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Mmmmm … Nerd Leg.

The Weekly Geek / Claude Weaver III

Trade News | December 4, 2008 | Comments (43)


Sorry for the late post folks. I got a little busy this week, what with near food poisoning, several last-ditch study sessions for tests (which I ended up missing due to the food poisoning), and my upcoming birthday party. I would be pissed at Rowles for not reminding me, but he did post those pictures of Tina Fey, so I suppose he is forgiven. Mmmmm, sexy nerd legs, ain’t nothin’ like ‘em.

So anyway here is this week’s geek news:

It seems that there is more trouble afoot with the planned Justice League movie. Australian director George Miller (The Road Warrior) was said to be out as helmer, but reports now state that he is not only still on, but that the original story was some sort of hoax:

“A representative from Kennedy Miller Mitchell tells us that George Miller did not appear on the “Sunrise Morning Show” let alone confirm anything about “Justice League” or “Mad Max.” According to the representative, “The facts are indeed the complete opposite to what was reported” below …

Dark Horizons reports that filmmaker George Miller appeared on Sydney-based morning talk show “Sunrise” on Monday and confirmed he’s no longer involved with the Justice League movie in any capacity.”

I think was can all agree that Marvel is wiping the floor with DC in the cinematic arena. After DC managed to steal one of Marvel’s original big guns (Bryan Singer) and the revival of the Batman franchise, there was a point in time where folks thought the fight would at least come close. But with this whole Avengers-based cohesiveness keeping their films on track and DC shedding people off its films faster than (insert reference to Pookie’s mother, her maidenhood, and some well-known unsavory locale), it is going to take a stupendous miracle from DC (or one mother of a flop from Marvel) for that to happen. Confusion on whether or not the director to what could have been their flagship is still on-board is not exactly a step in the right direction.

You remember hearing about The Expendables, the movie that threatens to combine Sly Stallone, Jason Statham, and Jet Li in a kickass action movie? Well, it just got a little more old school. It seems that Sly might be sharing celluloid with his old foe, none other than Dolph “I Vill Break You” Lundgren. Drago … I mean, Dolph is in talks to join the project, along with Forest Whitaker (Ghost Dog, Last King of Scotland).

Meanwhile, Zack Snyder has confirmed that he is currently trying to whittle the Watchmen film down to a shorter final length for the theatrical release.

“We’re getting really close,” producer Deborah Snyder said in a telephone interview on Nov. 18. “We’re at two hours and 35 minutes.”

Director Zack Snyder added: “The movie’s pretty long … compared to 300, which was an hour and 58 minutes. The director’s cut [of Watchmen] is about three hours and 10 minutes long. It has even more than the theatrical version as far as the detail that gets even closer to the graphic novel.”

So now there will be three version: the theatrical cut, the director’s 3 hours + cut, and a “Tales of the Black Freighter” animated DVD to be released when the movie hits theaters. Snyder plans to edit in the “Black Freighter” material directly into the main film, presumably for the eventual home release.

Now, for those of you wondering how geeky and obscure I can really get, this one is for you: Gail Anne Hurd, producer of the Friday-opening Punisher: War Zone, has announced two new indie-comic-based projects.

The first is Gearhead, based on a graphic novel from Arcana Comics. It tells the story of a young woman who (get this) “teams up with a group of rebels to fight the corrupt superheroes who govern the United States. She must rise to the challenge of her destiny and become ‘Gearhead.’” I sure hope it is better than it sounds.

The second project is Magdalena, bbased on a spinoff character from Top Cow’s The Darkness. The eponymous character is a woman who discovers that she is part of a long lineage of female warriors, descended from Mary Magadalene, who fight all sorts of supernatural evil. And yes, Hurd already knows what you are thinking:

“She’s terrific. It’s kind of like ‘The Da Vinci Code’ meets ‘Wanted,’” …”You’ve got the mythology and a character who isn’t initially aware of her legacy which something I love. Many of my films deal with that. And it’s still has supernatural elements.”

