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Hey! If You're Excited about the Upcoming Cycle of "American Idol," You're On the Wrong Site, Chief

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (9)



american-idol-denver-bikini-guy.jpg

Fox announced the impending mid-season schedule yesterday, and it looks something like this:

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Just replace the green brain matter with “American Idol,” which is set to explode in the glass helmet of America.

It’s hard to pinpoint exactly how much “American Idol” there will be, since there are two-hour specials, special nights, results extravaganzas, and very special episodes involving Randy Jackson and sh*tload of lubricant. What we do know is that it will predominantly air on Wednesday and Thursdays.

Meanwhile, “Glee” will be back on January 17th (dontcare), but only until March, at which point it will be replaced on the schedule by reruns of “The New Girl” followed by the return of Christian Slater’s “Breaking In,” which was cancelled and then resurrected (and it’s a fantastic show, so seek it out). Then “Glee” will eventually come out to torture those of you who continue to stick with it. New episodes of “The New Girl” and “Raising Hope” will continue to air in their usual 9 and 9:30 spots, except when Fox airs “Steven Tyler’s ‘American Idol’ Special: How Much Can One Man Fit Into His Mouth,” which will be 6 minutes long surrounded by 54 minutes of commercials and teasers.

Fridays will also remain the same: “Kitchen Nightmares” followed by the final season of “Fringe.”

What’s new? On Thursdays, “Bones” takes a hike for the winter, set to be replaced by the “Bones” spin-off, “The Finder,” until it runs its course and then “Bones” will come back in the Spring. Meanwhile, on Mondays, “Alcatraz” replaces “Terra Nova,” where it will run a few months and be replaced by “Touch,” in March. Tim Kring’s (“Heroes”) “Touch” stars Keifer Sutherland as a widower and single dad who discovers that his 11-year-old mute son possesses the ability to see things no one else can.

As for Sunday nights: Don’t ask me to keep up with their animated block. All I know is that “Napoleon Dynamite” the animated series will premiere on January 15th and presumably run until Seth MacFarlane comes up with another grand idea.









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Comments

I read all of that twice and I'm still not sure what is going on.

However, I'm plain tickled that Breaking In is coming back, because I liked it. I'm not ashamed.

Posted by: ZombieNurse at December 2, 2011 1:41 PM

I'd settle for looking like that in a bikini.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien's Ego at December 2, 2011 1:44 PM

You really want to make American Idol watchable again? It's real easy. Eliminate the call-in votes, replace the three overpaid judges with cheap and bitter B and C listed actors, arm them with over-sized mallets and have a magnificent gong mounted on the wall behind them.

Stay with me here....

If a potential singer really sucks, the judges on the panel may disqualify them after 30 seconds by slamming the gong- however after being disqualified contestants are not simply escorted off the stage. Nope. We've decided to up the ante in the name of entertainment and retroactive eugenics.

Upon the chiming of the gong, a trap door beneath the contestant will open up and drop the failed crooner into a deep well filled with starving Duggars and rabid Kardashians- why yes, we DO have night vision cameras down there. If by some miracle the warbler in question manages to defy the odds and claw their way to freedom, they have the option to either go home and lick their wounds OR they can try out again. But this time the peril is even worse as the elimination pit will now have The casts of Jersey Shore, The Real Housewives, and a Hilton.

Bear in mind, the show stands to eliminate virtually everyone who tries out. The morons get an automatic drop and the ones with actual talent get dropped by the envious judges. The smart ones will stay away while the dumb ones get flushed out of the gene pool. Viewers will be able to enjoy the live culling of the herd, and Chuck Barris gets a nice little residual check for what will eventually be the world's tackiest funeral.

Posted by: bleujayone at December 2, 2011 2:10 PM

Glee's new writing staff has really turned the show around. It's a whole lot better than last season. Too bad the non-target audience fans abandoned it when it turned to shit last year.

Posted by: Robert at December 2, 2011 2:40 PM

It just hit me. I don't watch anything on Fox. Wow, I'm even cooler than I thought.

Posted by: googergieger at December 2, 2011 2:51 PM

bleujayone, I've often said that the Idol show is only good for idle minds. Bringing it back as The Gong Show can only make it just barely watchable.

Posted by: The Wanderer at December 3, 2011 11:01 AM

"American Gong Show" FTW.

Is Jaye P. Morgan still alive?

Posted by: , at December 3, 2011 11:59 AM

i'm hoping Terra Nova gets a second season

Posted by: Utah Dynamo at December 3, 2011 6:38 PM

I read all of that twice and I'm still not sure what is going on.
p.s:if you interested, please check this exciting club for fun _seekcasual dot com_
Thank you very much.

Posted by: kengao at December 7, 2011 12:06 AM