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Holding Hands, Skipping Like a Stone, Burn the Witch, Burn to Ash and Bone

By TK | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (15)

Houston_Hansel.jpg

Well, we covered a movie called Humpty Dumpty — why the hell not do one about Hansel and Gretel. However, I confess … this sounds eleventy kinds of awesome. Tommy Wirkola, who’s behind the yet-unreleased, but extremely exciting-sounding Dead Snow (Nazis? Zombies? Nazi Zombies? SOLD!), has successfully pitched Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters, a fantasy/horror/action film about, well, Hansel and Gretel. Fifteen years after the oven incident, siblings Hansel and Gretel are professional witch hunters. It sounds like wild supernatural action as well as a mix of different genres tossed together. Producer Adam McKaye said,

“The idea is, they’ve grown up and they hunt witches. It’s a hybrid sort of old-timey feeling, yet there’s pump-action shotguns. Modern technology but in an old style. We heard it and we were just like, ‘That’s a freakin’ franchise! You could make three of those!’”

As long as it’s more Evil Dead/Army of Darkness, and less Van Helsing, I think we’ve got a contender on our hands.









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Comments

That's the best idea I've heard in a long time.

Posted by: Snath at April 30, 2009 9:52 AM

Buffy, The Gingerbread Slayer.

Cookiemonster II: In My Pants.

Posted by: BWeaves at April 30, 2009 9:52 AM

'Dead Snow' is hilarious. Very 'tounge-in-cheek' and a lot of fun with lots and lots of blood. Looking forward to anything else this guy does.

Posted by: Alex the not so odd at April 30, 2009 9:57 AM

coughTheBrothersGrimmcough

I was hoping this was going to be news about Queens of the Stone Age.

Posted by: henchman for hire at April 30, 2009 10:03 AM

The Brothers Grimm were shotgun-wielding witch hunters?

Posted by: I Love Beets at April 30, 2009 10:09 AM

*eyeroll*

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at April 30, 2009 10:12 AM

now, if i am TOTALLY blind to any other news, casting, rumor, viral marketing, trailer, THOUGHT of this movie until the moment i plunk my butt into the seat, i think i'll be just fine.

but really, don't you think WE will ruin this before it has a chance.

*self-depreciates in the corner*

HEY! i found a zoloft!
*good times*

Posted by: gp at April 30, 2009 10:36 AM

thank you henchman, that was my first thought as well.

It'll be awesome, as long as it doesn't turn out like that horrendous film. Which I so wanted to adore.

Posted by: lizzieborden at April 30, 2009 10:36 AM

The Bros. Grimm were nasty bastards, they'd have set fire to Aesop. I'm surprised more of their stuff hasn't gotten the treatment.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at April 30, 2009 11:04 AM

Buffy, The Gingerbread Slayer.

Hahahahahahahaha

Instead of a stake, she uses a candycane....

Posted by: "luker" the barbarian at April 30, 2009 11:14 AM

Sure, let's take a children's story and modernize and make it "hip" for adults. Nobody's ever done THAT before.

Fuck a goddamn duck. I'm SICK of this. It's been done, and it's been done WELL rarely (Fables, Ella Enchanted (the book, not the waste-of-film-stock)) and POORLY many, many times.

I know, I know, every story's already been done blah blah blah The Odyssey, Hamlet, blah blah blah. But we could somebody at least try to do something more creative than throwing goddamn zombies into Jane Austen and giving Hansel & Gretel gunpowder? It's like as a culture all we can do any more is create glorified fan-fic.

Posted by: Wednesday at April 30, 2009 11:23 AM

Oooh cool....I liked The Brothers Grimm, I REALLY did, it had Gilliams quirk and charm, Damon and Ledger where excellent and Belluci ....is a Goddess.
Plus I like this new thing of going back to the fairytales and re-imagining them, but doing it RIGHT, so this could be really excellent if handled well

Posted by: nadine at April 30, 2009 11:30 AM

...and when one of their fingers get's bitten off, they'll use twizzlers to pull the trigger, because they'll be bad-assedly chomping on candy throughout the whole movie.

You don't even want to know what they do with the SugarDaddies.

Posted by: Sweetie Dahling at April 30, 2009 12:12 PM

What's next, I ask you? Sesame Street porn? 'cause I'd download Cookie Monster singing "P is for Pussy". It's good enough for me.

Posted by: slower lower at April 30, 2009 2:32 PM

As long as it’s more Evil Dead/Army of Darkness, and less Van Helsing, I think we’ve got a contender on our hands.

But this is Hollywood in 2009, so it's gonna be the latter. Sorry.

Posted by: UncivilizedMike at May 1, 2009 2:28 AM