November 27, 2007 | Comments ()

By Dustin Rowles | Trade News | November 27, 2007 |


After a long Thanksgiving weekend, and already in the midst of a strike, there’s not a ton to report on today. But I’ll start with the somewhat intriguing concept for The Surrogates, a film set in the future in which real people send better looking versions of themselves, in the form of robots, out into the world conduct their daily business. Bruce Willis, who left Pinkville on account of the strike, has signed on to The Surrogates to play an actual human being who normally uses his surrogate to investigate crimes, but is forced to venture outside of his house for the first time in years to investigate the murders of other surrogates. Why would anyone want to kill a robot? And are the robots killing people? Oh, I hope the victims have Old Glory Insurance.

The film, I suppose it goes without saying, is based on a graphic novel, and will be directed by Jonathon Mostow, who many of you may know best as the director who put Jon Bon Jovi in a submarine movie, U-571. Oh, and he also directed Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines and, sadly, is also set to direct Swiss Family Robinson in 2009.

And speaking of Terminator, holy shit: Christian Bale has allegedly been cast as John Connor in the fourth Terminator film, which will be directed by McG (We Are Marshall, Charlie’s Angels). And suddenly, I’m interested in seeing Terminator 4. It’s either going to be awesome, or awesomely awful. McG directing Christian Bale? Seriously? Seriously. It can’t be. For the curious, the fourth installment will take place in the future and will focus on a full-scale battle between Skynet and human beings.

Christian Bale? No fucking way.

In other news, there will be a Final Destination 4. And you know what? I hope they do away with the narrative all together this time and just give us a 90-minute music montage of gruesome death scenes. In fact, hire me to put together the soundtrack, which will feature only decapitation-friendly music: Beck’s “Fuckin’ with My Head,” Bush’s “Machinehead,” Dixie Chicks’ “Hole in My Head,” Elvis Costello’s “Home is Where You Hang Your Head” (oh, the imagery!), Living Colour’s, “Love Rears Up Its Ugly Head,” Rage’s “Bullet in the Head,” and Ryan Adams’ “Halloween Head.” My toes are curling. David R. Ellis (Snakes on a Plane), who directed the first sequel, will return to the director’s chair. And, as if weren’t possible to get even more excited, the fourth movie will be in 3D. 3D impaling, y’all! Wicked.

Christian Bale?

Elsewhere, I think my favorite book so far in 2007 was Joshua Ferris’ And Then We Came to An End, a brilliantly hilarious novel that takes office politics to the absurd. Well, it looks as though he’s going where the money is: Hollywood. He wrote a film called, Seven Days, which will be directed by Mark Waters (the upcoming Spiderwick Chronicles, Mean Girls). Cool premise: It’s about seven important days in a man’s life over a 2o-year period, and that’s about all I know. Mark Waters is perfectly hit-and-miss, but he’s due.

Alannis Morissette has been tapped for Canada’s music Hall of Fame. It don’t take much, do it?

Officially, the lowest-rent horror movie premise of all time: Chain Letter, starring Nikki Reed, will be about a homicidal maniac who targets teens who fail to forward chain mail.

I suspect that many of y’all have read Ben Mezrich’s Bringing Down the House: The Inside Story of Six M.I.T. Students Who Took Vegas for Millions, and I’m sure you’ve all been dying to see the big-screen version starring Kevin Spacey. Well, the trailer is here (the movie is set for release in March 2008), and it looks kind of lame, but a movie I’d like to see all the same. But let me tell you this: I used to live a subway stop away from M.I.T., and I doubt there’s a student in the entire school as moderately attractive as Kate Bosworth or Jim Sturgess.

ChristianBale.jpg

Hasta La Vista, Pajiba?

The Daily Trade Round-Up / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | November 27, 2007 | Comments ()



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