free counter with statistics HBO Signs Up Maria Bello | Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

maria-bello.jpg
You just can’t have the good without the bad, can you?

Part 1 / Seth Freilich

Trade News | December 29, 2008 | Comments (31)

Good news, bad news from HBO last week. The good? Maria Bello has signed a deal with the network to produce and star in a new show. She’s been one of my biggest Hollywood crushes since the little-remembered “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” TV show (Bello and Scott Bakula = yummy for everyone). And it helps that she’s not just good on the eyes, but a damn fine actress, to boot (we’ll ignore the whole Coyote Ugly misstep and the atrociously boring Downloading Nancy). The show, which doesn’t have a title yet, is another in the line of shows about good folks forced into lives of crime. Here, Bello’s character goes bad to support her three kids (who will be her henchmen) after her husband is killed. Sounds like HBO said “we need something like that ‘Weeds’ show. Get us a hot older lady, stat!” It’s being written by Gary Lennon who’s done some good stuff (“The Shield”) and some bad (“The Black Donnellys”). But with Bello on board, I’ll definitely give it a shot.

But with the good, HBO also brings the bad. Stay tuned….

And by the way, for those of you who have forgotten, Dallas sucks! Hey Romo, if you wanna take a trip out to LA, I got something here for you to choke on.

romo-faceplant.jpg

← Denis Leary Remembers Denis Leary Movies | Wendy and Lucy Review →



Comments

Nancy-boy Choke Artist Romo reportedly collapsed in the shower after the game yesterday. No word on whether an American History X-style incident that may or may not have involved Charles Haley was involved.

Posted by: Sean at December 29, 2008 8:22 AM

There is no describing how great that ass WHOMPIN' was yesterday. Over/Under on T.O. running his mouth about something is at 4 days. I'll take the over.

Posted by: PissBoy at December 29, 2008 8:29 AM

Just to be clear...there is a twilight: which character are you you? Take the quiz! ad on Pajiba. What the hell does that have to do with hot ass Maria Bello and the cowboys? Better question: why do I want to take it? What is wrong with me?

Posted by: Marra at December 29, 2008 8:34 AM

It's always good to see cheesesteaks thrown into the air out of celebration for the Eagles, rather than at McNabb's head or the nearest TV. I detest cheesesteak violence.

Posted by: branded at December 29, 2008 8:48 AM

Yesterday I must have cum about three times, once for the Dallas Cowboys losing, another for my beloved Miami Dolphins winning, and lastly I had to crank one out so I could go to sleep. Oh I almost forgot, Maria Bello is hot and I hope her show works out for her.

Posted by: Pookie at December 29, 2008 8:57 AM

Go Vikes?

Posted by: Snath at December 29, 2008 9:07 AM

Ravens are in the playoffs! Woo! And I'm not surprised Dallas shit the bed after their performance against Baltimore last week. How the hell do you let Le'Ron McClain, who is built like a fridge and moves about as well, make an 80 yard rushing touchdown? HOW?!? Even Le'Ron had to be thinking "What? I have to keep running? Why hasn't someone tackled me?" as he humped his ass down that field.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at December 29, 2008 9:09 AM

PissBoy I have the under, because he already started to bitch last night. Romo wise, he went to Eastern Illinois University which is in Charleston, stuck somewhere between the asshole and scrotum of Illinois.

Pookie I think a fourth could have been between the Broncos or Favre losing as well, but I will let you judge that one.

Posted by: richmac at December 29, 2008 9:09 AM

GO Vikes? Yep that question mark is good, the Eagles will beat them. If anyone thinks they know the Super Bowl winner, take the other eleven teams and give them odds. I could make a case for Pitt, Indy, the Titans, the Giants, Carloina and/or Atlanta and they could just as easily lose their first game.

Should be fun for all be the Super Bowl sponsors.

Pookie, add the Patriots not making the playoffs with an 11-5 record, in addition to Brady not playing in 2009, to the cum list.

Posted by: richmac at December 29, 2008 9:19 AM

Well, if you'll remember, you take the good AND you take the bad. You take 'em both, and there...oooonly there do you have the Facts of Life. Yeah...the Facts of Life.

So keep in mind that when the world never seems to be livin' up to your dreams, then it's time you started finding out that the Facts of Life are all about you.

Posted by: The Pink Hulk at December 29, 2008 10:08 AM

I'm still on a Phillies high so I wasn't as crazy nervous for yesterday's game as I normally would be, but I found myself running from my living room to my bedroom every time we ran another fumble recovery in for a touchdown. Not to play with myself in glee, but to listen to my beloved Merril Reese call the plays on the radio. What a delicious spanking.

Seth, you didn't just disparage Coyote Ugly, DID YOU? Not that I care, my roommate and I definitely don't watch it whenever it plays on Encore. Never ever.

Posted by: Julie at December 29, 2008 10:10 AM

Thanks Richmac, I think I'll revise my cum list to include the Patriots, Jets, Lions, and especially Brett Farve.

