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Here's Your Chance To Fulfill Your "Game Of Thrones" Sexual Fantasies In Real Life

By Dustin Rowles | Trade News | April 11, 2013 | Comments ()


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There's just ONE caveat: You must look like the Game of Thrones' Robb Stark. But if you meet that one qualification, you could have the opportunity to be locked away in a dungeon and have dirty, violent sex with "Daenerys Targaryen" on an Iron Throne replica in a very, very specific sexual role playing game. Grab your whips and maces.

To the Craigslist ad:

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Good God, people. There's something immediately terrifying about that. First of all, she doesn't want to know your name. Second of all, she wants you to play a character whose entire family she's just slain, and then she wants to have sex multiple times. On a throne. In your dirtiest furs. What would Daenerys do at the conclusion of that scenario? "I'm looking for a Stark in the streets but a wildling in the sheets," which you will be wrapped up in and dumped into the Gulf of Mexico.

I'm not saying she's plotting the perfect murder, but SHE IS PLOTTING THE PERFECT MURDER. If your naked body is found on a New Orleans' street curb with an empty chest cavity and dragon dragon scratches, I guess we know who to blame.

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(Source: Craigslist via The Daily Dot)



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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • competitivenonfiction

    I'm totally down with her doing what she needs to get her jollies off, but can't seem to get over the fact that she'd like a Robb look alike in a world where Jon Snow exists. What the hell woman? (Also, what's in the water at Winterfell, because they don't seem to come nearly as hot in the rest of Westeros?)

  • Was going to say that I really hope someone from the Krewe of Chewbacchus/P.U.E.W.C. sees then, but Daenerys Crazyborn up there is probably a dues-paying member.

    I just hope her Robb is ready to be fed to an alligator named Dragon when the fun times end.

  • Danar the Barbarian

    I for one applaud her efforts. Just, you know, let Robb live when you're done with him. Let your freak flag fly, Khaleesi!

  • She doesn't say you have to look like Robb Stark in the TV show, though, so if you can make a good case for why you're book-Robb, then you should be fine. Providing you want to have sex with a completely crazy stranger.

  • BRB, composing my own ad for a Ser Jorah lookalike.

  • VonnegutSlut

    I shall just quote Boyd Crowder for a little GoT/Justified crossover love in response to this:

    "FIRE IN THE HOLE!"

  • Optimus Rhyme

    Before anyone takes her up on this, the "Iron" Throne replica is made of fiberglass. It's not even iron! It completely ruins the fantasy.

  • Kristen Mc

    She should have just gotten the throne that's made of cocks. Then she wouldn't need no Robb Stark.

  • The Kitastrophe

    At least you don't have to wear your best furs, because getting Targaryen out of them is a bitch.

  • BWeaves

    Does she really think someone is going to want to have sex with her on a chair made of sharp pointy objects after she's killed their entire family, thrown them in a filthy dungeon, and not let them bathe? And that's just the fantasy bit. Does she really think someone is going to want to have sex with her, VD test unseen? Hell, photo unseen?

  • BobbFrapples

    I'm guessing she probably looks like the Mother of Dragons' grandmother.

  • foolsage

    I'm picturing Maegi.

  • PDamian

    Dammit, I thought the post was about a chance at Jason Momoa. That header pic is false advertising.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I concur, but I am grateful for the header pic.

  • $27019454

    Totally. So pissed right now.

  • L.O.V.E.

    I'm guessing the parting gift from this Mother of Dragons is burning urine.

  • BWeaves

    Wild fire.

  • aroorda

    A true dragon will never burn.

  • Joanne Smith

    Maya. I just agree... Florence`s report is astonishing, last week I got a top of the range Lotus Elise from having earned $5844 this-last/4 weeks an would you believe $10,000 lass-month. with-out any question its the best job Ive had. I actually started eight months/ago and straight away started bringin home over $83... p/h. I use this web-site, Big31.com

  • MrsAtaxxia

    Winner for best contextual comment.

  • NynjaSquirrel

    I'd want to see HER picture first ; p

  • manting

    Hilarious! Is it weird that I have an erection? I used to live in N'awlins and that is not even close the weirdest shit that goes down there. Read The Knockout Artist by Crews, he captures some of the sexual eccentricity that is New Orleans

  • $27019454

    I upvoted you because: boner.

  • Jamie Dello Stritto

    Hmm, puzzling. You used to live in New Orleans, but you call it N'awlins. Somethin' ain't right there.

  • manting

    Are you doubting my N.O boniifides? I used to live on the corner of Roberts and Perrier right behind vaqueros. I hung (uptown) at snake and Jakes, the original miss mae's, and le Bon Tons.

  • Jamie Dello Stritto

    Not doubting...just making fun of you for typing it. =)

  • JenVegas

    Seriously, I was going to say that this is probably not even close to the weirdest thing I've heard of happening in NOLa.

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