and a MULTI MILLION DOLLAR production are one in the same. Your logic is flawless.

  • firedmyass

    Thank you! I will now compliment you: that is a lovely hat.*

    *I hope you are wearing a hat.

  • TherecanbeonlyoneAdmin

    Sandy whiney vaginy.

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