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Harrison Ford Is Going to Eat Jared Leto Alive and We All Get to Watch

By Vivian Kane | Trade News | August 18, 2016 | Comments ()

By Vivian Kane | Trade News | August 18, 2016 |


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It’s common knowledge by this point that Jared Leto is terrible, right? He made terrible jokes about cross-dressing all through his Dallas Buyers Club press tour, he’s convinced a whole generation of young actors that real acting means making your costars and crew members feel unsafe, AND HE WAS A JERK TO ANGELA CHASE. He is awful, and I, personally, have dedicated more than my fair share of words to that awfulness.

So imagine my surprise when I found myself genuinely delighted by the news that Leto has just been cast in the Blade Runner sequel.

I shouldn’t be happy about this. I want this movie to be good. I want to watch it, and I want to like it, and I don’t want to look at Jared Leto’s dumb face while doing either of those things. But it’s really hard to not skip past the movie itself and go straight to the burning desire to hear SO MANY STORIES about Harrison Ford hating Jared Leto. CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE THE PRESS TOUR? I hope for our sakes— not Leto’s or Ford’s (sorry, Harrison)— that they send these two out on every interview together. Because as far as odd couples go, Jared Leto is the antithesis to the delightful John Boyega, who declared loudly and constantly while promoting The Force Awakens that Harrison Ford was his best friend, just as we all would.

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That pairing there, with Boyega poking the lovingly curmudgeonly bear with his sunshine fingers, is a double rainbow personified. And while I wish I didn’t take delight in the idea of the EXACT OPPOSITE of that— how deeply I wish I were incapable of taking pleasure in anyone’s misery or embarrassment, even the Letoiest of humans— well…

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For every joyful quote or look we got from Viola Davis about not taking Leto’s bastardized method acting nonsense, this is going to be a million times that. Do we think Harrison Ford has the time or patience for Jared Leto’s refusal to exit character, or whatever “gifts” he’s going to send to make sure everyone knows he’s really super committed to his as-of-yet undisclosed character?

Here’s hoping Leto was cast to play a role with less screen time than the Joker, solely cashing in on his batshit crazy, heavily marketable terribleness, and that Harrison Ford takes as much delight as possible in teaching him how to not be an asshole.

And then we can just sit back and enjoy in the appropriate manner.


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