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Friday’s Geek Movie News

Or, Things I’m Completely Ignorant About / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | October 10, 2008 | Comments (82)

Do you have any idea what a detriment it is to write for a geek-heavy film site and know so little about comic books? Some days, I do a little research. Other days, I wing/fake it, but today, I’m going to come right out and confess my ignorance on all three of the following items:

First, Josh Brolin, who should be given a gold medal for awesome, has been all but confirmed as the lead in Jonah Hex. I have no fucking idea what Jonah Hex is, though apparently he’s a gun-slinging space cowboy, which sounds a lot like Fillion in Firefly, except this guy is some sort of anti-hero. Brian Taylor (Crank) is attached to direct, which is OK by me.

Second, Ryan Gosling is apparently in the running to play The Green Lantern, which should not be confused with Seth Rogen’s Green Hornet. Actually, I have a passing familiarity with The Green Lantern from “Superfriends” and “The Justice League” growing up. He was the guy with the magic green ring, whose kryptonite was, like, the guy with the yellow ring, I think (and the Man with a Yellow Hat could smite that bitch). I could never figure out why The Green Lantern didn’t just give his ring to Aquaman, and then Aquaman could do stuff a lot cooler than swim. When they were handing out the super powers at the super-powers gettin’ place, I swear to God, Aquaman got royally fucked. Dude must have been, like, “Seriously? That Superman motherfucker can fly, Batman has nipples that can cut glass, Wonder Woman has an invisible goddamn jet, and I can swim. What thee fuck? So what? I get to take out all the criminals that Flipper doesn’t have time to get around to? Thanks a lot, asshole.”

Well, good for Gosling.

And finally, the new Autobot in the Transformers sequel has been revealed to be Skids. I have no fucking idea what that means (sounds like a kid who shits his pants) except that it’s a Chevy. But … yeah. I’m sure some of y’all “in the know” are clapping your goddamn hands or booing. Or just shrugging your shoulders.


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Comments

Count me in as part of the shoulder-shrugging 'meh' brigade.

Posted by: Goldie at October 10, 2008 2:07 PM

All of it geek, none of it interesting. *sigh*

Do you have any idea what a detriment it is to write for a geek-heavy film site and know so little about comic books?

Just keep doth protesting.

gabba gabba hey.

Posted by: twig at October 10, 2008 2:08 PM

I'm actually standing in the middle of a pool with water up to my waist, combing an old doll while singing the Psycho score, 'cause I really didn't get ANYTHING about this post.

Posted by: Sofía at October 10, 2008 2:09 PM

I've always hated Aquaman.

Always

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 10, 2008 2:09 PM

Yeah, what's so great about Aquaman anyway? I'll take Bird Man any day, thank you. Or MicroMan. I never got to see that episode where the dog revealed his face.

Posted by: Sofía at October 10, 2008 2:10 PM

I could never figure out why The Green Lantern didn't just give his ring to Aquaman

Because the ring chooses YOU. And yes, its flaw is that it's vulnerable to yellow.

Also Aquaman and the Sub-Mariner usually overcome any inferiority complex against the others by continually and smugly reminding you "Yeah but I run 75% of the planet, bitchass!" You can decide whether that's enough of a counter-argument for yourself.

Jonah Hex isn't in space. Being portrayed by Josh Brolin could be Bad. Ass.

Posted by: Jay at October 10, 2008 2:10 PM

Dogwelder.

Dogwelder is the greatest hero(?) ever.

Posted by: twig at October 10, 2008 2:13 PM

Josh Brolin as Jonah Hex = Yay!

Ryan Gosling as Green Lantern = Huh?

Aquaman news of any kid = Boo!

Dustin owes me a new keyboard for his Transformers comment. Also, shooting Coca-Cola Zero out of one's nose is painful. Now you know...

