Rainbow Killer Continues Assault on Rainbows
Bad Deals / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | September 17, 2008 | Comments (14)

katherine_heigl300b.jpgKatherine Heigl is set to spread those wings, y’all. Our little mush-mouthed harsh-mellower is moving on to other genres. She has signed on to a movie called Drawn Together, which is sort of a shitty title to take, given the potential confusion with the Comedy Central animated series. According to THR, it’s an action pic (with romantic-comedy elements, of course). You know what that means, right? Rainbow Killer karate chops. Heee-yaw!

Plot details are apparently top secret (i.e., there aren’t any yet), except for this: “The film centers on an electronics designer who meets the woman of his dreams, only to find out that she’s not who she seems to be.” That’s right: Turns out, she’s a mouthy little hypocrite with a nasty disposition. Two writers, Keith Merryman and David A. Newman, have been attached as writers. Their resume is blank, but for a romantic comedy coming out next year and a CW-show based on the movie, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.

Wait! They’re making a television show based on the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days? Ouch. My soul. Another hole. I think there are officially bigger problems now than Katherine Heigl: Action Star.


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Comments

So, is she playing Clara, the racist princess, or Foxxy "Shaquafafa" Love, the black never-was pop star?

Posted by: Robert at September 17, 2008 10:55 AM

"The film centers on an electronics designer who meets the woman of his dreams, only to find out that she's not who she seems to be."

She's a robot! Hilarity abounds.

A tv show based on that movie? People have officially run out of ideas.

Posted by: Carrie at September 17, 2008 11:10 AM

So, is she playing Clara, the racist princess, or Foxxy "Shaquafafa" Love, the black never-was pop star?

Posted by: Robert at September 17, 2008 10:55 AM

-------

La-La-La-La-Labia!

Sorry, I had to do that.

Maybe she's Waldorf?

Posted by: Kayanne at September 17, 2008 11:10 AM

Pretty exterior, heinous interior and tentacled hoo-hah? Man, she is Princess Clara.

Posted by: firedmyass at September 17, 2008 11:24 AM

So they're gonna make: "How To Make Barbado PUKE in 10 Seconds..."

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 17, 2008 11:28 AM

"The film centers on an electronics designer who meets the woman of his dreams, only to find out that she's not who she seems to be.

She's a robot! Hilarity abounds."

Actually, that was the plot of one of the "Love American Style" segments. It was done it 3 acts. Act 1: They marry. Act 2: They meet and date. Act 3: Two scientists finish wiring something, and when the camera pulls back, you see it's a hot chick. One of the scientists says, "How shall we test it?"

Hum, this sounds better than the non-existent plot of the Katherine Heimlich movie.

Posted by: BWeaves at September 17, 2008 11:35 AM

If she ends up being a secret agent, I'll bet her weapons of choice would be flicking lit cigarettes and large amounts of disdain.

Posted by: branded at September 17, 2008 11:40 AM

Everyday, millions of rainbows are savagely murdered in cold blood. Millions of rainbow children are left without parents. But you can put a stop to this by making a donation to the "Please Shut This Yappy Bitch Up" foundation. Your donations will go towards ensuring that Rainbow Killers everywhere are bound, gagged, sealed in vaults and thrown into the ocean where we no longer have to suffer through their shitty romantic comedies. You can make a difference.

(And for the record, this bitch it TOTALLY Toot.)

Posted by: Jeremy at September 17, 2008 11:51 AM

I think she could totally have a grasp on the role of Cousin Bleh.

Posted by: Miss_E at September 17, 2008 11:54 AM

None of the above. She's going to play the bag of whores that has to be stolen from Al-Queda and destroyed before a classroom of first graders is exposed to a gonorrhea-infused strain of Hepatitis Q in what would otherwise become the worst incident of premeditated terroristic biological warfare in human history. One of the third graders, who will have a psychic link to ho'bag, will fingerpaint a premonition in the form of a rainbow... dying.

And all of this, of course, is what I'm salaried to think about every day.

Posted by: J_Capri at September 17, 2008 11:56 AM

(And for the record, this bitch it TOTALLY Toot.)

In other words, she thinks the role is Oscar bait because she has to gain weight and uglify herself, thereby making the material more challenging and compelling than the writers of the show that made her career could ever dream of creating? I buy that.

Posted by: Robert at September 17, 2008 1:20 PM

She would best be suited as Clara. She's the only one racist enough for the part. Toot is too good for her.

Posted by: Brie at September 17, 2008 3:11 PM

This movie sounds oddly similar...isn't this somewhere along the same lines as that Uma Thurman action hero romantic comedy?

*sigh*

I hate movies.

Posted by: Amanda at September 17, 2008 5:19 PM

My mom told me she hates Judd Apatow so I gave her a gold star for the day.

Posted by: Devo at September 18, 2008 1:13 AM