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He Who Devours Your Entrails And Thoroughly Enjoys It

By TK | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (26)

660200-lobo_panels_1__16__super.jpg

Well, DC didn’t take long to respond to Marvel hogging all of this week’s comic book news. Apparently, once he’s done with the very intriguing-looking Robert Downey Jr./Jude Law version of Sherlocke Holmes, Guy Ritchie is set to direct Lobo for Warner Brothers. Lobo’s a giant, white-skinned, cigar-chomping lunatic with skull-kneepads (!), a fondness for ridiculous firepower, a weird knifey-chainy thing (what is that thing called again? I forget), a seriously negative attitude and an taste for booze and sarcasm.. He’s an interstellar bounty hunter who has a penchant for the ultra violence. He also travels on a pretty sweet space-travel-enabled motorcycle. Yes, he is a totally ridiculous character.

He’s been a fan favorite since his first appearance in 1983, and he’s gone through several iterations. He’s a little infuriating — sometimes the character is completely idiotic, annoying, and everything that make comic books sucky. But man — when the writing is on, it is fucking on. The script’s been floating around for a while and has received less-than-stellar reviews, but who knows what will happen by the time filming starts,

Let’s just hope it’s Snatch Guy Ritchie, not Swept Away Guy Ritchie. I can tell you this though — if it doesn’t get an R rating, then fuck it. Just ignore it altogether.

(h/t to SlashFilm)









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Comments

booze, sarcasm AND violence with potential for ridiculousity?

sounds like my kinda movie. especially if it's done by Snatch Guy Ritchie.

Posted by: lizzieborden at September 3, 2009 10:05 AM

Reading lizzie's comment made me think that it was a Pajibacon documentary.
Ritchie can bring the violence and now that he's stolen his yarbles back from The Creature Formerly Known As Material Girl, let's bet that he does.

Posted by: Spender at September 3, 2009 10:11 AM

Madonna would've been perfect for this role.

*Sigh*

Posted by: Kballs at September 3, 2009 10:16 AM

The knifey/chainy thing is a kusari gama, or some sort of comic book variation. It's the kind of weapon that looks really cool when you're 12 and watching a ninja movie, but in real life it's kind of pointless. Well, I guess all martial arts weapons are kind of pointless against say, a gun.

Wasn't Lobo DC's parody of Wolverine?

Posted by: Mrcreosote at September 3, 2009 10:22 AM

She lacks in the bulk department but she certainly has sinewy covered!

Seriously though, I adore Guy Ritchie movies. Except when She’s involved (in all fairness, I haven’t actually seen that movie, but do I need to? Yeah, didn’t think so).

Posted by: Eyvi at September 3, 2009 10:25 AM

Fuuuuuuuck yes

Posted by: chenry at September 3, 2009 10:26 AM

Guy Ritchie is just Michael Bay on a shoe string budget.

Posted by: TSF at September 3, 2009 10:28 AM

Mrcreosote, yes and no. Lobo was supposed to be a parody of the hyper-violent, over-the-top "anti-heroes" popular in the 90s. Except people fell in love with the character unironically, much to the chagrin of creator Keith Giffen. You'd think most people would be turned off by a guy who jerks-off while committing genocide, but there's not accounting for taste.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at September 3, 2009 10:53 AM

I suppose this is as close to the "Duke Nukem" movie as I'll ever get to see. I mean...fuck, there's a Stretch Armstrong movie coming out and there's no Duke Nukem? Where's the justice?

Posted by: alphawhiskey at September 3, 2009 11:12 AM

Really D.C. is this how you respond to Marvel Comics kicking you in the nuts by making a movie about some goddamn D-list comic book character? Who the fuck is “Lobo?” I never heard of this motherfucker before in my life. “Gigli2" will have a bigger opening than “Lobo.”

Posted by: Guess Who! at September 3, 2009 11:19 AM

Guy Ritchie is just Michael Bay on a shoe string budget.
Posted by: TSF at September 3, 2009 10:28 AM

No, no, no, no , no no NO. Guy Ritchie? from Snatch? from Lock, Stock, and two Smoking Barrels?

There's subtlety. There's nuance. There's writing. There's storytelling.
Yes, there may be violence, but over the top gratuitous special effect-y violence that would draw comparison to Bay? No. No.

Posted by: VinKong at September 3, 2009 11:21 AM

Sorry. He's Eli Roth. He's ASHER Roth. He makes movies for 14 year old boys with gel in their hair, lynx in their arm pits and copies of Maxim in their hands.