Posted by: David at October 10, 2008 2:15 PM

Would Aquaman be entirely worthless in an area devoid of sea life? I mean, yeah, he's built and all that, he's got a hook for a hand, he knows Namor, blahblahblah... But does he have anything going for him other than a part-time Red Lobster gig in Des Moines? I mean really. It'd be like taking Batman and dumping him somewhere in North Dakota. Would his coolness and gadgets just be pointless and he'd wind up a County Sheriff or something? Or like a Security Officert, maybe installing home-protection shit? Or how about Spidey? Dump his ass in Nashville - what then Parker? You gonna get a job spinning custom guitar strings for local musicians? Huh? It's all about location, folks. Bottom line though - you meet Aquaman at the Mall of America, he'd better be within twenty feet of Underwater World, 'cause otherwise he'd get taken down by a pack of feral youth with nothing better to do...

Posted by: Skitz at October 10, 2008 2:15 PM

Seriously, which studio head's daughter did Brolin screw to get on the career track he did? He deserved better, and judging from his commentary on Goonies he's a pretty fun cat in person too.

Posted by: Eep at October 10, 2008 2:20 PM

Someone send up the Vermillion signal.

Second, Ryan Gosling is apparently in the running to play The Green Lantern, which should not be confused with Seth Rogen's Green Hornet.

Or the Green Arrow, for that matter. Comic writers are big on creativity.

When is the Black Lightning movie coming you damn rascists?

Posted by: branded at October 10, 2008 2:22 PM

I second the Dogwelder vote. Section Eight = teh r0xx0rz.

Dustin...I love you man, but no one...NO ONE who knows what you're talking about would EVER, EVER confuse the Green Hornet with Green Lantern. EVER.

Also, yes, it's been universally recognized that Aquaman got the short end of the powers stick, which is why WB had such a hard time launching him as a Smallville spin-off.

I look forward to both Transformers and Green Lantern, not so much to Green Hornet unless Kevin Smith finds a way to do the Kato role gracefully.

Posted by: Kat at October 10, 2008 2:25 PM

ONE new transformer in the new movie? That's it? Damn it, I want a whole slew of new Transformers-A Prius that's voiced by Ed Begley Jr, Pee Wee Herman's bike, the Munster mobile, and the Monster trucks from Idiocracy. Also, I want the truck that Shia rolled to be in the movie to run his stupid ass over.-oh, I just googled Skids, and apparently it's Chevy's version of the Fit. Apparently they couldn't get the rights to my 1989 Ford Escort

Posted by: MrCreosote at October 10, 2008 2:26 PM

"They said it was some sort of budget thing, but I think it's because I complained that they were always pairing me up with a white Super Friend, like I was gonna start super-looting the minute they weren't watching. And you think I named myself Black Vulcan? Hell, no! I used to go by Super Volt. Black Vulcan was Aquaman's idea. And I said, 'Well, maybe we should just call you White Fish!'"

Posted by: Jay at October 10, 2008 2:28 PM

OK, I'm with Dustin. What's the difference between the Green Lantern and the Green Hornet? For years I thought they were the same because they both had "green" in them. I have the same problem with "super-whatever" and "bat-whatever" and "whatever-man."

Posted by: BWeaves at October 10, 2008 2:31 PM

Posted by: MrCreosote at October 10, 2008 2:26 PM

I totally read your name as Microscrote, and was about to commend you on your candor. Then I realized I just need a nap and a healthy dose of something non-sexual. Like the Anne of Green Gables movie. Or pudding.

Posted by: Julie at October 10, 2008 2:31 PM

Pudding isn't sexual?

Posted by: Admin11 at October 10, 2008 2:32 PM

When I think pudding, I think goopy. Goopy isn't sexy unless you're Pizza the Hut.

Posted by: Julie at October 10, 2008 2:36 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XhS80rwjIg

Pudding is quite sexy.....

Posted by: Rubble44 at October 10, 2008 2:37 PM

HA HA HA!! Rubble, I knew that link would be The State!

Posted by: Julie at October 10, 2008 2:40 PM

I wish they had the Muppet-eating State clip up. *sigh*

Posted by: twig at October 10, 2008 2:43 PM

Green Hornet was like Batman...rich, lots of gadgets, and no powers. Instead of an Alfred, he had a Chinese manservant named Kato, played by Bruce Lee. They had a kickass theme song (you've heard it if you've seen Kill Bill).

