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God Help the Cinderblocks Who Pay Money to See This Movie

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (46)



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Look: Maybe you’re a huge Adult Swim fan and you’re all up in Tim and Eric’s grill. Maybe you’re the cool kid that understands what the fuck is going with these guys, but I’m just a poor hillbilly from Arkansas and the trailer for Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie doesn’t make a lick of goddamn sense. And you know what? I don’t want it to. I don’t want to be the kind of guy who understands what the meaning behind a overweight, mustachioed man/woman hopping on a lilly pad while another man with a long-ass neck pops up like a deranged gofer. Dan summed this up perfectly on Twitter yesterday:

“Look, it will rarely be funny. Just act like it is, and people will be too scared not to go along.” — original Tim & Eric pitch meeting

I’m not too scared. Are you? Because this movie looks like a feral dog’s ass crack.









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Comments

I equate their show with the downfall of Adult Swim into a never-ending rerun fest of McFarlane douchetoons.

Before them: ATHF, Space Ghost Coast-to-Coast, The Brak Show.

After them: too much shite (and Metalocalypse)

Posted by: Fredo at December 1, 2011 11:46 AM

You either get it or you don't. This trailer shows exactly that. Doesn't want anyone joining the party, that's just there to be in the pictures.

Posted by: Brian at December 1, 2011 11:46 AM

Holy shit. Warn us before you put pics like that up. It's like a train full of babies had a horrible accident at a puppy factory...everywhere I look the horror gets worse.

Posted by: NateS1973 at December 1, 2011 11:48 AM

I don't understand how they expect to make money with movies aimed at the three people who "get it." Even if it's 30 people.

Posted by: , at December 1, 2011 11:54 AM

wow at the tim & eric hate. sure it doesn't make sense, but i'll be damned if those two effing weirdos don't make me lose it every now and again when I'm drunk and/or sleep deprived. oh well, more cray-cray for the rest of us.

Posted by: beet salad at December 1, 2011 12:00 PM

It looks jokes!

Posted by: jackyboy at December 1, 2011 12:00 PM

additionally, why hate on feral dogs? if you insult them, do their ass cracks not bleed?

pardon me, i think i just yarked in my mouth from that one...

Posted by: beet salad at December 1, 2011 12:02 PM

Tim & Eric are good for exactly one thing: giving us Dr. Steve Brule.

Posted by: Seany D at December 1, 2011 12:05 PM

I don't think dogs have ass cracks...

Posted by: the new transported man at December 1, 2011 12:10 PM

This is such a Crimbus gift.

Posted by: Brian at December 1, 2011 12:18 PM

More importantly, do dogs (feral or otherwise), actually have ass cracks? True, some breeds do have more of a cleft or depression between the haunches than others, but none are exactly what you'd call "bootylicious". If dogs had enough back to qualify for a crack it would make the floor scoot a pretty superfluos activity.

Posted by: Groundloop at December 1, 2011 12:20 PM

So their big move is to rip off Leslie Hall?

Posted by: Jay at December 1, 2011 12:23 PM

If dogs had ass cracks, then by definition they would have butt cheeks. If they had butt cheeks, then we humans would hear them when let rip one of those so-rancid-it-HAD-to-be-the-dog farts. You know what I'm talking about .... the kind of fart that lingers in the room for hours, and coats the back of you throat and sinus cavity, kinda gives you the dry heaves and only happens when you are trying to get it on with your girl.

So, I don't think dogs actually have ass cracks.

Posted by: handy_man at December 1, 2011 1:10 PM

I was on the floor crylaughing last night because TandE the shit yo. all yaguys keep thinking someone has to "get it" for it to be funny. whatever... this web site needs laxatives and condoms because stiff, constipated, "omg-I'm-too-smart-to-laugh-at-something-stupid," is a contagious venereal disease and you're the reason god doesn't talk to us any more

Seany D knows what's up. brule's rules foryourhealTH!!

Posted by: DaPoonHouch at December 1, 2011 1:31 PM

I have no problem with laughing at something stupid if it's funny. Problem is, this show isn't funny.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at December 1, 2011 1:46 PM

I'm reminded of how Xiu Xiu has any sort of career.

Posted by: googergieger at December 1, 2011 1:52 PM

have you tried digging it out with your finger?

Posted by: DaPoonHouch at December 1, 2011 1:54 PM

You have mortally insulted every feral dog's ass, and its resident bunghole, by equating it to this mess of tripe.

I have been appalled by Cartoon Network's perversely misguided use of live-action shows instead of, you know, cartoons. When shit like Tim & Eric or Children's Hospital comes on, I watch ESPN or MSNBC.

Posted by: The Wanderer at December 1, 2011 2:03 PM

I like T&E in small doses. Too much of it sends me into kind of a weird overload state where I have to decompress.