Uh-huh. Jenny Dewan has been chosen to play the lead, and Luke Goss (Hellboy II: The Golden Army’s Prince Nuada) is playing an agent of the organization behind the Magdalenas. Something tells me they aren’t going to keep the whole thing about the Magdalenas being devout nuns as well.

Little update on a previous related item: Lexi Alexander, the actually-quite-hot director of Punisher: War Zone, is considering taking over the Jonah Hex movie, seeing as how the previous directors got the hell outta Dodge.

By the way, quick note: Luke Goss is currently filming the movie adaptation of the fighting game Tekken in Shreveport, LA, in the role of Steve Fox. Yeah, I had no idea they were making a Tekken movie either. Go figure.

Geek question: After seeing Hellboy II, answer yes or no: Luke Goss as Drizzt Do’Urden in a Forgotten Realms movie. I say yes.

This week’s trailer is a teaser for Astro Boy, a CGI film based on the legendary character created by Osamu Tezuka, the “God of Manga.” The original television adaptation is considered the first official anime, so for you haters out there, this is the guy to blame.

Doesn’t look horrendous YET. It is a teaser, after all. I see they passed on the whole “little boy in only black shorty-shorts” depiction. I wonder if the butt guns will still be in this version:










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Comments

Hmm, I never considered Luke Goss as Drizzt in a Forgotten Realms movie. I never actually considered any kind of Forgotten Realms movie. I would have to agree, though, he would be a great choice.

Posted by: Snath at December 4, 2008 1:05 PM

I got like, 45% of all of that. You are on a whole different level of geek, Claude. I bow to your clear superiority. Your Kung Fu is the best.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at December 4, 2008 1:07 PM

I think was can all agree that Marvel is wiping the floor with DC in the cinematic arena.

I would have to respectfully disagree, sir. Three Words: The...Dark...Knight. That one film not only out does ANY of the Marvel pictures, but washes away the taste of even the worst DC picture. Even Batman and Robin.

Posted by: Mike R. at December 4, 2008 1:09 PM

I think Goss as Drizzt would be an excellent choice and I would love to see the Dark Elf Trilogy as a movie. If Tekken turns out to be anything like DOA those involved should just do the honourable thing.

Posted by: admin at December 4, 2008 1:13 PM

I read "Sylvester Stallone" and fell asleep. What happened after that?

Posted by: firedmyass at December 4, 2008 1:14 PM

If Zack Snyder wants to cut down on screen time for Watchmen so badly, here's a radical idea: Stop going into slow motion every five seconds. That'll shave off at least hour and a half of footage right there.

Posted by: SJ at December 4, 2008 1:17 PM

If Tekken turns out to be anything like DOA those involved should just do the honourable thing.

Wait, Admin, did you mean stop paying taxes, or moving onto moderately successful NBC sitcoms where no one will take them serious ever again?

Posted by: Mike R. at December 4, 2008 1:20 PM

Three Words: The...Dark...Knight.

Batman and Robin was an act against God, but you are totally right, TDK redeems all.

Time-cutting Watchmen is so not good news. Attention Hollywood: If the story you're trying to tell is bigger than a feature length movie DON'T TRY TO MAKE A MOVIE OUT OF IT.

Posted by: twig at December 4, 2008 1:28 PM

I will only accept this Astroboy movie if his arms get ripped off at least once. I see no evidence of this in the trailer. That show scarred me as a child btw. I'm almost glad my computer won't let me watch the episodes that are on hulu.

Posted by: s. pisaster at December 4, 2008 1:35 PM

I saw Dolph Lundgren at a party once. This was over ten years ago, and it was long before my Hollywood days. Dolph played a character very loosely based on an old rival/acquaintance of mine, but that's another story.

Dolph's stature was striking. Ivan Drago, the seven-foot Russian boxing behemoth is no taller than I am? And how short would this mean that Sylvester Stallone must be?

It would be a lesson I would learn many more times out in California, but this was my initial firsthand experience with the Hollywood rearview-mirror-esque maxim: "Stars on big screen are taller than they appear."

