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How Could You, You Bastard? How Could You Do This To Me?

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (15)

patrick_dempsey_a_l.jpg

How could this happen?! (*slides papers off desk*). Why? Why? (*picks up file cabinet, throws it through window*). How could you do this to me, after six wonderful years together? Why would you leave me? (*picks up TV, smashes head through plasma screen*). DO I MEAN NOTHING TO YOU! What about all those late nights in the E.R.? When you were massaging some dude’s brain and I was massaging myself. Remember how you did with that scrunchy Zellwegger looking girl? And then you didn’t. And then you did again? Why you gotta do me this way? WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR LOVE? (*runs into traffic, jumps on hood of moving car, kicks in front window, fuckstarts some guy’s head*). We had something together, you and I? Don’t you leave on me, Foley? You’re too pretty not to be on my teevee every week and three times on DVR replays. Damn you. Damn you, McDreamy. Don’t you abandon me. Don’t you leave me like Rainbow Killer left me. Like the gay guy that everyone has already forgotten about. Like the homophobic dude that everyone has already forgotten about. And the lesbian character? What was her name? Who knows. (Who is left on this show, anyway? Is the Chief still there?)

What matters is that McDreamy may be leaving at the end of next season of “Grey’s Anatomy,” and how will I go on? How will you go on, America? What will we do without that guy from the movie where he rode away into the sunset on a lawn mower on our television every week? Where will our McDreams go? Why does God hate us so? No, TV Overlords. NO! (*shrugs*)

(Source: THR)










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Comments

I can't believe I just read this.

Posted by: dna at June 1, 2011 11:55 AM

Hey, you get cast in Transformers 3, you move on to bigger and better things. Like voice-overs for car commercials, and maybe you get the part as a dad in some "haunted house OMG they're taking my kids!" film.

Posted by: D-Day at June 1, 2011 12:02 PM


The mere fact that I clicked on a header incorporating a photo of an actor on a show I have never once watched tell me that this procrastination must end. My novel's not gonna write itself, now, is it?

Unless I decide to clean the oven....hmmm.

Posted by: klingonfree at June 1, 2011 12:04 PM

We could all use a sequel to Loverboy. Long, long overdue.

Posted by: dna at June 1, 2011 12:09 PM

I've never quite been able to grasp the fact that a guy who looks like Sean Penn and Bono had a love child together is considered "McDreamy".

Posted by: PaddyDog at June 1, 2011 12:16 PM

I've never quite been able to grasp the fact that a guy who looks like Sean Penn and Bono had a love child together is considered "McDreamy".

::reads sentence::
::looks at picture::
::reads sentence::
::looks at picture::

Holy fuck.

Posted by: The Other Agent Johnson at June 1, 2011 12:34 PM

Eh, he's all right. I kind of think the other guy (Eric Dane?) is hotter. {shrugs}

It's OK, Dustin. We love you. We'll get you through this.

Posted by: MM at June 1, 2011 12:50 PM

You know, whenever an ad for "Grey's Anatomy" comes on, I can't keep myself from saying, "Wait. That's still on?!" And when they were advertising the season finale, I thought, "It's not the series finale?!"

So yeah, I can't muster up any strong feelings about this news.

Posted by: tamatha at June 1, 2011 1:09 PM

We could all use a sequel to Loverboy. Long, long overdue.

I hear Kirstie Alley's available.

Posted by: mswas at June 1, 2011 1:47 PM

I gave up on this show a long time ago. As far as the McDreamy thing goes, I don't get that either. Dude always looks like he smelled a fart, or is that his "blue steel" look?

Posted by: TheBlackMenace at June 1, 2011 1:47 PM

"I've never quite been able to grasp the fact that a guy who looks like Sean Penn and Bono had a love child together is considered "McDreamy"

A to the men. Never thought this dude was cute.

Posted by: samantha t at June 1, 2011 2:06 PM

*reads all the comments*
*looks at photo*
*shrugs*

More for me anyway. I won't be pushing him out of bed.

Posted by: denesteak at June 1, 2011 2:11 PM

Hey now, go easy on the man, thanks to him I've been able to save 50% on shaving cream and razors for the last 4 years. Shall the golden age of encouraged stubble never end!

Posted by: LEROOOY at June 1, 2011 4:29 PM

Exactly what The Other Agent Johnson said. Wow.

Posted by: Shibuyama at June 1, 2011 9:09 PM

People forgot George? ...

Posted by: Jo at June 1, 2011 9:59 PM