Posted by: Bruce at December 1, 2011 2:17 PM

Dogs are known serial cock blockers. Cutting a rancid one lose when your trying to get it on with a girl is just one of their tactics.

Posted by: vhrico at December 1, 2011 2:31 PM

Tim & Eric are best taken in 11-minute doses. Unless they have something completely unexpected in mind for their movie, it's going to be like eating a punch bowl of olives.

Posted by: Mark at December 1, 2011 3:07 PM

Is like Teletubbies? Is it TV for 1 year olds?

Posted by: John G. at December 1, 2011 3:16 PM

I don't understand how they expect to make money with movies aimed at the three people who "get it." Even if it's 30 people.

While it is called "Billion Dollar Movie," I think the title may be ironic. It may only take 30 or so people to make it back.

As for all the Tim and Eric hating going on, people need to relax a little. More than that, people need to stop referring to these people who "get it." Who are they?

There's nothing to get. If you find nonsense funny or you don't. I think How I Met Your Mother is horribly unfunny (with the exception of the Robin Sparkles videos), but that doesn't mean I don't "get it." It is unfunny to me because it's not my type of humour. That doesn't mean I have to bitch and moan about the intellectual fate of society every time some jackoff thinks it's hilarious.

Perhaps I will be labeled immediately for saying this, but when I watch Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! (please have the respect to refer to it by its proper name), I laugh like crazy without necessarily knowing why.

Yes, it's a shallow form of humour, but sometimes I am in the mood for a shallow laugh. I don't always have time to watch 3 seasons of TV to get one Beetlejuice joke. Sometimes I just want to have a bunch of weird shit thrown at me faster than I can process it. It gives me the pleasure.

I know this site is about being bitchy and elitist, but every time something like this trailer or a Jackass movie comes out, I have to hear a bunch of pompous opining on the state of entertainment and the population that consumes it.

MelBivDevoe- Are you seriously so special that your opinions define what is funny for everyone else? "I don't think it's funny" would be a far less asinine thing to say.

Posted by: Pfft at December 1, 2011 3:16 PM

Is DaPoonHouch haplo's held-back-in-school, meth-head cousin?

And I mean that with nothing but love for haplo.

Posted by: Ghisent at December 1, 2011 3:39 PM

I spent an afternoon watching this show once, and marathoning it was NOT a good idea. Every once in a while I'd crack a smile (usually for a guest like Jeff Goldblum, cuz it's Jeff Goldblum), but mostly it just made me feel sad and confused.

Posted by: kelsy at December 1, 2011 3:47 PM

I know this site is about being bitchy and elitist, but every time something like this trailer or a Jackass movie comes out, I have to hear a bunch of pompous opining on the state of entertainment and the population that consumes it.

That's because you don't get it.

Posted by: Jast at December 1, 2011 3:58 PM

It's an LSD trip projected on the screen for your amusement. It's weird and perverse and frightening and funny. There's really nothing to "get". It's an experience, and it's definitely not for everyone. I personally love the show, and I even went with friends to see their live tour when they rolled through Dallas. It's all about letting the absurdity wash over you.

Make sure your Chrimbus bush is trimmed and wet.

Posted by: JustBill at December 1, 2011 4:02 PM

I thought Hipsters were supposed to "get things" the rest of us don't. Did things change? is it backwards now? I'm so out of the loop.

Posted by: Blank at December 1, 2011 4:03 PM

I get it. Wish I didn't, actually. Two guys with a healthy love/hate sex/dominance thing going on, playing it out on television, complete with crossdressing, role playing and lots and lots of drooly mouth felchy baby diaper fetish. Throw in some bus station loiterers and a drunk from the Lucky Lady next to Lums and you're set.

I get that these guys were probably writers for some great show and their ideas blah blah. They suck. They're like if Adam Sandler's extras got a movie and these two guys were the extras for those guys and shilled their 3 minutes into 10.

Posted by: Protoguy at December 1, 2011 4:30 PM

"...when I watch Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! (please have the respect to refer to it by its proper name)"

Now I know you're trollin

Posted by: Protoguy at December 1, 2011 4:32 PM

Now I know you're trollin

Someone has to explain to me what trolling actually is because I've only ever been accused of it when I am defending myself and others like me. Bigoted comments in the actual post and comments echoing the sentiment are never labeled as such. Does trolling just mean you have an opinion that differs from consensus? I was under the impression it meant being habitually contrarian to get attention, not disagreeing with comments that offend one's sensibility.

I'm not trying to be dramatic, I just really want to know. The word "troll" bothers me when it is used. Being the reason for that use bothers me even more. Please enlighten me so's I can avoid having to wear that name-tag in the future.

Aside from the above confusion, I enjoyed your criticism of Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! Clearly you are acquainted with the subject matter and have put some thought into your critique.

I would rebut, but I think I would need more time to collate my points. Perhaps an essay should be considered.