I was tempted to start a conversation with Dolph and give him the Universal Soldier quote "I'm all ears." (For those who aren't familiar Universal Soldier, there's a point in the film at which Dolph's character says this line while wearing a necklace of severed human ears.) However, people were crowded around him, so I stuck with my usual party wallflower M.O.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at December 4, 2008 1:39 PM

familiar "with," that is.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at December 4, 2008 1:40 PM

Wait, DC and Marvel are different studios? But they both are making Batman and Justice League movies?

I'm so confused.

Posted by: courtney 2 at December 4, 2008 1:40 PM

Geek question: After seeing Hellboy II, answer yes or no: Luke Goss as Drizzt Do'Urden in a Forgotten Realms movie. I say yes.

FUCK Drizzt Do'Urden.

That said, yeah, Luke Goss would make a good Drizzt. And knowing the friends of mine who tried for years to get me into those fucking books, I'd probably end up seeing the fucking film, too. God, I hope that doesn't happen.

Posted by: lizzieborden at December 4, 2008 1:49 PM

No Mike R. I was actually hoping for Seppuku.

Posted by: admin at December 4, 2008 1:51 PM

"Shorter than they appear." Dammit. I'm like a comedy of errors.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at December 4, 2008 1:53 PM

Wait, DC and Marvel are different studios? But they both are making Batman and Justice League movies?

I'm so confused.

*sigh* courtney 2 they also happen to be different comic book companies. Sort of a long standing rivalry. They're not both making Batman and Justic League movies, Claude was trying to compare their bodies of work. (Batman & Justic Leage = DC; Spiderman & Avengers = Marvel)

I don't know why I get surprised when people don't know these things.

Posted by: Kayanne at December 4, 2008 2:00 PM

I am still not convinced that either Justice League or The Avengers are really great ideas for movies.

At the moment, I would have to give the edge to The Avengers based on the fact that they will have RDJ as Tony Stark, whereas it appears that Christian Bale will very likely not be playing Batman in the Justice League movie. That can't be good.

Drizzt. I have never been a fan of him or the drow. Everyone always wants to play the drow who has been banished to the surface, blah, blah, blah... That and they have been all the rage at GenCon the last couple of years.

Speaking of short actors, I was once standing behind Stephen Bladwin at some coffee shop in Ann Arbor. I kept thinking "Wow, this guy really looks like Stephen Bladwin. But why would Stephen Baldwin be in Ann Arbor and there's no way this guy is McManus. He's waaay too short." Turns out it was Stephen Baldwin. He was in town promoting "One Tough Cop."

You are correct, sir. Lexi Alexander is, indeed, actually-quite-hot. It's too bad her new movie is so likely going to blow. Why does the Punisher look like he's wearing a black neck brace all the time?

Posted by: ajax19 at December 4, 2008 2:07 PM

I hate to be a geek buzz kill, but does anyone know what happened to EE? It's the second Thursday in a row without one...my soul hurts. Did I miss a memo or something?

Posted by: Mike R. at December 4, 2008 2:08 PM

I second the EE absence protest - the dark is everywhere and Prisco doesn't seem to care and soon the dark in me is all that will remain!

Posted by: lordhelmet at December 4, 2008 2:22 PM

Yea I miss it to. Where it be at, yo?

Posted by: Kayanne at December 4, 2008 2:25 PM

Maybe its taking Prisco a long time to read through two weeks of comments.

Or maybe it's because he has to speak each word as he reads it.

Any which way, hurry up! I need my fix! I'm about to go track down Winehouse to score some junk. Avoiding a relaps is dependant upon you Prisco!

Posted by: admin at December 4, 2008 2:33 PM

Like you need a reason admin.

Posted by: Pookie at December 4, 2008 2:40 PM

Luke Goss?! Hell , yeah! I'd watch him in anything. He was spectacular as the "monster" in Hallmark's miniseries Frankenstein.

Posted by: Nadha at December 4, 2008 2:49 PM

Wait, Kayanne Batman and Spiderman were comic books?

I'm so confused.

