Pajiba

I particularly like the 'Kut n Go' ad beneath the Captivity poster.

Why the hate for Pirates of the Carribean?

I've seen the phrase female empowerment bandied about in reference to everything from The Pussycat Dolls to Paris Hilton. I'm pretty sure the modern day definition of "female empowerment" was conceived by a man.

Did no one learn from Doom?

Next there will be a torture porn Xbox game (Catch the virgins! See how many fingers you can cut off before the clock strikes twelve! Identify the spilled guts!) and then they'll make it into a movie called Body Partz or something equally puerile and it'll be a big hit with the kiddies.

And the dog movie? If it looks like a dog, sounds like a dog, smells like a dog... sigh.

What about Silent Hill? It hit everything it was supposed to and still was a good movie. The only one I can think of though.

But let's not forget about BloodRayne. The montage at the end alone makes it the best movie of all time

Year of the dog...Hmm, OK. A little cute for my tastes, but might feel a bit like Happiness, or Storytelling.
Much rather see that than poor Elisha's exploitation flick. As little as I liked Paris Hilton and kinda tho Cuthbert was hot, I didn't want to see an obviously crappy HOUSE OF WAX (Isn't that vernacular for a film studio?), even to see Hilton get axed...

So - Eugh! You know what I mean?

Rather watch Uwe Boll in that boxing match than Bloodrayne. The trailer alone made me finish off my ibuprofen bottle.

The suckiness of video game movies has nothing to do with some inherent problem with trying to make a movie out of a video game and everything to do with talentless hacks.

'Gears of War' is a fairly cinematic game as it is. It could be a fun little brainless movie with lots of cool cinematics. Hell, I haven't stopped thinking about the Hammer of Dawn since I saw it in action.

Of course, like you said, some idiot will feel the need to tack on a romance or some other crap and completely destroy the fun.

At least with Uwe Boll, the level of suck is guaranteed.

Eventhough I spent most of last night watching SVU reruns, I still don't know this. What class felony is soul-raping?

Good point, KDM.

You don't suppose said dumbass wannabe producer would give me a cut of the profits, do you? I don't even own an Xbox...

Bad video game adaptation and homoeroticism you say?

Sounds like Vin Diesel's next project.

Silent Hill was an incredible piece of shit. When people say they liked it I ask them "what happened in it?" they never know, the story was too retarded to care to remember.

I've played Gears of War at my cousins house, with the rattle your nuts sound system and tv so big it has God in the picture in picture. It actually would lend itself to the kind of Bay/Bruckheimer type of action flick I can appreciate. It would need someone with a darker directorial style though.

I'm all for mindless entertainment when it doesn't pretend to be anything but, as long as they don't tack on some half assed love angle to make the lead character "relateable". It's a movie about soldiers jacked up on steroids shoving chainsaws into the chests of alien invaders: That's not the kind of guy who's sensitive side I would even WANT to see. Yeah, I can totally see them casting Vin "No Neck" Diesel for this one.

I also think Silent Hill is probably, to date, the best movie based on a game. The original Resident Evil is a close second.

Maybe Captivity is about female empowerment because Cuthbert gets tortured and murdered for setting unrealistic beatuy standards for women of all ages. And the twist is that the torturer/murderer is a woman, and a hot(t) one! Then they can do some lesbian torture porn homoeroticism!
Why not go to the absolute depths exploitation?

"Has there ever been a good movie based on a video game? Ever?"
There could be if someone would make a movie (or movies) of the Gabriel Knight series, if PC adventure games count. Those games are already fairly cinematic as it is; the second game in the series was even done as full motion video with live actors and all. I don't see why people don't make movies out of adventure games if they must make a movie out of a game; they already come with plots and characters and everything. Oh, wait, the people making movies don't care about that stuff, anyway. *Sigh*
/rant

ok, i may get completely murdered for this...but i really don't think the billboard for captivity is that bad (with PERHAPS the exception of the second last torture still)...i think saw was way more disgusting with the severed body parts.

the only thing that upsets me about the whole captivity poster scandal (and excuse my language) is that some carpet licking whore had the audacity to call kidnap, rape, and torture empowering.

"godawful soul-raping suckfest of a movie" shall now be part of my movie-going vocabulary. Right up there with "sweaty piece of turd" (Jon Stewart).
Year of the Dog looks not half bad, actually, so thanks for that clip!

I'm actually a member of the religious left. Just wanted to get that on record. Thanks.

I too get really pissed off when I see the term "female empowerment" used as a cover for things that are stupid, insulting, sexist, distasteful, gross and/or horrid.

However, this has been going on for YEARS!!!! Have any of you ever looked at women's fashion?? Or sat around and listened to women talk, especially in high school and college, when they convince themselves it's cool and smart to be slutty? Mr. Head-up-his-ass at After Dark finally said in a public forum what a lot of women have convinced themselves of for years: anything offensive or against mainstream taste that involves women is "female empowerment" and therefore above reproach.

And yes, I am female, and I work as an electrical engineer, so I realize I've been given opportunities much broader than what my grandmother had. But anything done in the name of "female empowerment" since at least the mid-80s has been complete crap. 90% of the shit I've taken from other people about my career choices or my personal tastes (I like heavy metal music and action movies and martial arts and hate chick flicks) has come from other women.

And on a more pleasant side note, I also thought the original Mortal Kombat movie was pretty good. Cheesy in parts, but overall a good movie. I haven't played Gears of War, but I was always under the impression it didn't have a plot, it was strictly a shoot-em-up game???

Camille, Gears of War has your basic 'man vs. hive mind' plot plus your 'armageddon' plot plus your 'disgraced soldier does good' plot plus your 'we want this to be a trilogy so there's vague waving of hands' plot plus your 'the government is always business and the business is always evil' plot.

Any one of those could be good for a two hour joyride, as long as they don't tack on 'cute girl needs help' or 'ex-soldier love interest needs help' or 'random screaming blonde needs help'.

.... and Kris, I don't know if you were being sarcastic or what but I'm pretty sure Uwe Boll's grand abomination "Alone in the Dark" was 'inspired' by the Gabriel Knight games. So no, I guess you're right, nobody's made a serious attempt to make a GK movie.

I left a comment to this yesterday but it didn't show up. Dammit.

Anyway, it went something along the lines of:

Let's not forget, Mike White made a couple of really good movies before he started doing nothing but Jack Black Vehicles. Although his previous attempts at working with Molly Shannon have turned out rather disastrously... She seems to be somewhat likable and not at all abrasive, judging from this trailer.

And also fuck that, Wes Anderson is nothing but a Hal Ashby rip off himself (kidding.... sortof) so let's give Mike the benefit of the doubt before we start making comparisons.

I'm not a big video game player, but I loved Star Wars: The Knights of the Old Republic. The plot is definitely big-screen worthy if they decide they want to make a Star Wars pre-pre-quel.

Yup, ranylt, you got played. Bummer.

Not only did he play you, ranyIt, but he got a tax break for it.

Way to go.