Green Lantern is a title, not a person. They're an intergalactic police force, but the comics focus on the Earthling Green Lanterns. One person gets chosen by the ring when the previous wearer dies, and he gets all kinds of powers along with the ring. Green Lantern has been a black guy before.

In the beginning, his weakness was Yellow, but everyone figured out this was specially-abled and they started phasing it out.

Posted by: Kat at October 10, 2008 2:44 PM

Yes. And now his weakness is pornography. It always boils down to pornography...

Posted by: Skitz at October 10, 2008 2:49 PM

Me too Twig.

I just checked online for The State dvd release date (nothing yet it seems), but I did find this link to IFC's 50 Greatest Comedy Sketches on their website. I'm not getting work done today.

http://www.nerve.com/dispatches/nerveeditors/50GreatestComedySketches/01/

Posted by: Julie at October 10, 2008 2:50 PM

Thanks Kat! That helps. So if a Green Lantern ever comes to get me, all I have to do is bee on him and I'm free.

Posted by: BWeaves at October 10, 2008 3:08 PM

Not a comics person.

I got curious about this "Dogwelder," though, so I consulted the wonderful Wikipedia, which says:

"Dogwelder: A thin, silent man in a welder's mask who spot welds dead canines to evildoers, resulting in extreme burns and general horror. The question of how exactly one can weld a flesh and blood animal to a person is not answered by the series."

I wouldn't just pay to see this--I would fucking invest in a movie about this.

Posted by: Jerce at October 10, 2008 3:10 PM

Oh please not that half a fag Ryan Gosling as the Green Lantern, what a fucking bummer. Rowles, I'm sure you're fucking happy for Gosling, seeing as you think he piss Cristal.

Posted by: Pookie at October 10, 2008 3:18 PM

Jerce-

He has a whole team called Section 8. It's like the justice league. Dogwelder is probably the most bankable, but his teammates are PhlegmGem (guess what his power is?), Friendly Fire, Sixpack (fights with broken beer bottles), Jean de Baton-Baton (who fights with the power of Frenchness), Shakes, the Defenestrator, and Bueno Excellente, who fights with the power of perversion.

Posted by: Kat at October 10, 2008 3:19 PM

Julie, I just watched Spaceballs yesterday and can't imagine how Pizza The Hut would be considered sexy anywhere. But pudding? That's not just totally sexy, that's fun! Although doing laundry afterwards can be a real bitch. *ahem* Or so I'm told.

Erotic is using a feather. Exotic is using the whole chicken!

Posted by: lordhelmet at October 10, 2008 3:25 PM

Someone send up the Vermillion signal.

Sorry I am late, got caught in traffic.

Do you have any idea what a detriment it is to write for a geek-heavy film site and know so little about comic books?

What gets me isn't that, but how you still think you aren't a complete and total geek despite it.

Jonah Hex isn't a space cowboy, just a damn good bounty hunter who got transported to a post-apoc future. Oh, and in one story, he killed Superman with kryptonite bullets.

Green Lantern, well Kat did that one admirably.

Aquaman, oh Aquaman. thing is, people have maligned him for so long that nearly every writer that gets him feel sthey have to make him awesome. Of course, mothing they do can make up for a shitty TV show (Superfriends) too many people remember. I think this is how Batman would have ended up if Frank Miller hadn't bothered.

Funny how no one really makes Namor jokes, even though they are basically the same. I guess a guy has to try and force himself on a superheroine (who is marreid to ANOTHER superhero) every few years in order to get some respect.

Skids? Which one was he again? Seriously, the more I think about, the more I realize I never really gave a shit about Transformers. Except Beast Wars. That was the bomb.

Posted by: Vermillion at October 10, 2008 3:31 PM

I think this is how Batman would have ended up if Frank Miller hadn't bothered.

We're talking DKR and not ASSBAR, right? Right?

Posted by: twig at October 10, 2008 3:36 PM

Jonah Hex is a cowboy from the old west. He's an anti-hero because he picks fights and drinks a lot.

Green Lantern's ring could be useless against yellow because yellow is the universal color of fear. In order to be a Green Lantern, you have to have incredible willpower and be fearless. When you feel fear, the yellow can slide past your ring's defenses and kick your ass.

