Grown Ups Trailer

Adam Sandler and Chris Rock Together Again!

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (22)

Ugh. Fucking ugh. If you’d said to me 15 years ago that Adam Sandler and Chris Rock were starring in a film together, I’d have said: Who the hell is Chris Rock? But I probably wouldn’t have been averse to it. Of course, they’ve already starred in a film together, the hilariously awful remake of The Longest Yard.

They’ve reteamed for Grown Ups, along with Happy Madison dick mitten regulars David Spade and Rob Schneider, in addition to the HM newcomer, Kevin James, who at one time I had an ounce of respect for.

Not any fucking more. Jesopus: these assholes should really just all return to “SNL.” Hell, they’re still making “SNL” skits, they’re just drawing them out for 90 minutes.

Grown Ups is about a group of friends who grew up together, and who reunite — with their children — to engage in some misbegotten ass play. No: That’d be interesting. Instead, the swing on ropes. And rape our brains.

Here’s the Grown Ups trailer. Choke on it.

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Chris, look, I know you gotta eat, but you're funny. Why are you saddling yourself with this pack of no-talent ass-clowns? Okay, you don't have the chops to be Richard Pryor (and you don't have a partner like Gene Wilder). Fine. But do you really want to go down this Ice Cube/Eddie Murphy path of shitty family "comedies?" Do you really want to get the Sandler Stench on you? David Spade? Rob Schneider?! Dude. Duuude. Duuuuude. Don't be that guy.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at November 13, 2009 9:17 AM

Pass, please. Sick of these kinds of movie now, even ones that look decent (unlike this pile of emu shit).

I think I may be in some sort of film slump right now. I only want to watch things blow up and people get dismembered in some way. I watched Commando last night for the first time (I was deprived as a child), and tonight I am going to go in search of another movie that would make Michael Bay proud.

Stress + depression = brain death

Posted by: Snath at November 13, 2009 9:19 AM

I have a new rule, and it was promptly applied to this trailer. The second, the fucking second that I see Rob Schneider, I turn it off. Which means I made it roughly 8 seconds into this trailer before I threw it in the mental trash bin.

Rob Schneider is the fucking cinematic antichrist. He is everything that is wrong with cinema, and I want to cockpunch Sandler with a hammer for giving him parts.

Posted by: TK at November 13, 2009 9:30 AM

We have a new recipient of The Sandler Curse. (It's like a period but not as funny).

Snath, it's obvious that your parents need a talking to and perhaps child protective services should be called (they help adults too right?)

Go get Conan The Barbarian, Predator, Aliens, Crank 2 and Die Hard. Mix with your favorite liquor and enjoy.

Posted by: admin at November 13, 2009 9:31 AM

That makes twice in two days you've used that "HOTTEST, TANNEST, CRAZIEST Guidos" picture.

Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at November 13, 2009 9:39 AM

SALMA HAYEK AND MARIA BELLO ARE IN THIS?!?!?!!!

FUCK!!!!!!!

/smash glass window
/bleeding profusely
/well and truly dead
/blood summoning the demons of the Netherworld
/end near
/dogs and cats living together
/mass hysteria

Posted by: Vermillion at November 13, 2009 9:41 AM

/return from grave

That makes twice in two days you've used that "HOTTEST, TANNEST, CRAZIEST Guidos" picture.

Kinda weird you said that, with the black guy there and everything. I mean, now that's TANNEST!

/return to grave

Posted by: Vermillion's Broken Soul Thanks To Happy Madison at November 13, 2009 9:45 AM

*hires medium to contact Vermillion's broken soul*

Well, I didn't write that because Kevin James looks like a roaster chicken, now, did I?

*pays medium $25, what a racket*

Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at November 13, 2009 9:56 AM

When will not-zombie people finally appreciate the fine humor of Silvio Berlusconi?

Also, what's that grinding in Rock's mouth?

Nevermind, sorry I asked...

Posted by: Adere at November 13, 2009 10:11 AM

Adam Sandler and Chris Rock...

They’ve reteamed for Grown Ups, along with Happy Madison dick mitten regulars David Spade and Rob Schneider, in addition to the HM newcomer, Kevin James, who at one time I had an ounce of respect for.

That's pretty terrible, but Grown Ups is worse yet. They've gotten Ice Cube to sign onboard, I wish I were lying. You see, it's not enough to just make a bad movie in order for it to be the worst movie of all time, you have to further decimate the legacy of a genius in order to make a film truly terrible.

This is all your fault, everyone. You should have bought tickets to see Funny People. If more of you did that, Adam Sandler might have considered not making cinematic abominations in order to earn money for his personal, gold plated Hawaiian Island.

Posted by: George at November 13, 2009 10:22 AM

/returns from grave

Nice one.

/returns to grave
/not that hard apparently
/should have kept the 25 bucks

Posted by: Vermillion's Broken Soul Thanks To Happy Madison at November 13, 2009 10:24 AM

Hayek, Bello AND Maya Rudolph...

Maybe they've figured it out the Sandler Curse and are fighting back. They're taking the money and doing something better with it.

Right?

What have they planned next?

Posted by: Kissing Girls Makes You Sleepy at November 13, 2009 11:07 AM

Every time Rob Schneider makes a movie, an adorable and innocent baby is devoured by wild dogs, and then spends the rest of eternity being tortured in Hell.

Someone, please think of the children.

Posted by: Skewicide Blonde at November 13, 2009 11:12 AM

I'm kind of sad that Rock has been relegated to the status of "token".

Posted by: admin at November 13, 2009 11:13 AM

So... Salma Hayek, Maria Bello, and Maya Rudolph are all going to fall victim to the Adam Sandler curse?!?!?!!!

Seriously, people, we have to stop this.

Posted by: MM at November 13, 2009 11:43 AM

Salma Hayek is smoking hot. In my fantasies, I look just like her. (Feel free to go there too Big Daddy)
If anyone can survive the Curse of Sandler, she can.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at November 13, 2009 11:50 AM

In my fantasies, I look just like her. (Feel free to go there too Big Daddy)
---
OK: In my fantasies, I look just like Salma Hayek ...

Hey! What's this little thingie do? This little button, right here, about 18 inches below my enormous smokin' hot breasts? What? You can't see it? Look, I'll point to it with my finger.

Right ... here ...

...

... oh my.

*lights cigarette*

Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at November 13, 2009 12:15 PM

Yeah, I quit smoking 12 years ago.
But thanks for playing.
And, you are a dirrrrty old man. Keep it up

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at November 13, 2009 12:33 PM

Awwww David Spade curled and feathered his hair for his big return to the shitty screen. He'll be the prettiest girl in at the prom.

Posted by: Kayanne at November 13, 2009 1:39 PM

Blaaargh! Which one of these ass hats is going to sully the perfection that is Salma? She is one of my personal heroes (she is what I want to be in my next life), but if she gets David Spade all over her we might need to perform an exorcism.

Posted by: greer at November 13, 2009 7:08 PM

YES!

here's a fact:

I fucking loathe Salma Hayek. And now that she's doing a movie with Sandler, I know she's done. SO HUZZAH!

Posted by: figgy at November 15, 2009 7:59 PM

Soooooooo.......in what world would SALMA FREAKIN' HAYEK be married to Adam Sandler?

Posted by: KDM at November 17, 2009 4:32 PM

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Adam Sandler and Chris Rock Together Again!

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