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Here Are Five Shirtless Reasons to Read This News Dump

By Dustin Rowles | Trade News | October 26, 2012 | Comments ()


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There were a lot of news stories this morning, and while many of them fit into my "Everything Old Is Crap Again" theme, these four were more suitable to my shirtless theme.

You're welcome.

I guess the best news of the bunch is word that there is some very scant speculation from Naomie Harris that someday, perhaps not too far into the distance future, Idris Elba could potentially take the James Bond role from Daniel Craig. Craig, however, has two more pics, and this is all pure conjecture. But it's fun conjecture that comes with shirtless Idris.

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In not so good news, according to The Playlist, Ryan Gosling has left the Logan's Run remake, which would've been his first huge tentpole picture. His Drive director, Nicholas Winding Refn, however, is still attached to direct. But just because Gosling has left doesn't mean you don't get a shirtless photo.

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Speaking of ditching projects, Matthew Vaughn has left the director's chair on the sequel to the X-Men prequel, First Class. Funnily enough, Fox is looking into hiring Bryan Singer -- the director of the first two X-Men movies -- to take over the gig. Let's celebrate with shirtless Fassbender (and McAvoy, in the header).

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Meanwhile, Adam Sandler has lined up his next project, as well. He'll star in Ridiculous 6, a Western he will star in and co-write along with frequent partner, Tim Herlihy. Undoubtedly, the other five slots will be filled by the usual Sandler hangers-on. This shirtless photo of Sandler is suitable for the occasion.

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Oh, I wouldn't leave you with that image burned into your brain. I'm not a cruel overlord. Here's some Fassbender to look at while you make your way to your bunk.

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • Adrienne Marie

    I'm not gonna lie... I really, really didn't get the Fassbender love.... until right now. The de-pantsing picture? I think I licked my screen. Good lord.

    And god DAMN, Idris Elba is one fine man.

  • Mrs. Julien

    This turned into both a lusty and contemplative discussion of men's bodies. How very Pajiba of you. I'm not a Fassbendite, but that whole jeans dangling precariously from hips thing? That's very aesthetically pleasing. Pleasing starts with a P which rhymes with C and stands for Craig. Look at that! Three steps!

    Greasy McAvoy? Whatever. I'd rather dust off Elba. That is a man.

  • I am very surprised at the lust McAvoy's pic inspired in me. He's never done a thing for me--too small. I like big, meaty men like Russell Crowe. [*pauses to control my panting*] For me, the appeal of his Gladiator thighs, his arms and shoulders, [heavy and manly without being gym-sculpted] his chest and back, and even his ass are not mitigated one bit by the occasional chunk he sports. Sincerely though, it's Russell's expressive face [a lovely/handsome combination of rugged masculinity, intelligence, and sensitivity] and immense talent that makes him catnip to me; his physicality just adds to my appreciation. Meow!

  • Mrs. Julien

    Not Russell Crowe per see, but I know what you mean.

  • BlackRabbit

    Ok, so when do we get the topless women photos. You know, fair and balanced? I'll admit as a straight guy I can admire a fit fella, but that's more "damn I wish I looked like that" envy.

  • Bedewcrock

    Random question: Is Matthew Vaughn the father of January Jones' baby and that's why he stepped down for the next X-Men movie? Anyone?

  • carrie

    find a pic of January Jones'son and you will see that he is a lookalike of Jason Sudeikis (Jones'ex-boyfriend)

  • $27019454

    I say God DAMN!

  • Jannymac

    Loins and forearms and pecs...oh my

  • John G.

    Michael Fassbender's skinny hips in steam is making me gay.

  • Slash

    Fassbender must not like pants very much, either. And there ain't nothin' wrong with that.

  • Leelee

    God bless this post and all who sail in her.

  • BierceAmbrose

    "Huge tentpole picture", plus, you know, these pictures? Something you're trying to come out with, dear overlord?

  • Laura

    No shirtless Olyphant? For shame!

  • llp

    That picture of McAvoy is going to get me through a long, looonnng day of office drudgery.

  • BabyBearStrikesAgain

    Uhh... What was I gonna say again?

    *drool*

    Ah, yeah....Nevermind.