And no bashing Aqua-Man. He crushed a dude with a killer whale.

Posted by: Gayle at October 10, 2008 3:50 PM

Erotic is using a feather. Exotic is using the whole chicken!

Hee! Mmm, beaky.

Posted by: Julie at October 10, 2008 3:53 PM

I really don't know much about the comics part of this post.

But Josh Brolin = awesome in anything.

Also, MrCreosote, I really hope that by "Munster mobile" you mean Dragula.

Posted by: lizzieborden at October 10, 2008 3:54 PM

And no bashing Aqua-Man. He crushed a dude with a killer whale.

He threw a polar bear at some dudes once, too.

Posted by: twig at October 10, 2008 3:55 PM

Sofia, I'm actually semi-creeped out by that image. *looks around uneasily*

Anyways, I really have no idea what any of this is about, but I want to say that the one and only gun-slinging space cowboy in my heart goes by the name of Spike Spiegel.

BANG!

Posted by: monkey_b at October 10, 2008 4:01 PM

I heard he can shoot sardines from his fingertips and can bring fishsticks back to life. Still doesn't change the fact that if dumped in Illinios, he'd best find himself a SeaWorld or he's gonna get his ass handed to him.

Posted by: Skitz at October 10, 2008 4:04 PM

Hey, there are still above-ground pools, don'tcha know.

Posted by: monkey_b at October 10, 2008 4:51 PM

What? So Aquaman not only talks to fish, he throws animals to people too? Shit, that's heroic.

Posted by: JC at October 10, 2008 5:03 PM

Comic geek powers, activate!

Aquaman can swim up to 100 mph, run on land 75 mph, lift on land approx 100 TONS, is immune to cold and pressure, and controls 3/4 of the Earth's surface. Also he is a King and has a big-ass Atlantean army under his command.

And yet, most of his shit is boring.

Posted by: firedmyass at October 10, 2008 5:04 PM

Flying under water = swimming

You fail, aquaman. Now go tell me why that manatee is giving me the stink eye.

Posted by: Just kyle at October 10, 2008 6:19 PM

"They said it was some sort of budget thing, but I think it's because I complained that they were always pairing me up with a white Super Friend, like I was gonna start super-looting the minute they weren't watching. And you think I named myself Black Vulcan? Hell, no! I used to go by Super Volt. Black Vulcan was Aquaman's idea. And I said, 'Well, maybe we should just call you White Fish!'"


Posted by: Jay at October 10, 2008 2:28 PM

well played Jay. love me some Harvey Birdman

Posted by: VinKong at October 10, 2008 7:07 PM

Wow. Not only do I have to turn in my geek card for not properly referencing Dragula, I have to deal with this tiny, tiny scrotum issue. I guess the proper punishment would be sitting through a Rod Zombie directed movie. Just not that remake of Halloween.

A transformer Dragula though, that would be fantastic.

Also, the Murdertank should really get a cameo.

Posted by: MrCreosote at October 10, 2008 7:10 PM

Wow. Not only do I have to turn in my geek card for not properly referencing Dragula, I have to deal with this tiny, tiny scrotum issue. I guess the proper punishment would be sitting through a Rod Zombie directed movie. Just not that remake of Halloween.

A transformer Dragula though, that would be fantastic.

Also, the Murdertank should really get a cameo.

Posted by: MrCreosote at October 10, 2008 7:10 PM

Who the fuck is Skids? If you want chrasimatic Autobots, bring in Wheeljack and Grimlock, not some dumbass robot nobody's ever heard of. Hell, John Bender will do in a fix.

And where the fuck is Soundwave? He'd best be in the sequel (which I'll be downloading because fuck Michael Bay) with all three major Casseticons or I'm going to eat the screenwriters. Yes, I mean you, Ehren Kruger, Alex Kurtzman, and Roberto Orci. Get on that shit or prepare to be devoured opening weekend.

Posted by: Lucas at October 10, 2008 7:20 PM

Is Green Lantern the one with that tattoo? I don't know shit about him, but if Ryan Goslin is involved, I will see it. Multiple times.

Posted by: Gabs at October 10, 2008 7:50 PM

Is Green Lantern the one with that tattoo?