Posted by: Pfft at December 1, 2011 5:05 PM

This looks not even remotely funny to me, but its existence brought about the ass crack and dog fart discussion, so I'm OK with it. Thanks, handy_man, for the laugh.

Incidentally, cats fart too. Not as much, and it tends to be a much smaller event, but it also tends to happen as they're positioning themselves in your lap so you get a direct hit to the face.

Posted by: DeadBessie at December 1, 2011 5:47 PM

There's nothing to "get" with Tim and Eric; it's just absurd humor.

Personally, I think the 15-minute format for the show is perfect. A small dose of crazy once a week is quite enjoyable ("For your health"). I'll give the movie a shot because I do enjoy their show (they have some of the best guest star skits), but I'm going to expect that movie-long is too-long.

Posted by: gee. ay. at December 1, 2011 5:59 PM

Protoguy - a few years ago I had a blog which I called "A Work in Progress", so when I clicked on your link I saw it had a similar name I thought "Is this guy linking to my blog??!!" But after that indignant split second reaction I realized that I changed the name of my blog to "Liz Phair is my Homegirl" and haven't updated it in two years. Oops!

Posted by: debbye at December 1, 2011 6:20 PM

A troll is someone who says something ludicrous to illicit a reaction, usually to piss people off. That fits that description, in my opinion.

debbye, sorry I stole your name. I was surprised it was available.

Posted by: Protoguy at December 1, 2011 8:04 PM

I think the term gets thrown around a little too much for my taste, especially in this case. Trying to lighten the mood with an aside does not strike me as "trolling."

The title and content of this post, however, fit your definition pretty well.

Posted by: Pfft at December 1, 2011 8:50 PM

@Pfft - To answer your question, yes, obviously. Is that asinine enough for you?

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at December 1, 2011 9:45 PM

Where's my Venture Bros. movie? That has movie potential!

Posted by: LEROOOY at December 1, 2011 10:01 PM

I thought your response was even more trolling, but I can see you are just that literal. I knew I should have posted what I first wrote, which was brilliant.

Metalocalypse kicks ass. Suck it, that's why.

Posted by: Protoguy at December 1, 2011 10:40 PM

Posted by: Pfft at December 1, 2011 3:16 PM
---
See, I literally meant 30.

What it seems to me is that more and more movies are getting made for smaller and smaller niche audiences. I think the same thing about video game and comic book movies, or like the way Saturday Night Live used to keep trying to turn sketches into movies. Really, how many people were screaming for a fucking Green Lantern movie? Who's asking for this? How big can the target audience possibly be?

I just wonder what the threshold is for making a profit (if that's even one of your goals) when you're aiming at a fragment of a fragment of an audience that watches one obscure show on one of the 5,000 available cable channels. It was meant not as a slam but as a serious question. Why is a movie being made for 30 people?

Posted by: , at December 2, 2011 2:50 AM

It's pretty obvious that Tim & Eric (the people) aren't stupid. Tim Heidecker is smart and funny (his recently released album of Herman Cain [satirical] tribute music is great), and they're both talented writers. The fact that the likes of Pajiba favorites Zach Galifianakis, Patton Oswalt, and many, many others equally talented and influential frequently collaborate with them is proof that just because their humor isn't for everyone, there's enough people out there who get what they're doing and think it's great.

I think people are intelligent enough to accept that even though "Tim & Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!" might not be for them, they're not forcing it on anybody who's not already a fan anyway.

My 2 cents.

Posted by: add at December 2, 2011 3:56 AM

Protoguy - I don't really know what to do with myself. I almost got into a fistfight with an acquaintance the other day because he thought I was being viciously sarcastic when I was actually in total agreement with him.

Posted by: Pfft at December 2, 2011 5:59 AM

Well, Pfft, were you desperately and in an absurdly earnest way trying to defend something silly like cheez whiz, because that may be why people think you're being a sarcastic troll and you get into near fist fights with acquaintances.

Posted by: John G. at December 2, 2011 2:07 PM

No, I wasn't. Because I don't want to reopen old wounds, I won't launch into a lengthy explanation of why Tim and Eric or "Cheez Whiz" has value. I will merely provide you with a transcript:

Guy: This music is too loud. I can't hear what you're saying. I wish they would turn the music down.

Me: Yeah, because I totally came here to talk to you and not to listen to music.

Writing that, yes, it sounds sarcastic. it was not.

Posted by: Pfft at December 2, 2011 5:05 PM

P.S. - You're all trolls.

Posted by: Pfft at December 2, 2011 5:06 PM

I equate their show with the downfall of Adult Swim into a never-ending rerun fest of McFarlane douchetoons.

p.s:if you interested, please check this exciting club for fun _seekcasual dot com_
Thank you very much.

Posted by: kengao at December 7, 2011 12:32 AM