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September 5, 2008 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | September 5, 2008 |

Hellraiser_09.jpgWhen I was 13, while other Dads and sons were out throwing the ball around and playing grab-ass with the coeds at the mall, my dead gay father took me and a friend to see Hellraiser, because Hellraiser was Rated R for rock-your-face-off blood and guts. Because back in the day, there was no such thing as a PG-13 horror film, which is what God intended, and which also allowed me an occasional moment of junior-high popularity, being the only guy in my age bracket able to see Rated R horror films. It’s called a competitive advantage. Chicks dig a guy who can relate the story of a zombie being chased by demons escaped from a sado-masochistic hell.

God, that movie was awesome.

Anyway, it’s being remade, that much we know. Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunstan (The Feast trilogy — yeah, there were 3!) have been tapped to write the script. Who will direct and who will ultimately play Pinhead is still an open question, but the remake does have the blessing of Clive Barker, who discussed it (along with the Candyman remake) with MTV, admitting that later installments of the previous Hellraiser franchise were shitty, profit-motivated sequels. He also had a word about the current state of horror films:

Not only does a memorable horror movie need a good script, but it needs heart-stopping scares, argues the filmmaker. You can’t hold anything back and that’s why Barker is opposed to PG-13 horror. He said if he has his way, the new “Hellraiser” and “Candyman” flicks won’t follow the same trend as PG-13 remakes such as “The Eye” and “Prom Night.”

“It’s one of the most disgusting developments in the last few years,” Barker said of toned-down horror. “The whole notion of a PG-13 horror movie to me is a contradiction in terms. It’s like having a XXX Disney picture. It doesn’t work.”

Well, clearly Barker hasn’t seen Fisterbell or my favorite, Fucking Goofy, but the point remains: Give us blood, or give us death. Or both. And lots of it.

Why Not / Dustin Rowles

Industry | September 5, 2008 |

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.

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