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Hear Me Now And Believe Me Later: Pain & Gain Trailer Hits The Web

By Jodi Clager | Trade News | December 20, 2012 | Comments ()


212933-Pain-and-Gain.jpg

Damn it. I'm disappointed in myself, you know? I just watched the trailer for Pain & Gain and rolled my eyes at the slow motion shots, the walking away from an explosion, the women in bikinis, and the abundance of bullets. Then you hear the dialogue and, damn it, the f*cking thing looks kind of funny. I might watch a Michael Bay movie on purpose. I guess it's all right. Tell me it's alright!

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You see?? The childlike idiocy of the body builders, played by Mark Wahlberg, Dwayne Johnson, and Anthony Mackie, makes for giggles and Bay knows his explosions. Damn it. I'll put myself in the corner. Then I'll get out of the corner on April 26, 2013 and line Bay's pockets with more money for penis cream or whatever he buys. DAMN IT.



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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • Nadine

    I'm not ashamed to say I will both watch that and love it. Mark Wahlberg playing the painfully earnest not so bright anti-hero is basically what he does better than any single thing, at all.

  • Micheal Bay's Penis

    I’ll get out of the corner on April 26, 2013 and line Bay’s pockets with more money for penis cream or whatever he buys

    The Master does not purchase "penis cream" or anything else to enlarge me. As I've said before, he finds me entirely adequate for his goal of "banging actresses and models." Thank you for listening.

  • True_Blue

    Solution--wait until this movie hits dollar theaters. Then you can pay for a Michael Bay movie while minimizing your contribution to his purchase of penis cream (or whatever).

  • Fabius_Maximus

    No

  • googergieger

    Well it happened. Something was introduced to the world that is SO gay, everything else is now straight by comparison.

    Bring on the spider caves and women udders.

  • Pajiba_Pragmatist

    This looks AWESOME!!!!!!!

  • rumcove

    People need to read up on the real story because it's about as sick as it comes.

  • Blake

    Is that a Fiero? A 91 Mustang would have been more appropriate.

    Side Note: Why Sleigh Bells? Why license your music to garbage like this?

  • Getting paid for your art is so lame.

  • BWeaves

    This is not my kind of movie, and I'm soooo going to see it.

    Hum? The Sun Gym Gang Murders?

    http://www.miaminewtimes.com/1...

  • Puddin

    Wholly crap. I had to come back here over an hour later to tell you that I wasted halff my morning reading that Miami New Times article. That is INSANE.

  • BWeaves

    Yeah, me too. I can't believe it's a real story. Holy crap, is right.

  • Mrs. Julien

    a. Ed Harris? God, I hope klingonfree isn't here to see this.
    b. I LOVE The Rock and if'n he ever makes a decent movie I will show up to see it. For now, I'll lust from a theoretical distance.

    c. NOBODY should have traps that developed EVER. No neck monsters!

    d. I'm still able to comment from work.

    e. I should very much like to punch Marky Mark (with impunity [and since when isn't there is 'g' in there: impugn - impunity?]).

    Now, if you'll excuse me, my stays have unfastened themselves thus serving as a reminder that I need to update my bangables list with The Rock. I have a space free after Daniel Craig's precipitous departure.

  • wojtek

    Southland Tales. It's ridiculous, but magnificently so.

  • lowercase_ryan

    I'll see this shit.

  • lowercase_ryan

    Fanny Pack.

  • Andrew

    "When this is over, we'll all go camping .... alright??" Then Marky Mark hugs The Rock ........

    BAAAAAAhahahahahahaha!!!!!

    And, it is released on my birthday!!! Not particularly a fan of Michael Bay, Mark Wahlberg or Dwayne Johnson, but this looks decent enough .... I do like Ed Harris, so it can't be all bad.

  • People can hate on Michael Bay all they want - that right there is a fucking beautiful trailer.

  • InternetMagpie

    I can't watch the trailer right now, but their names are Pain and Gain, right? And Anthony Mackie plays their dead friend Slain?

  • Natallica

    What's the thing with bodybuilders and insanely patterned pants? Is color blindness a steroid use side effect?

  • koko temur

    the crazy patterns disguise the shrunken genitalia.

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