    I'm gonna go look at Fassbender's hips again.

  • tinad5

    Let me love you James McAvoy.

  • I never knew James McAvoy could turn me on but I'm pretty sure I would be legs-akimbo if he came at me like that.

  • llp

    Legs-akimbo - glorious.

  • Quatermain

    When I was 18/19 I looked like the first four guys, now, in my mid-thirties, I look more like Sandler, except with more hair and more tattoos. Time, gravity, and beer are cruel mistresses.

  • Jemiah Jefferson

    Don't blame time - blame the fact that you probably have stuff to do besides working out, whereas these oiled-up lovelies really don't. They have to make their bodies look like this; it's their job (and our joy). If it makes you sad, just think about having to work out six to eight hours a day, every day - and if that sounds like something that'd be worth it to you, go for it. Otherwise, don't feel bad, and hand me a beer...

  • Quatermain

    Here you go. You want a cigar, too? I just got some in and they're pretty good.

  • Haystacks

    As a woman, I share the frustrations of being compared to a perfect body. It blows chunks.

  • BWeaves

    I'm a straight woman, but men's bodies totally turn me off. I'd much rather look at topless women.

    Please tell me I'm not the only straight woman who feels this way?

  • Ben

    I'm a straight man and I'm getting turned on by these pics (Well not the Sandler one) I think there is something wrong with you.

  • MB

    I think it's because women's bodies are typically more sexualized so they more easily evoke a sexual response in some of us. I mean, I stumbled upon late-night showtime and cinemax softcore when I was 8. So growing up, everything I knew about sex came from that world where the woman was the focus, boobs=SEX! and men were just facilitators. Now I can see a picture of an attractive man and appreciate it, but I don't find it as sexy as a similar picture of a woman.

  • lonolove

    While I love looking at men's bodies, I understand where you are coming from. Apparently most men get turned on by only women, but women get turned on by EVERYTHING! Truth. I read the articles.

  • marya

    You're on to something. The only photos above that turn me on have implied action in them - there are clothes coming off, there's predatory stalking, there's....whatever Fassbender is doing with his pelvis to that kitchen cabinet.

    So the difference is, guys' bodies are not inherently sexy to look at. It's imagining what they will do with them momentarily.

    Boobs, though? Inherently sexy.

  • BabyBearStrikesAgain

    Aesthetically speaking speaking women's bodies are more attractive. However, when I see large manly shoulders and chest, especially with just enough furry? My reptile brain just goes nuts.

  • Natallica

    This! I'm not turned on by all shirtless men pictures, but I do get tingly with ample shoulders and hairy chests. Oh, and the forearms are a plus, too. That said, I also like to look and admire girls' bodies. And, also, I think we girls can be more comfortable admiring women's bodies, than men doing the same with other men.

  • VonnegutSlut

    The forearms, Godtopus help me, the FOREARMS!!! I'll never be able to get over how ridiculously I love the manly forearms!!!

  • Maguita NYC

    Shirt-sleeves rolled-up, glorious forearm-porn on...

    Also, @BWeaves I don't get the dislike of men's bodies, but everyone gets turned on by different imagery.

    I may be one of the few women who gets turned on by hot men kissing..?

  • Me too but he MUST have broad shoulders. And Gladiator thighs.

  • Anna von Beav

    mmmmm gladiator thighs

  • PerpetualIntern

    Mmmm moist lions.

  • Neon

    BWeaves, I can only throw you half a rope here ... I'm a straight woman, and I like to look at topless women too. But I also like to look at shirtless men.

  • Anna von Beav

    You'll get no help from me, I love mens' bodies*. The shoulders, and the arms, and the pecs, and the waists, and the hips, and the bums, and the vee, and the legs, and oh myyyyy. Love 'em.

    *Well, not Sandler's.

  • BrassCupcake

    If you are looking at the pics of Fassbender and NOT getting a warm and fuzzy feeling in your special purpose...you may not be a straight woman.

  • Irina

    Fish Tank is worth watching for that smoking Fassbender .gif alone (bad pun intended, my brain turned to mush three shirtless pics ago so I do have an excuse).

  • Groundloop

    Sandler's torso looks like a Prometheus engineer with bunny eyes.

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