web counter
 

I'm Pretty Sure Kemo Sabe Just Means Dumbass Cracker

By TK | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (8)

mike-newell-may-direct-the-lone-ranger.jpg

Wow, is this ever a dumb idea. I mean, a really dumb idea. Making a movie out of The Lone Ranger, a character who, while pretty iconic, hasn’t had a decent adaptation in the last 50 or so years? Plus, there’s the whole “trusty indian sidekick” thing for people to get in a tizzy about. And yet, here we are…

Disney (of course) has signed Gore Verbinski to direct The Lone Ranger, doubtless hoping he can do for the Ranger what he miraculously did for Pirates Of The Caribbean — that is, make a mega-franchise out of a singularly stupid fucking idea. To sweeten the deal, Johnny Depp has signed on, because apparently Verbinski is second only to Tim Burton for Johnny Depp these days.

Oddly enough, Depp won’t be playing John Reid aka The Lone Ranger (so-called because Tonto, after finding him in the aftermath of a massacre of Texas Rangers, proclaimed, “others dead, you lone ranger now”). Instead, Depp will be playing Tonto.

I have no idea where to take the joke from there. So instead, I will leave you with this: footage from the atrociously hideously awful 2003 TV movie starring Chad Michael Murray as The Lone Ranger. It’s baaaad.

You’re welcome.

(source: Variety)









Each Time You Like, Share, Tweet or Stumble a Pajiba Post, An Angel Does the Paul Rudd Dance

← Leslie Nielsen: Dead and Loving It | 1926-2010 | Mark Ruffalo Added to Pennsylvania's Terror Watch List | You Stay Classy Pennsylvania →









Comments

Well, there was the 1981 adaptation, starring the ubiquitous Klinton Spilsbury.
Christopher Lloyd was the baddie (Cavendish), Jason Robards was the Prez; Michael Horse, Tonto.
I remember seeing it in the theater, plus a gazillion times on HBO back then, but I don't really remember if it was "decent."

This is a really bad idea, though.
But when has that ever been a deterrent to something being made in Hollywood?

Posted by: Rykker at November 29, 2010 9:48 AM

Depp will be playing Tonto.

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..........????


I was actually thinking the other day that they should find a way to remake something like Buck Rodgers or The Lone Ranger. Mostly Buck Rodgers though.

Kemo Sabe is difficult to sell to these kids today.

Posted by: Fredo at November 29, 2010 10:09 AM

What you mean "we," white man?

Still one of my favorite jokes.

Posted by: , at November 29, 2010 10:15 AM

I'm pretty sure The Lone Ranger will be Asian. It doesn't matter which one.

Posted by: admin at November 29, 2010 10:22 AM

What the FUCK

That is all.

Posted by: Ian at November 29, 2010 11:16 AM

Studio conversation:

Westerns are hot! Lets re-do The Big Valley! Nope someone is already doing it. Damn!
How about Bonanaza? We'll get Jack Black as Hoss, Justin Bieber as little Joe and that guy from Twilight as Adam. No the twilight guy is busy doin twilight. DAMN!
Okay the Lone Ranger! Well get Sam Worthington to play the Ranger and Will Ferrel to be Tonto. Ferrel is busy? How about Depp? He's box office gold but people think of him as a Pirate...

Ahh a indian is like a pirate so get him!

Posted by: logan at November 29, 2010 12:09 PM

It's good to know that in Hollywood, indian = pirate.

Poor Native Americans, always getting the shaft. I saw Windtalkers promoted the other day, and the spot said it was starring "Nicolas Cage and Christian Slater", there was no mention of Adam Beach, who played the main Native American character, in a movie about Navajo Codetalkers.....

Everybody watch Smoke Signals.

Posted by: e at November 29, 2010 12:46 PM

Johnny Depp is part indian, hence his tattoo and always saying that hes part indian.

Or "Native American" as they say.

Posted by: Rin at November 29, 2010 8:08 PM