Posted by: courtney 2 at December 4, 2008 2:56 PM

Actually, no. Both Batman & Spiderman came from the prophecies of Nostradamus. True story.

Posted by: Kayanne at December 4, 2008 3:05 PM

Kayanne, are they the two brothers that he said would be torn asunder, or some junk like that? 9/11 my ass, I knew Nostradamus was predicting a Batman/Spidey slamdown!

Posted by: Mike R. at December 4, 2008 3:16 PM

Well...Astroboy doesn't look that bad yet, I'll give it more time before criticizing it, but I don't have any high hopes (and I'd rather keep my opinions regarding Astroboy's looking better or worse with the shirt on)

Posted by: Radlum at December 4, 2008 3:22 PM

admin, Prisco is Claire from Heroes? The last minutes of the last episode made me want to punch her.

Posted by: Snath at December 4, 2008 3:36 PM

Okay, you were discussing Luke Goss and casting choice, and I just can't hold this in anymore:

I had an epiphany not too long ago: I realized that Alan Tudyk (Firefly, Death At A Funeral) would be the best choice to play The Riddler in the next Batman flick.

Anybody with me on this?

Posted by: Audiosuede at December 4, 2008 3:38 PM

They're making a movie based on Tekken? For serious? I love Tekken. Just be the little Asian girl and kick without stopping; you win every time.

Posted by: Nicole at December 4, 2008 3:47 PM

It's not a bad idea. Not bad at all.

But you can pry my David Tennant dream casting from my cold dead hands.

The Justice League of George Miller must not become a movie. It could destroy us.

Posted by: Jay at December 4, 2008 3:48 PM

Snath I have only seen one episode of Heros....ever. So I am afraid your reference is lost on me.

On a lighter note I'm off to score. I got my works and I'm looking for the good stuff. My wife and daughters thank you Prisco as they will now be forced work the streets to feed daddy's addiction.

My wifes going to be doubly pissed off when she finds out I wrecked one of her good spoons.

Posted by: admin at December 4, 2008 3:56 PM

Keep the Tennant fires burning! Every time someone mentions that they know Dr. Who, I bring it up. I'll start sending letters to DC, to Christopher Nolan, to Christian Bale if I must. That man WILL be in a Green Question-Marked Suit.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at December 4, 2008 4:01 PM

Tennant doing manic and confunding, but bad guy? So, basically you want the Valeyard in a funny suit?

I'll buy that.

Posted by: Nicole at December 4, 2008 4:06 PM

Hey, it wasn't my idea, but I've clung to it like driftwood in the North Atlantic.

Remember, this is the green two-piece and bowler Riddler I'm talking here. Don't get any nauseating ideas. The leotard should've stayed with Gorshin.

Posted by: Jay at December 4, 2008 4:11 PM

So, wait, is EE gone gone, or is Prisco just taking an extended Vacay from it?

Posted by: Kayanne at December 4, 2008 4:26 PM

I've heard about the Tekken movie. I hope it doesn't suck horribly. Nina Williams was always my favorite, so she better kick the shit out of a bunch of people.

That is all.

Posted by: Gabs at December 4, 2008 4:32 PM

I want my EE fix! My life feels so empty :(

I think I need to take Prisco-stalking to DefCon Level Pumpkin.

That means I go over there and bribe him with cupcakes and bourbon. And lovin'.

Posted by: figgy at December 4, 2008 6:32 PM

admin - At the end of the last episode, Claire (the cheerleader) is reading a comic book, and as she's reading it she's saying each word out loud, and it's really, really annoying.

Posted by: Snath at December 4, 2008 10:39 PM

Isn't Hayden Pentententerere the cheerleader Snath? If so, the statement really, really annoying is somewhat redundant.

Posted by: admin at December 5, 2008 1:07 AM

Touché.

Posted by: Snath at December 5, 2008 8:30 AM

Of course, Jay. No one needs to see him in a leotard.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at December 5, 2008 2:12 PM

Some might want to but....that can happen off the clock.

Posted by: Jay at December 5, 2008 2:49 PM