Posted by: Pookie at December 29, 2008 10:10 AM

Genny, word on the Ravens. Dallas let McGahee run for 70-something yards? Willis have yet to put up 70 yards in a game this season. I know this because he was on my fantasy team. Flacco almost got me into the playoffs, so I will be happily cheering for the Ravens.

Can we all agree to leave the Lions alone in their misery? Doesn't Detroit have it bad enough already?

Posted by: Melody at December 29, 2008 10:39 AM

ESPECIALLY Brett Favre. Biggest douchebag in sports. Over/under on "will he retire or not?": 15 seconds.

Here we go, Still-ers, here we go.

Posted by: bucdaddy at December 29, 2008 10:41 AM

Sorry to bust your bubble Melody...but Willis had a 73 yd TD run and on the very next play the Ravens rand from scrimmage, LeRon McClain ran for 80. First time in NFL history that consecutive offensive plays from scrimmage were scoring runs of more than 70 yards. Willis ran for 108 and McClain ran for a buck forty.

Posted by: PissBoy at December 29, 2008 10:51 AM

I meant to say 70-something on a single play.

The best part of the Ravens and Eagles games vs Dallas? Jerry Jones camera.

Do I believe him when he says no one gets fired? No. Not a chance in hell. Wade will probably be "stepping down" later today.

Posted by: Melody at December 29, 2008 10:56 AM

Speaking of Maria Bello, please allow me a moment of bad Pookiness. I'd love to give Ms. Bello a facial, thanks, I had to get that out of my system.

Posted by: Pookie at December 29, 2008 10:56 AM

Melody, I do believe that Flacco could get elected Pope in Baltimore these days. The love the fans have for him is almost embarrassing.

And I can't stop giggling when I think of what's happened to Dallas. "America's Team" my ass.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at December 29, 2008 11:07 AM

Melody, I loved the Jerry Jones "I'm Going to Ass Rape Tony Romo With His Helmet" camera almost as much as I loved the Jeff Lurie "Singing The Eagles' Fight Song And Lookin Like a Doofus" cam.

Posted by: Julie at December 29, 2008 11:08 AM

I need some electrolytes I'm drained.

Posted by: Pookie at December 29, 2008 11:16 AM

See, Julie swore that if the Phillies won, she wouldn't care if the Eagles sucked donkey balls this season. I just can't live like that! I need football. I can't live without football. I'm sorry.

Don't write Minnesota off yet. I'm an eternal pessimist. Comes with the territory.

I love that Lurie has a playoff beard going. And shut the fuck UP about this being McNabb's last season.

That's pretty much all I've got for a Monday morning when the Jehovah's Witnesses were ringing my doorbell earlier.

Posted by: Nicole at December 29, 2008 11:21 AM

A stint on Coyote Ugly AND with Bakula aka "man who put the final nail on the Trek franchise"?


This sounds like a winner...

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at December 29, 2008 11:41 AM

I still care Nicole, you ho-muffin! I will scream and cheer and rend my garments when LJ Smith drops a pass till the day I finally get hit by a bus. But my Phillies high is such that for once, if we don't win the Superbowl, I will not put a bounty on Andy Reid's head. I am still too full of the happy pants.

Posted by: Julie at December 29, 2008 11:45 AM

New Hollywood remake idea: The Parent Trap with Maria Bello and Melissa George in the Hayley Mills role. Based on the picture above I think this could work. Plus George and Bello wouldn't have to fake accents since both have shown a complete inability to do a foreign accent (George on Alias and Bello on Mummy 3). I need Mike R (stat!) to properly update the script to use adults instead of children.

Posted by: Ed Newman at December 29, 2008 11:48 AM

go 'stillers'!

Posted by: gem at December 29, 2008 11:51 AM

Colts kicked some Tenn. butt yesterday, but both teams were playing with the B-teamers. Still holding out hope for my Horseshoes....

LOVED seeing Romo go down in flames....hatred is not a strong enough word for how I feel about Dallas...or especially New England. Suck on that, Pats!

The Lions DO seem to be following the rest of Detroit industry, don't they? As in SUCK!

Maria Bello and Scott Bakula---good.
Maria Bello and Viggo Mortensen on the stairs....!@$@#)$&%)*! (sorry, lost control there for a moment...)

Posted by: dammitjanet at December 29, 2008 11:56 AM

Bello + History of Violence = delicious
Dallas - win = sweet
Dolphins + win = HUZZAH!

Posted by: Protoguy at December 29, 2008 12:48 PM

Maria Bello in The Cooler - even dumped down as a down-on-her-luck waitress, she brought the major sexxxay and made Bill Macy look like a butch action hero.

Bill Macy. Facing down the Vegas MOB. For her.

Posted by: Meander at December 29, 2008 2:59 PM

I must say, as a Giants fan, I have never enjoyed watching the Eagles win more than I did yesterday

Posted by: Brian at December 29, 2008 6:23 PM

Mr. & Mrs. Smith ftmfw!!!! We need it on dvd, like- yesterday.

Posted by: majandra at December 29, 2008 7:25 PM

Maria Bello....yummy!

Posted by: Danny at December 31, 2008 9:17 PM