I don't know who you're thinking of, but no, I think that's someone else.

But.....David Boreanaz played him in the animated "The New Frontier" movie. And Neil Patrick Harris is The Flash. NOW will you fucking people watch it?????

Posted by: Jay at October 10, 2008 8:00 PM

In the Justice League Animated Series Jonah Hex was played by Adam Baldwin. One of his lines was, "Don't have a lot o' time for jawin'. In these parts there's an abundance o' men who need settin' straight".

If they make a movie about that guy I am so frikkin' there.

Posted by: James at October 10, 2008 10:22 PM

Namor can fly. And Josh Brolin is pretty much perfect for Jonah Hex.

Posted by: Rob at October 11, 2008 12:38 AM

Well, I like Josh Brolin and Ryan Gosling a lot, so I'm just happy to hear that they're getting film roles.

I couldn't be less excited for the new Transformers. The last one was awful.

Posted by: Audiosuede at October 11, 2008 2:04 AM

What the hell, I demand my black green lantern back, boo Ryan Gosling, Common for green lantern!

Posted by: Brasky at October 12, 2008 7:24 PM

Greetings, surface-dwellers:

Blow me. Seriously. You think you're so damned cool? I command the creatures of the sea. Hear that? I. Command. Them. Not as in I've got them trained, but I can actually tell them what to do and they DO IT. No, it's not like how you trained your dog how to jump through a hula-hoop or how you trained your cat to make doody in the toilet. I look at the fish, think what I want them to do, and POOF! Done. Who else can do that, huh? Superman? Pfft. Wonder Woman? Please... Oh, how 'bout this guy - the Flash? Are you SERIOUS? "Hey look at me, I can run fast... If anyone has a bullshit power, it's that guy. Listen Wally, hows about you jog on over to the ocean and I can show you what a real hero can do... Run fast... Bullshit. This site sucks blowholes... I don't need your goddam movies. I've got the ocean. All of it.

Posted by: Aquaman at October 13, 2008 11:51 AM

See? I told you.

Posted by: Jay at October 13, 2008 11:54 AM

Hey Aquaprick,

You're not the only fish in the ocean, asshole. In case you forgot, I'm here too. King of Atlantis? Ring a bell, Superturd? Listen up, Cap'n Hook - I can fly. That's right. Let me serve you up an Okie quote - Anything you can do, I can do better - I can do anything better than you. Then, now, and forever. Listen - here's an Atlantis Scepter - why don't you pawn it off and use the cash to get a shave and a haircut, huh? If you got a couple bucks left over, maybe you could buy yourself a few goldfish to "rule" over. Punk...

Posted by: Namor at October 13, 2008 11:58 AM

For the record, it's SuperFriends, Nimrod. What group were you a part of, huh? Ooh, the Avengers? Wow, I just crapped my green scaly pants! Why don't you and your lame-ass ankle wings blow a manatee, Vulcan-ears?

Posted by: Aquaman at October 13, 2008 12:02 PM

Yeah. The Avengers. Thor, Captain America, Iron Man - any of those ring a bell? Who was on your team, huh? Oh yeah - Wendy and Marvin. Gosh, they were a force to be reckoned with, huh? Oh, and who could forget the Wonder Twins? "Form of Useless Geeks! Whoo!" The only thing that kept those two from getting their asses handed to them was Gleek, their goddam monkey...

I've held my own with the Hulk, you pansy... The Hulk. Yeah.

Posted by: Namor at October 13, 2008 12:33 PM

PUNY NAMOR CANNOT HURT HULK!! HULK STRONGER THAN PUNY FLYING MAN! FLYING FISH MAN MAKE HULK SMASH. HULK SMASH!! HULK ONLY EAT MEAT! FISH FOR WEAK MAN! STUPID NAMOR FLY AWAY FROM HULK AND MAKE HULK CONFUSED!
GRAAAHHULKSMAAAASH!


