January 16, 2007 | Comments ()

By Dustin Rowles | Trade News | January 16, 2007 |


It’s like I’ve died and gone to a heaven owned and operated by VH1, a place where Jim Forbes (the narrator of “Behind the Music”) is God and BWE’s Alex Blagg stands guard in front of the pearly gates, dinging plebs like me because I’m not hipster enough to wax poetic about the size of Cisco Adler’s testicles and then flaunt my knowledge of obscure indie bands to shake off the stink of profiteering on Paris Hilton’s orgiastic social life. Indeed, Universal Pictures has started production on a biopic about the lives of Fabrice Morvan and Rob Pilatus, best known as the pop duo Milli Vanilli. According to Variety, the film will be a Catch Me If You Can-style feature focused on the long con the two lip-synchers pulled on the world, selling 11 million albums and winning a Grammy before they were exposed as frauds. So far, no talent has been attached, but Jeff Nathanson (who wrote the aforementioned Catch Me If You Can, Rush Hour 2 and 3, and the fourth Indiana Jones film) has been hired to write the script. And just so this industry item jangles around in your mind for the entirety of your three-day weekend, here are some sample lyrics just to get the ball rolling: “Blame it on the rain (rain) / Blame it on the stars (stars)/ Whatever you do, don’t put the blame on you / Blame it on the rain yeah (yeah).”

You’re welcome.

And in the box-office roundup, last weekend the unthinkable happened: Norbit grossed $33 million, ensuring that lazy comedians will continue to strap themselves in wigs and a fat suits and speak in clich├ęd Ebonics so that they can serve an over-nourished niche of the American public obsessed with watching Oscar-nominated actors suffer the indignity of flapping their prosthetic labias around in water parks. In at number two, Hannibal Rising amassed a semi-respectable $13 million, paving the way for yet another sequel, which will no doubt focus on Hannibal Lecter’s time in the womb, where he is rumored to have feasted upon his unborn twin.

With Tyler Perry’s Daddy’s Little Girl (Valentine’s Day’s top box-office earner) and Music and Lyrics out of the way already, we still have three more wide releases this weekend. First up, Ghost Rider which is the first-ever filmic adaptation of an Iron Maiden T-shirt, starring Nicholas Cage as Eddie the Head (and you have no idea how proud I am of that reference — wearing those goddamn T-shirts for two years in high school has finally paid off). Bridge to Terabithia opens on 3,100 screens and, while I don’t have much hope for the film, I do admit that AnnaSophia Robb is second only to Shareeka Epps on my list of this generation’s best child actors. And finally, Breach, featuring the extraordinarily talented Chris Cooper, opens in around 1,500 theaters.

Also, a reminder: Jeremy will continue over the weekend to lend a voice to the discussion of next weekend’s Oscar ceremony over at The Film Experience. Do check it out.

And, to ensure that you see at least something good this weekend, here is a brand-spanking new, full-length trailer for Grindhouse. It’s orgasmerific.

millivanilli.jpg

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The Daily Trade Round-Up / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | January 16, 2007 | Comments ()



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