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Here's What You Missed this Weekend While You Were Drunk Dialing Your Ex

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (10)



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Per Variety, “Parks and Recreation” favorite, Nick Offerman — who, without a mustache, looks like the kind of toolbox that Nick Offerman with a mustache would beat up — is joining the Lionsgate teen comedy Gay Dude, along with his real-life wife, Megan Mullally, a.k.a., Tammy #1. The film is about two teenage boys whose friendship is tested when one of them comes out; Mulally will play the parent of the gay one (along with Gary Cole), while Offerman will parent the straight one. Huh, this exact scenario played out for me in high school, and I’m not proud to say I botched it, at least temporarily. How was I supposed to know his boy-shrines didn’t have the AIDS?

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After a round of intense negotiations, in which Sony threatened to pick up their Breaking Bad toys and go to a different channel, the studio has finally ironed out an agreement with AMC to extend “Breaking Bad” another 16 episodes, which could be aired as one long season or, more likely, two short seasons. Per Vulture, showrunner Vince Gilligan had nice things to say:

“It’s a funny irony — I’d hate to know the date of my own last day on earth, but I’m delighted to know what Walter White’s will be (episodically speaking). This is a great gift to me and to my wonderful writers. It’s knowledge which will allow us to properly build our story to a satisfying conclusion. Now, if we don’t manage to pull that off, we’ve got no one to blame but ourselves. Breaking Bad has been a dream job these past four years. Working with the best cast and crew in television has no doubt spoiled me for future projects. I’m lucky to get to work with them on sixteen more episodes, and I will always be grateful to both AMC and Sony Television, who from the beginning, believed in our show and supported me creatively and professionally. We have been able to take risks with “Breaking Bad,” which would not have been possible on other networks.”

My one request: If Walter White kicks it in the end, let it not be because his cancer returned. Let the man go down with dignity: In a barrage of bullets.

Speaking of “Breaking Bad,” the suddenly hugely in demand Bryan Cranston — whose upcoming films include Contagion, Drive, Total Recall, John Carter, Rock of Ages, Red Tails, World War Z, and Argo — wants to get in on the directing game, as well. He’s set to direct his own adapation of David Wiltse’s novel, Home Again, with “Breaking Bad” producer, Mark Johson set to do the same. The film, in Cranston’s own words (per Hollywood.com) is about:

“It’s basically a very strong father-son story, and a murder-mystery. An FBI agent who suddenly quits the department and takes his son and his wife and moves back to his hometown of Cascade, Nebraska, to rekindle family values and pay attention now. He’s been working for the FBI for years, so he’s been home sporadically. And his son is now sixteen, very sensitive, and looks upon his father like sort of a stranger… And then there’s a murder that happens in the little town that they move to, which kills [the father’s] whole stance on, ‘Things are better in these small towns!’ And then things unravel, and basically, the father and son come together at the end and save each other emotionally and literally.”

Can you believe it was just five years ago that Cranston was playing the father in “Malcolm in the Middle.” Has anyone had a bigger turnaround to their acting persona?

This has nothing to do with “Breaking Bad,” but according to Slashfilm, Kevin Smith announced at a Q&A in Montreal that his last film before he’s set to retire, the hockey flick, Hit Somebody, will actually be two films. The first part of the flick will follow the central hockey player’s early life through this childhood, and the second will cover the player — played by Nicolas Braun — once he makes it to the NHL. After the success of Red State (at least insomuch that Smith made a profit without studio involvement), I’m not in a position to doubt the man, but this sounds like a risky venture. I hope he pulls it off, mostly because I don’t look forward to the told-ya-so’s from every schmuck on the Internet who would doubt him.

Remember that Highlander remake we mentioned here, here, and here? Last we heard, the Fast Five director, Justin Lin, was attached. He has now dropped out, though he still has eyes set on Terminator 5, in addition to his duties on Fast and Furious 6: The Chafening. That’s good news only insomuch as it postpones the inevitable Highlander remake a little longer. But it will come, folks. It will come. Summit is already busy searching for a replacement, so says THR.

In October, director Tom Six will release Human Centipede II (Full Sequence), and he’s already got plans for a third film, which will be filmed entirely in the United States. He claims, per Empire, that the third one will “make the [second] one look like a Disney film.” Note that the second one has already been banned in the U.K. Note, also, that no one actually watches the damn films; we just like to gross our readers out with the coverage. But at this point, ass-to-mouth is the new Macarena. You wore out your welcome, buddy. It’s time to mine a new disgusting idea.

Finally, do you remember that Lone Ranger movie we’ve been dreading for a couple of years now? The one starring Armie Hammer (as the title character) and Johnny Depp as Tonto? It looks like it may not happen, after all. According to Deadline, Disney has halted production on the Gore Verbinski directed flick, citing the $250 million budget. $250 million! The entire television series, which ran from 1949 - 1957— probably ran less than $5 million. How does this film cost $250 million? It’s about two guys on horses? True Grit was about lots of guys on horses and it only costs $38 million to film. Disney hasn’t pulled the plug entirely; they are apparently looking for ways to cut costs. Here’s an idea: Pay people less.










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Comments

I think Walter White should die from an unfortunate car washing incident.

Posted by: admin at August 15, 2011 9:50 AM

that is so not what is usually meant by ass to mouth

Posted by: PyD at August 15, 2011 10:07 AM

...she's Tammy 2.

Posted by: Vanessa at August 15, 2011 10:36 AM

wants to get in on the directing game, as well

He's already directed two really good Breaking Bad episodes and directed several Malcom in the Middle episodes too. I think he'll do great.

Posted by: Paultera at August 15, 2011 10:47 AM

Gee last Week CHUD said Lone Ranger was dead. You guys need to step it up.

Posted by: logan at August 15, 2011 10:59 AM

Walter should OD on his own meth.

Posted by: Lucas at August 15, 2011 11:15 AM

red state is out?

Posted by: really at August 15, 2011 11:29 AM

Red State has been out for a while, but since it doesn't have studio backing, it doesn't have wide distribution. As I understand it, Smith is essentially shopping the movie around himself to small theaters and film festivals.

(It's actually being re-released to theaters and VOD this fall, including a one-week Oscar eligibility engagement in Los Angeles (?). He has, however, already turned a profit on the film after his Red State tour and after having sold distribution rights to the film. -- DR

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at August 15, 2011 11:32 AM

My friend and I have already decided that Walt should be the only one left alive at the end of the show, with everyone he ever cared about dead because of what he did.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at August 15, 2011 12:40 PM

**clears throat**
Megan Mullally, a.k.a., Tammy #2

Posted by: Hadar at August 15, 2011 4:39 PM