(psst! Aquaman - like that? It's what we talked about right? Cool. Not sure I'll be near the ocean anytime soon, but you can just make the check out to Bruce Banner, okay? Still trying to keep this "Hulk" thing under wraps for a while. Take it easy, BB)

Posted by: iMKrebiblE HulK at October 13, 2008 6:00 PM

Well, lookee here... Looks like someone got S E R V E D! Hey, d'you smell that, Gaymor? That's the stink of the Green Goliath deep frying your fish balls! Tthere's only one King of the sea, bitch - ME. Maybe you'll luck out and get a gig as a lifeguard at the YMCA...

Posted by: Aquaman at October 13, 2008 6:04 PM

Hey, you know what's funnier than you paying off Banner to post some ridiculous bullshit, Aquadork? The fact that despite your soggy-hippie picture at the top, the news has NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU! Did you happen to catch that? It's about Green Lantern. It's about Jonah Hex. It's about Green Hornet. It's even about Transformers, for cod's sake. You know what it's not about? You. Nobody has any interest in making a movie about you. NOBODY. Shit, after this year's Olympics, the only guy anybody wants to see swimming is that Phelps kid...

Posted by: Namor KING OF THE OCEAN! at October 13, 2008 6:23 PM

I'd like to hear more from iMKrebiblE HulK.

Thanks.

Posted by: Sabrina at October 13, 2008 6:28 PM

Hold on a second there, Mr. Namor. You didn't exactly "hold your own" against me, you know. You survived an encounter with me, yeah, but I wouldn't say you "held your own". Granted, I'm not the brightest bulb in the bunch when I'm all hulked-out, but I know I pretty much whupped your ass last time we met... That being said, I'd appreciate it if you didn't drag me into your internet spat with Aquaman.

Thanks,
Bruce Banner

Posted by: Dr. Bruce Banner at October 13, 2008 6:35 PM

I'm sorry, Sarina - the Hulk doesn't show up unless I'm angry. And you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

Unless you're into that...

Posted by: Dr. Bruce Banner at October 13, 2008 6:46 PM

Oh, well now you've gone and made ME mad, "Dr." Banner. Doctor of what, huh? Clearly not spelling, you roided-out piece of trash.

Posted by: SaBrina at October 13, 2008 6:49 PM

OH SNAP! That's right Banner! Super strength yes. Decent eyesight no. Go home and hem your purple trousers you goddam has-been!

Posted by: Namor KING OF THE OCEAN! at October 13, 2008 7:01 PM

It was a simple mistake, Miss. I apologize. As far as the drug accusations go, I've never, in my life taken steroi...

Hey, screw you Namor! You want a piece of me, you've got it. I said I didn't want to be brought into your stupid argument with Aquerman, and now you're just being a dick!

Posted by: Dr. Bruce Banner at October 13, 2008 7:04 PM

"...argument with Aquerman..."

I think both she and Namor have a point Banner. It's Aquaman. And yeah - what exactly are you a doctor of?

So how 'bout it Gaymor? You gonna step up, or you gonna dog-paddle around the challenge? Banner called you out - you up for an ass-whupping?

Posted by: Aquaman, the REAL King of the sea at October 13, 2008 7:08 PM

It was a simple mistake, Miss. I apologize.

Teehee, I forgive you. So charming.

Hey Namor, you bully. At least I've heard of Banner, false practitioner though he may be. And he doesn't wear a banana hammock and bracelets. And isn't named after a poem.

Posted by: Disgusted by so-called superheroes at October 13, 2008 7:14 PM

Well. I hadn't read this thread because I don't read comics and I'm all graphic-novel-retarded over here, so I just kinda skipped the whole thing. But lo and behold, to what should my wandering eyes appear? That's right - more people confusing me with my evil twin/arch nemesis/alter ego (she's the one with the superpowers... I think).

Listen, people, there are two of us. I'm Sarina (like Sarah, which is my actual name) and she's SaBrina, with a B. I am sorry that it's all confusing 'n shit, but life ain't always glitter and unicorns, okay? Now stop mixing us up before I start forgetting which one of us I actually am.

I now return you to your regular comic feuding.

Posted by: Sarina at October 13, 2008 7:15 PM

Listen, Aqualung - don't get on me about what my degree is in and then turn around challenging Lame-or to fight me. You two are the ones with the problem. Christ, why don't the two of you fight it out? You're basically the same damned useless hero, but with different outfits...

