Pajiba

With a metric assload of Arnie remakes, I'm surprised no bright spark has jumped on Hercules in New York yet.

For shame Hollywood. For shame.

Thank you, Pajiba, for reminding me TWICE today of all the naughty, dirty things I would like to do with the Statham.

second was Conan the Barbarian which I thought was silly and kind of boring

*twitch*

*grits teeth*

You disgust me. We're done here.

How can Hollywood take one of the best action movies of all time and turn it into a Bourne ripoff? These kinds of movies don't really work anymore and you are right most people will think it is Taken Part 2. I fucking loved the original as a kid, so much that the VHS I have doesn't even work anymore.

Will it end the same great way the original did? Not if they're going the less brawny route.

Will they have the classic one-liners? Stuff like "Let off some steam, Bennett" or "Don't disturb my friend, he's dead tired."? Doubt it.

Will they have a bodycount that leaves most third world dictators afraid? Nope.

So why do it?!

Of course the new guy would have to be sleek and Bourne-y. It's not like it would be easier for them to find another actor who can carry an entire fucking tree.

@ ,

So I hope the previous comments have answered your (pretty much rhetorical) question. If not, two other items for you to consider:

1. The main character's name is John Matrix.

2. The body count. Although estimates vary widely, there are at least 80 confirmed kills credited to Matrix, with dozens more that make it hard to come up with a specific total. At the time, I believe it was the record holder for highest body count. Basically, a movie that's as coked and roided up as everything else in the 80s.

So, yeah. go watch it...

comma, how can you not have seen Commando?

"Remember when I said I'd kill you last... I lied."

It may not make it into your Top Ten, but trust me: unlike with Julie and Conan, I guarantee you won't be bored.

Okay so as long as Chloe Moretz plays the daughter, and they re-write the daughter as a pint sized bad ass then I'll see this.

But I'm pissed off. This is one of my childhood films and they dont need to mess with it

Right?
It always frustrated me in the original that Alyssa is seen practising martial arts but her single sign of independence after being nabbed is getting out of that room towards the ends.
Just kicking ONE guy in the balls would have been enough. A slightly comedic subplot with the kid terrorising the kidnappers would be pretty decent, or at least showing her put up SOME sort of fight.
And as we all know, Chloe is the Lil'est bad ass...

Gonna quote Phil Anselmo here:

"FUCK NO".

Haahah omg Commando! win! re-watched this a few months ago for the lulz and it didn't disappoint. Gotta love Arnie trying valiantly to portray an all-american badass cop. And the shoot-em-up scene in the apartment early in the film is solid gold

Not only is the body count impressive, Arnie's methods are borderline sadistic. Off the top of my head I remember he snaps a neck, drops a guy off a cliff, impales someone on a glass table, blows off some limbs with super grenades, chops a dudes arm off and then pitchforks him, shoots countless people with various kinds of giant guns, blows up entire buildings filled with all sorts of evildoers and, of course, throws a fuckin 10 foot pipe through a guys chest. All the while delivering witty comments and going America on everyone's asses. God dammit I love this movie.

mini-commando starring Seth Green

This is so wrong.