I honestly don't understand how he gets any props here at all.

Posted by: TSF at September 3, 2009 11:44 AM

Really? hard to believe.
I heard this news times from many friends playing on a ta ll da ting site ___TallMingle Com___,i did not believe, i think that they are know nothing but da ting and love.
i am wrong.

Posted by: Pattyly at September 3, 2009 12:02 PM

TSF, I think you're in a lonely Snatch-hating corner over there.

Posted by: Vi at September 3, 2009 12:06 PM

Fine, whatever. Let the whole world know your wife has your testicles locked up in her jewelry case and only lets you have them after you've finished washing up and taking out the trash. Ritchie writes movies for boys, maybe, but still, anatomically complete boys not pseudo-adult eunuchs.

For a while, painfully (e.g. Revolver), Ritchie had handed his own balls over to Madonna, but I'm sure he's blessing all the saints whose names he can remember that he escaped with them back mostly intact (if RockNRolla is any indication).

We'll just have to wait for Sherlock Holmes to tell if he's managed a full recovery.

Posted by: Neodiogenes at September 3, 2009 12:07 PM

a giant, white-skinned, cigar-chomping lunatic with skull-kneepads (!), a fondness for ridiculous firepower, a weird knifey-chainy thing (what is that thing called again? I forget), a seriously negative attitude and an taste for booze and sarcasm.

Whythe fuck did was I not notified that they were making a movie about my ex?

AWESOME!!! Child support checks will got WAAAAAAAAY up!!

Posted by: dammitjanet at September 3, 2009 1:05 PM

Snatch Guy Ritchie?

That was just a warmed-over re-hash of L,S and TSB plus shirtless Brad Pitt.

And RocknRolla was a warmed-over re-hash of both of them plus Tom Wilkinson's fake bald head and Jeremy Piven's squirrel roadkill rug, so I don't know what kind of smoke-and-mirrors tap dance he put on to convince somebody to let him direct Sherlock Holmes.

That said, Holmes looks pretty fucking promising.

Posted by: icecreammang at September 3, 2009 1:32 PM

Sorry about grammar issues.....kingsize must have eaten a portion of my brain last week..

Posted by: dammitjanet at September 3, 2009 2:00 PM

Besides Batman, Lobo is the only DC character I've ever liked. (Whatever that says about me, I don't want to know.) You're right, TK - if it's not rated R, it's not gonna be worth seeing.

At least Disney didn't buy DC. There might be a chance for this one to be an adult comic book film.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at September 3, 2009 2:27 PM

Lobo killed Superman...and Santa Claus...you can't fuck with that.

Go watch the short student film, Lobo's Paramilitary Christmas Special...I posted it on my blog once. It was decent.

Posted by: Deistbrawler at September 3, 2009 3:24 PM

He's perfect for Lobo. I want in.

Posted by: Lucas at September 3, 2009 4:00 PM

Damnit Deist, you beat me to it. Four words sum up the Lobo badassery in the Paramilitary Christmas Special:

Santa.
Lobo.
Knife fight.

Posted by: longcoat000 at September 3, 2009 6:04 PM

Being a comic book doesn't mean it needs to be a comic book movie. What's next...Soderbergh does Captain Carrot and his Amazing Zoo Crew?

Hollywood, you're screwing up the likes of Spider-Man, the Fantastic Four, the X-Men, Wolverine, etc. What the hell makes you think you can do any better with more obscure and less creatively fertile comic properties?

Well, ok, BESIDES Iron Man.

Posted by: laredo at September 3, 2009 7:57 PM

i'm curious.

the only exposure to lobo i have is the brad garrett-voiced lobo from the superman animated adventures and maybe a couple of justice leagues.

he seemed a little one-note.

but guy ritchie is known for taking those one-notes and peeling back layers like an onion.
or a parfait.

we'll see.

Posted by: gp at September 3, 2009 8:10 PM

Don't forget he can't die :)

Neither heaven or hell will have him. Think I'm going to reread that comic when I get home, love it when the devil goes to heaven and says he is moving in there unless they take Lobo of his hands.

Lobo is constant violence and tons of sex. If they make this pg-13 .......

Posted by: Silchas Ruin at September 4, 2009 4:38 AM

Anyone ever read "Lobo Vs. Hitman"?

Bueno. Excellente.

Posted by: grendel at September 4, 2009 6:38 AM