Posted by: Dr. Bruce Banner at October 13, 2008 7:23 PM

You know what? I'm just going to modify my name and prevent any future confusion.

Posted by: SabrinaThor at October 13, 2008 7:24 PM

I think the whole lot of you are lame...

Posted by: Skitz at October 13, 2008 7:24 PM

*holy choir*

All y'all need to shut the hell up, I'm the ultimate superhero, anything you do to me will be reversed within three days.

Posted by: Super Jesus at October 13, 2008 7:40 PM

Hee! Sabrina, that's exactly how I ended up using the nickname that only two people called me (one of whom I'm not even friends with anymore). Of course, now people tell me that it's weird to call me Sarah, so go figure.

Posted by: Sarina at October 13, 2008 7:43 PM

(hic) Whaz been goin on guy? Is theres a debates about shooperheroes goinging on? I wash jusst chillinging a wif abotttle in frontof me ,, Is me need Avengerrs asssembles? Whoot!

C'mon Thor - gitcher hammer an les get to craked some skulls brohein! YeahaaaAAAAAARGHJBLARG!

Holy macromony batchumks, I justed berfed on my suitcoatds! L:es go to the Batscave!

Bruce - whaaasuuup! You and catlady still working it out> Props t alfared, that carazy niggaE knows what times it is..! Lest go get DA PENGIUN BROH!!!!!@# Whopot!

SEroius thou..a..... we needs to geta togefer an show peoplle waht were about now1! Know moree nUkes!!2z

.....zzzzzzzz

Posted by: Tony Stark at October 13, 2008 9:42 PM

Jesus Christ, I can't believe I've associated with you people... I've got perhaps the most lackluster of abilities amongst you all, yet it would appear that I'm the only one above all this internet cockfighting. Seriously Stark - there was a fantastic biography of you in theaters this year and yet this is how you choose to conduct yourself? The answer's not in a bottle, my friend - it's in legitimate counseling...

- Antman -

Posted by: Ant Man at October 13, 2008 9:47 PM

Oooh antman! WHAAssuUp, dood/ ? Gah dyou Memeber thre time we tried to pusts you in that ants famr for a joke? Godam, tha shit waz hilarous!!!!! LMAOFLAO.. Fuckn you and wapss Wasp were trying for making out and ThroThor was all "twixt be a righteoustes buffoonery to put hims namesakes in a an and anttfarm!!"" Godam , that was good times brothrrer..... m,nklbj oop!

Posted by: ToMy Starks at October 13, 2008 9:51 PM

Um... Don't wanna be out of line here, but you guys? Yeah, I grew up reading your comics and stuff, so it's kind of a downer to hear you all rattling on on a movie review site. Actually, replace "downer" with "embarrassment", and it's a little more close to home...

Posted by: Skitz at October 13, 2008 9:55 PM

ASUck my Iron DIck yoU! WHOO! Fuckin co nmic book geks anyhawys,,,,

Hey, les got to Woner Wimmiins house.. I got her adress..s.

Womer Twin power activite!! From of dilbo!O! HAHAhahaha a./..

Posted by: TWR ....... starks at October 13, 2008 9:58 PM

The fuck happened here? This is worse than Jake Ryan's party.

Posted by: Jay at October 13, 2008 10:12 PM

I don't know Jay. But I just made a fresh bag of popcorn.

Posted by: jM at October 13, 2008 10:17 PM

Shhhh, Jay, he'll hear you! Back out slowly and let him have his meltdown with some dignity...

We're leaving! You're all alone here, Skittiummm, Tony and Aquaman, Bruce, ummm, Ant Man, and you know, anyone else...Go about your business. It's cool. You're in a safe place...loving arms all around you...

Posted by: Lainey at October 13, 2008 10:18 PM

Hey... don't blame me for the superhero quarrel that went on yesterday. I stick to Bay, Orlock, Stanley Sobieski, Conrad, Buddha and on occasion, Wendel. I can't possibly add Tony Stark, Banner, Ant Man, Namor, and Aquaman to that mix. That's just too many to keep track off...

Posted by: Skitz at October 14, 2008 11:39 AM